


Black as Night

by Wolfie_Dragon



Series: Blindcup Universe [1]
Category: How to Train Your Dragon (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Blindness, Bullying, Disability, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, No Supernatural Elements
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-17
Updated: 2017-01-23
Packaged: 2018-09-18 06:23:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 26
Words: 137,142
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9372164
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wolfie_Dragon/pseuds/Wolfie_Dragon
Summary: Both Hiccup and Astrid are eager to prove themselves as worthy dragon killers in a war-torn Berk. But their lives change dramatically when Hiccup is blinded in a terrible accident in Dragon Training. And things only get more complicated when Hiccup has to hide a dragon in the forest and Stoick is desperate to punish someone for crippling his son. An alternative retelling of How To Train Your Dragon 1, featuring a blind Hiccup.





	1. Honor and Respect

Hiccup couldn't believe his eyes. Right there, only a few yards away from him, was the Night Fury! Its black limbs and wings were tangled in the bolas Hiccup had fired that morning, and the location of the impact crater matched the area where he saw the dragon crash with a loud shriek earlier.

There was no doubt about it. Hiccup had done it. He was the first Viking to have ever seen a Night Fury, and he was the first to bring it down.

And yet, even though his triumph was evident, Hiccup was terrified. He grabbed his knife from one of his pockets, and climbed down the hill as silently as he could. He took cover behind a large boulder next to the dragon, and carefully peeked around it.

The dragon wasn't moving. It lay perfectly still, and made no sound. Hiccup was sure that it was dead. The tension left him, as relief took its place. His mind was racing at a million miles per second as he considered the implications of what had happened. He had killed a dragon. He had killed a dragon before any of the other teenagers had. He had killed a Night Fury! The unholy offspring of lightning and death itself! He would finally be respected now. His father wouldn't have to be ashamed of him anymore. He would go down in history as a great warrior, the first one to slay the horrible Night Fury.

He might even get a date with Astrid!

"Oh wow. I did it. I actually did it!" he said out loud, as he came out of his hiding place. "This... This fixes everything!" he said as he walked towards the still dragon and placed his foot on its neck in a victory pose, like he had once seen his father do with a Monstrous Nightmare. "I have brought down this mighty beast..."

And then it woke up. It started screaming and thrashing, and the ecstasy Hiccup was feeling was replaced once again with utter terror. He jumped back and fell against the rock, his left hand pointing the puny dagger towards the dragon. It was only then that he realized that the dragon was still trapped in the bolas and ropes, and couldn't actually hurt him. And yet, this didn't really reassure him.

Hiccup slowly stood up and inched towards the dragon, dagger at the ready. The dragon had stopped thrashing, but it was now softly moaning. Hiccup looked at it, and as he stared at the head, its eyes opened.

The eyes were very different from what Hiccup had expected to see. He had expected evil looking red eyes, like fire. Or bright blue eyes narrowed in fury, like Astrid's eyes when he dropped her axe. Or even brown eyes filled with disappointment, like his father's every time he looked at Hiccup, because even the dragon would know what a mistake Hiccup was.

But these eyes had a calm green color, and they were wide open. And Hiccup didn't see any anger, or disappointment, or some primal killing stare. He saw only fear, and worry, and pain. But Hiccup couldn't let this dissuade him. If it isn't dead yet, then he would just kill it right now. He took a deep breath, and readied himself.

"I'm gonna kill you, dragon," he said, more to himself than to the dragon. "I'm going to cut out your heart and take it to my father."

He raised the dagger above his head, trying to ignore the moans and the sad looks the dragon produced. "I'm a Viking. I'm a Viking!" He screamed the last part at the dragon, hoping that it would be true if he would only say it loud enough.

Hiccup closed his eyes, and prepared himself to plunge the knife into the dragon. Another moan from the dragon made him open his eyes, and he once again saw the look the dragon was giving him. That look of fear and pain. The offspring of lightning and death seemed to be begging him, tiny weak Hiccup, to help it. Hiccup was frozen in confusion at this unexpected behavior, and the dragon laid down its head, seemingly resigned to its fate. Hiccup raised the knife once again, and closed his eyes. He tried desperately not to think of the fear he had seen, the fear that seemed to mirror his own. He tried once again to gather the courage to plunge the knife into its heart, but he couldn't.

Hiccup dropped the knife and opened his eyes. The realization hit him: He couldn't kill a dragon. He couldn't even kill a dragon when it was defenseless in front of him. He wouldn't come back to the village with the heart of a Night Fury, and he would never be the hero he had fantasized about for those few incredible moments. He would remain Hiccup the Useless, instead of Hiccup the Dragonslayer. He started to walk back to the village, feeling weaker than he had ever felt before, but after a few steps a moan from the dragon got his attention. He looked at the dragon, still trapped in the bolas he had fired.

"I did this," Hiccup softly said. He was responsible for the pain and fear the dragon was going through. If he left it here, the dragon would surely die of starvation or from the wounds it sustained in the crash. It would be even worse than the quick kill with the knife.

And with that thought, Hiccup considered his options. He could get someone else from the village to kill the dragon for him, or he could leave it there and come back in a week when it would surely be dead. But he realized that he didn't want this dragon to die. It didn't deserve to die. And if it shouldn't die, it should live. And for that, it needed to be freed from the ropes.

And so, Hiccup made a decision. He grabbed his knife from the ground, and started to cut through the ropes restraining the dragon. The dragon made a surprised sound, but stayed still. But as Hiccup cut through the last rope, the dragon suddenly lunged and pinned Hiccup to the boulder.

Hiccup had never been so afraid. He looked straight into the eyes of the dragon, and the fear there was gone. The murderous look he had expected to see earlier was staring him in the face. _"Well, this is how I die,"_ Hiccup managed to think in this moment of terror. _"By a dragon I could have killed, but that I freed because I'm a coward."_

He breathed heavily, and moved his head as far back as he could. The dragon opened its jaws, showing rows of sharp teeth. Hiccup was sure those would bite him in half any moment now. The dragon then roared loudly at him, and Hiccup closed his eyes, waiting for death.

But death never came. The claw on his chest disappeared, and the dragon ran off deeper into the forest. As Hiccup opened his eyes, he saw it trying to take off, but slam into a rock. It continued to move further into the forest, until it disappeared into the fog.

Hiccup's mind was reeling, as he started to realize that he was actually still alive. He got up and tried to run to the village. But before he had made two steps, his brain seemed to overload with thoughts about all that had happened during the past few minutes. With a moan, Hiccup fell face first into the soft grass.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Astrid was exhausted, but she refused to let that affect her as she kept slamming her axe into the pile of debris. A true warrior doesn't need sleep. She had been woken in the middle of the night because of the dragon raid. She and the other teenagers had recently become part of the fire brigade, responsible for putting out fires the dragons caused. Everyone kept telling her how important the fire brigade was, and that nearly every great warrior in Berk had been part of the fire brigade before they started dragon training. But Astrid didn't like it. She wanted to fight dragons. There was no glory to be had fighting fires, no songs would be sung about saving crates filled with cloth or food, no statues build of Vikings wielding buckets instead of axes.

Astrid had been training to fight dragons, not to fight fires. She felt that she needed to restore honor to the Hofferson name, after Uncle Finn had been branded a coward after he was frozen in fear facing the Flightmare years ago. Yet for all the hours she trained by herself every day in the forest, she had yet to make a name for herself. While the other teens seemed to be impressed by her skill, the adults barely knew who she was.

This morning, after the raid was over, Chief Stoick had started organizing the people into different crews to "clean up my son's mess," as he put it. He had looked at her, and just said "You. You fix those stairs Hiccup broke."

It had hurt, to realize that the chief seemed to have no idea who she was, or that she was worthy of more honorable tasks than carpentry! Even the twins were more notorious than her, but that was mostly due to the destruction they caused. But she couldn't stand up to the chief, so that was how she had spent her day, fixing a wooden ramp that had been destroyed by a falling brazier. As she was cutting the ruined wood into pieces with her axe, she considered what had happened the night before.

Astrid had woken up to the sounds of horns being blown, the signal for a dragon attack. She had immediately put her armor on, and grabbed her axe, even though she wasn't allowed to use it. Her mother had made her promise that she would help the fire brigade, and to not engage dragons unless she absolutely had to. Astrid had spent the rest of the night putting out fires and trying to prevent the twins from starting more fires. She also had to content with Fishlegs trying to put statistics to every fire they put out, and she tried desperately to ignore Snotlout repeatedly hitting on her.

But just when she thought the raid was nearly over, Hiccup's scream had alerted the village to more incoming destruction. Many of the villagers, including Astrid and the rest of the teens, had made their way to the village square, where Stoick was fighting off the Nightmare chasing Hiccup. But as the Nightmare retreated, a brazier had collapsed, the burning bowl rolling down the hill, destroying everything it touched. Hiccup was standing in the center, looking like he wished he could just disappear.

As his father started to reprimand him, Hiccup surprised her by offering explanations that he just "had to kill dragons." While Astrid was no stranger to the desire to kill dragons, Hiccup was just... not the dragon killing type. She had not seen him in action much, but his reputation preceded him. Her father always complained about the damage Hiccup would do to the village with his 'crazy machines and idiotic contraptions'. She had talked to him a few time when she came to the forge, and he had always seemed terrified of everything, stuttering and dropping things. She couldn't imagine how he could forge weapons with those shaking hands, let alone wield them. He had certainly not seemed the type to seek out danger by facing dragons by himself.

It was no surprise then that disaster followed every time he tried. While Astrid had missed most of what had happened that night with the Monstrous Nightmare, she could trace the path of destruction. It seemed that Hiccup had encountered the Nightmare near the catapult tower, and had run towards the village square. The dragon had followed him, destroying everything in its path. Hiccup had probably taken cover behind the brazier, which was then burned down. Stoick had to step in and beat the Nightmare, while Hiccup could only cower.

While she was annoyed at the destruction around her, she found it hard to truly blame Hiccup. He hadn't destroyed those houses, the dragon had done that. The Nightmare had burned down the brazier, not Hiccup. Hiccup's only fault was that he had lured the dragon towards the village, but was that such a strange course of action? Even she would have had second thoughts if she had encountered a Monstrous Nightmare. Of course, Hiccup shouldn't have been outside, but could she really blame him for having the same desire to kill dragons as she had?

Maybe he was as desperate for glory and respect as she was. After all, he was to be the future chief, and yet he didn't even get to join the fire brigade. She couldn't deny that Hiccup was the laughing stock of the village. She had seen it herself last night. After Hiccup had been publicly scolded by the chief himself, the other teens had started to make fun of him as well. Tuffnut and Snotlout had even 'complimented' him on the record-breaking amount of damage he had caused this time. Hiccup hadn't seemed all that affected by it, though. He had shrugged it all off with his trademark sarcasm, and had simply followed Gobber back to his house.

But as much as she sympathized with Hiccup, Astrid couldn't help but feel a little bit triumphant at the fact that she had never caused that much damage to the village. Maybe being notorious isn't always a good thing.

As the sun was setting, and the ramp was nearly rebuild, she was finally dismissed and free to go home. She would never admit it, but she couldn't wait to lie down and sleep. She walked to her house, and was greeted with an odd sight as she entered. Dinner was already on the table, while normally they didn't eat until an hour after sundown. There were also a few heavily packed bags on the floor next to the door.

"Sit," her father, Tolfdir, commanded. As always, she obeyed him, and eagerly started to eat her mutton.

"Why are we eating so early?" Astrid asked as her mother, Kirsten, sat down at the table as well.

"The chief called an assembly today. There will be another expedition to find the dragons' nest. Your mother and I will be joining them. We will be leaving this evening," Tolfdir explained.

"Oh. So I will be alone here?" Astrid asked. Her parents had been on expeditions before, but never together. Still, it would not make much of a difference. Astrid spent most of her days training by herself in the forest, and she could eat in the Great Hall.

"Yes, but you will have a busy schedule. We have decided that you will be joining the new dragon training class. Gobber will start training you and your friends in the morning," Kirsten said.

Astrid dropped her spoon filled with mutton, and suddenly didn't feel tired anymore. "Dragon training?" She nearly screamed.

Her father laughed at her enthusiasm. "That's right. You are more than ready to face real dragons instead of the trees you kill every day".

"Also, I think it would give you the opportunity to spend more time with the other children. You never seem to play with them," Her mother said.

Astrid was annoyed at that. "But they're stupid. None off them take dragon killing serious. They're focused on having fun, instead of preparing for the war! I don't need their friendship!" She said, as she tried to stab the mutton with her spoon.

Her mother's face fell at that, but she said nothing. Her father used his 'trainer' tone, the voice he used when he explained to Astrid how to throw an axe or make a somersault. "Astrid, you can't face a dragon raid alone. You can perfect your technique all you want, but in the heat of battle you have to rely on your fellow soldiers. You need to work together to survive and win. And I'm sure they'll also take dragon killing more serious after training."

Astrid couldn't argue with that. Her father said it was so, and she wouldn't contradict her father. Then she got another thought: "I'll get to kill the Nightmare! I'm sure of it, none of the other kids are good enough to win dragon training. Then I'll be the first to kill a dragon!" She exclaimed with glee. Her father seemed proud at that, but her mother's expression was strange. Astrid seemed to see sadness, or disappointment in her face. She didn't understand it. Why would her mother be sad about her winning the honor of killing her first dragon?

They finished the rest of their dinner in silence. Astrid was filled with energy, and Tolfdir was happy and proud. Yet Kirsten seemed tired and sad. Soon enough, dinner was over, and Astrid's parents had to leave. They stood awkwardly, none of them very good with showing their feelings. Feelings are weaknesses, her father always said.

Eventually Tolfdir said "Promise me you'll train hard."

"And promise me you won't maim your classmates in frustration," Kirsten said, with a smile that somehow seemed forced.

"Of course. And I promise that when you come back you'll see me kill the Monstrous Nightmare!" Astrid said.

And with that, her parents picked up their bags and left the house. Suddenly, all the energy that had overtaken Astrid seemed to dissipate and she felt exhausted once again. She went to her bedroom. As she put her shoulder pads away, she briefly wondered if Hiccup would be part of the dragon training class as well.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When Hiccup woke up, he didn't understand why he was lying in the grass. Why would he be sleeping outside? He rubbed the sleep out of his eyes, and looked around. When he saw dragon footprints and cut up bolas, it all came flooding back. He, puny Hiccup, had managed to take down a Night Fury. And he wasn't able to kill it. He had freed it, and the dragon had attacked him. And yet, it hadn't killed him. Why not, Hiccup pondered. Was it not hungry? Was it some form of gratitude for freeing the dragon from the ropes? Was Hiccup so tiny he was simply not perceived as a threat?

Hiccup sighed. It was probably that last thing. The dragon had realized the uselessness of Hiccup as well, and had let him go with a stern warning, since eating him would have been too much effort.

Hiccup noticed that the sun was setting, and made his way back to the village. As he was walking, he thought about the implications of his cowardice. He had to face the facts: He can't kill dragons. That means he could never be a warrior. Which means not joining dragon training.

On the one hand, Hiccup was relieved at the possibility of not having to face live dragons. With his track record, that would probably not end well. On the other hand, the shame would be great. A chief has to lead his people during both peace and war. A chief must be a warrior. A man who can't kill his greatest enemy is no chief. The chiefdom would go to a more worthy Viking, like Astrid or Snotlout.

And even if he gave up the chiefdom, he would never have status if he didn't fight. On Berk, everyone fights dragons if necessary. Even Gobber, who was an invaluable blacksmith and who had already lost two limbs in battle, would join the fight if he was needed. If Hiccup would ever refuse that call, he might as well be exiled.

Not to mention his chances of getting a girlfriend would go from 'slim' to 'nonexistent'.

As Hiccup caught sight of the village, his foot got stuck in a tree root. Hiccup fell down hard, and it felt like the gods were simply rubbing it in, making sure he got the message: Hiccup would never be a great Viking. Hel, he would never be a Viking, period, if he didn't go through dragon training. He might be able to make a living doing odd jobs or by assisting in the forge, but he would never truly be part of the village.

And yet, Hiccup didn't feel as sad about it as he figured he should. Maybe his subconscious had already accepted it long ago. The events of today had only confirmed it. He had already been living as a pariah for years, so what difference would it make?

As he reached his house, he silently opened the door. He knew he would have to speak to his father about this eventually, but he really wanted to think on it a little longer. And he really didn't want to see how disappointed his dad would be. Even for Hiccup, refusing dragon training would be a new low.

As Hiccup entered the house as quietly as he could, he saw his father sitting by the fire. Hiccup hoped he could simply sneak upstairs and delay the conversation that would spell the end of any respect and hope for Hiccup that Stoick might have left.

Of course, it's never that simple.

He was already halfway up the stairs when his father let him know he was spotted. A simple "Hiccup," destroyed any hope he had of delaying this conversation.

"Dad!" he said, as he tried to think how to tell his father.

"I... I have to talk to you," Hiccup eventually decided to say, wondering how to phrase this to minimize his chances of immediate exile.

"I need to speak to you too, son," Stoick said. Hiccup was confused by this. Why would his father want to talk to him? Would he get punished for the disastrous adventure with the Monstrous Nightmare last night?

"I decided I don't want to fight dragons," Hiccup said. However Stoick decided to speak at that very moment as well, and neither had heard what the other had said.

"You go first," his father said after a moment of confusion. Hiccup really didn't want to go first. He wanted to delay this for as long as he could, and maybe he wouldn't get exiled if he had already received punishment, albeit for a different crime.

So Hiccup tried to be as persuasive as possible as he said "No, you go first."

It worked, and his father started talking. "Alright, you got your wish. Dragon training. You start in the morning".

 _"Dragoncrap,"_ Hiccup thought, as he realized that that was about the worst thing Stoick could have said to him. Why couldn't he just have been punished, instead of this 'reward'?

 _"Well, this is it,"_ Hiccup thought. _"Moment of truth."_

Because he was standing halfway on the stairs, Hiccup was actually looking down slightly at Stoick, and yet he had never felt so small. "Oh man, I should have gone first. Because... You know... I was thinking. We have a surplus of dragon fighting Vikings. But do we have enough... bread making Vikings? Or small-home-repair Vikings..."

"You'll need this," His father interrupted him by giving him a heavy axe. Because he hadn't expected the extra weight, Hiccup stumbled down the steps, and was now looking up at Stoick, as usual. Stoick gave no indication that he had even heard what Hiccup had said.

Hiccup felt even smaller than before.

"I don't want to fight dragons!" he exclaimed, hoping the blunt approach would work.

And then his father did something he hadn't expected: He laughed. "Oh, come on, yes you do!"

This would be even harder than he had anticipated. "Rephrase: Dad. I can't kill dragons."

"But you will kill dragons," Stoick said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"No, I'm really very extra sure that I won't," Hiccup said, as he tried not to drop the axe.

His father walked up to him. "It's time, Hiccup."

Hiccup had expected many things. He had expected shouting, rage, disappointment. He had expected that his father would be furious after he had listened to Hiccup's words. But he had not expected that his father would simply not listen to him at all.

"Can you not hear me?" Hiccup exclaimed in desperation.

"This is serious, son," Stoick said, now with a hint of anger in his tone. He grabbed the axe out of Hiccup's hands, and held it effortlessly with one hand. "When you carry this axe, you carry all of us with you."

 _"Hmm, maybe that explains why the axe is so heavy,"_ Hiccup couldn't help but think as Stoick gave him the axe back. He almost dropped it again.

"That means you walk like us. You talk like us. You think like us," Stoick said as he tried to move Hiccup's body into a more impressive pose. "No more... this!" Stoick said, vaguely gesturing towards Hiccup.

Hiccup sighed. Well there's nothing new there. "You just gestured to all of me," he said hoping that, for once, some of his words would actually reach his father's brain.

Of course that was too much to hope for, as all his father said was "Deal?".

It didn't feel like a deal. More like an ultimatum. "This conversation is feeling very one-sided," Hiccup said, hoping he might be able to salvage something out of this.

But he was interrupted by another "Deal?" from Stoick.

That was when Hiccup realized it was hopeless. "Deal," he sighed. He supposed he would just have to give dragon training his best shot, and maybe Stoick would pull him out after he had inevitably set the arena on fire.

Stoick seemed a little surprised that Hiccup had actually agreed. He quickly recovered, though, and just said "Good. Train hard. I'll be back. Probably."

Gee, his father wouldn't even be there to see him fail. Hiccup figured he would probably have been eaten by a Gronckle by the time the expedition would return. So he just said "And I'll be here. Maybe," as his father walked away and left the house.

After Stoick had slammed the door shut, in more ways than one, Hiccup decided to go to bed. He was exhausted from all the events of that day. But as he was trying to fall asleep, he couldn't stop thinking about the conversation. It was probably one of the longest conversation Hiccup had had with his father in years, and yet, Stoick hadn't seemed to have heard a word Hiccup had said.

Hiccup had been ready for anger, and for disappointment. But he hadn't expected that his father didn't respect him enough... to believe him. To consider his words valuable enough to listen to. Stoick had thought he was just joking, while Hiccup had never been so serious.

Hiccup's last thoughts before falling asleep were spent wondering if he and Stoick would ever see eye-to-eye with each other. Probably not, Hiccup figured, and then a final thought struck: That Night Fury he met in the forest had actually taken him more seriously than Stoick had. The dragon had actually copied his behavior: Hiccup had freed the dragon, and the dragon had let Hiccup go. But what did it say about him that he seemed to be more in sync with a dragon than with his own father?


	2. Facing Dragons

"Welcome to dragon training," with those words, Gobber opened the gate to the arena.

Astrid realized that more than just the arena was opened. She was walking through the gate to the rest of her life. Inside that arena, she would learn the skills she would need to survive fighting against the dragons. Here, she would kill her first dragon. Here, her journey towards becoming a great warrior would start.

"No turning back," Astrid said, as she walked into the arena. It was a simple ring, with locked gates of various sizes the only thing stopping the dragons inside from attacking them. A net made of heavy chains covered the roof, preventing any dragons from escaping.

"I hope I get some serious burns!" Tuffnut said as they walked towards the center of the ring.

"I'm hoping for some mauling, like on my shoulder or lower back," Ruffnut retorted. The twins always had to one-up each other, Astrid thought. While she knew better than anyone that competition could be beneficial to your performance, the twins often seemed to be more interested in outdoing each other than actually learning the things they needed to get better.

While Astrid was often disturbed by the twins actively seeking out pain, she partly agreed with them about the scars. She knew that all great warriors had scars. Behind every scar was a great story of heroic fights against overwhelming amounts of enemies. Every battle has casualties, and in all the ballads she heard in the Great Hall the heroes had to sacrifice things to achieve victory. She understood that great things often could not be achieved without great loss.

So Astrid said "Yeah, it's only fun if you get a scar out of it."

But then a nasally voice she did not expect replied: "Yeah, no kidding right."

She turned around and there was Hiccup, holding an axe he could barely seem to lift and looking extremely uncomfortable. "Pain. Love it!" he continued in a sarcastic tone.

Astrid was annoyed by his attitude. No one likes pain. Well, maybe the twins do. But pain is a part of dragon training. A part of war. A part of life. So he better get used to it. Also, wasn't he happy to be in dragon training? Yesterday, after the raid, he had made it pretty clear that he wanted to kill dragons, so why did he seem so reluctant now?

"Oh, great. Who let him in?" Tuffnut said what Astrid was wondering as well. Why would Stoick let Hiccup enter dragon training if he didn't even get to join the fire brigade?

But Gobber interrupted her thoughts by explaining that the best recruit would get to kill their first dragon in front of the village. Astrid already knew this, but she hoped the incentive would cause her classmates to take training more serious.

But that was too much to hope for.

"Hiccup already killed a Night Fury. Does that disqualify him, or...?" Snotlout jokingly asked. Hiccup's face fell at that, and the others laughed. Astrid didn't laugh, though. There is no room for laughter or fun on the battlefield, her father always said.

They walked forwards and moved into a line. A few seconds later Hiccup joined them at the very end of the line, and Gobber moved in front of them. Gobber started to list of the dragons they would fight. Annoyingly, Fishlegs started to put weird statistics with each dragon. Astrid didn't see the point of that. What use is assigning a number to a dragons firepower or jaw-strength? On the battlefield you don't have time to do math or think about numbers. All that matters is that you know how to kill it.

Gobber seemed to agree with her. When he got to the last cage, he couldn't stand it anymore and loudly yelled "Can you stop that!" to Fishlegs. He then put his hand on the lever and listed the last dragon: "The Gronckle."

Astrid and Snotlout realized at the same time what Gobber was planning to do. Astrid was eager. She would finally face her first dragon!

Snotlout didn't feel the same way: "Wait, aren't you gonna teach us first?" He asked, voice laced with panic.

Gobber merely smiled, and said "I believe in learning on the job," as he moved the lever down, releasing the dragon.

The teens scattered as the Gronckle charged through their line and hit the opposite wall. "Today is about survival. If you get blasted, you're dead," Gobber continued.

Most teenagers seemed to run in random directions, but Astrid stood her ground. She would show that dragon what she was made of. She had been training her whole life for this, she wouldn't screw it up now. She had never felt so alive.

"Quick, what's the first thing you're going to need?" Gobber asked them.

"A doctor?" Hiccup answered. "plus 5 speed!" Fishlegs yelled.

Astrid couldn't believe it. Did they think this whole thing is a joke? The answer is obvious: "A shield," she said.

"Shields. Go!" Gobber said, and Astrid felt proud that she had been correct. Everyone ran towards the pile of shields, desperate for some protection from the rampaging dragon. Astrid grabbed the first shield she could reach. In the corner of her eye she saw the twins fighting over a shield. She mentally sighed. This was what she meant when she worried about the twins' need to one-up each other. They were surrounded by shields, but they were both too prideful to let go of this one.

They paid the price for that when the Gronckle shot the shield they were fighting over and they were both disqualified by Gobber.

With the twins out, the Gronckle faced the other teens, grouped together in the middle of the arena. "Those shields are good for another thing. Noise. Make lots of it, to throw off a dragon's aim," Gobber told them.

Astrid hadn't known about that, and was glad she got to enter dragon training. There was only so much she could learn by herself while fighting trees in the forest. She immediately adopted the advice, banging her axe to the metal ring around her shield as loud as she could. The others followed suit, though Hiccup seemed to have trouble holding his axe in one hand.

It seemed to work, as the Gronckle seemed to become confused and unfocused. Gobber then asked them about the shot limit of Gronckles. "Five?" Snotlout seemed to madly guess. Fishlegs stopped running from the dragon and confidently said "Six."

However, Fishlegs was punished for forgetting the dragon, as his shield was blasted from his hand as Gobber told him he was correct. Fishlegs promptly ran away screaming.

Astrid quickly looked around. Only Snotlout, Hiccup and she were left. She was surprised that Hiccup had survived this long, but when she saw him, she knew why. He was cowering behind a piece of wooden cover. While she had to admit he was achieving the day's objective of 'survival', there is more to battle than hiding behind a wall! _"Why isn't he flanking the dragon or something?"_ Astrid thought. Hiccup briefly came out when Gobber yelled at him, but immediately jumped back in panic when the Gronckle barely missed him.

With Hiccup back to hiding, the dragon focused on the remaining recruits. Astrid saw it coming towards her, and tried to focus. However, Snotlout decided that this was apparently a good moment to try and make a move on her. "So, I'm moving into my parents' basement. You should come by sometime to work out," he said to her.

Astrid's only reaction was a roll to the side to avoid the incoming dragon. She was disgusted by Snotlout as he kept staring at her instead of the dragon, which took the chance to blast the distracted teen.

Astrid jumped out of her roll and to her feet easily, like she practiced a thousand times. However, she hadn't expected to land next to Hiccup, who had finally gone out of hiding. "So, it's just you and me, huh?" he said. Astrid couldn't believe it. Did none of these people take this seriously?! Why was he standing with her instead of trying to sneak up on the dragon or flanking it? This was not a time to make smalltalk! She hoped Hiccup wasn't trying to hit on her as well.

She saw the Gronckle preparing to attack and jumped out of the way, while telling Hiccup she wasn't interested in any dates he may have to offer: "Nope. Just you."

Hiccup's shield was blasted out of his hands and rolled away. Hiccup immediately started chasing it while the Gronckle followed him. But Hiccup was not as athletic as Astrid and was soon pinned to the wall. Astrid could see the Gronckle preparing its final shot when Gobber intervened. The blast missed Hiccup and Gobber dragged the dragon back to its cage.

Astrid finally relaxed as she realized the session was over, but she didn't drop her weapons like the others did. A true warrior never parts from his weapon, her father always said. Hiccup was still sitting against the wall, breathing heavily.

"You'll get another chance, don't you worry," Gobber told them. "And remember: A dragon will always, _always_ go for the kill."

He turned to Hiccup as he said that, as if he wanted Hiccup to realize how close he had been to death. Yet Hiccup didn't seem terrified. Astrid saw no fear in his eyes, only confusion.

She didn't understand that. Gobber had been clear enough: Dragons always go for the kill. What's there to be confused about? Part of her wanted to tell Hiccup that he should listen to Gobber if he wanted to make it through dragon training, but she didn't. He should figure it out by himself, and she didn't want to be ridiculed by Snotlout for 'helping' Hiccup. As much as Snotlout seemed to be infatuated with Astrid, his hatred of Hiccup seemed to be even greater.

As Hiccup stood up and joined the other teens, Gobber spoke again: "Okay, that's it for today. We'll eat together in the Great Hall tonight as we discuss how we all did. I'll see you there just at sundown."

Astrid was kind of disappointed that it was already over. She had hoped for another try with the dragon, she didn't even get the chance to attack it!

She decided to go to the forest to train. She needed to work on her somersault dive. She mistimed it when she jumped away from Hiccup. Astrid wondered what had gone wrong. She had done that move perfectly a thousand times. It must have been the fact that there was a dragon after her. There was no way that she had been distracted by Hiccup, right?

Well, at least with the way the others had performed Astrid was sure she would get to fight the Nightmare. She just needed to get that somersault right.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------

 _"A dragon will always,_ always _go for the kill."_

That's what Gobber had said, but Hiccup knew it wasn't true. He had experienced firsthand how a dragon had him pinned and then let him go. And that was why Hiccup was back in the forest, looking at the torn up bolas and wondering what was different about the Night Fury.

He knew he shouldn't be out here alone. He should be glad he survived dragon training that morning. Hiccup was still surprised he hadn't been eaten yet. He had made a total idiot of himself in front of Astrid though. He knew he must have looked weak and pathetic, given that he had to be saved by Gobber. But he felt a strange need to come here and seek out answers.

"Why didn't you?" Hiccup asked out loud, wondering if the Night Fury could hear him. It clearly wasn't here anymore, so Hiccup walked in the direction he saw it fly off to after his near-death experience. The dragon's path was not hard to follow. Claw marks covered the boulders around him and trees had been splintered by the dragon's fury.

After following the trail for a few minutes, Hiccup arrived at a narrow hole in the side of a hill. He squeezed through and gasped at the sight. Before him was a beautiful cove. Steep walls shielded the valley from the outside world, and a large lake filled a large part of the cove's surface.

But Hiccup couldn't see the Night Fury anywhere.

"Well, this was stupid," he sighed, as he realized he must have lost the dragon. But then, he noticed something shiny on the ground near his feet. He got to his knees and examined one of the black discs. _"Dragon scales!"_ , Hiccup realized. The Night Fury did pass through here.

A moment later, his hypothesis was confirmed as a loud scream pierced the air and a black shape narrowly missed Hiccup. He fell down and looked up just in time to see the Night Fury trying to maintain a grip on the smooth rock wall. It slid down and glided over the lake to the other side of the cove.

Hiccup was thrilled. _"I found it!"_ he thought as he scrambled to grab his sketchbook and charcoal pen.

He realized this was his chance to learn more about the mysterious dragon. He would be the first to draw the illusive Night Fury!

Hiccup climbed down to the rock below him for a better view and laid down. He saw the dragon repeatedly try to climb its way out of the valley, only to be foiled by the smooth rock walls. Hiccup drew its shape as quickly as he could, marveling at its odd head shape and large wings. He also realized the dragon was a 'he' when he took a closer look. He wondered why it, _he_ , tried so hard to climb out.

"Why don't you just fly away?" Hiccup asked out loud.

When the dragon shot a fireball in frustration, Hiccup realized that his symmetric drawing was wrong. The dragon only had a tail fin on the right side of his body. _"Is that normal?"_ Hiccup wondered as he erased the left tail fin from his drawing.

When the dragon tried to fly again Hiccup suddenly understood everything. While the first part of the flight went well, the moment the Night Fury tried to turn it had crashed. Hiccup also swore he could see wounds where the fin should be. He realized that the bolas must have torn the tail fin off, grounding the dragon and trapping it in this valley.

Hiccup watched as the dragon tried but failed to catch fish in the lake, and wondered how long it would survive like this. He felt guilty. He had cut the ropes thinking the dragon would be free and alive, but instead he had apparently condemned it to starve in this natural prison.

Distracted by his thoughts, Hiccup accidentally dropped the charcoal pen. It fell over the edge of the rock with a loud clatter, and Hiccup tensed as he saw the dragon look towards the noise. He realized that he had been spotted when the dragon's green eyes connected with his own.

And again Hiccup didn't see any fury or hate in the Night Fury's expression. There was distrust, and perhaps a hint of curiosity. Hiccup slowly released the breath he didn't realize he was holding as he understood the dragon wouldn't shoot a fireball at him.

Hiccup slowly got up and gently walked back towards the gap in the hill through which he had entered. He wasn't willing to try his chances. While the dragon wasn't hostile now, how long would it take before he would consider eating Hiccup to quench his hunger?

As he left the valley rain started to fall. Hiccup looked up towards the sky and realized the sun was setting. He remembered he had to meet with Gobber and the other recruits for dinner.

It took Hiccup about an hour of wandering through the forest in pouring rain to find his way back to the village. It was completely dark by now, and Hiccup was surprised to find himself next to the hot springs behind his house. He mentally mapped the way he had walked back from the cove and realized that it couldn't be more than a fifteen minute walk from his house.

Hiccup ran to the great Hall as fast as he could in his soaking wet clothes. As he opened the gate he could hear Gobber asking the others where Astrid had gone wrong. As he walked towards to the table where the teenagers were eating Astrid talked about somersaults and tumbles and more terms Hiccup didn't understand. The others didn't seem to understand her either, as Ruffnut merely offered a sarcastic "Yeah. We noticed," and Snotlout took the opportunity to compliment Astrid again. Only Gobber seemed to be pleased, praising Astrid for her ability to be hard on herself while Hiccup grabbed the remaining plate of food.

He tried to sit down, but Snotlout prevented him from finding a place at the table. Hiccup mentally sighed and moved towards an empty table to sit there alone. Meanwhile Gobber asked the teens what Hiccup did wrong.

They were a lot more vocal about that than they were about Astrid's faults, but it was not very helpful advice, Hiccup couldn't help but think as they offered suggestions such as "He showed up," and "He didn't get eaten," Only Astrid made an attempt at constructive criticism by mentioning "He's never where he should be."

While Gobber thanked Astrid for her contribution to the discussion, Hiccup wondered if Astrid had really meant it seriously. What if she really meant that he shouldn't be in dragon training? Did she think he shouldn't be on Berk?

Before Hiccup's paranoid brain could investigate more possible interpretations of her words Gobber interrupted his thoughts by showing them the dragon manual, telling them they should study it carefully. He then left them alone to figure out how to share the book.

Luckily, that proved not to be hard, as Snotlout and the twins immediately expressed their hatred for reading, while Fishlegs proudly proclaimed he had it pretty much memorized. Hiccup decided not to say anything, happy that the others seemed to have forgotten about him for a moment.

When Snotlout, Fishlegs and the twins left while arguing about the virtues of reading stuff and killing stuff Hiccup was suddenly alone with Astrid. He decided to try and strike a conversation, hoping they could study the book together.

"So, I guess we'll share?" he asked her, but she merely stood up and left while telling him she had already read it. Hiccup felt hurt by her cold attitude, but he was determined to look like he didn't care. So he put on his 'cool face' while saying "Oh wow, all mine then. So I guess I'll see you tomorrow?" when he heard the door slam, and realized he had no chance anyway.

He sighed and prepared himself for another solitary evening reading. He lit a few candles and opened the large book. He read the descriptions for the different dragon classes, and cringed at the drawings of dragons and Vikings killing each other in gruesome ways. He noticed the same instruction was repeated on nearly every page: "Extremely Dangerous. Kill on sight."

As Hiccup continued reading, he felt increasingly sick at the descriptions of the ways dragons hunted, and sometimes even more sick at the tips for killing dragons. Every dragon had the same addendum: "Extremely Dangerous. Kill on Sight". From the massive Monstrous Nightmare to the tiny Terrible Terror, all dragons were lethal monsters, deserving only death.

Hiccup felt pathetic as he thought about how he had failed that simple objective the day before, when he had found the Night Fury trapped in his bolas.

Finally he reached the last page of the book, and was surprised at the scarcity of the page. All that the book had on Night Furies was:

_ Speed: Unknown.  
Size: Unknown.  
The unholy offspring of lightning and death itself.  
Never engage this dragon. Your only chance: Hide and pray it does not find you. _

Hiccup noticed that this was the only page that did not tell the reader to 'kill on sight', but that didn't make him feel better. He only felt more confused about the behavior of the dragon. Why had it not killed him when it had the chance?

Hiccup understood he would learn no more from the dragon manual. He figured he would just have to ask Gobber tomorrow during the next training session.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------

The next day Hiccup walked into the arena with the other teens. But it seemed today's session would be very different from yesterday's. The arena was filled with high wooden walls, creating a maze of sorts. Hiccup wondered if they were being tested in their ability to find their way through the maze. Was it some kind of treasure hunt?

He walked along the edge of the arena when he suddenly spotted Gobber on the spectator's ring above. Gobber seemed to be waiting until everyone had entered the arena to introduce today's challenge. Hiccup figured this was as good a time as any to ask Gobber about Night Furies. He called out: "Hey Gobber, I wanted to ask you something."

Gobber's only response was a quick "Not now, Hiccup" as he peered into the maze. Suddenly, he pulled the lever next to him down, but Hiccup didn't see any result.

He decided he might as well ask: "So... I noticed the book had nothing on Night Furies. So, is there, like, another book, or a sequel? Maybe a little Night Fury pamphlet..."

Hiccup suddenly realized what the lever had done when a shot of dragon fire narrowly missed his head and burned his axe handle. Gobber had secretly released a dragon.

"Focus, Hiccup!" Gobber yelled at him. "You're not even trying."

Hiccup disagreed as he ran as quickly as he could, trying his best not to get scorched by the blue dragon attacking him. At least his weapon was much lighter now that the blade had fallen off.

"Today is about attack! Nadders are quick and light on their feet. Your job is to be quicker and lighter," Gobber told them while Hiccup finally managed to lose his pursuer. The Nadder had seen Fishlegs, and probably thought he was an easier target. Fishlegs certainly wasn't quick or light.

Fishlegs seemed to realize he wasn't going to do well here when he barely managed to deflect the Nadder's spine shot with his shield. Hiccup could hear him yelling angrily at Gobber about his teaching methods.

Gobber explained blind spots when Hiccup decided he might as well try to ask him about Night Furies again. He ran through the maze trying to find a way to Gobber, while he listened to the twins argue about blind spots. He saw Gobber at the same time as he heard the twins scream. Moments later they ran past him, their argument from moments ago forgotten.

"Hey, so, how would one sneak up on a Night Fury?" He asked Gobber.

Gobber's yelled at him "No one's ever met one and lived to tell the tale. Now get in there!"

Hiccup was surprised at Gobber's reaction. He was usually much more patient when Hiccup asked him questions about metalwork in the forge.

"I know, I know, but hypothetically...?" He asked Gobber, but he was interrupted by Astrid shushing him.

She was peering around a corner, while Snotlout was seemed to be focused more on her than on the dragon they could hear nearby. Hiccup immediately obeyed Astrid's command to be silent, and he decided to follow them. He hoped that maybe he could have a chance to impress Astrid.

Both Astrid and Snotlout got to the other side of the opening with a stealthy roll using their shields as leverage. It didn't look very hard to Hiccup, so he tried the same move. However, the shield was harder to move than expected and he got stuck in the middle of his roll.

While in full view of the Deadly Nadder.

He got up and started running in a random direction while fearing every moment could be his last. He could hear the dragon screech above him, but then it got distracted by Snotlout's attempts to hit it with his mace.

Hiccup suddenly saw Gobber above him again, and stopped to ask more questions.

"I was just wondering if you knew anything more about Night Furies?" He asked as he suddenly realized the dragon passed right behind him, charging at Astrid and knocking over the wall next to him.

"Has anyone ever seen one napping?" He continued to ask Gobber while the other teens ran past him, desperate to get away from the rampaging Nadder.

"Hiccup!" Gobber yelled, alerting him to the carnage behind him. He looked around and saw Astrid jumping across the wooden boards, the Nadder hot on her heels. She reached the wall next to him when the dragon charged it, knocking it over.

"Hiccup!" Astrid yelled loudly as she fell. Hiccup ended up lying on the ground with Astrid on top of him, her axe embedded in his shield. She desperately tried to get her axe free while the others joked about it.

"Ooh, love on the battlefield!" Tuffnut said. "She can do better," Ruffnut added.

In any other situation, Hiccup would probably be excited about Astrid lying on top of him and yelling his name. However his brain, already pumped with adrenaline, seemed to shut down when faced with Astrid's furious face inches from his own.

"Here... why don't you... let me..." Was all his mouth could produce, and Astrid decided to take matter into her own hands. She put her boot on his face and used the leverage to wrench the shield off his arm, ignoring his cries of pain. Hiccup saw her eyes widen, as he heard the Nadder charge.

Astrid jumped to her feet and swung her axe at the dragon, the shield still attached. The shield shattered as it connected to the scales on the Nadder's head. The Nadder was stunned for a moment, but then recovered. Astrid raised her axe as the Nadder shot dragon fire at her.

The white-hot dragon fire landed on the left blade of Astrid's axe, producing a sizzling sound as the iron started to melt. Gobber ran in and dragged the dragon to its cage as Hiccup pulled himself to a sitting position.

Hiccup looked up at Astrid and felt even more terrified than when the Nadder had charged him. Her back was facing him, but he could see she was shaking with anger as she looked at her axe, one half still covered in dragon fire. She turned her head slowly to look at him.

"Is this some kind of a joke to you?" She said to him, and the words hurt more than anything his father had ever said. He knew he had seriously screwed up, and now his chances with Astrid had gone from 'maybe if he was the last man on Earth' to 'never'.

"Our parents' war is about to become ours," she continued, as Hiccup was frozen in shame and fear. "Figure out which side you're on," she finished, as she suddenly moved her axe to point towards Hiccup.

But Hiccup never heard that last sentence. He saw Astrid suddenly swing her axe in his direction. As she did so, he saw a large clump of white-hot dragon fire fly from her axe. Straight towards his face.

Astrid's furious expression was the last thing Hiccup registered before he his senses were overwhelmed with pain and heat. His vision was suddenly covered in white spots. But before Hiccup could make sense of what had happened, everything became as black as night.


	3. Cool Scars

Anger.

That was all that Astrid felt as she looked down at her axe. Anger at Hiccup. She was angry that he had not been taking these lessons seriously. Angry that he had been more focused on talking to Gobber than attacking the dragon. Angry that her axe had gotten stuck in Hiccup's shield. Angry that her axe was now melting because of the dragon fire covering half of it.

She turned her head slowly to look at him. He was sitting on the ground, frozen, with a terrified look on his face. Was he not going to apologize? Grab his weapon and shield? Ask for advice? Was he just going to be useless all through dragon training?

"Is this some kind of a joke to you?" She asked him. He didn't reply, but his body moved backwards, apparently trying to get away from her.

"Our parents' war is about to become ours," she continued. He still didn't reply, frozen in fear, staring at her with wide eyes.

"Figure out which side you're on," Astrid said as she moved her axe to point at him. However, the balance of the weapon was different than she was used to, and it moved quicker than she had expected. As she swung the axe, she saw something fly through the air in the corner of her eye, but she didn't understand what it was.

A moment later, Hiccup fell backwards and started screaming.

Astrid didn't understand why, but then she saw a large white spill on Hiccup's face, steam rising from the surface. She looked at her axe, which had the same white-hot dragon fire covering it. Was there less there now than there was a minute ago? None of it made sense, and she couldn't think with Hiccup screaming his lungs out and rolling around on the floor. The other teens seemed to be stunned into silence.

That was the moment that Gobber stepped in.

"Astrid, restrain Hiccup. Make sure he doesn't touch his face or hurts himself," he ordered.

She couldn't comprehend it. None of this made sense. Her axe melting. Dragon Fire. Hiccup screaming. Dragon fire flying from her axe towards Hiccup's face. Her brain seemed to shut down when the realization hit her.

"Astrid! Did you hear me?! Keep Hiccup's arms away from his face!" Gobber yelled at her.

That shook Astrid out of her shock. She dropped her axe and ran over to Hiccup. Hold his arms. She can do that. Hiccup was convulsing on the ground, his hands trying to remove the dragon fire from his eyes but flinching away every time they touched the burning liquid. She grabbed his wrists and pushed them to the ground, keeping away from his legs wildly kicking the air.

"Fishlegs, get Gothi. Bring the medicine bag and the stretcher," she could hear Gobber tell a shaking Fishlegs.

She tried to focus on Gobber's voice instead of the whimpering cries that came from Hiccup's mouth, inches from her own face.

"Ruffnut, Tuffnut, run to the well and get buckets of water. Get back here as soon as you can. Don't blow anything up!" Gobber told the twins.

"I'll be the first to be back!" She could hear Tuffnut say. "No, I'll be back first," Ruffnut countered as they ran out of the arena.

Astrid tried desperately not to listen to Hiccup's soft cries. He seemed to have tired himself out, as his screams died down and his wild convulsions stopped. Astrid looked at Hiccup's thin wrists she was holding in a death grip. For some reason she really didn't want to look at his face.

"Snotlout! Go to the forge and get me a kettle and a sack of coals. I need a fire to boil water here," Gobber told Snotlout.

"Why? It's just stupid Hiccup, how bad could it be?" Snotlout asked in that smug tone she hated. Astrid felt furious at Snotlout. Did he think this was some kind of game?

"Do it now, or I'll expel you from dragon training," Gobber threatened. That seemed to scare Snotlout, as she heard his footsteps move towards the exit of the ring.

"Okay, let's take a look," Gobber said as he sat down next to her. She didn't look at what he did, but suddenly Hiccup cried out. He rolled over onto his stomach, his hands still trapped in Astrid's grip.

"Okay, Astrid, we need to move him onto his back. I need you to hold him as still as possible." Gobber said. She tried to comprehend it, but it was like her brain refused to work. All she could focus on was holding Hiccup's arms down.

"Astrid! Astrid, look at me! Look at me!" Gobber told her. She finally tore her eyes away from Hiccup's wrists and looked into Gobber's eyes.

"Astrid. Listen to me. I need you to do exactly as I say. You can do that, right? Just do exactly as I say. Do you understand?" Gobber asked her, staring into her eyes.

She could do that. She's a soldier, she can follow orders. She just needed to focus on Gobber's orders. "Yes," She said softly.

"Okay then. Astrid, I need you to move Hiccup onto his back and keep him as still as possible, okay? Sit on him or something. Just hold him still. I'm going to find some supplies," Gobber told her as he stood up.

 _"Okay, you can do that. You can do that. Just stay calm,"_ she kept telling herself. Astrid released Hiccup's wrists and moved her hands to his shoulder and hip. She gripped his fur vest and rolled him over. Aside from some shivering he was as limp as a ragdoll. She sat down on his stomach, facing his chest. Her hands once again grabbed his wrists and held them above his head.

Now she had no choice but to look at his face, and she gasped at what she saw. White-hot dragon fire covered his eyes and the surrounding skin. She couldn't see his eyes or his eyebrows. Some of his hair was singed and charred. The skin at the edges of the fire spill seemed to be bright red. She could see wisps of steam rising from his skin, and the heat of the dragon fire was making her sweat.

 _"You did this."_ The thought filled her brain. She couldn't deny it. Where else could the dragon fire have come from? The Nadder had already been restrained by Gobber. The only place the fire could have come from was her axe. The axe that she had swung in his direction.

She felt sick. She never meant for this to happen. She didn't want to hurt Hiccup! She knew she had been angry, but at that moment she couldn't even remember what she had been angry about.

All the anger seemed to have been replaced by shame, and guilt, and fear. She was overwhelmed with panic. What had she done? What would the other teens say when they realized this was Astrid's fault? What would the villagers say? How would Stoick react? What would her parents think of her?

Suddenly Astrid remembered what her mother had told her before she left: _"Promise me you won't maim your classmates in frustration,"_ Had she maimed Hiccup? He would probably have scars.

She thought back on the first dragon training class. She remembered saying _"It's only fun if you get a scar out of it."_ Hiccup didn't look like he was having fun.

That thought seemed to snap something in her. She could feel her stomach convulsing, and she threw up, the vomit landing next to Hiccup's head.

Her vision became blurry, and she realized her eyes were filling with tears. "It's just because of the heat. Or because you became sick," she told herself. Her father always told her real warriors never cry. She moved her arms to grab his two thin arms with her right hand, and wiped at the tears with her left hand.

Hiccup hadn't reacted to her nearly vomiting all over him. She wondered if he had passed out. He was still moaning, and he kept trying to remove his arms from her grip. She could feel his legs twitching behind her. She hoped he wouldn't remember the pain.

"Did Useless actually throw up as well? He's even weaker than I thought!" Her head whipped up and she saw Snotlout standing a few feet away. He was carrying a black kettle in one hand and was holding a sack of coal over his shoulder. He looked like he was about to laugh.

Astrid didn't understand why. Hiccup lying there was probably the least funny thing she had ever seen.

"Thank you, Snotlout. You can go now," Gobber said as he came back from the back of the arena, several pieces of cloth in his good hand.

"Aww, but I want to fight more dragons!" Snotlout whined. "Just because Hiccup's out doesn't mean class is over, right?"

"Snotlout, go home. Now," Gobber said in an icy voice. A voice she had never heard him use before. She had never seen him so angry.

"Okay, okay. Gee, just because Hiccup is the chief's son class apparently starts and stops with him," she could hear Snotlout mutter as he stomped out of the arena.

Gobber sighed deeply as he picked up the supplies Snotlout had left. She saw him looking at Hiccup, and she knew he had seen the vomit. But Gobber didn't comment on it. He opened the bag of coals and piled them up a few yards away. He took a piece of flint from his pocket and lit the coal, starting a small fire, before placing the kettle on top of it.

"See, I got back first!" Astrid looked up when she heard the male twin enter the arena. Both twins were carrying a large bucket.

"No, I got back first!" Ruffnut countered. "Also, I want to see Hiccup's scars first!"

"No, I get to see them first. I called dibs on serious burns yesterday!" Tuffnut yelled at her as he put his bucket down, a small amount of water spilling over the side.

"No one gets to Hiccup's scars yet. You should go home now," Gobber tried to tell them.

"What, that's boring! We don't want to go home, we want to see scars and burns!" Tuffnut yelled as he tried to look around Astrid's arms shielding Hiccup's face from his staring.

"Okay, why don't you see which of you two can run to your house faster?" Gobber asked them.

Surprisingly, it worked. The twins started running out of the arena, arguing all the way.

Astrid wondered why she had been so angry with Hiccup not taking training seriously, when Snotlout and the twins seemed to be even worse. Didn't they understand how serious this situation is? Didn't they understand Hiccup was badly hurt? Did they just not care? Astrid couldn't make sense of it.

While she was pondering this, Gobber poured the contents of one bucket into the kettle. He then grabbed the other one with his hook, and moved next to Hiccup, opposite the pool of vomit.

Gobber then addressed her again: "Astrid, I'm going to clean the wounds. I will have to pour this water onto Hiccup's face to wash the dragon fire away, do you understand?" When she nodded, he continued.

"You will need to keep Hiccup very still. This will hurt him, but he needs to remain as still as possible, understand? I need you to hold his head. His head is not allowed to move".

Astrid briefly considered this. If she needed to hold his head, she would need to release his arms. She moved his arms down and placed her knees on top of them while remaining seated on his stomach. She place her hands on both sides of Hiccup's head, covering his ears.

"I'm ready," she said, trying to ignore the fact that her hands were shaking.

Gobber picked up the bucket, holding the handle with his hook while supporting it with his good hand. He gently poured a small amount of cold water on the dragon fire.

Hiccup's reaction was immediate.

He started screaming and thrashing, nearly throwing Astrid off his chest, but she held firm. She had to be strong now. She could do that. She could be strong. He tried to shake his head and bash it against the ground, but she kept it in an iron grip, her hands no longer shaking.

As Gobber continued to wash the dragon fire away, she caught a glimpse of charred skin. Astrid closed her eyes. She was terrified of seeing the damage, seeing the result of what she had done to him.

But she couldn't block out Hiccup's screams. His words were incomprehensible, but she figured he was begging for the pain to stop. However, Astrid could also imagine an accusation in the screams. _"You did this!"_ Hiccup seemed to tell her with every cry that left his mouth.

She couldn't ignore her other senses either. She could feel hot steam rising past her face. And the smell... She had never smelled a more revolting smell. She smelled smoke, and charred meat, and puke. It took all her willpower not to gag or cough. She tasted blood, and realized she was biting her lip.

She could hear Gobber swear loudly beside her as he stopped pouring water. Hiccup's struggles ceased, and his screams once again made way for soft moaning. Gobber set the bucket down and she heard something falling into it. A few drops of cold water landed on her hand, and by reflex she opened her eyes.

She immediately wished she hadn't.

Before her was the most horrible thing she had ever seen. Hiccup's face... It could hardly be called a face anymore. The skin around his eyes was charred red and black, with streaks of a sickly white color running through it. His eyebrows were gone, consumed by fire. His upper nose was burnt as well. The black skin stood in sharp contrast with the paleness in the rest of his face. And his eyes...

She had always liked Hiccup's eyes. They were always full of life and wonder, the forest green always sparkling whenever she saw him hammering something in the forge.

They were gone.

Where his eyes should be was nothing left but two holes, filled with a strange whitish tissue, covered with black spots. His eyelids were burned away.

She felt like she was going to throw up again. Her breathing became erratic as the full extent of the damage hit her. Hiccup's eyes were gone. Half his face was gone. He would be blind. There was no hope that Gothi could possibly repair this.

Gobber lifted a piece of cloth from the bucket, and began to gently rub Hiccup's wounds with it. Hiccup twitched every time the wet cloth touched the burns, and his moans grew louder. He tried to swat Gobber away, but his arms were still trapped under Astrid's knees, and all he could do was pound his fists against the stone floor.

"We're back! Gothi is here!" She suddenly heard Fishlegs' voice enter the ring and she looked around, eager for anything that would free her from looking at Hiccup's face. She saw Fishlegs carrying a stretcher under his left arm, a big bag in his right. Gothi walked beside him, leaning on her staff. Gobber stood up as they walked towards Hiccup.

"Gothi, we need to sedate Hiccup. Do you have those herbs with you?" Gobber asked. Gothi nodded and opened the medicine bag and grabbed some green herbs. She walked over to Hiccup, and Astrid saw a look of shock on the old woman's face when she took her first look at Hiccup. It lasted only a second, then Gothi's face became her usual stoic expression.

She sat down beside Hiccup and held the herbs under his nose. Then she used her other hand to crush the plants, and Astrid could barely smell a sweet smell amid the smoke that made her feel lightheaded. After a few seconds, Hiccup finally went still and his moans stopped.

Astrid felt relieved that Hiccup was finally completely unconscious, and she released his head. "Thank you, Gothi. Astrid, you can get up now. Please stay here, though, I'll need your help in a minute," Gobber told her as he sat down next to Gothi.

Astrid felt her muscles protest as she finally stood up. She took a few steps when she heard a loud gasp. She turned around and saw Fishlegs breathing erratically as he stared at Hiccup's head, no longer blocked by Astrid. "You... He... What... He's..." was all his mouth produced as his breathing accelerated.

"Astrid, can you take care of Fishlegs?" Gobber asked her while he grabbed the kettle with now boiling water.

She walked towards Fishlegs. "Come on, Fishlegs. Let's go," she said to him, but he didn't respond. On any other day she would have hit him, but now she felt like all her anger had been sucked away. She felt drained and exhausted.

Astrid grabbed his shoulders and managed to turn him around. She gently pushed him towards the edge of the arena, away from the body he couldn't seem to stop staring at. He let himself get lead away, and they sat down on a piece of wood, a remnant from the training session that had taken place less than an hour before. It felt like that was a lifetime ago.

"He... His eyes! They were destroyed!" Fishlegs managed to say in between his gasps for air.

Astrid had no idea how to deal with Fishlegs. It was all she could do not to break down and cry herself.

"I know, Fishlegs, I know," she said softly.

"It... This shouldn't have happened! It wasn't safe..." Fishlegs' voice became increasingly higher and Astrid saw tears falling from his eyes.

"This is Gobber's fault!" He suddenly yelled. Gobber briefly looked up from the bandages he was applying to shoot a confused glance at Fishlegs.

"You, with your 'Learning on the Job'! It's your fault Hiccup wasn't prepared for facing a Nadder!" Fishlegs cried, raising his arm to point at Gobber. "He wasn't ready to face a dragon with Fire Heat 20! None of us were!" Fishlegs broke down crying, and he buried his head in his hands.

"No, Fishlegs, no!" Astrid tried to reason with him. "It isn't Gobber's fault, Fishlegs! And it wasn't your fault, or Hiccup's, or even the dragon's".

"It was my fault," she admitted, as much to herself as to Fishlegs. "I shouldn't have freaked out at him. And now..." Her voice trailed off. She didn't know what was going to happen now. Would she be punished? Exiled? Executed?

No! She couldn't think about that. She needed to focus on the here and now, and right here was a crying classmate who needed her guidance.

Fishlegs hadn't reacted to her admission, and simply continued to cry. "Come on, Fishlegs, don't cry!" She pleaded. "You should go home. Go away from here," she pleaded with him. She stood up and held out her hand to Fishlegs. Eventually, his sobbing seemed to lessen, and he looked up with wide eyes. He took her hand, and she helped him stand up.

He let her guide him to the exit of the arena, remaining silent the whole way there.

When they reached the exit, she faced him again. "Just go straight home, okay? It will be okay," She told him, as she tried to produce a smile. He simply nodded his head and slowly walked out, shoulders slumped downward.

Astrid sat down again, trying not to think of anything while Gothi and Gobber continued to treat Hiccup's wounds. She had never felt so empty, and she could barely comprehend that only yesterday she had been so excited for dragon training. She thought back on the previous day, and Hiccup's sarcastic comments about pain. He didn't seem to want to be in dragon training. And now...

Now he had scars, to put it mildly.

She thought back on what she used to believe: That behind every scar there was a heroic tale of great battles and horrible foes, vanquished only with great strength. What was the tale behind Hiccup's scars? A stupid training accident, a hot-headed girl who thought she was such a great warrior. There was no heroic battle, no valiant last stand. No evil giants or dragon raids. A moment of rage, that was all it was. A moment of rage and an axe covered in dragon fire.

She felt weak and pathetic. How had she dared to dream she was some legendary warrior, destined for greatness? The only thing she was apparently destined to do was maiming sarcastic boys.

"Astrid!" Gobber interrupted her thoughts. "We're done treating Hiccup, for now. I need your help to move him on the stretcher and carry him to his house. Can you help me with that?"

She slowly stood up, and walked over to Hiccup. She quickly glanced at his face, and was relieved to see the burns and those horrible eyes were covered in clean white bandages. She grabbed Hiccup's feet, while Gobber took his shoulders, hook under one armpit.

"Okay, on one, two, three!" Together they moved Hiccup onto the stretcher lying next to him. He didn't react, still sedated. He almost looked like he was sleeping, were it not for his charred bangs and the bandages around his head.

Astrid grabbed her end of the stretcher, and they lifted Hiccup into the air. They started walking, Gobber in front, Gothi walking beside the stretcher, medicine bag in hand. They continued in silence, until they had crossed the bridge connecting the arena with the rest of the village. There they stopped briefly, as Gobber thanked Gothi for her help, and said goodbye. Astrid remained silent. All this felt... unreal somehow. Like it wasn't really happening to her, but to someone else. Like it was just a strange dream she would soon wake up from. But she knew this wasn't a dream.

Gothi started walking towards her own home, and Astrid and Gobber continued on towards the chief's house. She tried not to look at Hiccup lying before her, his pale face as white as the bandages.

After a few minutes they reached the house on the hill, and Gobber opened the door. "Upstairs," he said, waving his hook towards the stairs. Astrid followed him, trusting his directions. Gobber was a good friend of Stoick, and he probably visited the house pretty often. She briefly wondered if that would change now that Hiccup had been hurt while in Gobber's class.

She lifted the stretcher above her head to keep it level as she and Gobber slowly ascended the stairs. They laid the stretcher next to the bed, and moved Hiccup onto it. Gobber sighed deeply and faced her.

"Thank you for your help today, Astrid. I would like to ask you to come back here tonight. Hiccup will wake up then and I would rather not be here alone. I also need to discuss some other things with you. Please come here just after sunset. Also, if you see the other teens, tell them there will be no class tomorrow. We will still meet for dinner on the watchtower tomorrow night, though," He told her.

She simply nodded, without looking at Gobber. She was afraid of how he would look at her. Is he angry? Disappointed? She walked past him towards the stairs.

"Astrid," Gobber called after her. She looked back, and was surprised to see no anger in Gobber's face. There was only sadness in his eyes. Gobber seemed to hesitate, seemingly unsure of what he wanted to say. "Take care," he eventually said with a thick voice, and turned back towards Hiccup.

As Astrid walked down the stairs, she thought about what might have been the strangest sight she had seen all day, apart from Hiccup's injuries. Had she just seen Gobber cry? That couldn't be. Gobber was a strong Viking, and strong Vikings don't cry. But as she felt tears stinging her eyes, she remembered she had once thought she was a strong Viking as well.

She ran out of the front door of the house, hoping that if she got far away from Hiccup, maybe she would stop feeling so weak.


	4. Broken Blades and Broken People

Astrid ran out of Hiccup's house, feeling numb and overwhelmed at the same time. Tears stung at her eyes, but she refused to let them fall. She wouldn't cry. There was no reason to cry. She was a strong Viking warrior. She couldn't let what had happened stand in the way of that. So what if she had hurt someone? It didn't mean her athletic skill or her dragon-killing abilities were worse than they were yesterday!

She just needed to stop thinking about what happened. About... what she'd done to Hiccup. There was no point in thinking about it. Yes, Hiccup may be... blind, but that didn't affect her. It wouldn't affect her. She just needed to focus on training, like she had always done.

She ran in the direction of the forest, but when she left the last houses behind, Astrid realized she was missing something. She had left her axe in the ring. She had dropped it just after...

 _"No! Don't think about it!"_ she told herself. As long as she didn't think about it, it wouldn't affect her.

She focused on somersaults and other acrobatic moves as she ran towards the arena. The gates were still open. Gobber had forgotten to close them after they left with Hiccup.

She walked into the kill ring and spotted her axe. She ran over there, but when she reached it, her eyes were drawn to the vomit stain a few yards away. The evidence of her weakness. There were signs of what had happened all around her. Discarded bandages littered the ground. The remnants of the fire Gobber had build were visible a few yards away, the kettle still next to it. Next to the dried vomit she could see small scorch marks on the floor, where drops of dragon fire had fallen during Hiccup's thrashing.

Her axe was the worst of all. One side was still completely normal, but the other blade was almost unrecognizable. The iron had partially molten, warping the shape. It had long gashes and ridges where molten iron had seeped through. The sharp edge was completely gone, having caught the worst of the dragon fire. She could see shining drops of metal on the floor nearby. The axe was lighter than she remembered, and the balance was off.

As Astrid was looking at the axe that had been her constant companion for years she couldn't stop the memories of what she had done to Hiccup. It replayed over and over in her head. Hiccup's terrified expression as she yelled at him. The ease with which she moved her axe. The dragon fire flying through the air.

Hiccup's scream.

Hiccup's burned out eyes.

No matter how hard she tried to not think about them, to banish them from her mind, those images kept repeating in her head. She had to get away from here. She put her axe on its usual place on her back, ignoring the way the molten blade pressed into her skin. She closed her eyes and ran towards the exit of the arena, towards the forest.

Maybe if she trained as hard as she could, things would go back to normal.

She reached her usual spot in the forest, the trees surrounding her scarred with gashes from her trusty axe.

 _"Like Hiccup has been scarred by your axe,"_ the thought sprang into her mind without warning, but she immediately squashed it. She couldn't think about Hiccup. She just needed to train.

She grabbed her axe and took her 'battle-ready' stance, her knees slightly bent, her axe behind her in one hand. She screamed and jumped forward. She swung her axe and threw it towards the tree in front of her.

The axe missed the tree, going further to the right than she had planned. Astrid was confused. She hadn't had such a miss in years. She picked up her axe and threw from a standing position, but she missed again.

Astrid was getting annoyed now. She hadn't thrown this bad in a long time. It had to be because of the ruined balance of the axe. After a few more tries she gave up on axe trowing. She put the axe back in its holster, refusing to look at it. Frustrated, she sat down on a fallen tree and took some bread from her pouch. She began eating her makeshift lunch, not tasting a single bite.

She felt angry, and she couldn't help but start thinking again. Why did this have to happen to her axe? Now she couldn't practice her combat skills! What if she got rusty because of that, and failed in dragon class? It was all Hiccup's fault. Because of him she couldn't concentrate, her axe was ruined, and she was unable to train. Why did he have to be in dragon training anyway? He was the most useless recruit ever. He didn't pay attention, didn't look where he was going, and he could barely lift his weapon.

And besides, it wasn't her fault it happened. It was an accident, she hadn't meant to hurt Hiccup!

 _"But whose fault is it, then?"_ the question sprang into her mind as she put the last piece of bread in her mouth and stood up. She couldn't find an answer for that. She wanted to blame Hiccup, or Gobber, or anyone else.

But she couldn't deny the fact that she was the one who had swung the axe.

As she began doing her warming up exercises, Astrid thought about all the things her father always said, all the advice he had given her, all those lessons on what warriors do and don't do. If he were here he would probably tell her to toughen up and move on. Real warriors don't cry. Feelings are for the weak.

So Astrid tried not to feel anything as she practiced all her athletic moves. There was nothing but her, and her training. She refused to think of anything besides how to move her limbs, refused to sense anything but the grass on her hands as she did somersaults, refused to see anything but the ground in front of her.

And most of all she refused to acknowledge how uncomfortable the new shape of her axe felt on her back.

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After several hours of jumps, leaps and push-ups Astrid walked back to the village. She finally felt normal again, the feelings of exhaustion and muscle ache reminding her of how things were before it happened. She could see the sun was about to set, and remembered her appointment with Gobber. She was supposed to meet him just after sunset.

Astrid figured she had some time to get dinner from the Great Hall before she went over to Hiccup's house. She briefly wondered what Gobber wanted to talk to her about, but she refused to continue that train of thought.

 _"You'll just drive yourself crazy if you keep thinking about it! Just think about eating!"_ she told herself as she opened the gates of the Great Hall.

She saw the other teens sitting nearby, and walked over to sit with them. She noticed that Fishlegs still looked miserable, but at least he wasn't crying anymore. The twins were holding an arm wrestling competition, while Snotlout told them he could beat them both of them easily.

As Astrid sat down at the end of the table, Ruffnut slammed Tuffnut's fist down, and cheered in victory. Tuffnut immediately accused her of cheating, saying the table was made for girls.

"If that's so, why didn't you win?" Ruffnut asked him with a haughty tone.

Astrid decided to interrupt them before one of them would flip the table over. "Isn't dinner ready yet?" She asked the others.

"No, apparently all of the Vikings who can cook went with the expedition, and now it's taking the rest of them forever to roast a simple yak!" Snotlout said angrily.

This talk of dinner reminded Astrid of the message Gobber had given her. "Gobber told me to tell you guys that we'll have dinner together on the watchtower tomorrow. He also said that there would be no dragon training tomorrow morning," Astrid told the teenagers.

"What! No class tomorrow? Awesome!" the twins exclaimed in tandem as they banged their helmets together, their argument apparently forgotten.

"No, that's not awesome. Why is there no class tomorrow? Is it because of Hiccup?" Snotlout demanded to know.

Astrid noticed that Fishlegs looked relieved. "I guess," she said. "Hiccup needs to recover, and Gobber needs to watch him for now."

"What?! That's ridiculous! Why does Gobber need to watch Hiccup? Isn't our class more important than that loser?" Snotlout exclaimed, slamming his fist on the table.

Astrid was shocked. She didn't care much for Hiccup either, and she wasn't happy class was canceled, but Hiccup was seriously injured.

"Because Hiccup is lucky to be alive, and needs help to recover, Snotlout!" She said in a cold tone, trying to ignore the images of Hiccup's face flashing before her eyes as she remembered how serious his injuries were.

"Why should he need to recover? Why does he have to ruin everything for us as well? He was already useless, and now he will be even more useless," Snotlout stated.

Astrid was disgusted. Hiccup was his cousin, for Thor's sake! Doesn't he care at all about his well-being? But before she could formulate an answer, Fishlegs suddenly started talking.

"That's true. Based on what I saw, I estimate there is a 99.9 percent chance that Hiccup will be permanently without sight, as well as a 97.6 percent chance of severe permanent thermal scarring. This will decrease his dexterity by 3, his charisma by 8, and his perceptiveness by 22," Fishlegs said with a shaking voice.

"What did any of that mean?" Ruffnut asked after a moment of shocked silence.

"It means Hiccup will be blind and scarred, and it will decrease his ability to function," Fishlegs said, looking miserable and scared.

"What! He actually got burn scars?" Tuffnut shouted angrily. "Why, that little... I called dibs on burns."

"You'd also want to be blind?" Astrid asked, shocked by his callous reaction.

"Yes! Maybe... Would that make it easier to prank people? It will be easier to prank Hiccup now!" Tuffnut responded happily.

"Aww, but Hiccup was already so easy to prank," Ruffnut said with a sad look on her face. "What a waste."

"Are you serious?" Astrid asked the twins. "You want to prank Hiccup after what he just went through?"

"Why not, Astrid?" Snotlout suddenly spoke up again. "What's wrong with picking on Hiccup? He was already the perfect target, and now he'll be even more defenseless! Also, I guess he can't be chief now that he's blind, right Fishy?" He looked at Fishlegs, who gave a hesitant nod. "That means I'll be the heir, which means I can do what I want."

Astrid wasn't sure how to respond. She felt like she should defend Hiccup, but she was scared that Snotlout and the twins would think she was weird or weak, helping Hiccup. Before she could figure out what to do, the doors at the back of the hall opened.

"Finally! The food's ready!" Snotlout said, standing up and walking towards the yak meat that was being carried in.

Astrid felt hungry, but all her appetite left her when she smelled the meat. Hiccup's disfigured face appeared before her eyes as she smelled the same thing she smelled that morning. The charred yak smelled almost identical to the smoke that had come from Hiccup's face as Gobber washed the dragon fire away.

Astrid tried not to breathe in as her stomach clenched. She closed her eyes, but Hiccup's black face refused to disappear. She swore she could hear Hiccup's screams again, echoing in her mind.

She had to get out of here. "I... I have to see Gobber," She told the others. As fast as she could without arousing suspicion, Astrid stood up from the table and walked towards the exit. When she walked outside the setting sun shone right into her eyes, and for a moment she was blind.

Disoriented, she forgot about the stairs. As she walked forwards, her foot suddenly stepped on nothing at all, and she stumbled. She felt weak as she fell back into a sitting position on the highest step.

 _"That's what Hiccup will feel like for the rest of his life,"_ the thought came without warning, as she tried her best not to throw up her lunch. Shaking, she stood up again.

 _"And it's your fault. You did this to him,"_ She could't deny it. She had permanently disfigured and handicapped him.

In that moment the aroma of charred meat wafted out of the open doors of the Hall, and what was left of Astrid's self control was swept aside as the memories flooded her mind. She ran towards the side of the stairs just in time as she threw up again, the vomit landing in a nearby bush. She couldn't stop the tears from falling now, as she felt more guilty than she ever had.

She ran towards her own house as fast as she could, hoping no one had seen her cry. She took the stairs towards her room two at a time, and fell onto her bed. She winced as her back hit something hard, and she realized she was still carrying her axe.

She took the axe from its holster and held it in her hands. She looked at the ruined blade, and felt disgusted by herself. How could she have been so angry at Hiccup this afternoon over a damaged axe? The axe could be repaired or replaced. But Hiccup's eyes or skin, those could never be replaced. As she put the axe on its usual mount on the wall, she felt a little better now that she didn't have to touch the weapon that had disfigured Hiccup anymore.

She decided to leave her axe here, and go meet Gobber. Astrid hoped that he wouldn't notice she had cried.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------

When Astrid hesitantly opened the door to Hiccup's house she could smell vegetable stew. The smell made her stomach growl, reminding her that she had not eaten dinner and had, in fact, expelled her food twice that day.

"Ah, Astrid, there you are. You're a bit early. Couldn't stay away from Hiccup, huh?" Gobber said with a grin as he spotted her. He was standing by the fire pit in the center of the room, stirring in the kettle of stew. She slowly walked inside and stood near the stairs, unsure of what to say.

"Don't just stand there. Sit down!" Gobber told her, gesturing to the dining table near the back of the room.

"Okay," she softly said as she walked towards the nearest chair and gently sat down on it. She suddenly realized that she was sitting under the loft, and that Hiccup was probably lying unconscious just above her head. The thought made her feel ill again.

"You look a bit faint, Astrid. Have you eaten yet?" Gobber asked her with a gentle tone she hadn't expected from him. He was always the cheery, loud blacksmith. She had never seen this... serious, gentle side of him.

"I haven't. I was going to eat in the Great Hall, but they were serving charred meat, and I..." She stopped herself there. She didn't want Gobber to know that she had become sick again.

Gobber looked confused for a few seconds, but then an understanding look came over his face, and he softly nodded. "I understand. I hope a stew will agree better with your stomach?" He said to her as he grabbed a bowl from a nearby cupboard.

Astrid could feel her face become red when she realized Gobber knew what had happened. She hoped Gobber couldn't see the blush as he walked over and put a bowl of thick stew in front of her.

She softly thanked him and began eating as he walked back and grabbed another bowl for himself. With a great sigh, he sat himself down in the chair opposite hers.

"Astrid... I know you're probably embarrassed about what happened at the Great Hall, and earlier in the ring," Astrid ducked her head as she remembered throwing up next to Hiccup.

"But that is a normal reaction. I know Hiccup's not the prettiest right now, and it's normal to need new undies when you see something like that for the first time," Gobber said with a faint smile.

Astrid wasn't sure how to respond. She knew that she didn't just become sick because of how horrible Hiccup looked. When she was totally honest with herself, she had to admit she was mostly sick of her own actions, actions that caused such a terrible thing to happen. But how could she explain that to Gobber?

Gobber sighed when she didn't respond. "Astrid. Let me tell you about my first raid. Is that okay?"

She nodded as she took another bite of stew, savoring the carrots she could taste in it.

"I was just a wee lad, about your age. I had just come out of dragon training. I didn't get to kill the dragon, another kid called Phelm won that honor, but I like to think I was reasonably good at fighting dragons."

"Phelm, me and the others were eager for a new raid, hoping we could win honor by fighting in a real battle," Astrid couldn't help but smile, knowing how similarly she felt.

"So, about a month after we got out of training, we were woken by the horns. A dragon raid, we thought. A chance for glory! At that age you don't think battle is anything but glory. So I grab my trusty sword, put my red undies on, and ran outside. Almost immediately I spot Phelm. You see, we were buddies of sorts, we worked together a lot in training. So we decided we would team up and face the raid together. Us against the world, you know?

Well, we start moving towards the farms, fighting off a pack of Gronkles trying to take our sheep, when the catapults start firing. You have to know, Astrid, back then we didn't shoot big rocks with the catapults. We shot piles of sharp rocks, leftover spearheads, iron nails, that kind of stuff. The idea was that we could tear holes in the dragons' wings, grounding them.

So, Phelm and I are running in the fields when a Zippleback attacked one of the catapult towers. We suddenly heard a big boom as the gas explodes, and we look around to see the tower tilting, the catapult about to fall off. It's still loaded, and suddenly it goes off, just like that. And we just see that rain of nails and pointy things coming our way."

Gobber sighed deeply, and Astrid could see a distant look in his eyes, like he was seeing something that was thousands of miles away. She scooped up the last bit of stew from her bowl and ate it.

"I manage to hit the ground just in time, but when I get back up, I see Phelm lying there. His belly is cut open, and his guts are just... spilling out of the gashes. His guts themselves are cut apart, and the most horrid stuff is leaking out. He's still conscious, and he has this surprised, unbelieving look on his face as he looks down. I run towards him, and try to apply what medicine I could, but it was no use."

Gobber took a very deep breath, apparently trying to compose himself. He seemed to be talking more to himself than to Astrid by this time, and just stared at the table.

"In a few minutes he was dead. The best dragon fighter I had ever known, and he was dead in his first raid. I couldn't get the images out of my head for months. Hel, I couldn't even see sausages without puking all over myself, because they looked so much like his guts."

Astrid had been holding in her breath, recognizing what Gobber was talking about. She was glad she had finished the stew before the story had reached this point, though.

"We don't teach you that in dragon training. We can't. You can't prepare for that. You can only learn from that horrible experience when it comes. And then, all you can do is change your undies and keep going."

"It gets better, though. I promise you that, Astrid. Every battle, every wound, you become more accustomed to it. I mean, look at me. Today I didn't even flinch when Hiccup got hit, right?"

Astrid wasn't sure if Gobber was right. Maybe it got easier to see injuries, but what if she was the one who had caused the injury? Could she live with that?

"At least Hiccup isn't dead," she finally said with a soft voice. "But... he's blind. And is that so much better?" She wondered aloud.

Gobber sighed. "That was the other thing I wanted to talk to you about. Let's go upstairs, Hiccup will wake up any moment now."

They walked upstairs in silence. Gobber sat down on the edge of Hiccup's bed, while Astrid sat on Hiccup's chair, next to his desk. She looked at the desk, and she saw all kinds of drawings and diagrams. She gasped as she looked at them. Beautiful drawings of houses, detailed schematics for some kind of watermill, and more things she couldn't even comprehend. He has an eye for detail, Astrid couldn't help but note.

 _"Had an eye for detail, you mean,"_ she couldn't help but think. She felt even more guilty now, knowing that he could never see these drawings again. He would never be able to draw anything again.

"Astrid, I want to talk about what happened today," Gobber suddenly spoke, and she faced him. She could see Hiccup on the bed behind him, still in the position they left him that morning.

Gobber took a deep breath, apparently choosing his next words very carefully. "Astrid. Do you know that the dragon fire came from your axe?"

She nodded. She had realized that almost immediately.

"Do you understand what today's... incident will mean for Hiccup's life? He won't be able to read or write, he won't be able to draw, he won't be able to use the smithy on his own, maybe not even with assistance. He probably won't even be able to cook, or sail a boat. He definitely won't be able to fight. He can't participate in dragon training anymore. Do you understand what that means, Astrid?"

If she was honest, she hadn't even really thought about that yet. Her head had been so full with her own guilt and the superficial wounds, that she hadn't considered what it would truly mean for Hiccup's life.

"He won't be able to do most jobs. He can't be chief. He will never be able to live on his own," Astrid slowly said.

"Yes," Gobber responded. "And do you understand that that is partly your fault? I know you probably didn't want any of this to happen, but it did, and it did because of your actions. Do you agree with that?"

This was the thing she had been thinking about for most of the day. And she couldn't deny it anymore. Whichever way she looked at it, it all came back to her swinging that axe. "Yes," she said, wondering what her punishment would be.

"Well, it's good that you acknowledge that, Astrid. Many people would deny it. Now, it's not for me to say what will happen now. Your final punishment will be decided by the chief, when he returns. There will be a public trial. I'm not going to lie to you, Astrid. There is a serious possibility you will be exiled, or be forced to endure a serious injury yourself, like branding or whipping."

She shivered at that thought. She'd never thought she would ever get scars from anything other than fighting dragons.

Gobber apparently saw her shiver, and continued to talk. "I want to make sure you understand how serious this is, Astrid. You didn't commit murder, but it's very close. You have disabled the chief's heir for life. That means that you owe a life debt to him. Your life is in his hands."

Gobber sighed. "Now Astrid, I'll be honest. I don't want to see you exiled or hurt. I think you'd make a great warrior someday, and I think Berk could use you. But I don't get to decide the punishment. So, all I can do is give you advice."

"I'd advice you to help Hiccup adjust to his new life. Because honestly, I think the only way you could calm Stoick's rage is by showing him that you can still be a valuable member of this community. So perform well in dragon training, but also help Hiccup. Show that you are a great warrior, but also a great Viking."

Astrid thought about this. Could she do that? Should she really help Hiccup? Would he even want her to? She was still thinking about it when a moan interrupted her thoughts.

Gobber stood up from the bed to face Hiccup, who was now slowly stirring. "Astrid, I think it's best if you go now. I don't think it's wise if he waked up to the person that caused him this injury."

She was surprised at being so suddenly dismissed. "Okay?" She hesitantly said.

"Oh, Astrid, one more thing. Can you come over here in the morning and bring Hiccup to Gothi? His bandages will have to be replaced, and I guess it will be a good way to start helping him adjust, okay?"

Take Hiccup to Gothi. She can do that. She nodded as she stood up and walked down the stairs as quietly as she could.

As she walked out of the house, she hoped Hiccup wouldn't be too angry with her. Hopefully he would at least accept her help. When she remembered the way Snotlout and the twins talked about him earlier, she figured he honestly didn't have much choice.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------

Pain.

That was what Hiccup felt most when he woke up. Pain in his head, and a terrible itch on his face. He moaned as he tried to remember what happened. He remembered dragon training. They were fighting a Nadder, right? He remembered reading the dragon manual. He was supposed to ask Gobber something, but he couldn't figure out what.

It was hard to think. Voices were disturbing his thoughts, and the itching became worse and worse. He wanted to scratch it, but his arms felt so heavy. Everything felt heavy, and his mind was filling with thoughts of sleep.

But the pain was too bad to go to sleep again.

"Hey, Hiccup. Are you awake?" He suddenly heard a voice next to him. Gobber? Hiccup opened his eyes to see if it was Gobber.

Nothing happened. His vision remained as it was before, covered in blackness and nothingness.

"Gobber? Is that you?" He decided to ask.

"Yes, laddie. It's Gobber. Try not to move too much," he heard the voice say, now confirmed to be Gobber.

He was feeling more confused by the second. None of this made sense. "Why not? What happened?" he asked, hoping the itch and pain would go away.

He could hear Gobber sigh, and he heard the creaking of a chair. "Hiccup, there was an… accident today in dragon training. Your face was hit by dragon fire. Do you remember that?"

Hiccup tried to remember, even though it was hard to think when he felt so drowsy. "I remember a Nadder. And Astrid falling on me. She hit the Nadder with her axe. I remember she was angry. I remember you taking the dragon away. After that… it's all just pain and heat and screams," Hiccup slowly said, trying to put the chaotic images in his head into words.

"You were hit by dragon fire, and your injuries are… severe, Hiccup," Hiccup could hear a hint of fright in Gobber's tone, like he was afraid to speak. The itch grew even worse, and with all his strength Hiccup lifted his left arm to scratch it. But when he put his fingers on the skin just above his eye, he didn't feel any skin. He felt cloth, and bandages, and some kind of poultice.

"Try not to touch it, Hiccup," Gobber said quickly.

Hiccup couldn't take it anymore. Why couldn't Gobber just explain what it was? Why was his face covered in bandages? "What are my injuries?" He asked, his voice low as he put his arm back down.

"Well, most of the skin around your eyes has been severely burned. You will have have pretty ugly scars there for the rest of your life," Gobber finally said. It shocked Hiccup, but he had the feeling Gobber wasn't telling the whole truth.

"Why can't I see anything? Are there bandages covering my eyes?" he asked, somewhat afraid of the answer.

He could hear Gobber take a deep breath. "Hiccup. The dragon fire… it didn't just hit your skin. Some of it landed in your eyes. They're burned as well," Gobber took another deep breath while Hiccup tried to figure out what he was trying to say.

"Hiccup. You're blind. Forever."

His brain seemed to stop. It just wouldn't compute. Blind. He couldn't be blind. It must be some kind of prank by the twins. Wrapping cloth around his head and making him think he was blind. But why would Gobber help them with that? None of it made sense.

"Blind?" he finally asked, his voice flat.

"Blind. You can't see. Your eyes are gone. You can't process visual information," Gobber said, missing the point of his question.

"Thank you for summing that up," Hiccup said in a sarcastic tone. "I know what blindness means, Gobber."

"I'm sorry, Hiccup. Are you hungry?" Gobber asked, and Hiccup struggled to process the new turn the conversation had taken. Luckily, his stomach answered for him, growling loudly at the mention of food.

"Okay, I'll just get you something. I'll be right back," Gobber said, but Hiccup barely heard him. He couldn't stop thinking about it. Blind? If that's true, the gods must really hate him.

 _"I'm already the worst Viking on Berk, isn't that enough for Odin and co?"_ Hiccup thought bitterly. Was this some sort of divine punishment for not killing the Night Fury?

He tried to scratch the itch again, the skin feeling strange under the bandages. It didn't hurt that much, it just felt… weird. He suddenly smelled the aroma of vegetable stew, and his mouth watered. "Here you go," he heard Gobber say, from somewhere to the right of him. He wasn't sure what to do.

"Oh, right. Can you hold out your hands, so I can hand this bowl to you?" Gobber asked him, and he realized Gobber must have tried to give him the meal.

He sat up and held out his hands, and Gobber gently placed a hot bowl in them. He carefully put the bowl on his lap, unsure of how full it was. He felt around, and almost immediately touched a wooden spoon sticking out of the bowl. He grabbed the spoon and tried to get some of the stew. When he was sure the spoon felt heavier, he tried to move it to his mouth.

He suddenly felt something hot hit his cheek, and in surprise his hand shook. He yelped as hot stew dripped down his cheek.

"Oh, maybe I shouldn't have made stew, eh?" Gobber said as he dabbed the stew with a piece of cloth. "Do you need help?" he asked, his tone light.

Hiccup felt useless, and he didn't want to feel useless. He should be able to do something as simple as eating. "No, I can do it myself," he said.

He took the spoon and ran his hands along it, trying to judge how big it was. When he had a mental image of the spoon he turned it right side up and put it back in the bowl. He scooped up a bit of stew, and gently moved the spoon back up. He held the spoon in his left hand, and used his right to feel where the head was.

He opened his mouth, and managed to put the spoon inside. He suddenly felt a sense of triumph, and he wasn't sure if it was because he managed to somewhat still his hunger, or because he had managed something as simple as eating.

His mouth formed a slight smile as he repeated the process, trying to spill as little as he could. As his stomach filled his mind became drowsy again. When Gobber finally took the empty bowl from his lap he felt ready to fall asleep.

"Okay, Hiccup, tomorrow Astrid will come by to bring you to Gothi. Your bandages will have to be changed," Gobber woke him from his near-sleep. Hiccup was confused at the mention of Astrid's name, but he was too tired to think about it. He just made a grunting sound.

Don't worry, Hiccup. Things may look dark now, but it will all be brighter in the morning," Gobber said with a cheery voice. Then he suddenly gasped. "I mean… I didn't mean it like… I meant that as a metaphor, I guess things really look dark now right? Uhm, I'm just gonna go now," Gobber stuttered as Hiccup could hear him walk away.

As Hiccup moved into a more comfortable position, he suddenly wondered what his father would say when he heard about this.

 _"At least I won't have to see his disappointed face again,"_ was the last thing Hiccup thought before he traveled to the land of dreams.


	5. Nightmares

It was dark when Hiccup woke up again. As he sat up he felt a great pressure in his bladder and an annoying itch on his face.

When he brought his hand up to scratch that itch and his fingers touched cloth, he suddenly remembered what had happened that evening. Everything came flooding back as all the weariness disappeared. Running from the Nadder in the arena. Astrid glaring at him, her axe dripping with dragon fire. The dragon fire flying from the axe towards him. Pain. Heat. Screaming. Darkness. Waking up to Gobber. Gobber telling him that he is scarred. That he is blind.

Hiccup still couldn't believe it. He couldn't wrap his head around it. Blind? He never in a million years imagined he would be blind.

But the fact that his vision didn't change when he opened his eyes was undeniable.

He gently touched the bandages wrapped around his head, trying to figure out where the burns were. Based on the pain and the weird sensations he felt when he applied pressure to burned skin, he could tell that basically all the skin between his temples was hurt. He wondered how it looked, and if he could use a mirror to see the burns next time they changed the bandages.

Then he remembered that he would never see anything ever again.

It was hard to think about it. It was an impossibility. Like some paradox or puzzle, it just didn't make any sense. It reminded him of the Night Fury in the woods, the dragon that hadn't killed him even though it had the chance. It just wasn't compatible with the way things were, with the way things should be.

Then the pressure in his bladder reasserted itself, and in a flash, he understood what a mess he was in.

He had to get to the outhouse, without being able to see.

Hiccup considered calling for help, but he didn't want to ask for help on something as simple as doing his business. He wasn't that useless. He had managed to eat by himself earlier, he could do this too.

He sat up, determined he could do this, and prepared to get up from the bed, when he realized he had no idea where he was. Was he in his own house? Gobber's house? Gothi's house? The Great Hall? He moved his hand over the wooden supports of the bed, and sighed in relief when he felt the familiar notches he had carved in there years ago. He was in his own bed, so he must be in his own house.

He carefully moved his feet over the edge of the bed and set them on the floor. He stood up, and moved towards the stairs.

He didn't make it two steps before he stumbled over a chair. He fell down hard on his right arm. His left arm, however, didn't hit anything. It hovered in empty air, lower than the rest of his body. Hiccup felt confused, before he realized his arm was hanging over the edge of the loft.

His heart skipped a beat as he realized he had nearly fallen over the edge, and he vowed to move more carefully. He crawled towards the stairs, using his left hand to feel for obstacles. He stood up when he reached the stairs, and carefully walked down, feeling for the edge of every step with his feet. He sighed in relief when he finally reached the bottom step, and slowly walked in the direction of the front door, using his arms to feel ahead of him. When he reached the door and yanked it open, he shivered from the cold air entering the house.

He listened for any activity, but the only thing he heard was a sheep bleating in the distance. It must be in the middle of the night.

"Okay, halfway there. Now you just have to get to the outhouse," Hiccup reminded himself as he walked out of the door.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Astrid was back in the arena, alone. As she looked around, she saw that the walls were covered in scorch marks, the gray stone covered in black soot.

Suddenly, she heard a shriek behind her, and when she turned around, she saw the Deadly Nadder charge towards her. She tried to raise her axe, but without warning it started melting, turning to ash in her hands.

Defenseless, she faced the Nadder again, but it was gone. In its place was her father, an angry look on his face.

"Haven't I taught you anything? Never let go of your weapon!" Tolfdir scolded her. "And how dare you cry? Real Vikings don't cry!"

Astrid turned around, tears threatening to fall from her eyes, and saw her mother looking at her with disappointment and sadness.

"You promised not to hurt your classmates, Astrid. You were supposed to fight dragons, not defenseless boys!" Kirsten told her.

Before Astrid could say an excuse, she heard laughter coming from her right. She turned and saw Snotlout and the twins looking at her, laughing.

"Even we never screwed up this bad!" Tuffnut said. "Not even Hiccup did anything as bad as crippling someone for life!" Ruffnut added.

"And you can't even take it like a Viking. You threw up and cried, all because of little stupid useless Hiccup!" Snotlout told her with his smug voice. "You're not a real Viking like I am."

"No! No, I didn't want this! I'm trying to be tough!" Astrid shouted back, barely able to produce the words. She heard loud footsteps behind her, and turned around to see the chief walking towards her, Gobber hot on his heels. Both looked at her with expressions of pure anger.

"You nearly killed the heir. You blinded my son for life. You are not a Viking. You are not a warrior. You are not a Berkian. You are exiled," Stoick said with a flat voice.

"No," someone else said. She recognized the nasal voice, and turned around once more, even though she didn't want to. She saw Hiccup standing before her, his blackened skin smelling like death. Those horrible holes where his eyes should be seemed to pierce her soul, like Hiccup could see all her thoughts.

"She deserves worse than exile. She deserves to be hurt, the way she hurt me," Hiccup said, and as he talked, he seemed to grow bigger. He towered above her, and Astrid fell to her knees, paralyzed by fear and guilt.

"No, Hiccup, I never wanted this! I didn't mean to hurt you! I didn't want to hurt anyone!" She begged him, but he merely laughed, the red blotches on his face glowing brighter in contrast to the black.

"Yes you did. You thought I was useless, that you could hurt me, because you were such a perfect warrior. And for that, you must die," Hiccup said, and when he finished his not-eyes started glowing. Astrid tried to get up and run away when she realized what was about to happen.

But there was no escape from the fire that flew towards her from Hiccup's destroyed face, She fell down again as she saw the burning liquid approaching her, and screamed as it hit her. She could feel her skin falling off, her face melting, her hair burning.

And then she woke up, screaming and crying. She folded her body into a ball, trying to protect herself from the fire, before she realized she wasn't in the arena anymore.

 _"Come on, Astrid. It wasn't real. It was just a nightmare! Hiccup can't hurt you!"_ Astrid kept repeating that to herself, but she couldn't stop shaking and crying. She couldn't get the images out of her head: the disappointment of her parents, the laughter of the teenagers, the anger of the chief. And most of all, she couldn't forget Hiccup's face. That face that she had created.

After a few minutes, the shaking finally stopped, and Astrid moved out of her little ball. She tried to take deep breaths, wiping at her eyes.

She looked through the little window in her room, and saw it was still dark outside. She knew she should go back to sleep, but she was terrified that the nightmare would come back. Her room suddenly seemed too small, and she felt an urge to run as far as she could. She got up and walked downstairs, glad that the tears finally stopped. She opened the door, and saw that it was the middle of the night, the only light coming from the full moon.

She hoped a run would clear her head. Exercise always seemed to empty her thoughts, so she ran out of the door, as fast as she could.

But no matter how hard she ran, she couldn't run away from Hiccup's face haunting her.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

As he stood on the porch, Hiccup tried to remember how to get to the outhouse. It was odd: he must have made this walk hundreds or thousands of times, but now he felt unsure. He knew he had to turn right when he left the house, and walk thirty yards. Or was it twenty? Or forty? And how much did he have to turn? It wasn't a perfect 90 degree angle, but how much was it?

He tried to guess as best he could, and started walking while counting his steps. He tried to remember what the angle of the hill should be on the route, and compare it to the slope under his feet as he walked, but the harder he tried, the more unsure he got. He knew the outhouse was slightly downhill, but was the hill steeper than normal? Or was he imagining that?

After he had counted thirty steps without reaching the outhouse, Hiccup started to get a little panicky. Had he turned too far to the left? Or to the right? Did he walk too far? Not far enough? He wanted to cry out in frustration, not knowing if the little hut was a thousands miles away or right in front of him, just beyond the reach of his fingers.

The doubt overwhelmed his brain, and he started to feel dizzy. He desperately tried to visualize the hill, but without his eyes he found it was impossible. It felt like there was no hill, like he was standing in some black room, or floating in a sea of darkness. From his perspective he might as well be standing on a lone sea stack or in the heart of Rome. It would look exactly the same.

He turned around and tried to walk back towards the house. Maybe he could try again. But when he took another step his foot landed on a loose rock. It rolled away, and Hiccup fell down. Unable to see the ground coming he hit his head hard, and he briefly saw flashes of light covering the constant blackness.

He had fallen down on the side of the hill, and, swimming in a black sea or not, Hiccup was not immune to the effects of gravity. When he tried to get up he fell again and started rolling down.

He was unable to slow himself down, until he suddenly crashed into the side of a house. With a moan, he stood up and took a few steps forward, hoping he could make it back up the hill. However, he was still dizzy, and he fell.

Straight into a mud pool.

 _"The gods really do hate me,"_ Hiccup thought as he crawled out of the pool, his vest covered in mud. Desperately, he started crawling in a random direction, praying to any god he could think of to help him.

The gods seemed to think this was a very funny game, though. Hiccup crawled through what felt like a rarely used street, when he was startled by a raven loudly calling right next to him. He felt his pants become hot and wet as he jumped away from the noise.

Hiccup had never felt as pathetic as he did in that moment, realizing that he had soiled himself.

He dropped down on the ground, thinking about his predicament. He had no idea where he was. He was covered in mud and piss. He was fairly certain he hurt his head, and he could feel scrapes on his arms. It was the middle of the night, so nobody was around to help him.

Hiccup was in an impossible situation. He needed help, but he also knew he didn't want anyone to ever see him like this. What would the village say if they saw him like this? He could hear Snotlout laughing at him in his head: _"Ha, look at that! He can't even take a piss without screwing up!"_

He knew he would lose whatever respect towards him the village had left if they saw him like this. He considered crawling away. Maybe he could reach the forest and hide there? But what could he do then? He'd never find his way back. And there was also a chance he'd simply fall over the edge of the cliff and drown.

Hiccup certainly wouldn't blame the others for calling him weak. He felt weak, and pathetic, and useless. That's what he was, he thought. He was truly useless. He couldn't even go to the outhouse without soiling himself.

He started to realize what this blindness would truly mean for him. He wouldn't be able to find his way around the village. He wouldn't be able to cook his own food, build his own house. He would never be able to draw again, never be able to read again. He'd never be able to fight, to command an army, to lead his people.

He would never be able to see the forest again, see the rabbits running around, and the foxes chasing them. He'd never again see the sun setting over the sea while the fishing boats returned home from beyond the horizon.

He would never be able to see Astrid's beautiful blue eyes or golden hair again. He would never see his own wedding, or see his children, if he would ever have them, which was unlikely.

He would never see the Night Fury again.

For some strange reason, that thought pushed Hiccup over the edge. He curled up into a ball and started sobbing. He was suddenly struck with the thought that he'd only look more pathetic if someone found him now, but he didn't care anymore. He was stuck inside his little black room, and in there, he was alone.

He felt truly alone, as he wondered who would care about him now. He had only become a greater disappointment to his father, since now he would never be able to even try to follow in his footsteps. Gobber likely wouldn't care about him anymore either, since he was now a useless apprentice and recruit. The other teenagers would only laugh at him more, and he couldn't blame them. He was truly Hiccup the Useless now.

He thought about Astrid and figured he had to be farther away from her than ever before. He had screwed up so badly in dragon training that she had apparently thrown dragon fire into his eyes, and now he would be an even more useless warrior. In that moment, Hiccup felt so pathetic he couldn't even blame her for hurting him. She had been right: He had not taken it as seriously as he should have, and she was right to be angry at him. He had deserved it for being so useless.

He started sobbing harder, desperate for affection. He wanted someone who would hug him, and help him, and tell him it was all gonna be okay.

He wanted his mother. Even though he had never known her, he was sure she wouldn't care how disgusting he was, she would hold him and sing to him and make it all better.

But his mother was gone. She had been taken by the dragons when he was just a baby, and now there was no one left. No one but this useless blind kid. Hiccup the Blind. Hiccup the Useless. He put his finger on the ground beside him and wrote it in the dirt, like some final confirmation. Three little words that contained all anyone needed to know about him:

**Hiccup**

**Blind**

**Useless**

As his fingers traced the words he had written, he sobbed again, and he could feel snot leaking out of his nose. He felt disgusting. But there was nothing he could do about it. So he curled back into his ball and cried, alone in his dark world.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Astrid had just started running when she heard a weird sound. It came from behind a nearby barn, on the road to Mildew's farm. Her survival instincts kicked in and she immediately took her battle-ready stance. She stood perfectly still for a few seconds, examining her surroundings and cursing herself for leaving her axe at her house.

The noise didn't sound threatening. It certainly wasn't a dragon's roar or the battle cry of an enemy tribe. It sounded almost like crying. She decided to investigate, sneaking around the barn as quietly as she could. She peeked around the corner and saw the person she least expected.

Hiccup was curled up in a ball, the bandages on his head brightly reflected in the moonlight. He was sobbing and crying, and he seemed oblivious to his surroundings.

Astrid wondered what he was doing out alone in the middle of the night. Maybe he couldn't sleep, like her? But why would he be crying in the middle of a street? She slowly walked closer to him, careful not to make a sound.

From up close Hiccup looked more pathetic than she had ever seen him. His vest and shirt were covered in mud. His hair was tangled and filled with dirt and leafs. She could see blood on his right sleeve, and an awful smell came from his trousers. When she looked closer she could see a large wet spot around his groin, and she realized he must have soiled himself.

A cloud moved away, and the moonlight became brighter. Astrid suddenly saw strange shadows on the ground next to Hiccup, and saw runes written into the ground. She carefully walked around Hiccup and tried to read the crooked letters, apparently written by Hiccup himself.

**Hiccup**

**Blind**

**Useless**

Those were the words she eventually deciphered, and she was shocked that Hiccup would think that about himself. Snotlout called him useless plenty of times, but it never seemed to affect Hiccup. He always shrugged it off with his crooked grin and a sarcastic joke.

He certainly wasn't laughing about it now. While she had been reading the runes in the dirt, Hiccup had continued sobbing, oblivious to her presence. He looked utterly helpless, with his dirty clothes and scraped arms, curled up in the dirt.

Astrid suddenly remembered her conversation with Gobber the evening before. _"I'd advice you to help Hiccup adjust to his new life,"_ he had said. _"Show that you are a great warrior, but also a great Viking,"_ she hadn't understood that remark at the time. Wasn't a good warrior automatically a good Viking? But maybe being a Viking was about more than fighting dragons. Maybe that's what her mother had been trying to tell her when she told her to play with the others.

She felt sorry now that she had only listened to her father's advice, while ignoring her mother. She wished her parents were here now, so they could tell her how to deal with the helpless boy in front of her. Yesterday she would probably have left him there. She would have been disgusted by his weakness, thinking he should just grow up and stop being so weak.

Today, she wasn't so sure.

But then she remembered what Gobber had told her. She should help Hiccup with his new life. Well, this might be as good a time as any to start.

"Hiccup?" she softly said, trying to get his attention.

She didn't expect his reaction. He shot up like he was being attacked. He jumped to his feet faster than she could have imagined. Then he ran off, trying to get as far from her as possible.

That turned out not to be very far at all, as Hiccup ran straight into the side of a house three yards away. He pressed his back to the wall, looking like a cornered animal.

Astrid felt a pang of hurt as she saw how afraid Hiccup seemed of her. "Hiccup?" she tried again.

His breathing quickened as he tried to move again, but tripped over a bucket next to him.

"Hiccup. It's me, Astrid. I'm not going to hurt you," she said.

Hiccup finally stopped moving, as he seemed paralyzed in confusion. "Astrid?" he asked, with a croaking voice, still raw from the crying.

"Yes, I'm right here. Don't be scared, nothing's going to happen," she said, relieved that he wasn't actively trying to run away from her anymore.

"Why are you here? Are you coming to laugh at me? Make fun of me? Tell me what I already know: That I'm useless?" he snapped at her, sitting down against the wall.

"No, Hiccup," she said, as gently as she could. "I'm not going to laugh at you. I just wanted to ask you if you needed help."

He turned his head towards her with an unbelieving expression on the part of his face she could see. He was silent for nearly a minute as he apparently debated whether she was serious or not. She suddenly noticed there were no tear marks on his face, even though he had been crying for a while. Were his tear ducts irreparably damaged as well?

"No, just leave me alone," he finally said.

She sighed and sat down next to him. Yesterday she would have hit him by now, angry that he would doubt her sincerity, but she knew that this wasn't a time for punches. "Come on, Hiccup, we both know you need help right now. Will you at least tell me what happened?" she asked him.

He still seemed unsure, and he turned his face away from her.

"I'm not going to laugh, okay? I promise." she tried, desperate to pierce this wall he was building around himself.

"Okay, fine. I woke up and I needed to go to the outhouse, but I couldn't find it. I got lost, and then I fell into a mud pool, and then I wet myself because I got scared of a stupid raven. Happy now? Happy to see how useless I am?" he suddenly said with an angry tone, but she could hear his voice shaking near the end, filled with shame and sorrow.

She remained silent for a few seconds, then she stood up and grabbed his hand. "Come on, let's get you cleaned up," she told him.

He snapped his face towards her as his jaw fell. He was frozen for a few seconds, then he managed to produce a shocked "Why?"

Astrid wasn't sure how to answer this. The honest answer was that he looked totally pathetic and really needed the help, but even she knew that wasn't a good thing to say right now.

"Because you stink," she finally said. "Plus, if you don't get clean yourself those wounds could get infected. We don't want that, right?"

He still seemed to stare at her through his bandages, apparently unsure of her sincerity, but when she tugged on his arm he allowed himself to be dragged to a standing position.

"Come on, let's get you back home. You need a bath," she told him, trying to keep her voice light, like this was no big deal, like there was nothing he had to be ashamed of.

But before she took took his elbow and lead him up the hill, she used her foot to erase the words he had written in the dirt, wishing she could remove all his wounds as easily.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hiccup could barely believe what had just happened as Astrid guided him back to his house. He kept expecting Snotlout to jump out and insult him. He kept expecting Astrid to punch him while telling him how useless he was.

But she didn't. She had found the most pathetic person on Berk, and she hadn't laughed or made fun of him. She had been nice to him, instead of her usual distant apathy. Why would she go from throwing dragon fire in his face to helping him in within a single day?

Hiccup could hear the sound of bubbling water getting closer as he let Astrid lead him up the hill. They walked in silence, until Astrid suddenly stopped them.

"Okay Hiccup, you really need to take a bath. You're dirty, and you need to clean these scrapes before they get infected. We're next to the hot springs near your house now," he heard her voice say. It was so weird hearing people but being unable to see them. He didn't respond, unsure of what to say to Astrid. He had no idea if why she was doing this, and he didn't want to ruin it by saying the wrong thing.

"Uhm. You're going to need clean clothes. How about you take a bath and leave your dirty clothes here on the bank, and meanwhile I get some new clothes from your house? Are your clothes in your room?" she asked with that cheerful voice. It confused Hiccup. She was talking like this was some normal, everyday thing, like she was asking him to pass her the salt during dinner, or like they were discussing the weather.

But Astrid telling him to take his clothes off while she searched his room was definitely not an everyday occurrence.

Hiccup nodded, not trusting himself to say anything.

"Good!" He could almost feel her smile, as weird as that was. "Okay, the pool is about two yards to your left. Just shout when you need anything," and with that she was gone. He could hear her running to his right, the footsteps quickly getting quieter. After about twenty seconds had passed, Hiccup hoped she couldn't see him anymore, and he started stripping his dirty clothes off.

While he was confused by Astrid's sudden cheerful helpfulness, he had to admit she had a point. He really wanted to get out of those clothes, the mud and piss were clinging to him uncomfortably. Luckily he found that he didn't need his vision to undress, and soon enough he was crawling in the direction Astrid had told him the hot spring was.

He briefly considered how ridiculous he must look, completely naked, bandages wrapped around his head and crawling on all fours into a pool like an animal. He hoped Astrid was still looking for his clothes as he eased himself into the warm water.

He couldn't stop a moan escaping his lips as he felt the water wash away the filth. His arms stung where the water made contact with the scrapes and cuts, but he knew it was necessary to clean the wounds. He used his hands to rub the rest of his body, trying his best to clean himself without soap or cloth, being careful not to disturb the bandages on his face.

When he had cleaned himself up as best he could, he finally allowed himself to relax. For the first time that night he felt completely at ease. He still felt confused about Astrid's behavior, and he was still shocked by his sudden blindness. But here, floating in the warm water, his terrifying black room had become a safe sanctuary, like there was nothing in the world but him and the pool.

"Hiccup? May I come closer?" Astrid's voice suddenly asked, piercing the black walls around him.

"Uh..." He wasn't sure. Only his head was above the water, and his back was to the shore, so he guessed she couldn't see much. "Okay. I'm in the water," he called out.

He heard shuffling and footsteps behind him, and the sound of cloth being dropped on the ground. He heard the footsteps moving away, and suddenly Astrid's voice called out again. "I put clean clothes just about three yards behind you, and a towel about two yards behind you. I'm currently behind a boulder, so I can't see you. You can come out now."

Hiccup suddenly felt unsure. What if this was some big prank? What if Snotlout and the twins would ambush him as he climbed out of the pool? What if Astrid was really looking at him right now, preparing to laugh at his scrawny body?

But then he realized he couldn't know that. He had no idea what was happening beyond the range of his fingers. He could only trust that Astrid was telling the truth.

Did he trust Astrid? That seemed to be the main question. Did he really have a choice? He couldn't stay here forever, and she had seemed genuine so far, even if he couldn't understand her motives. He decided to take her word for it, and crawled out of the pool.

He found the towel exactly where she said it would be, and dried himself as quickly as he could. He then took another step and found clothes. He used his hands to identify the different clothes, and put them on. But the time he put his boots on he finally felt human again.

"I'm dressed, Astrid. You can come out now," he called out, hoping she hadn't run off yet. He wasn't sure he could make it back to the house by himself without falling in the spring.

"Good! Now let's go to bed, okay?" he heard her say as she took his elbow again, preparing to lead him home. The cheerfulness in her voice seemed to be gone, and she sounded unsure, afraid somehow. Hiccup wished he could see her face. He thought people were confusing even when he could see their facial expressions. Now they just seemed impossible to understand. Was Astrid angry? Sad? Annoyed? He had no idea.

The thought that he'd never be able to see anyone's face ever again made him sad as they walked up the hill. He could feel his shoulders slumping, as the warmth of the pool seemed to slip away to make room for cold reality.

Astrid lead him through the front door of his house and up the stairs without saying anything. She let go of his arm to move something, probably the chair he had fallen over earlier. They stood there awkwardly, neither knowing what to say. Hiccup was still lost in his thoughts, his mind unable to stop thinking of more things he'd never be able to see. He could feel the depression returning, and he hoped Astrid would leave before he'd start crying again.

Suddenly pain tore through his arm, and it took a moment before he realized Astrid had punched him.

"That's for going out alone," she said. He could feel his face falling as he realized she was still angry with him.

But then he suddenly felt her arms wrapping him into a tight hug. He froze, unsure of what to do, his arms hanging in the air behind Astrid's back. Before he could react, she released him, awkwardly moving backward.

"That's for… everything else," she said. Hiccup suddenly felt overcome with a giddy happiness, and a snort left his mouth.

"You better not tell anyone about that! No one can know I hugged you!" she said, like it was a dirty word. She sighed, and her tone became softer.

"You know what? I'll make a deal with you. You don't tell anyone about what I just did, and I won't tell anyone about what happened to you tonight. Deal?" she asked.

He couldn't stop a smile coming to his face as he said "Deal," He now had some sort of secret with Astrid! She suddenly grasped his hand hanging by his side, and shook it.

"Okay then. You should go to sleep now. I'm coming back in the morning, to bring you to Gothi," She told him, sounding unsure of herself. "I'm going now. Uhm, bye Hiccup," she said, and a second later he could hear her run down the stairs.

"Goodnight," He softly said, knowing she was already gone. He felt around for his bed, and sat down on it to take his boots off. He couldn't stop himself smiling as he remembered the feeling of her arms around him.

Maybe she really meant it when she said that she wanted to help him. But why? Out of guilt? Some sense of honor? For a moment Hiccup allowed himself to consider the case that she helped him because she liked him, but that was ridiculous.

Whatever it was, she had helped him, and she had treated him nicer than anyone had in years, except for Gobber.

 _"Maybe there is someone who cares about me after all,"_ he thought as he fell asleep, a smile still on his face.

And in his dreams he saw Astrid's face again, smiling at him as she hugged him close.


	6. Finding One's Way

Astrid woke early the next morning. She had gone straight to bed after leading Hiccup back to his house, and her sleep had thankfully not been interrupted by more nightmares. When she holstered her ruined axe she thought back on the night before.

She had helped Hiccup because Gobber had told her to, right? She had brought him back to his house, found clean clothes for him, because she had to look good for the chief. But then why had she… hugged him? That wasn't something Stoick would ever know about, if Hiccup would honor their deal.

She'd like to tell herself it was just because Hiccup had looked so sad, and because he looked like he really needed a hug. It was just one more way of helping him. But deep down she knew that Hiccup wasn't the only one that had needed a hug. When she had looked at Hiccup's sad face her mind had once again overflowed with guilt and confusion. She couldn't figure out how to feel about what happened that morning.

She had felt weak, vulnerable. She had puked twice that day, and cried more tears in that one day than in the ten years before. And she hated feeling weak. She was supposed to be strong. Feelings are for the weak, that's what her father always said. She had always taken her feelings and locked them in a tiny box in the back of her brain, and never allowed herself to open that box.

But maybe the dragon fire had destroyed the locks of that box as well. Her mind seemed to be overflowing with all these thoughts and feelings and she had no idea what to do with them. She desperately wanted to push everything back into the box, but she wasn't sure that was possible anymore. That's what she had tried to do yesterday, while training in the forest, but it had only overflowed again later during dinner in the Great Hall.

Astrid considered all these things while eating a simple breakfast of bread and dried meat. After she had eaten she decided she might as well find Hiccup and bring him to Gothi. So she walked up the hill towards his house, wondering if Hiccup felt as confused as she was.

She opened the front door without knocking while calling out "Hiccup, are you there?"

She was met with the sight of Hiccup turning in her direction and immediately tripping over a chair.

"Astrid! H-Hey! Hey A-Astrid! How are y-you doing today?" He asked in a nervous tone while trying to get up as best he could. She sighed, she wasn't in a mood for his stuttering today. The bandages on his face kept reminding her of what she had done, and she really didn't want to spend more time with him than necessary.

"I'm fine. Let's go," she said while walking over to him and grabbing his elbow like she had done the night before. She dragged him to the door and outside while he kept tripping and stumbling.

"Uhm, Astrid, I know we need to go to Gothi, but uhm… Can we… uhm… stop by the outhouse?" he said to her. She stopped walking and looked at him. His face was beet red, and he was 'looking' at the ground.

"I mean, I need to g-go… and… we s-saw last night how… bad it can go when I try it by myself," he said with an embarrassed voice. "I mean, you saw it, I couldn't really see it, you know, but..." he rambled on when she decided to interrupt him.

"Okay, Hiccup, I'll bring you there," he looked relieved at that, though his face was still bright red. She turned around again, trying not to think about how the white bandages contrasted with the red skin, and lead him to the outhouse.

"It's right here," she told him while pushing him towards the door. He mumbled a thanks when he went inside, and she walked a short distance away. She didn't want to hear Hiccup doing his business, handling his dirty clothes yesterday had been bad enough. She hoped she wouldn't have to escort him every time he needed to go.

She wondered if there was a way she could fix that. She looked around to examine the hill. As she looked, she could understand why Hiccup couldn't find the outhouse without sight. The hill was pretty much empty, without any rocks, paths, bushes or anything that would help him find his way.

Before Astrid could think about it more, Hiccup came out of the little hut. "Astrid?" He hesitantly called out, and she swore she could hear a sigh of relief from him when she grabbed his elbow. "Come on, let's go to Gothi now." She told him while leading him away.

They walked in silence. From the corner of her eye she could see Hiccup repeatedly opening his mouth, as though he wanted to say something, but kept changing his mind at the last moment. Astrid wasn't sure what to talk about either. What do you say to someone who is blind because of you? Part of her wanted to ask him if he was okay, but another part of her wanted to get as far away from him as possible.

When they reached the stairs to Gothi's tower she gently lead him up, only talking to him to tell him when there was a turn, or how many steps there were left. She mentally sighed in relief when they reached the top, and she knocked on the door.

A few moments later, Gobber opened the door. She could see Gothi behind him. "Ah, hey there, Astrid! How are you doing today?" he greeted her. Before she could answer, he looked over her shoulder and saw Hiccup.

"Hey Hiccup! Good morning! Come in," Gobber told him. Hiccup mumbled a hello while Astrid lead him to the door. She tried to go in after him, but Gobber stopped her. "Astrid, it's probably better if you don't come in. Can you come back here in an hour or so to pick Hiccup up again?" he asked her in a soft tone, apparently trying to keep Hiccup from hearing it. Without thinking about it, she nodded, and Gobber shut the door in her face.

Seeing the shut door Astrid felt slightly insulted. Why was she not allowed in? How dare he order her around like a slave or something? But she kept calm. _"That's the price you have to pay for what you've done,"_ Astrid told herself as she walked down the stairs of the tower. If that's the way it was going to be, then she would face it with strength and honor. She wouldn't complain.

But the thought of potentially having to accompany Hiccup on every toilet break for the rest of his life annoyed her anyway. She was so lost in frustration and confusion she didn't look at her feet, and she suddenly tripped over a rock. As she fell, she felt even more annoyed and angry than before, but when she looked back at the rock she suddenly got an idea.

 _"Hey, I've got an hour to kill. I might as well try it,"_ Astrid thought as she picked up the rock.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hiccup felt very awkward as he walked into Gothi's hut. He heard Gobber speak to Astrid behind him, but he couldn't hear what they were talking about. He decided to stand still after a few steps, to avoid falling over any objects there might be.

He heard Gobber shut the door, and say "Hello Hiccup. How are you?"

"Hi Gobber," he said, trying to turn his towards where he guessed Gobber was. "And hi Gothi. I guess. If you're there. I mean, I can't see, so..."

His rambling was interrupted by Gothi announcing her presence by whacking him with her staff. "Ouch, I'm sorry! I didn't mean it in a bad way!" he said as he rubbed his head.

He could sense Gothi waving her staff, and Gobber interpreted for him: "She's telling you to sit down, Hiccup,"

Hiccup started feeling around for a chair for a few seconds before Gobber took him by the shoulders and shoved him onto a chair. He felt embarrassed that he was moved so easily, and he hoped Astrid hadn't seen that. He suddenly realized he didn't even know if Astrid was in the room. He considered asking, but he felt the atmosphere was already awkward enough without involving Astrid as well.

"Okay, Hiccup. I'm going to be interpreting for Gothi today, and probably the other times you'll need to come here. Now, how are you feeling today?" Gobber told him from somewhere to his left. He could hear Gothi walking around him, probably examining him.

"Awkward," and "Confused about why Astrid is helping me," where some of the first things that came to mind, but Hiccup guessed that wasn't what they were interested in.

"My face hurts and itches a lot. I feel a little lightheaded, and obviously I can't see," Hiccup told them.

Gobber stayed silent, and suddenly Gothi's hands ran over his face. She touched and prodded the bandages, and then she started to remove them. For a few seconds Hiccup hoped that he would be able to see as soon as the cloth in front of his eyes was removed, but that hope was quickly dashed when the last bandage fell down and his vision remained as empty as before.

He could hear Gobber inhale sharply, but he didn't say anything. The atmosphere in the room was tense, so Hiccup decided to try and lighten it.

"So, do I look bad-ass with my new scars?" he asked in a light tone. Gothi stopped her examination of his burns to slap him on the side of his face, and Gobber sighed deeply.

"You look like many things, Hiccup, but bad-ass is not one of them," he told him.

"Well, I'm just asking. I can't see it for myself, you know," Hiccup retorted. He hoped that by joking about it, it wouldn't seem so real. But the fact that he barely felt Gothi's hands as she prodded where his eyes should be kept reminding him that it was real. This wasn't some scary nightmare or stupid prank. He was burned. He was scarred and he was blind, and that was reality.

Gobber didn't respond, and the room fell quiet once more, the silence only interrupted by the sound of Gothi's movements and Hiccup's gasps of pain when she poked him in sensitive or painful spots. He briefly considered asking for permission to feel his own face, but he didn't really want to. Honestly, he didn't want to know how bad it looked.

He felt like a small child again, hiding under his bed from the dragons during a raid. He remembered hoping that if he couldn't see them, they wouldn't see him. The dragons wouldn't be real if he couldn't see them.

Now he would never be able to see anything ever again, but it would all still be real.

He felt relieved when Gothi put new poultices on the wounds, and wrapped them with clean bandages. Even though he couldn't see it, it still felt nice to know that the rest of the world wouldn't be able to see the scars either.

When Gothi was done, Hiccup could hear her writing in the sand in the corner of the room. He had started to learn Gothi's writing about a month ago, urged on by his father.

 _"A true chief must be able to speak to the Elder directly,"_ Stoick would tell him, even though Stoick himself couldn't read her symbols. He had always relied on Gobber to interpret for him.

It seems that tradition would be carried on by Hiccup now. "What a waste," he thought as he remembered the hours he had spent in Gothi's company trying to decipher the weird symbols.

He sat still as he heard Gobber stand up and walk over to the sandbox. "Okay, she's telling you to come back here every dagger..." he was suddenly interrupted by a loud whack. "Ouch! Day. I meant day. You have to come back here every day for the next week or so. Maybe in a few days you won't have to wear your… clothes?" another whack was followed by some more scribbling in the sand.

"Oh! You won't have to have the bandages on anymore," Gobber said quickly. Hiccup wasn't sure how he felt about that. On the one hand, he wanted to recover as best he could. But on the other hand, he didn't want the other teens to see the scars.

He could already hear Snotlout in his head, taunting him for his blindness and burn scars. He remembered Astrid saying scars are cool, but somehow he couldn't imagine she would find his scars 'cool'. His scars weren't obtained in a heroic fight with a dragon, but instead because Astrid had been angry with him.

Before he could think further on it, Gobber grabbed his arm and pulled him from the chair. "Come on, Hiccup. It ain't so bad. Astrid's gonna help you with this, and it will all be fine, you'll see," Gobber told him as he lead him to the door.

Hiccup could hear the door open, and he could hear someone move outside. "Ah, hey there, Astrid! You two run along now, do something together or something," Gobber told them as he pushed Hiccup outside. "I just have a few more things I need to talk about with Gothi, so I'll see you later," he continued.

"Bye Gobber. Thanks for the help," Hiccup told him. "Thank you too, Gothi. I guess I'll see you tomorrow," he said in a louder voice, hoping she had heard him.

He turned around again, and he felt Astrid grab his arm to guide him down the stairs. "How did it go?" She asked him.

"Okay, I guess. I need to come back tomorrow though," he told her. "But apparently the bandages can come off in a few days. It seems no injury can stop this much raw… Vikingness!" he continued in a joking voice as he flexed the arm she wasn't holding. He could hear her snort, and she briefly let go off his arm to punch him there. He yelped from the unexpected pain, and nearly fell off the stairs. Astrid grabbed his vest just in time to pull him back.

"Yes, I see so much Vikingness in you falling off towers. Were you trying to fly or something?" she asked him in a more cheerful voice than she had been using earlier.

"Maybe it would work. I'm so light I might just float," he told her as they continued to walk down the stairs.

"Wanna try?" she asked him with a threatening voice as she pushed him away, before pulling him back again. Although he could feel his stomach jump in that brief second he didn't have ground beneath his feet he knew she was joking. She wouldn't throw him off the tower, right?

 _"She did swing her axe at you yesterday,"_ he suddenly thought. Who knows what she wanted to do to him.

 _"But that was because she was angry. She's not angry now,"_ his mind countered. Before he could think of it further, they reached the bottom of the stairs, and Astrid started pulling his arm as she started to run.

"Oh, I need to show you something! I just made something for you!" she said in an excited voice as she kept pulling him to go faster. He tried to keep up with her without falling, feeling more confused by Astrid by the minute.

Last night she had talked to him like her helping him was nothing unusual. She had sounded sort of cheerful, like she was happy to help him. Then she had suddenly become sad again after his bath. Then she had suddenly hugged him! This morning she sounded distant and tired, but now she was suddenly excited and full of energy. She seemed utterly unpredictable, and Hiccup didn't understand it at all.

As he felt her pulling on his hand, excited to show him some surprise, it was hard to reconcile this happy Astrid with the furious Astrid that had swung her axe in his direction less than 24 hours ago. He wasn't even sure how he felt about that. Some part of him wanted to feel angry, to yell at her, to scream at her, but another part just felt tired.

That part of him didn't see the point in being angry with her. He figured she hadn't wanted this to happen to him, right? She might have been annoyed with him, but she wouldn't want to blind him forever. Did she?

If she had wanted him to be crippled, she wouldn't have helped him last night, right? She wouldn't have hugged him if she despised every fiber of his being, right?

Hiccup wished he could see her facial expressions, see if she really was sincere in helping him. He had never understood girls, but Astrid started to drive him crazy. Why would she go from hating his guts to hugging him in a day? Why would she go from distant to excited within an hour?

Astrid suddenly interrupted his thoughts when she stopped abruptly, causing Hiccup to nearly fall over. "We're back in front of your house," she told him as she gently guided him to a specific spot a few yards away.

"Your front door is just to your right, but right in front of you is the thing I made. Check it out!" she told him in that enthusiastic tone, and Hiccup started to feel in front of him, feeling utterly confused.

"No! Feel with your feet!" Astrid told him as she turned his body slightly. Hesitantly, he moved his right foot forward and almost immediately hit a rock.

Hiccup started to wonder if Astrid had gone crazy when she pushed him from behind, making him stumble forward. "Keep feeling!" she told him.

He could feel the rock behind him, but when he moved his foot ahead of him he hit another rock. When he remembered which direction he was facing it suddenly made sense.

"You… marked a path to the outhouse for me?" Hiccup asked her.

"Yeah! Do you like it?" she asked him, and he could hear a hint of insecurity in her voice. He was surprised by that, Astrid was always so confident.

"Uhm, can I try it first?" he asked as he took another step and immediately felt another rock next to his foot. He kept walking, feeling for a new rock with every step. After about thirty steps he suddenly hit the outhouse.

"I made it!" he said, feeling stupid for being so excited about finding the outhouse. Astrid didn't seem to mind, though.

"Yeah, now I don't have to help you every time," she said in a relieved tone, apparently happy he was so excited.

"Thank you, Astrid!" he told her as he started following the stones back to his house.

"I made another path from the left of your door to the hot springs, so you can bath by yourself," she said as she walked beside him.

"Oh, so now I know which way to go to walk straight into the water?" he asked her in a sarcastic tone. The moment he said it, he wanted to slap himself. She had done such a nice thing for him, and he had to be nasty about it!

But she didn't hit him. She did something he hadn't expected at all. She laughed. He turned his head in her direction, his jaw falling open. He didn't think he had ever heard her laugh before. He couldn't help but start smiling himself.

"I guess I didn't think of marking the end of the path. Maybe I should get a big rock for you to stumble over," she told him after her laughter had stopped.

He suddenly walked into a wall, and realized they had reached the house again. "So… what now?" he asked her.

All the happiness seemed to dissipate from her. "I'm not sure. There's no dragon training today. Normally I'd go training in the forest, but I can't because my axe is broken."

"What's wrong with your axe?" he asked her, hoping to lighten the atmosphere with smalltalk.

"Half of it melted because of the dragon fire right before… Yeah," she said, her tone apprehensive.

 _"Great job, Hiccup! So much for lightening the mood!"_ he mentally kicked himself as he tried to think of a way to change the subject.

"Can I see it? The axe I mean?" he asked the first thing he could think of.

"What?" she asked, sounding confused.

"I mean, can I feel it, touch it, see what the damage is?" he elaborated.

"Uhm, okay?" she said in a questioning voice as she unstrapped her axe and placed it in his hands.

He immediately noticed the balance was off: The axe was lighter than it should be. When his fingers reached the blade, he could tell why. One half of the axe seemed undamaged, the edge still sharp. The other half was heavily damaged, the iron partly molten. He traced every ridge, every clump of iron, every edge and corner, trying to visualize the axe in his mind.

The damage didn't seem to be too hard to fix, honestly. Just melt the blade down, add a small amount of new iron, and hammer out a new axe blade. It was so simple even a child could do it if they had some experience.

At that thought Hiccup suddenly had an idea. It seemed crazy, insane, impossible at first glance. But the more he thought about it, the more it seemed possible.

"I… I think I can fix your axe," Hiccup told Astrid. "I just need you to help me in the forge."

He could almost sense her jaw dropping, as she told him "Hiccup. You're blind. You can't smith blindly. Right?" He could hear disbelief, but also a glimmer of hope in that last word. He rushed to explain.

"Smithing isn't that much about seeing, Astrid. When the metal is glowing hot, you sometimes can't even look at it directly. It's all about hitting the metal in the right spots, but that's more about… feeling the metal. It's hard to explain," he told her.

"I'm not sure if I can do it, but maybe if you help me, tell me what color the metal is and where things are, maybe it's possible. Can't we at least try, Astrid? Please?" he begged her in a pleading voice.

He was suddenly unsure of who he was trying to convince more. Astrid, or his own doubt, that little voice in his head that kept telling him he was useless. He didn't want to be useless. If there was even the slightest chance he could still use the forge he wanted to grab it.

She was silent for a long time, but finally she grabbed her axe from his hands, as she said: "Alright then. But if you mess up the rest of this axe I'll kill you with it."

Hiccup gulped, wondering what he had just gotten himself into.


	7. Forging Friendships

Astrid was unsure what had made her say yes to Hiccup's proposal. It seemed crazy and impossible, but still she had agreed.

She supposed she just really wanted her axe fixed. The ruined blade was a constant reminder of what had happened, and she just wanted everything to be as it used to be. Maybe if her axe was fixed, the rest of her problems would start fixing themselves as well.

She had put the axe back in its holster and grabbed Hiccup's hand to escort him to the forge. When they arrived they found it empty. Gobber must still be with Gothi.

"So, how does this work?" she hesitantly asked Hiccup.

"Okay, w-we should both put on aprons to p-protect us from sparks and fire. They should be over there somewhere," he nervously said as he pointed vaguely to the far corner of the forge. She let go of his arm to walk over there and search the closet in the corner. Inside she saw several aprons, and she grabbed two. She put one on herself, and turned around to give the other one to Hiccup.

She saw he had walked to the workbench and was feeling around the various tools lying there. She stopped for a moment to observe him, curious to see if he really could use the forge blindly.

She saw him pick up various tools, before putting them down almost immediately, apparently unsatisfied with their weight. He felt around some of the tools, trying to guess their shape, though he became more careful after he cut his finger on a knife. He eventually picked up a weird looking saw, and turned around, doubt suddenly appearing on his face.

She walked over and shoved the apron into the arm that wasn't holding the saw, and she noticed the doubt on his face made way for relief.

"Th-Thanks, Astrid. Can you light the forge? You should put some coals in the bottom compartment and light them. Then just pump those bellows. It's very simple," he told her in an uncertain voice, gesturing in the vague direction of the large forge.

"Okay," she told him as she walked over there. Just as she was about to put the coal in, she heard Hiccup call out again.

"Uhm, can I have your axe again? I'm going to remove the damaged blade," he said in an apprehensive tone. She wasn't sure she wanted the blind boy dismantling her axe, but she had told him she'd cooperate, so she laid the axe on the work bench in front of him.

"It's right there in front of you." she told him as she got back to lighting the forge. She used flint to light the coal, and started to pump the bellows. As the flames started to rise she heard a screeching sound from the other side of the forge. She looked over, and saw Hiccup had placed the axe in a vice and was now sawing through it with the strange saw.

"How can that saw through iron?" she asked, surprised by the strange sight. She had never been interested in smithing, but she was curious nonetheless. Plus, she wanted to be sure he didn't do any stupid things with her weapon.

"Oh, it's made from dragon teeth. Zippleback, I think. It's very sharp, and it cuts through iron," he told her in an eager tone. "Normally I'd dip the damaged part into the forge, but I don't dare do that now," he continued, a blush appearing on his face.

"Okay, cool," she said, as she focused her attention back to the bellows. She had never known they used dragon teeth as tools. It felt weird that they were using parts of the dragons they killed to repair weapons.

She continued to pump the bellows as the sawing sounds continued behind her. Suddenly she heard a loud clunk and a yelp of pain. She turned around to see Hiccup clutching his foot, the damaged axe head laying beside it on the floor.

She couldn't help but laugh as she saw Hiccup being clumsy as usual. It felt… _right_ somehow, Hiccup in the forge, stumbling after dropping something heavy on his foot. She walked over to look at the remnants of the axe still stuck in the vice as he felt around the floor and picked up the axe head when he found it. She marveled at the clean cut through the metal near the handle. Not bad for a blind kid.

"Okay, now we can start to melt it down." he walked over to the forge, and Astrid was surprised at the ease with which he dodged the anvil in the middle of the room. He held his hand close to the forge and breathed in the smoke.

"Okay, I think it's the right temperature. In the closet there should be a b-bag of iron ore, it's the small gray balls. Can you get t-two or three of those?" he asked her, as he placed the axe head in the forge. She could hear him pump the bellows as she walked over to the closet and found the iron ore next to the bag of coal.

She picked out three medium sized clumps and brought them to Hiccup. "Are these okay?" she asked him as she put them in his hands. She was surprised at how different this was from dragon training. In training she was the expert, she knew what she was doing. But here, she was completely reliant on Hiccup. She didn't like this feeling of not being in control, but if this was what it would take to repair her axe she would take it.

He felt them for a moment, before announcing his approval. "These are great!" he told her with a smile as he dropped them in the forge as well. He missed one, and it rolled away. "Oh crap!" he said as he moved his hands over the floor, trying to find the little clump. She grinned as she picked up the iron ore and threw it in the forge.

Maybe Hiccup wasn't completely in control here.

"Oh, you got it..." he mumbled as he heard the clank of the iron ore colliding with the other parts in the forge. He stood up awkwardly. "Uhm, it will take a few minutes before the iron has melted enough to use it. I'll keep an eye on the temperature and the bellows. You can take a break, if you want," he said as he went back to pumping the bellows, using his entire body as leverage to move the large pump.

Astrid felt kind of bad for leaving him to do most of the work, but she supposed he was the expert, so he should control the forge. She walked around the smithy, studying the various tools and trying to guess their use.

She noticed a curtain shielding a small part of the smithy from view. Curious, she pulled it aside and looked around.

Inside the little room she saw a desk filled with papers, schematics, small wooden and iron parts and models, and other stuff. She saw more drawings on the walls. All the drawings were annotated with the same blocky handwriting she had seen on the papers in Hiccup's room, and she realized Hiccup must have made these. She quietly walked inside and took a closer look.

The diagrams seemed to be plans for weird weapons. She saw some kind of hollow tube on wheels with bolas flying out of it. The paper was labeled 'Mangler', and there was a note scribbled at the bottom: "Needs more calibration testing!" Below that one was some weird device with spinning swords, labeled 'The Mutilator'. There were many others: new types of catapults, arrows with strange hooks attached to them, and some things where she couldn't even fathom how they worked.

She had never seen this side of Hiccup. Like she has said earlier, he just didn't seem to be the dragon-killing type. But maybe this was his way of helping in the war, by making strange machines that would do the fighting for him.

While she couldn't picture herself using any of these strange contraptions, she felt sad that now Hiccup would probably never get the chance to build them because of his blindness.

"Astrid? Could you take a look at the iron?" Hiccup suddenly called, and she was shaken from her thoughts. She walked back to him, and looked at the iron. It seemed to be slightly liquid now, glowing with a bright yellow color.

"Uhm, it seems to have melted," she said, unsure of what he wanted to know.

"What color is it?" he asked her.

"Sort of between yellow and orange," she replied.

"Okay, that's perfect," he said as he grabbed a clamp from the nearby table and poked around the bowl with it, trying the grab the clump of iron. After a few failed attempts he turned to her.

"Can you grab the iron and place it on the anvil?" he said, his face red.

"Okay," she said as she took the clamp from him. She grabbed the iron with it and lifted it. It was in a strange form where it wasn't entirely solid, but it didn't fall like a liquid either. After she put it on the anvil she could vaguely see the imprint of the clamp in the shape of the iron.

Astrid looked up to see Hiccup searching through the pile of tools. A few moments later he picked up a hammer and walked over to the anvil. He held the hammer in his left hand and used his right to feel around for the anvil. When he found it, he moved his hand around the hot metal.

He suddenly raised the hammer and smashed the molten iron. Sparks flew off, and Astrid could vaguely see a dent in the shape where Hiccup had hit it. He kept striking, missing the anvil several times. She saw him grimace every time that happened.

After a few strikes, he moved his right hand around the metal while keeping a healthy distance away from it, apparently trying to guess its shape.

"Should I describe what it looks like?" she asked.

Hiccup stopped feeling and sighed deeply, his arm falling to his side. "No, that's no use. I need to know where I strike, how thick the metal is, what its precise shape is, but I doubt you can describe it as well as I need it. I have no idea what its shape is right now, I can only feel where the stupid stuff vaguely is because of the heat..."

He kept talking, his voice growing louder with his frustration. He started pacing back and forth while covering his face with his hands. Astrid didn't know what to do. Should she stop him?

"But I can't work unless I can see it, which I can't because of this gods damned blindness!" Astrid winced at this comment. She felt terrible seeing Hiccup like this, knowing it was because of her.

"Maybe if I could feel its shape I could do it, but I can't touch it without my hands ending up like my face! I'd need fireproof hands or something..." Hiccup suddenly froze, his hands falling back to his side.

He suddenly started laughing. "Of course! Why didn't I think of that earlier?" he said between his bouts of laughter.

Astrid finally dared to talk, wondering if the frustration had driven Hiccup over the edge of madness. "Think of what?" she softly asked.

He turned in her direction. "The glove! Astrid, in the chest there should be a red glove! Can you find that?" he asked while gesturing wildly towards the counter. She saw a large chest underneath the counter, and moved to open it.

Inside was a messy pile of all kinds of items: Hammers, knives, a small shield, various attachments for Gobber's arm, and at the bottom was a strange dark red glove. She picked it up, marveling at the strange material. It seemed to be some kind of leather, but she had never seen anything like it.

She walked back towards Hiccup, who was randomly moving his arms around while talking to himself. "...but what would Gobber say? Ah, I'm sure he'd be fine with it. Would he? Well, I need it, so..." he muttered, when Astrid interrupted him.

"Here it is." she said as she put the glove in his right hand.

"Yeah! That's it! Th-Thanks Astrid!" Hiccup said as he put the glove on.

"So… what is that?" she decided to ask, hopelessly confused. She never liked feeling confused.

"It's dragonhide, Astrid! It's a dragonhide glove, and it's fireproof! It's made from Monstrous Nightmare scales, and they can set themselves on fire without being hurt!" he said, as she slowly started to understand what he was going on about.

"I was never actually allowed to use it by Gobber, it's very rare and expensive, but it's an emergency, so…" he continued to talk as he walked back to the anvil.

Very hesitantly, he moved his right hand, the hand wearing the glove, towards the metal, and when it touched the glowing iron, the biggest grin she had ever seen appeared on his face.

"Hahaha! Gods: Zero. Hiccup: One! The gods may hate me, but I'm not done yet! Take that, Odin! I'm still good for something!" Hiccup shouted in glee while starting a little dance. He looked utterly ridiculous, but Astrid couldn't help but smile as his enthusiasm started to affect her as well.

She gently hit his shoulder in celebration, and Hiccup suddenly froze as his grin made way for a mortified expression.

"Oh. A-Astrid! C-Can we pretend that n-never h-happened?" he asked with an embarrassed voice.

Grinning, she hit his arm. "Only if you can fix my axe now," she said.

His grin returned as his hand started to feel the shape of the iron. "I'd say we can forge a deal," he said, raising the hammer once more.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Two hours later Astrid looked down on the fruit of their labor. The past few hours they had both been working hard to recreate the axe blade. Hiccup, now knowing where to strike, had used various hammers to shape the iron into the correct shape.

Astrid had been busy as well. Hiccup kept finding new things for her to do: Sort various tools, bring more cold water from the well to quickly cool the metal with, keep the forge heated to the correct temperature.

And describe the color of the metal. Hiccup had asked her about the color of the molten iron almost every minute. He had explained that it was crucial to know what the color of the metal was, since that determined what the exact temperature was. And apparently the iron should only be shaped when it was a certain temperature, otherwise it would become brittle and weak, destined to shatter the first time it was used.

But now it was done, and to Astrid's untrained eye it looked as strong as it was before. It wasn't completely finished yet: The edge still had to be sharpened, and there where still various bumps and ridges on the blade that would have to be chiseled off. But they wouldn't need the forge for that.

They would only need the forge for one more thing: Weld the axe head to the rest of the axe. She listened closely as he explained how they had to do this final step.

"Okay, here's what we're going to do. I'm going to use the glove and this clamp to hold the edge of the axe head into the coals. You'll hold the axe by the handle and hold its edge into the fire the same way. Then we need to wait until they're both white-hot," Hiccup told her, gesturing wildly with his arms towards the forge and the axe, still in the vice. Astrid nodded. Just watch for the color, that didn't seem too hard.

"You'll need to warn me when they're white-hot. If they are, you need to hold this iron stick to the edge, and see if it sticks. If it does, it's hot enough, and we can weld them together. I'll remove my piece first, and put it on the anvil. Then, you remove your axe and put it on the anvil as well, against my piece, so the edges are touching. You understand it so far?" he asked. Astrid nodded as she marveled at how much more confident Hiccup seemed to have become in a few hours.

When they entered the forge he could barely ask her anything without stuttering and blushing. Now, he seemed to be talking to her with more confidence, having noticed that she had followed his orders and seemed genuinely interested in learning about blacksmithing.

"Uhm, Astrid? Did you understand that?" he asked, and she realized he hadn't seen her nodding.

"Yeah, I get it," she said nervously. They were so close to the end, and she didn't want to screw it up now.

"Okay, so when the pieces are in place I need you to take the clamp from me and hold both the pieces in place while I feel with the glove and use this hammer…" he gestured to a small hammer lying on the edge of the anvil.

"...to weld the pieces together. At one point you're going to have to turn them around, so I can hammer the other side. You will have to pick both pieces up gently..." he stressed that last word like he doubted she could do that, and she glared at him, realizing after a moment that that was useless. She could be gentle if she wanted to. And yet it didn't insult her as much as she'd expected. Over the past few hours she had gotten used to his little jokes, and she started to appreciate his sarcastic humor.

"...and turn them upside down without moving them apart from each other. They will be stuck together, but the bond will still be weak, so too much force will tear them apart again. Once you put it back on the anvil, tell me and I will hammer the other side. Then we'll just have to let it cool down naturally and it will be done!" he finished with a smile.

It seemed easy enough. She was surprised by his easy enthusiasm for this work. He had seemed so out of place in dragon training, but in here he was in his element. He knew where everything was (though he still needed Astrid to pick things up when he dropped them), and he tried to explain the process as best he could to Astrid.

Sure, at times he tended to ramble on a bit, and sometimes he clamped up when he did something embarrassing, but Astrid marveled at how easily she could work with him. It seemed to come naturally, even with his blindness. They worked together like they had been doing this for years. She always understood his clear instructions, unlike her father's lessons on complicated combat moves.

And he seemed to be happy to be able to explain the process to her, sometimes apparently getting ideas on how to smith more efficiently just by talking to her. He'd stop in the middle of a sentence and get a smile on his face while walking over to the pile of tools to pick up an obscure knife or something. He'd completely forget about her, yet she couldn't feel angry about it. She could almost see those gears in his head turning as he muttered to himself about using chisels to flatten the metal, or measure the length of the iron by using needles.

After a while she would get impatient and she'd walk over and punch him softly on his arm. His face would turn bright red as he'd start stuttering. She would smile about it, and he'd become enthusiastic again when she'd ask him to explain what he'd just come up with.

"You ready?" Hiccup suddenly asked her, shaking her from her thoughts. Right, they were going to do this final step.

"Yeah, I'm ready," she said as she grabbed the handle of her axe, tapping audibly on the metal to make sure Hiccup heard it.

"Okay then. Let's put both parts in at the same time. In three, two, one..." he counted down, and at "Go!" they both put their respective parts into the blazing fire. Hiccup had instructed her to build the fire even higher than it had been before by putting in more coals and pumping the bellows like her life depended on it. Breathing became difficult as she bend down to take a close look at the color of the metal. When it became white, she pressed the small stick of iron against the edge.

"It's getting stuck!" she said to Hiccup as she needed a surprising amount of force to pull the stick loose.

"Okay," he said, and he swung his own piece out of the fire, turning around and placing it on the anvil with surprising precision for a blind kid.

"Now you put the rest in its place quickly!" He told her. She obeyed, taking the handle with both hands and turning around to place it next to the blade, being careful not to hit Hiccup. She definitely didn't want to hurt him with this axe ever again.

"Okay, it's in place," she said, a little out of breath from inhaling so much smoke. She used one hand to grab Hiccup's clamp, keeping the other on her axe handle. "I've got the clamp," she told him.

Hiccup wasted no time. He walked around the anvil and used his right hand with the glove to quickly feel where the edge was, while his left hand grabbed the hammer. She expected him to use the large swings he had been using the entire time, and she was surprised when he only used the small hammer to gently tap on the metal, lifting the tool no higher than an inch.

After about a minute of him gently tapping the white-hot line and feeling it with the glove, he suddenly stepped back. "Final step, Astrid: Just turn it over," he told her with an excited voice.

She carefully lifted her arms and gently crossed them, terrified the entire thing would suddenly fall apart. She sighed in relief as she put the pieces back on the anvil, and she quickly switched which hands held which part. Hiccup wasted no time when he heard the clank of the axe meeting the anvil, and he stepped forward again, glove at the ready to locate the molten iron.

She couldn't help but smile as he gently started tapping the iron again. That was probably what surprised her the most about this morning. She had been surprised by how fun it was to work with Hiccup in the forge. She didn't know if it was the excitement of working with the dangerously hot materials, or that she was doing something other than her strict training schedule, or simply the fact that she was working with someone else.

For the past years, she had always trained alone or with her father, and she couldn't deny that there was something nice about having someone next to her that talked to her like she was a human being instead of a faceless soldier. It was fun listening to his terrible jokes. She couldn't remember the last time she had laughed so much. Even when she couldn't help but groan at a terrible pun she felt lighter than she had in years. Her father always told her that there was no room for fun on the battlefield. But she wasn't on the battlefield now, and it just felt so nice to be able to laugh freely that she couldn't feel guilty about it.

Suddenly she could hear a sound other than the clanking of Hiccup's hammering. She barely had time to think about it when the door swung open and Gobber walked in.

"Ruffnut, Tuffnut, have you been burning stuff in the forge again?" he shouted in an angry voice, before his eyes landed on Astrid. She saw Hiccup stiffening.

"Astrid? What are you..." he started before he saw Hiccup bend over the anvil.

"Hiccup?! What are you doing in here? You should be in bed!" Gobber asked him, looking shocked.

"One second, Gobber," Hiccup told him before starting to hammer the iron again. No one spoke in the next few seconds, Gobber apparently too shocked by the scene to speak. After a few moments Hiccup put the hammer down. "Done!" he said in an excited tone.

"Done with what?" Gobber asked apprehensively.

"We fixed Astrid's axe!" Hiccup said, gesturing dramatically towards the axe on the anvil.

"But… you're blind. How?" Gobber asked, staring at the axe with an unbelieving expression.

"I helped. I told Hiccup what color the metal was and grabbed stuff for him," Astrid said.

"But… So… you can use still use the forge? Even with all… this?" Gobber asked Hiccup while gesturing in his general direction.

"You just gestured to all of me, didn't you?" Hiccup said in a sarcastic tone, then he turned towards Astrid. "But to answer your question, yes. Astrid was pretty good for a rookie," he said, smiling.

"Right. Well, since my manly apprentice has been doing so great, I guess he can finish it as well," Gobber said to Astrid, pointing towards the axe. "I just remembered I forgot something… outside…by the sheep... I'm just gonna go," he said as he walked outside.

An awkward silence followed, as Hiccup's face became completely red. "Gobber," he eventually said in an explaining tone, gesturing towards the door. Astrid couldn't help but snort, and that broke the ice.

"Well, I'd say we have an axe to grind," Hiccup joked, walking towards the sharpening wheel.

Astrid groaned at the bad joke before following him, thinking that maybe helping Hiccup wouldn't be the horrid chore she had thought it to be.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As Astrid guided him back up the hill to his house, Hiccup felt happy that he was still able to use the forge, but that happiness was tempered by the fact that he needed someone to help him with it. Astrid had been a great assistant, but he still felt apprehensive and awkward around her. In the forge they had been able to talk about blacksmithing, and she had even laughed at some of his jokes. But now that their work was complete an awkward silence grew between them again, neither knowing what to say.

He could hear her swinging and turning her axe with the hand that wasn't guiding him. She seemed to be happy with how her axe turned out. Hiccup felt proud that he had been able to make it with his condition, but it had felt odd to repair the weapon that had played such an instrumental role in causing his blindness.

He considered asking Astrid how she felt about dragon training to break the silence. But that would be too close to talking about what happened in dragon training, and he didn't want to remind her of that. He had no idea how she felt about what had happened. Hel, Hiccup had no idea how he felt about it.

All he knew was that she was suddenly helping him. Her mood seemed to swing back and forth between distant and excited, but she was helping him. "Why?" he wondered. Did she feel guilty? Was she forced to by Gobber? Did she feel sorry for him?

Hiccup simply had no idea, and he was afraid she might use that newly fixed axe against him if he asked her.

"We're here," Astrid said to him as she released his arm. He moved his arm forward and felt the door in front of him.

"Thanks," he said, unsure of what to do now.

"I'm going to train now, I really want to try out this new axe!" Astrid suddenly spoke. "Got to stay in shape! I've got to win dragon training, you know? I promised my parents..." her voice suddenly faltered. Hiccup wasn't sure why, and he didn't know what to say.

 _"Were you trying to take out the competition?"_ he suddenly thought, and the thought shocked him. She wouldn't do that! It was an accident. She never meant to do it.

Right?

He wanted to ask her, but he didn't dare. Before he could muster up the courage to bring it up, Astrid spoke again.

"Anyway, we're going to have dinner on the watchtower tonight. I guess you should come too, because I doubt you can cook, since… Yeah..." her voice faltered once again.

"Okay, I guess I'll see you tonight, then?" Hiccup said, before realizing: "I mean, I won't see you, but, you know..." he finished, sure his face was bright red.

"Uh, yeah. See ya, Hiccup," Astrid said, and he heard her running away towards the south.

And then he was alone.

He entered the house and searched for something to eat. He guessed it was around lunchtime, but he wasn't sure now that he couldn't see what the position of the sun was. The cupboards were all empty, so Hiccup lifted the cover to the cellar and climbed down the ladder.

Shivering in the freezing air that was always present in the cellar, he felt around for food. His hand soon landed on a piece of bread, and he brought it to his mouth.

 _"At least it's easier to eat than stew,"_ he thought as he searched for a place to sit down. He didn't think he could climb the ladder with the bread. As he searched for a box or something, his hand landed in a big barrel of raw fish.

The fish reminded him of the Night Fury in the woods. He had almost forgotten about him with all that had happened, but now it all came flooding back. The attempts of the dragon to fly out of the cove, the curious look in his eyes, and his unsuccessful attempts to fish in the lake.

Hiccup felt guilty again as he remembered the dragon was stuck there because of him. He was sure the Night Fury would die if Hiccup didn't do something.

A plan began to formulate in Hiccup's mind as he ate the bread. It seemed crazy, but hadn't he thought the same thing about repairing the axe? But then Astrid was there to protect and help him. If he did this, he would be on his own. He would have to find his way through the forest to the cove blindly. He remembered the way he had walked back that day, and he had a clear mental map of the forest in his head since he spend so much time there.

It seemed so risky. If he got lost he would possibly never find his way back. He would have to wait until the villagers found him, if they would even bother sending out a search party.

But the dragon would die if he didn't go. He might be blinded, but the dragon was in even more trouble. And on that thought Hiccup grabbed the largest fish he could find as he ate the last of his bread.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hiccup sighed as he walked through the northern forest. Who knew there were so many trees here? He had been walking for about half an hour. He had started by following Astrid's stones to the hot springs, and then carefully walking around the springs to reach the forest.

He had put the fish in his pocket and he held his dagger in his hand. He doubted he would have a chance to defend himself if he was attacked, but he used the dagger to mark the trees he passed. He had realized he needed a contingency plan if he got lost, so he carved arrows into the trees, pointing back towards the previous tree he marked. That way, he hoped he would be able to find his way back if he got lost or walked in circles. He'd just have to find one of the arrows.

Hiccup was fairly certain he was walking in the right direction, but he wasn't sure how much distance he had traversed. Marking the trees he passed took a lot of time, and he hoped he wouldn't have to mark every tree in the forest.

Just when he started to wonder if should turn into a different direction he walked into a rock wall. He remembered that the cove had been surrounded by high stone walls, so he eagerly moved along the wall, hoping he would find a way in. Luckily he only had to walk for about a minute before he reached a small crack in the stone and squeezed his way through.

When he felt the tunnel widen he suddenly realized that walking straight into the home of a dragon might not be the smartest thing to do. He threw the fish into the cove, hoping to draw the dragon out. He waited for a few minutes with bated breath, but he couldn't hear anything but the birds singing. Slowly he crawled into the cove and picked up the fish. Was he even in the right place? Maybe this was a different valley?

He remembered the dragon's cove contained a large lake, and he slowly walked forward to check if there was a lake here while he put his dagger back in its sheath. Every step he first checked with his foot if there was water in front of him.

Suddenly he heard a sound to the left of him. He froze as he heard something big move in front of him. When he heard the growl, he knew he was in the right valley.

Trembling, he held the fish out, hoping the dragon would accept it as a peace offering instead of an appetizer. The dragon made a sound that sounded happy, and he could hear it, him, moving closer. Suddenly he started growling again like he accused Hiccup of treachery.

Hiccup briefly wondered if he had done something to offend the dragon, when he remembered the knife at his side. Did the dragon feel threatened by it? He moved his right hand to the knife and the growling grew louder.

Very slowly, he drew the knife from the sheath, then moved it to his side. He hoped the dragon would interpret Hiccup disarming himself as Hiccup being a friend, instead of Hiccup being an easy prey. He suddenly wondered if the dragon knew he was blind.

Holding his breath he threw the knife to his right as far as he could, and a moment later a splashing sound confirmed that there was indeed a lake. The dragon made a happy sound, so Hiccup held out the fish again. The curious sounds came closer, the dragon warbling various tones that sounded both happy and surprised.

Then Hiccup heard a sound like a weapon being drawn, and the fish was snatched out of his hand. The dragon chewed once, then swallowed the fish. Hiccup swore he could hear the dragon licking his lips as it made a cheerful sound.

Suddenly the dragon's warbling became softer, and he could hear it moving closer to him, sniffing. "I don't have any more!" Hiccup said as he walked backwards before stumbling over a rock. "Please don't eat me!" he muttered as he sensed the dragon's head above him. Then the dragon did something Hiccup certainly hadn't expected. It started to make retching noises, and without warning he felt something fall on his chest.

As soon as his hands touched it he recognized the slimy texture of the fish, now half eaten and covered in dragon drool. Hiccup was unsure what to do. Was this a peace offering from the Night Fury? An insult? A declaration of war? He heard the dragon move a few yards away from him, but he was sure it was still watching him closely.

Hiccup sat as still as he could, not wanting to aggravate the creature. It made an impatient noise, then Hiccup could hear it chew loudly, before making an exaggerated swallowing noise.

Hiccup started to understand what the dragon wanted him to do. He briefly considered refusing, but he didn't want to screw up what was apparently a sign of friendship from a dragon. Sighing deeply, he raised the fish to his mouth and took a bite.

He tried desperately not to vomit as the disgusting taste hit him. He chewed loudly, hoping it would please the dragon, but it merely made swallowing noises.

 _"The gods really do hate me,"_ Hiccup thought as he chewed until he could swallow the raw fish. It was the most horrible thing he had ever eaten, but he tried not to show the disgust on his face, afraid of insulting the Night Fury.

He forced a smile, and suddenly he heard the dragon come closer, making more happy sounds. Gathering all his courage, Hiccup held out his hand to touch the dragon. However, apparently it ( _he_ , Hiccup reminded himself) didn't like that, since he immediately growled at him before flying away. Hiccup heard it land a few dozen yards away.

Fairly confident the dragon wouldn't eat him, he started walking towards the dragon. Suddenly he stepped into water, and he realized he reached the edge of the lake. He started walking around it, careful not to fall into the water.

As he walked around the lake Hiccup heard the dragon use his firebreath, and as he came closer he felt heat coming from the ground. He slowly walked towards the source of the heat with his hand in front of him.

"I'm a friend." he said, but the dragon only growled at him. He moved forward again when he heard the tail wrap around his body. He reached forward, but when he touched the leathery texture of the tail it moved away, and the dragon roared at him.

Stumbling back, he decided to let the dragon be for now, hoping it would come to him if he showed it he was not a threat. He walked away and thought about what he could do. He suddenly fell down when he stumbled over a stick, and he got an idea.

He picked up the stick and started drawing in the dirt at his feet. He tried to recall what the Night Fury looked like, and drew his strange head as best he could.

His right hand traced the lines he made and he was fairly certain it was a terrible drawing. In the next moment, however, his heart skipped a beat as he felt a curious warble next to him. Realizing the dragon was watching him, Hiccup continued to draw, periodically feeling the lines.

Suddenly he sensed the dragon move away. Sounds like a tree being uprooted reached his ears, and then the dragon moved around him, dragging something through the dirt. Every now and then the Night Fury stopped moving for a moment and stamped its large paws into the ground. After about three circles around Hiccup the dragon stopped, and made a weird sound.

Hiccup slowly stood up, and moved towards the dragon. His foot landed in a ridge in the dirt, and the dragon growled. He lifted his foot, and the dragon immediately stopped and instead produced a friendly sound. Hiccup frowned as he tried it again, getting the same resulting noises from the Night Fury.

He suddenly got an idea, and stepped back. He bend down, and put his right hand on the ridge. The dragon didn't growl. Instead, it produced a curious noise. Encouraged, Hiccup crawled in a random direction, eager to explore the pattern the dragon had drawn. He used his right hand to feel around for lines, and then avoided touching them with his legs.

After a minute of this Hiccup's heart skipped another beat when he felt the dragon's breath hit his neck. He slowly stood up, trying not to freak out about the dragon right behind him. He took a step away from the dragon and lifted his arm again.

He heard the dragon growl softly, but it didn't fly away this time. How could he get it to trust him? How could he show the dragon he was not a threat?

Hiccup suddenly remembered something his father once said. _"The only people you can trust are the people who submit to you. Because people will only submit to you when you've beaten them, so they won't be a threat,"_ he had told Hiccup one time after he had returned from a gathering of chiefs.

So Hiccup submitted to the dragon. He fell down to his knees and turned his head to face the ground. Only then did he raise his hand again.

There was complete silence for a few seconds, and just when Hiccup thought it had failed, something scaly touched his palm. He gasped as he felt the warm dragonskin on his hand, and somehow he felt more connected to this creature than to any human he had ever met. He slowly lifted his head and gently moved his hand over the dragon's face, trying to touch more of him.

The dragon warbled as Hiccup touched his nose, and suddenly a paw was placed on Hiccup's face. He gasped as the dragon explored his face in return, warbling happily.

They continued to explore each others faces. The dragon seemed especially curious about the bandages, repeatedly swiping its paw over them while making curious sounds. Hiccup's hand suddenly slipped into the dragon's open mouth, and he touched the slimy gums. The dragon drew back a bit, but it didn't bite his hand off.

Hiccup suddenly realized he couldn't feel any teeth. There were only gums. He drew his hand back, and as he did so the dragon put its paw back on the ground.

"Toothless, huh?" Hiccup said as he reached out to touch the dragon's face again. "I think this is the beginning of a wonderful friendship."


	8. Back to Normal

As Hiccup made his way back through the forest he thought about the dragon. It was more intelligent than Hiccup had ever imagined. It was clear that dragons, or at least Night Furies, had rituals and gestures of friendship. The dragon had recognized his dagger as a weapon. And last but not least, the toothless dragon had copied his behavior and drawn in the dirt, using a tree branch as a tool.

It didn't fit in with what Hiccup had been told all his life. Dragons had always been mindless savage animals, not capable of thought or reasoning, not able to feel any emotion other than rage. But now he had met a dragon that hadn't attacked him when he had the chance, that had been curious and eager to learn. He had met a creature that was more like Hiccup than any Viking he knew.

It was not just an animal, or a dragon. It was an individual with his own set of emotions and instincts. _"And a strange toothless mouth,"_ Hiccup's mind added. He thought about it more. The creature was so incredible he deserved his own name. Not just 'the Night Fury' or 'the dragon'. Hiccup tried to think of a name that was unique, that fitted this dragon and no other that he had ever seen. He thought about the dragon raids, and the rampaging dragons fighting everything in sight. The Night Fury had done none of that, it had only attacked from a distance, destroying catapults and towers instead of people. It had not attacked Hiccup, and it had even treated him with curiosity and respect. He thought about the dragon's mouth, and he knew he had found the perfect name.

 _"Toothless. It fits both his physical appearance and his nonviolent nature,"_ he thought as he tripped over a tree root.

By following the arrows he had carved in the trees earlier he made his way back to the house. He remembered that Astrid was going to take him to the watchtower for dinner, and he realized he had no idea what time it was. Hopefully Astrid wasn't waiting for him at the house. She might have been surprisingly eager to help him, but he didn't want to explain what he had been doing in the forest.

He walked through the front door without meeting anybody, and he found a chair to sit down as he waited for Astrid. As he waited, he wondered who else would be at dinner. Astrid had referred to a 'we', but who did she mean by that? Her and Gobber? The other teenagers?

He suddenly realized it might be way past dinnertime already. Maybe Astrid had tried to find him here and had already left. He suddenly felt incredibly isolated, knowing he wouldn't be able to make his way to the watchtower on his own. He couldn't even make his way to the Great Hall, or the forge. He vaguely knew what direction they were in, but the idea of navigating the village terrified him. At least in the forest no one had been around to see him stumble and fail, and he figured the Vikings wouldn't be happy if he carved arrows into their houses.

He stood up to go to the outhouse. After touching the first few stones, Hiccup didn't bother finding the rest of them, knowing they were in a straight line to the outhouse. When he entered the little hut Hiccup suddenly realized he hadn't needed all the stones, as long as he knew what direction and what distance he had to walk. As he did his business, an idea popped into his mind. He decided to ask Astrid to help him with it, if she was still coming.

When he stood up, he heard Astrid shout his name. He walked back as fast as he could, while shouting back "I'm over here, Astrid!"

"Oh. Let's go to the watchtower, we're already late," Hiccup heard her say as she ran over to him.

"Uhm. A-Astrid? Can I ask you something?" He said when she grabbed his arm.

He could feel her stiffen, and her grip on his arm intensified. After a few seconds she finally responded with a hesitant "Okay."

"I was just wondering if we could pass by the forge first. I don't need anything from there, but maybe if we walked over there I though I could count my steps, and then maybe in the future I could walk there on my own, so you don't have to accompany me every time and…" he suddenly realized he was rambling, and quickly shut up. When he stopped talking, he thought he could hear Astrid sigh like she was relieved, but he wasn't sure.

"Oh. Okay, I guess we could do that. Shall we start from your front door?" she said.

He nodded, and she guided him to the door. "Okay, we're just outside your house now," She said.

"What direction are we facing?" he asked her.

"Uh… The door is behind you now, so I guess you're standing like you just walked out of the house," she said after she turned him a bit.

"Okay. Let's go," he said.

They started walking in silence, Hiccup counting his steps. After 27 steps she stopped him. "Okay, we're on the bottom of the hill now, and we need to turn left," She grabbed his shoulders and turned him easily. He briefly considered using his knife to carve an arrow into the stone under him, but then he remembered he had thrown it away in the cove. Before he could think more on it, Astrid grabbed his arm again and started walking.

Hiccup started counting his steps again, and after 44 steps she stopped him again. "We're in the village square now, so the forge is directly to the right," She grabbed his shoulders and turned him again. He could hear people whispering around him, and he blushed as he thought about all the people who were watching him get dragged around by Astrid.

"Nearly there." Astrid said as she dragged him forward again, and after 6 steps he felt the door in front of him. Hiccup figured he could remember that. 27 steps, left, 44 steps, right, 6 steps. He hoped he could do it as he thought back on what happened the previous night, when he had tried to find the outhouse.

"Thanks, Astrid. Lets go to the watchtower," he said. They walked in silence again. Hiccup tried to ignore the whispering, but he couldn't help but overhear snippets of conversation.

"… would Stoick say?"

"Do you think Astrid did it on purpose?"

"...least he can't destroy the village anymore."

"Poor Astrid, forced to drag him…"

"...disgrace to her family..."

Astrid only response was to quicken her pace, causing Hiccup to stumble as he tried to keep up with her. Soon they reached the outskirts of the village, and the whispering stopped. Hiccup knew the villagers didn't like him, but it had hurt that they seemed to sympathize more with Stoick and Astrid than with him, even though he was the one who was permanently blind.

He wondered if Astrid sympathized with him. Did she feel sorry for him? Is that her reason for helping him? Or is she simply forced to do so, and did she hate him as much as the rest of the village? Maybe his mind was tainted by hope, but somehow he didn't believe she hated him. She had laughed and worked with him in the forge that morning. Didn't that mean something?

Part of him wanted to ask her about the accident (if it was an accident) and why she was helping him. But he didn't dare. He was afraid of driving her away if he asked her about it. They seemed to have some sort of uneasy alliance now, but he was terrified of shattering that fragile bond.

Thinking about their bond made him think about the work they had done today. "So, how did training go? Is the axe okay?" he asked tentatively.

Yeah, it's good. It needs a bit of rebalancing, but you didn't do a bad job for a blind kid," she said enthusiastically, but the air grew heavier when she said the b-word. Neither seemed to know what to say when it was mentioned.

"Oh, that's good to hear," he eventually said after a few awkward seconds, and they lapsed into silence again. Suddenly the ground sloped, and he realized they were on the ramp to the watchtower. The watchtowers had ramps instead of stairs to make it easier to move catapults and rocks to the top.

As they walked up Hiccup could hear Gobber telling the story of how he lost his limbs. Hiccup had heard it many times, and the tale seemed to become more ridiculous every time he told it.

If Gobber was talking, that meant that the other teens were there as well. Hiccup hoped that they would be captivated by Gobber's story so they wouldn't notice Astrid's and his arrival. He tried to walk as quietly as he could as the ground flattened again, but his foot hit a plate, creating a loud clanking noise.

Gobber stopped talking about the Nightmare (which had been a Gronkle when Hiccup first heard the story) and stood up.

"Nice of you to join the party!" he said. "I thought you had fallen off the cliff or something."

Hiccup blushed, and he could hear the other teens snigger. Astrid roughly dragged him a few yards away, and then pushed him down onto a log. All of her gentleness of earlier was gone, and Hiccup tried not to feel hurt about that. She had an image to preserve, he understood she couldn't be seen treating the village outcast nicely.

But he wondered which Astrid was the real Astrid. Was this rough treatment fake, or was it what she really wanted to do to him?

Before any of the teens could speak up, Gobber continued his tale, talking about how the dragon had told the others how delicious he was. He could hear Astrid sit down next to him, and suddenly she placed a stick in his hand. She didn't say anything, so he ran his fingers over it, discovering it was a raw fish on a stick.

He could feel the heat of a fire in front of him, so he stuck his fish forward, hoping it was close enough to the flames. He hoped Astrid would tell him when it was done, but he supposed he couldn't expect help with Snotlout so close.

Gobber concluded his tale with the story of how another Nightmare (which had originally been a flock of Terrible Terrors) had eaten his leg. Hiccup had never really thought about it, but he was impressed by the ease with which Gobber talked about his missing limbs.

Hiccup wondered if he would ever talk about his blindness like that, joking and making up stories. He supposed his story wasn't a very impressive one, but he couldn't imagine making up stories to make it seem cooler. He could barely believe the story as it was now, and he certainly couldn't consider any of this to be 'cool'.

The other teens seemed to disagree, gasping and awing at Gobber's story. Snotlout even started ranting about how he would rip off the legs of every dragon he'd fight to avenge Gobber's limbs. Hiccup could sense Astrid become tense when Snotlout talked, but she didn't say anything. He felt hurt that Snotlout was ready to avenge the injuries that Gobber sustained decades ago, but still beat him up every chance he had.

Apparently Snotlout only felt protective of real Vikings.

But Hiccup's thoughts were interrupted when Gobber started talking again. "It's the wings and the tail you really want. If it can't fly, it can't get away."

Hiccup silently nodded. He had seen that himself, with the Night Fury trapped in the cove. But guilt overwhelmed him with Gobber's next words: "A downed dragon is a dead dragon."

Hiccup had figured that out himself, but it still hit hard to hear someone else confirm it. By firing those bolas Hiccup had downed Toothless. And now that his tail fin was cut off, he couldn't fly anymore. He couldn't hunt, and he would starve if Hiccup didn't feed him.

He felt sick that this creature that he felt so connected to was starving because of him. Letting him die was not an option in his mind. But what could he do? Bring him food every day? That might work for a while, but inevitably someone would notice him taking a lot of fish.

It would also keep Toothless confined to the cove. He wouldn't be able to meet other dragons, fly, play, mate, and all the other stuff Hiccup supposed dragons do. What worth would life have for the dragon in that lonely prison?

The only way for Toothless to live was to fly. But to fly, he would need an intact tail fin.

When the thought first crossed Hiccup's mind he almost dismissed it immediately. Impossible. Crazy. Stupid. But the more he thought about it, the more he became convinced that it might be the only solution.

The important question was: could he make a new tail fin by himself, without anybody noticing? He knew he couldn't let anyone know about the dragon. They would kill him immediately, and Hiccup couldn't risk that happening.

His thoughts were interrupted again by Gobber speaking up again. "On that note, tomorrow we'll have dragon training again, and I expect all of you to be there. That means you too."

It wasn't until the other teens gasped that he realized Gobber had referred to him. "Me?" he asked.

"Yes, you. I'm impressed by how well you did in the forge today, and I'm curious to see how you'll do in the ring tomorrow," Gobber said in a light tone. Hiccup wasn't sure this was a good idea, but he didn't want to protest it in front of everyone, so he silently nodded.

"Tomorrow, we'll get to the big boys, slowly but surely working our way up to the Monstrous Nightmare. But who'll win the honor of killing it?" Gobber said dramatically.

 _"Not me, that's for certain,"_ Hiccup thought, as his hypothesis that the gods were punishing him for helping Toothless became more and more likely.

Thankfully, Gobber's mention of the ultimate prize had diverted the teens' attention away from Hiccup again. Fishlegs was calculating the likelihood of the different recruits winning, and the twins argued loudly about tattoos. The argument soon turned violent, and he could hear Snotlout shout angrily when Tuffnut was pushed against him by his sister.

With the other teens distracted, Hiccup suddenly felt Astrid lean towards him. "Your food's done," she whispered, and his spirits lifted a bit.

The gods may hate him, but the Valkyrie next to him seemed willing to help him when the others weren't looking. And in that moment, as he savored the taste of the fried fish, that was all that mattered to Hiccup.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next morning went much like the previous one. Astrid brought Hiccup to Gothi's hut, where his bandages were changed. While Gothi and Gobber were busy with Hiccup, Astrid went to the forest to train. Like yesterday afternoon, she marveled at how well her axe performed. It wasn't as good as the original, since the balance was slightly off, but it was a long way off from the ruined axe she had used before.

She was impressed with how well Hiccup could smith, and she wondered why no one ever talked about that when they talked about him. He certainly wasn't as useless as she had believed. He might have been terrible in dragon training, but when she thought about it, he hadn't been worse than the twins or Fishlegs.

She supposed that would change now that Hiccup was forced to participate in dragon training today. She doubted that was a good idea, but she hadn't dared to protest in front of the other teenagers. She had seen the looks they had given her on the watchtower, Tuffnut wiggling his eyebrows like he was suggesting they were a couple, and Snotlout had glared at her when she had given Hiccup his food.

She would have envied Hiccup for not being able to see the glares, but she had noticed that he had reacted to the hostile presence anyway. During the walk up the ramp the joking, excited Hiccup she had seen the past day disappeared to make way for a sullen, quiet Hiccup. He had started walking with his head down and his shoulders hunched, like he wanted to become as small as possible. Even after he had sat down, his legs were bend against his chest, his head 'looking' at the ground.

It was so different from the Hiccup she had seen in the forge. That Hiccup had barely stopped talking, gesturing wildly and running around the forge. He had been so full of life. But at dinner all that life seemed to be drained away by the presence of the other teens.

Maybe he had been more affected by their bullying than she had thought.

After pulling her axe out of a tree Astrid started walking back to Gothi's hut. She wasn't sure how to feel about the upcoming class. On the one hand, she was eager for things to get back to normal. She wanted to be back in training, where she should be. But she wondered if things could ever get back to normal. What if her place wasn't as a lone warrior anymore, but by Hiccup's side?

What if there was no way to go back to normal?

Conflicted, she knocked on the door to Gothi's hut. A few minutes later Hiccup and Gobber walked out. Gobber greeted her while Hiccup said "Bye," to Gothi. She grabbed his arm and followed Gobber, who was already walking down the stairs. She considered talking to Gobber about Hiccup's participation, but she doubted it would be a good idea. He seemed to have his mind made up.

When they arrived at the arena the other teens were already there. When Snotlout saw them, he walked towards them. "Why is class starting so late? Is it because of Hiccup?" he asked angrily. She noticed Hiccup was trying to make himself as small as possible again.

"Yes. Because Hiccup needed to go to Gothi, and Gothi needs me to translate," Gobber said very slowly and clearly, like he was talking to a five year old. Astrid wondered if Snotlout was aware he was being mocked.

"So?! Why does Hiccup need to go to Gothi? Back me on this, Astrid! Don't you agree your time could be better spend hanging out with me?" Snotlout said, flashing her a grin that made her skin crawl. She wanted to punch him, but she didn't think it was a good idea to be violent against classmates in front of Gobber.

Before she could think of a way to tell him she wasn't interested Hiccup suddenly spoke up: "I'm right here, you know," he said in a sarcastic voice.

Snotlout looked like he was going to hit Hiccup, but Gobber grabbed him using his hook and shoved him back into the arena. "We start class when I say so. Do you understand, Snotlout?" Gobber said in a threatening tone.

Behind Snotlout she could see the twins whispering to each other while pointing at Hiccup. Fishlegs was standing next to the wall, looking scared.

Snotlout's face was filled with anger, but he nodded at the large blacksmith towering over him.

"Okay, then. Let's get started. Everyone leave your weapons here and grab a bucket of water," Gobber said, while gesturing to the far side of the arena. Astrid reluctantly laid her axe on the stone floor, and walked over to the buckets. She wondered if Gobber didn't trust her with a weapon after last session.

As she was walking across the arena her eye fell on some small scorch marks on the ground. She recognized them as the marks that had been caused by the dragon fire from her axe. She turned her head away, trying to stop the memories from returning. She could hear Hiccup's screams in her head, and the image of his burned face flashed before her eyes. She turned her head, and saw Hiccup standing were she had left him, looking confused.

Somehow, seeing him helped to stop the flood of guilt threatening to overwhelm her. She could see he wasn't screaming. He was right there, and he was okay. Well, as okay as he would ever be. He didn't seem to be in pain, and the clean bandages covered the burns.

Fairly certain she wouldn't get a panic attack now, she realized Hiccup didn't know where the buckets were. Looking over her shoulder, she saw that Snotlout was arguing with the twins over a bucket. Hoping they wouldn't notice her, she quickly walked back to Hiccup and punched his arm.

"Come on, the buckets are this way," she whispered to him. She guided him towards the buckets as quickly as she could. She noticed the twins had started fighting each other, while Snotlout pulled a bucket out of Fishlegs' hands. She let go of Hiccup to grab a bucket. She handed it to him while keeping an eye on the other teens.

Hiccup nearly dropped the bucket, but he managed to hold on to it without spilling water. "Thanks," he mumbled.

She grabbed a bucket for herself, and then she heard Gobber speak from the entrance of the ring: "Today you're going to work in teams. Astrid, you're with Ruffnut. Tuffnut, you're with Snotlout. And finally, Fishlegs, you're teaming up with Hiccup."

Astrid noticed that Fishlegs only seemed to become more terrified as he walked over to Hiccup. Snotlout walked over to her and said "Don't worry Astrid. Even though you're in a different team, I'll still protect you."

She resisted the urge to punch him, and simply grabbed her bucket and walked towards Ruffnut. At least she wouldn't try to hit on her. Hopefully.

Astrid looked around the arena, and saw that Gobber was standing near the entrance of the ring, next to a lever. Fishlegs and Hiccup were to her left, while Snotlout and Tuffnut were to her right. Gobber pulled the lever down as he explained the lesson.

"Today is about teamwork, since it's clear you need to learn about that," he said, and Astrid wondered if he was referring to her wounding Hiccup.

"You see, a wet dragon heat can't light its fire. The Hideous Zippleback is extra tricky. One head breaths gas, the other head lights it. Your job is to know which is which," Gobber continued as the heavy gates opened. A large amount of smoke bellowed out of the cage, and seconds later the entire arena was covered in thick fog.

Astrid could barely see Ruffnut right next to her, and she wondered how Hiccup was doing. At least everyone would have the same disadvantage he has. Maybe Gobber was right about Hiccup participating in dragon training.

Suddenly water splashed on her boots and Snotlout and Tuffnut appeared from the fog. "Your butts are getting bigger. We thought you were a dragon," Tuffnut said. Astrid could feel her self control weakening.

"Not that there's anything wrong with a dragonesque figure," Snotlout said with that disgusting grin on his face. When he winked at her, she quickly looked around and briefly smiled.

 _"No way Gobber will see this!"_ she thought as she put her bucket down. Snotlout started grinning, apparently thinking she was about to jump into his arms or something. That grin swiftly disappeared when Astrid poured all her frustrations from the past few days into a punch to his jaw. Next to her, Ruffnut threw her bucket at Tuffnut's head.

Normally Astrid would have been angry at Ruffnut for wasting water, but now she couldn't help but flash a sly smile at her.

Suddenly Tuffnut was dragged into the fog, and Astrid remembered they were supposed to fight a dragon. She carefully lifted her bucket and moved into her battle-ready stance while pushing Ruffnut back. She tried to see through the fog as best she could, but there was nothing but gray clouds. She suddenly wondered if that was what Hiccup sees all the time now, but then she squashed that thought. There was no time to think about Hiccup now, she had a dragon to defeat.

However, she didn't get the chance, as her legs were suddenly hit by a tail, making her spill all the water in her bucket. She felt angry at the dragon for fighting so dishonorably. Why wouldn't it face her head on?

Moments later, Tuffnut ran past her, screaming. She could hear Fishlegs speak near her, but she couldn't see him or Hiccup.

She could hear movement, and the fog started to dissipate enough for Astrid to see Hiccup and Fishlegs. She saw the dragon breath a large amount of gas on Fishlegs, who ran away screaming. Hiccup was the only one left, standing as still as he could with his bucket of water. Suddenly she saw the other head appear from the smoke as Gobber yelled "Now, Hiccup!"

Of course Hiccup never had a chance, Astrid thought. He hadn't been in the fire brigade, and he couldn't see where the heads of the dragon were. So she was not surprised when Hiccup aimed his water several feet away from the dragon's actual location.

Her heart skipped a beat when Hiccup fell, the dragon about to strike. She could see the left head produce sparks, and she knew it was only a matter of time before the gas surrounding Hiccup would ignite.

As Gobber yelled "Hiccup!" she sprang into action. Without thinking she ran towards the dragon and jumped. She grabbed the sparking head and wrapped her arms around it, keeping its mouth closed.

The dragon started thrashing almost immediately, doing its best to knock her off, but she held on. She wasn't going to let Hiccup get hurt again if she could prevent it. She was swung through the air, and then Gobber grabbed the other head and pulled it away from the gas.

She finally let go when she was sure Gobber had the dragon under control and it couldn't ignite the gas. "Well done, Astrid!" Gobber said as he dragged the Zippleback to its cage. She landed on shaking legs, wondering what the other teens would think of her rescuing Hiccup.

"That was awesome!" she heard Tuffnut yell behind her.

"Yeah, that was so Astrid!" Snotlout joined in.

She turned around and the teens walking towards her, looking excited. They seemed to have forgotten all about Hiccup, who was sitting on the floor of the arena where he had fallen. He looked scared and confused. She walked over to him, ignoring the yelling of the other recruits.

"You okay?" she asked him.

"I… I guess," he said with a shaking voice. Behind her she heard the cage door close, and Gobber walked over to them.

"Well, that's it for today. That was a very brave thing you did, Astrid. A very good example of team spirit. And Hiccup…" Gobber said as he walked over to him.

"Maybe it wasn't such a good idea to put you back in dragon training after all. I think it's best if you don't participate anymore," he said as he pulled Hiccup to his feet.

Hiccup looked sullen, but also relieved. "Okay," he eventually said.

"Wait, so Hiccup isn't in dragon training anymore? Yes!" Snotlout yelled. When she turned around to face him she could see a large bruise forming on his jaw.

"Yes, he isn't in dragon training anymore. However, I will still need to assist Gothi, so classes still only start when I say they start. Got that?" Gobber asked him in a threatening tone.

Snotlout seemed to be too happy about Hiccup leaving dragon training to argue with Gobber, and he simply strutted out of the arena. The twins followed after, arguing about which Zippleback head was cooler. Fishlegs was the last to go, trembling slightly.

When the other recruits had left, Gobber spoke again. "Thanks again, Astrid. Can you get Hiccup home? There are a few things I need to do around here."

Astrid nodded as she grabbed Hiccup's arm. "Let's go home, okay?" she told him as she guided him to the exit. She briefly stopped to pick up her axe.

Before they left Gobber shouted after her "We don't have dinner together now, so can you help Hiccup with dinner?" She shouted an "Okay," back, glad she didn't have to have dinner with Snotlout.

They walked in silence for a while, but when they crossed the bridge Hiccup suddenly spoke.

"Uhm… I'm not s-sure what h-happened in there, but I g-guess you saved me or something?" he asked her, his face bright red.

"Yeah, I… distracted the dragon until Gobber could get it under control," she said.

"Oh, cool. Thanks, I guess..." Hiccup said awkwardly, and the silence returned.

After a few minutes they arrived at Hiccup's house. "We're here," she told him as she let go of his arm.

"Th-thanks, Astrid. And thanks again for… whatever you did in the ring," Hiccup said, turning towards her. He looked like he wanted to say something else as well, but he remained silent. "Bye Hiccup. See you tonight," she said as she turned away.

"See you! I mean, I won't see you but… you know… I... hear you?" Hiccup said, and she smiled at his rambling as she walked down the hill towards the southern forest.


	9. Getting Back Up

After Astrid left, Hiccup went down to the cellar to find something to eat. The cool air helped calm his nerves. He had pretty much no idea what happened in the ring. He had smelled a weird smell that he assumed was Zippleback gas, and he had heard the dragon come closer to him, producing sparking noises.

And then, when he was sure he was done for, there was a slamming noise, and the dragon had started roaring and thrashing. Everyone was screaming, and all Hiccup had been able to do was sit there, praying he wouldn't get hurt.

Then the dragon's roars disappeared, and Gobber told Astrid she had done a brave thing. Afterward all she had said was that she had distracted the dragon, and Hiccup had no idea how. All he knew was that apparently Astrid had saved him, and that he wouldn't have to be in dragon training anymore. He was glad he was finally out of training, but it still stung. It was like the gods were telling him how useless he was, how he would never be a real Viking.

As he ate some dried meat he found, Hiccup thought about Toothless, and the idea he had yesterday about making a new tail fin. He wanted to help his new friend, but he was ashamed to admit that he had a selfish motive as well.

He didn't want to be useless.

He just wanted to show the gods, and himself, that there was still something he could do. It didn't even matter if the other Vikings would never know about it.

Finishing the last of the meat he left the house. After spending so much time in the freezing cellar, the sun's heat felt almost like fire on his skin. It was weird to feel sunlight, but still see nothing but darkness. He found it hard to wrap his head around the fact that it was a bright midday, and not the middle of the night.

He counted his steps as he remembered yesterday's journey to the forge. He walked 27 steps down the hill, then turned left, hoping the angle was the same as yesterday. He made a mental note to grab another knife from the forge to mark the stone under his feet.

As he walked, he could hear villagers walking and whispering around him. He never ran into any of them, and he assumed they all avoided getting too close to him.

After 44 steps he turned right, and he sighed in relief when he collided with the counter of the smithy after another 4 steps. He entered the empty building and grabbed the apron from the table where he had left it yesterday. He felt around the cupboards for coal, and managed to light the forge without setting himself on fire.

 _"Now what?"_ he thought, as the scope of the project started to become clear to him. He vaguely remembered the shape of the tail fin as he had drawn it in his notebook. He wished he could still see the drawing as he tried to mentally visualize the fin. He eventually decided he should make a strong central rod, and have smaller pieces of metal stick out of that, like a ribcage around a spine. Then some sort of sailcloth should cover the area between the 'ribs', and the ribs should be able to rotate around the spine, so the fin could be opened and closed.

He briefly considered giving up when he started to understand how difficult this would be, but he squashed that thought. He couldn't abandon Toothless! So he dropped a few clumps of iron ore into the forge, hoping it would reach the correct temperature. As the iron melted, he searched in the pile of scrap metal. He found a thick iron rod that could probably serve as the spine, and he discovered a broken shield he could remove screws and bolts from.

He also found the dragonhide glove on the workbench where he had left it. For the first time he was grateful Gobber never cleaned up the place.

He turned his attention back to the forge. Since he was not able to see the color of the metal, he wasn't sure if it was hot enough. Hoping it was yellow, he grabbed the clamp. After a few tries he had managed to grab the metal and put it on the anvil. He used the glove and a knife to divide the molten metal into several parts. Each part would become a rib of the fin.

He took the first piece and started to shape it into a narrow shape. When he was satisfied with its shape, he plunged it into the cold water of the cooling barrel. After it had cooled enough, he used a drill to make a hole into its wider base. There a bolt would connect the rib with the spine.

Hiccup was shaping the fourth rod when Gobber entered the smithy. "Hey Hiccup!" he said. "What are you doing here? Where's Astrid?" Gobber asked him.

"Hey Gobber," Hiccup answered. "I'm just trying to use the forge by myself. I think Astrid's training in the woods," he said, trying to cover the metal pieces with his arms. _"Please don't ask what I'm working on!"_ he mentally begged.

"So… What are you making there?" Gobber asked him as he walked over to the anvil. Hiccup silently cursed the gods.

"Oh, you know… Just simple stuff. Iron rods, things like that… Just trying to smith like this…" he said, hoping Gobber would leave him alone.

"Okay..." Gobber said in a questioning tone, like he didn't really believe him. "Do you need any help?" he asked.

"No! No, I just want to do it by myself, you know? Gotta unleash that raw Viking power!" Hiccup said, wondering if how he could make the fin with Gobber watching his every move.

"Right. Well, do as you like, as long as you don't burn the building down and don't waste too much iron. Also, I still expect you to do your normal duties, so you can sharpen this pile of weapons," Gobber said as he grabbed Hiccup and shoved him towards a large pile of swords and axes lying on the counter.

"I'm on that! Just finishing up here..." Hiccup said as he walked back to the anvil and finished hammering out the shape. He cooled the stick in the barrel, and then placed all the rods on the desk in his work station.

Deciding he wasn't able to make much progress with Gobber here he grabbed a sword from the pile and walked to the sharpening wheel. Luckily, sharpening weapons didn't require his sight. In fact, Hiccup often used to close his eyes while doing it, to protect his eyes from the sparks.

"So… How's Astrid?" Gobber suddenly asked him.

"I honestly have no idea, she doesn't talk to me that much." Hiccup said truthfully. He had noticed that he had done most of the talking during their time together. Astrid had mostly asked questions, but had said little about herself.

He could hear Gobber sigh. "Well, at least she's talking to you. Better than last week, right?"

"I guess." Hiccup said. He wanted to ask Gobber about her erratic mood swings, but he figured that would be too awkward, so he kept silent.

Hiccup kept sharpening the various weapons and putting them in a separate pile, while Gobber happily hammered away on the anvil while singing to himself.

He had done most of the weapons when a voice he recognized as Mulch reached his ears.

"There you are Gobber! I need your help! Bucket accidentally freed Sven's sheep, and now they're running through the village. Can you help us catch them?" Mulch said. "Oh, hi Hiccup!" he added.

Hiccup gave a quick wave in Mulch's direction while Gobber put the axe he was working on in the cooling barrel. _"At least Mulch still treats me nicely."_ Hiccup thought.

"Sure I'll help. Hiccup, man the fort. Don't set fire to anything," Gobber said in a threatening voice as he walked out.

 _"Maybe the gods have some mercy, or maybe they just want to toy with me some more,"_ Hiccup thought as he realized he had the forge to himself again. He wasted no time in replacing his metal in the forge. As he waited for the iron to melt for the last rod he drilled holes in the other 'ribs' and the spine and removed some bolts from the shield he had found.

After he had finished the last rod he gathered all the different parts on his desk, and started to put them together. He sighed when he realized many parts didn't fit together well, and several times he had to drill a larger hole or add a bit of extra metal to connect the different pieces of iron.

After about an hour he was finished. He felt the different rods of the fin, and realized some were too long, and they didn't rotate as well as he'd have liked. Still, it would have to do. Hiccup tried not to think about the fact that he didn't have control over the most important part of the forging. If he had forged the iron on the wrong temperature the fin would be brittle. But since he couldn't see the color, Hiccup could only hope he had done it right.

Finally, he grabbed some sailcloth from the storage shed behind the forge, and cut it into the correct shape as best he could. He used thin rope to wrap the cloth around the metal sticks, and felt proud of himself when he could open and close it fairly easily. He also added two buckles to attach the fin to Toothless' tail.

He sharpened the last few weapons and cleaned his tools before going home with the fin in his arms. He wasn't sure what time it was, but he figured it must have been around dinner time, since he couldn't hear many people walking around the village. When he walked up the hill to his house, he suddenly realized he had forgotten to bring a knife to mark the path, but the happiness at the finished tail fin made it impossible for Hiccup to feel sad about that.

He decided to wait for Astrid to have dinner with him, and visit Toothless after she left. _"Let's hope he likes this tail as well,"_ he thought as he walked through his front door.

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Tired, but satisfied with the intense training she had just performed, Astrid climbed the hill to Hiccup's house. The sun had just set, and Astrid had barely managed to avoid Snotlout who she had spotted walking to the Great Hall. She wasn't sure she liked having to make dinner for Hiccup, but at least she wouldn't have to spend time with Snotlout.

Normally she could deal with his stupid remarks and blunt flirting, but after all that had happened the last few days she had very little patience left for him. She could barely believe it, but Hiccup had turned out to be nicer company than any of the other Vikings. At least he could be enthusiastic and serious about some things, unlike the twins and Snotlout. And while he could ramble on at times, he wasn't as annoying as Fishlegs.

While she didn't like the potential lifetime of servitude that she might be condemned to, she had to admit she was glad it would be Hiccup instead of any of the other teens.

Like earlier she entered the house without knocking, but she didn't see Hiccup anywhere. She called out his name, wondering if he was in the outhouse again.

"I'm here, Astrid!" she heard him call from the loft, and a moment later he appeared at the top of the stairs. He slowly walked down the stairs, carefully feeling for the steps with his feet.

"What were you doing up there?" she asked, suddenly wondering what he did with his time now that he couldn't draw. She could feel the guilt creeping up to her again, but she refused to let it overwhelm her.

"Oh, uh… Nothing. Just… stuff..." Hiccup hesitantly said as he felt around for a chair. She raised an eyebrow at his answer, feeling like he was hiding something. She dismissed it for now.

"So, what do we have for dinner?" she asked as she opened some cupboards. All were empty, and she hoped she wouldn't have to run down to the village to get food.

"Uh… There's a lot of food in the cellar," Hiccup said as he gestured to a latch she hadn't noticed before. She lifted the cover, and was impressed by the big freezing cellar she saw. She climbed down the ladder, and looked around the barrels and boxes of food. She grabbed a small box filled with various vegetables and a piece of mutton and went back up.

She put the food on the table and lit the fire pit in the center of the room. She looked at Hiccup, who had sat down at the table and who was now moving his hand around the box.

"Mixed vegetables?" he asked, a faint smile on his face.

"Yes. And mutton," she said, trying to sound like she actually knew how to cook. Her only experience with preparing food was roasting meat on campfires during the hunting trips her father took her on.

Hiccup nodded as she grabbed a large pot from a nearby cupboard. She poured the vegetables into the pot and placed it in the fire. She grabbed a thin iron stick and impaled the mutton with it. He held it into the fire, like she had done with the fish on the watchtower yesterday.

A burning smell started to rise from the pot of vegetables, and she saw Hiccup was wrinkling his nose. She was fairly certain she was ruining the meal, but she wasn't sure how else to prepare the food. She had always been training while her mother was cooking.

"How are you cooking the vegetables?" Hiccup eventually asked.

"I put them in a pot and put it in the fire," she said, blushing.

"Without water?" he asked in an incredulous tone. She nodded, but then realized he couldn't see that. "Yes, without water," she said, glad that he couldn't see her blush.

Hiccup snorted, and she stood up and punched him on the arm. "That's for laughing at me!" she said.

"I've never cooked before, okay?" she eventually admitted after an awkward silence.

"Oh. I'm sorry, I didn't know that," Hiccup said softly, all traces of humor gone from his voice.

"Well, remove it from the fire. You need to cook vegetables in water. You can fill the pot from the rain barrel outside," he said. She was surprised at the… shame she seemed to hear in his voice. She expected him to gloat that he knew something she didn't, but he seemed almost ashamed he knew it himself.

She poured the vegetables back into the box and went outside to fill the pot. When she went back inside she saw Hiccup was smelling the vegetables. She noticed some had black patches, and she hoped they weren't totally ruined.

As if he were reading her thoughts, Hiccup said "They're still okay, if you cook them normally now. Just put them in the water, then hang the pot from the iron stick that's over the firepit," he said in a gentle voice.

After she had done as he had instructed, she grabbed the mutton and held it back into the fire. At least she knew how to roast meat. The smell of charred meat reminded her of Hiccup's burns, but she refused to think about that. To distract herself, she talked to Hiccup.

"I didn't know you could cook," she said. "Most boys can't cook," she added, hoping he wouldn't take it as an insult.

Hiccup remained silent for a few seconds, and he turned his face away from her.

"I had to learn by myself. Dad never learned to cook after mom was gone, and he left me here when he went to the Great Hall to eat, so..." Hiccup slowly said, and she felt ashamed she had asked. Hoping to change the uncomfortable subject, she decided to ask something else.

"So what have you been doing today?"

"Oh, I've been working in the forge, trying to use it by myself," he said in a more cheerful tone.

"Oh," she said. She was happy for Hiccup that he was apparently able to use the forge by himself, but a small part of her had hoped they could have spend more time working together there. "How did it go?" she asked.

He frowned again. "Not as good as I'd hoped. I can't determine the temperature of the metal by myself, and it's hard to measure lengths without sight," he said. "It went better when you were helping me," he finished with a smile, and she couldn't help but smile himself.

She felt disgusted by herself when she thought about it more, but it felt good to be needed by someone like that. She had never expected that she would ever look forward to spending more time with Hiccup, but she was starting to like this friendship thing.

"So what did you make?" she asked, wondering if he had been building one of his crazy machines.

"Uh, n-nothing interesting. Just some… b-bits and pieces. B-Bolts and rods and stuff like that," he said in a wary tone, and she frowned. She felt like he wasn't telling the whole truth, but she didn't want to pressure him. Maybe he felt ashamed of his machines?

Before she could think about it more, Hiccup spoke. "I think the vegetables are done," he said after sniffing the air. She grabbed the pot and suddenly felt unsure of what to do. "You can use that sieve to pour the water out without dropping the vegetables, Astrid," He said, gesturing to a cupboard, and she grabbed the iron sieve. She walked outside to get rid of the boiling water, and then split the vegetables into two bowls.

The mutton was done as well, and she cut it into two pieces. She gave one bowl to Hiccup, along with a wooden spoon. They ate in silence. Every now and then, Hiccup dropped his spoon or spilled some vegetables, but she didn't say anything about it.

"How did your training go?" he suddenly asked her. "I mean, you're obviously in pretty good shape if you could distract that dragon this morning. All that raw Viking power had to come from somewhere, right?" he added, but then blushed.

She wasn't sure if he was trying to flirt or just making conversation, but she decided to answer truthfully. She had been asking lots of questions about blacksmithing, so she guessed Hiccup deserved to ask a question himself.

"It went well. I guess I train more than the others, so… you know… I guess I'm in reasonable shape," she said.

"Oh, cool." Hiccup said, and they fell into silence once more. They finished eating, and Astrid put the dirty plates on the counter.

"I'll see you tomorrow to bring you to Gothi again. Bye Hiccup," she said as she walked out.

"Goodnight!" he told her as she shut the door and walked down the hill. As she reached the bottom and turned into a side street, she thought she saw Hiccup's door open, but she dismissed it as a trick of the light. After all, why would Hiccup go out this late?

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Hiccup waited five seconds after Astrid left, then he ran upstairs as fast as he could without falling. He grabbed the tail fin on his bed, thankful that Astrid hadn't gone upstairs and seen it. It would have led to questions he didn't know how to answer.

While she may be surprisingly willing to help him, Hiccup doubted Astrid would react well to the news that he had befriended a Night Fury. Hiccup could barely believe it himself.

He walked downstairs, tail fin in his arms and laid it on the table. He remembered how hungry Toothless had seemed, so he decided to bring him a large meal. He went to the cellar and walked to the baskets of fish. After checking a few, he found a basket with shoulder straps, and he put it on his back. Very carefully, trying not to spill any fish from the basket, he climbed the ladder and picked up the fin.

He opened the door and walked out, hoping there was no one out to see him. He didn't feel the warmth of sunlight on his face, and he was sure it was late in the evening.

Following the stones to the hot springs, he took the same route to the cove he had taken the previous day. He could move faster now that he didn't have to mark the trees on his way, but he took each step with care, knowing the fish would spill everywhere if he tripped. He shifted the fin in his arms and periodically checked if the trees he passed still had arrows on them.

After about ten minutes he reached the cove. He walked through the narrow opening and called out.

"Hey Toothless!"

He could hear a loud happy warbling from his left, and he walked in that direction. The growling and mewling of the dragon grew louder, until he knew Toothless was right in front of him.

"I brought you dinner. I hope you're hungry!" he said, as he dropped the basket and overturned it, to reveal the fish.

He could hear Toothless sniffing the fish, warbling happily. He carefully walked around the dragon as he started to eat. He wasn't sure how the he would react to the tail fin, so he decided to put it on as quickly and stealthily as he could.

"Now, don't you mind me. I'll just be back here, minding my own business..." he mumbled as he felt around for the tail. He quickly found it, but it wouldn't stay still. Every time he touched it, it moved away. Eventually he laid the fin on the ground and sat down on the tail, his back towards Toothless.

The dragon didn't seem to have noticed Hiccup messing with his tail, since the chewing and swallowing sounds continued. He lined up the artificial fin with the rest of the tail and quickly used the buckles to attach it. He noticed the fin was a little too short, but it fit reasonably well for a first version, he thought.

He suddenly noticed the chewing sounds had stopped, but before he could think about that the world was shaking.

 _"Apparently he is very eager to try this out,"_ Hiccup thought when he realized he was flying. For a few seconds the only thing he felt was utter terror as he held onto the tail with all his might. He heard Toothless screech, and he could feel them descend. He suddenly remembered the tail was still closed, and he moved to open it, hoping it would prevent them from crashing into the hard ground.

Terrified, he opened the fin, and the effect was immediate. They swerved upwards again, and a moment later Toothless seemed to take a sharp turn to the left.

"It's working!" he shouted, but then he heard several loud snaps and a ripping sound. The tail shook and Hiccup was thrown off. For a moment he was flying through the air by himself, then he landed in water. He wildly thrashed, not knowing what was up and what was down. Just when he was sure he'd drown, his head broke the water surface and he breathed again, coughing up water.

"Toothless?" he called out. A loud growl came from his right, and he swam in that direction. He soon reached dry land, and he could hear the dragon move.

"Are you okay, bud?" he asked as he felt in front of him, desperate to find his friend. A happy warble reached his ears at the same moment as he felt the hot dragonskin on his hand.

"I'm sorry about that, buddy. You're not hurt, are you?" he said as he felt around the dragon's skin, looking for injuries. He moved his arms around the tail as Toothless warbled in a confused tone.

"Yeah, I'm sorry. I just wanted to make you fly again," he said, as he reached the artificial tail fin. Or what was left of it, at least.

He sighed when he realized four of the five ribs had snapped off, and the cloth was ripped to pieces. The iron must not have had the right temperature, and the fin had broken apart the moment too much strain was put on it.

"It didn't go so well, yet," he said to the dragon, wondering how much of his speech Toothless understood. He knelt in front of the head, and put his hand on his nose.

"But I promise you, Toothless, I will make you fly again. Even if I have to make a thousand fins," he said, hoping the dragon understood his intent.

He recoiled when a rough and slimy tongue swept over his face, and he couldn't help but laugh as Toothless licked him. He didn't know if the Night Fury knew what he tried to do, but at least their bond was not broken like the tail fin.


	10. Trial and Error

Hiccup felt empty as he held the object in his hands. He thought he had accepted it. He thought it had sunk in.

But as he ran his hands over the cloth it still hurt. It hurt more than the physical pain from the injury.

He knew Gothi and Gobber were watching him, waiting for his reaction. But he was stunned into silence. What do you say in such a situation? How do you thank someone for such a 'gift'?

Because that's what Gobber had called it as he put it in his hands. But it didn't feel like a present to Hiccup. It felt like yet another twist of the knife, another confirmation of his blindness.

Like he didn't get one every time he tried to open his eyes to make the darkness go away.

He tried to think of a joke, or a pun, anything that could make him laugh, but there was nothing. There was nothing funny about this.

"Shall I put it on?" Gobber hesitantly asked after a minute of silence.

"No. I have to do it myself," he snapped, harsher than he had intended. He knew that even if he let Gobber do it now, he would have to do it by himself soon anyway. He would have to do it every day. It would become part of his morning routine: Get out of bed, put his clothes on, put his boots on…

Put the blindfold on.

He could feel his hands shaking as he lifted the strip of cloth. He held one end in place next to his head while his other hand wrapped it over his face. He tried not to touch the burn scars, not wanting to be reminded of his other injuries. He tied the two ends together behind his head, dropping the cloth a few times as he tried to tie the knot with shaking hands.

Once the knot was tightened and he was fairly certain the blindfold wouldn't fall off, he moved his hands to his face. He shifted the blindfold to make it cover all the burns and scars. He still hadn't explored his new face, afraid of what he would discover. He knew it was only a matter of time before he would have to touch all of it, but for now he just tried to feel where the scars began, and cover them with the cloth.

He didn't know what his face looked like. Were the wounds red? Black? Some other color? What did his eyes look like? Did they still look like eyes, or was there nothing left but holes? He knew it must be really ugly, since he was supposed to wear the blindfold to cover them up.

He had noticed Gobber had gasped every time Gothi removed his bandages. If Gobber, who had lost two limbs and had seen more battle wounds than anyone, was shocked by the scars, he knew it had to be horrifying. He had never seen a Viking cover up a scar. Scars were something to be celebrated, to be shown. But Hiccup had to hide them, to cover them with a piece of cloth.

It felt like he was supposed to be ashamed of his scars. And in a way, he was ashamed.

When he was reasonably sure the blindfold covered the burns, he stood up and walked to the door. He wanted to get away from here, away from Gothi and Gobber. He couldn't see it, but he knew they were looking at him with pity, or disgust. He felt like he was about to cry, but he was determined not to cry in front of others.

He wondered if he was still able to cry, or if his tears were burned away as well.

Taking a deep breath he opened the door and stepped outside.

"Hey Hiccup," he could hear Astrid say as she stood up from the log outside the door. She took a sharp breath, and Hiccup knew Astrid was looking at his face. He waited for her reaction, wishing once again he could see her facial expressions.

"So the bandages have come off? That's good, isn't it?" she said in a cheerful voice, but it sounded forced.

Before he could answer Gobber pushed him out of the doorway and spoke. "Aye, lass. He'll still need to come back here every day to check for infections and to get some ointment, but it has basically healed as much as it will."

Hiccup didn't feel very healed, and he didn't like the idea that it would never heal more than it was today. Astrid took his arm and started to lead him down the stairs.

"So, what will you do now that you're not in dragon training anymore?" Astrid asked as they reached the bottom of the tower.

He knew he should work on the tail fin, to try to make Toothless fly again. But right now he didn't care about it. He immediately felt guilty about that, so he decided to visit Toothless instead. Maybe his company would cheer him up.

"I just want to go home," he said, instantly regretting being short to Astrid. She walked slower for a moment, but she didn't seem angry.

"Okay," she said in a flat tone. They walked in silence. Hiccup could hear Gobber walking a few steps behind them, probably waiting for Astrid to drop him off before going to dragon training.

Astrid stopped walking. "We're at your house. See you at dinner, Hiccup," she said. He wanted to make a sarcastic joke on how he wouldn't see her, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. He felt too drained for jokes.

A flat "Bye," was all he said before he opened the door and went inside. He listened for a moment and heard Gobber's and Astrid's footsteps fade into the distance. He went into the cellar to grab a fish for Toothless, then he went out.

He walked the familiar road to the forest, scratching at his hair every few seconds. His hair didn't feel right under the blindfold, and his face itched where the coarse cloth touched it. _"That's how the gods punish me now,"_ he thought bitterly. _"By giving me an itchy blindfold."_

He noticed that while the edges of the burns hurt and itched, he didn't feel anything in the center of the scars, just around his eyes. He didn't feel the sensation of the cloth on his skin. He wondered if that was because there was no skin left. The thought scared him.

He walked into the cove, and before he could call out he heard Toothless running towards him. He heard a happy warble when he presented the fish, and he couldn't help but smile as the fish was snatched from his hand.

"Hey buddy. How are you doing?" he said as he moved his arms towards the dragon. Toothless returned the gesture, putting his head against his hands. A moment later a paw was placed on Hiccup's face, softly scratching at the blindfold. He wondered if Toothless was confused by the new accessory. He supposed he must have looked different than yesterday, when he still had the white bandages on.

He suddenly realized he had no idea what color the blindfold was. He had no way to tell, and Toothless couldn't tell him either. And he had no idea how he could ask another Viking about it. _"Hey Astrid, what color is my blindfold?"_ , it just sounded… wrong.

The thought reminded him of the all the worries he had earlier, and he moved his arms to embrace the dragon's neck. He felt ashamed of being so weak, but he just wanted a hug. He wanted someone to hold him and tell him that it would all be okay, but he knew that no one in the village would do that for him.

But hugging a dragon was almost as good.

Toothless warbled in confusion for a moment, but then the sounds became softer and, in a way, more comforting. The dragon suddenly dropped sideways, and Hiccup fell with him. He was surprised to feel that he hadn't landed on grass, but on a leathery wing. A moment later he could hear the other wing shift. He removed one arm from Toothless' neck to feel around, and discovered he was surrounded by the wings.

He couldn't suppress a sob as he held onto Toothless with all his might, and finally let all his walls fall down. He knew Toothless wouldn't judge him, or insult him, or laugh at him.

"Thanks, Toothless," he mumbled into the dragon's chest before another sob came out. The dragon's only reaction was to warble again, and fold his wings tighter around Hiccup.

Hugging a dragon was good, but being hugged by one was even better.

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After experiencing the affection from Toothless, Hiccup was more determined than ever to make him fly again. Hiccup felt like he owed Toothless. He had downed him, ripped his tail fin off with the bola cannon, but Toothless didn't seem to be angry with him. On the contrary, he had been more affectionate towards Hiccup than any Viking he had ever known.

Toothless didn't care that he was small or weak. Toothless wasn't concerned with Viking customs or traditions. He was fairly certain Toothless understood that he was blind, and it didn't seem to bother him.

He supposed they were alike, in a way. They had both been crippled, but the difference was that he knew his blindness could not be cured. After reluctantly leaving Toothless' embrace, he had finally found the courage to explore his wounds. The examination only confirmed what Gothi and Gobber had already told him: There was no way he would ever see again. His eyes were gone, replaced with holes covered in a strange tissue. The burn scars felt like a mountainous landscape, filled with ridges, hills, valleys and fissures. It was a strange, almost incomprehensible idea that his face would be like that forever.

But Toothless' injury could be fixed. The fin would never grow back, but it could be replaced. Hiccup was sure of that. He had felt how the artificial fin had created lift for a crucial second before it had snapped.

So over the next few days he created a new routine. In the morning Astrid would bring him to Gothi for a short examination, then he would go to the forge while Astrid and Gobber went to dragon training. He would make as many tail fin parts as he could before Gobber returned. Then he would sharpen weapons or perform other simple tasks for Gobber. If his work was finished or Gobber was called away for some errand, he retreated to his little back room to assemble a fin as quietly as he could.

Gobber would tell him when it was nearly dinnertime, and he would walk back to his house. He had finally gotten around to carving thin arrows into the stones along his way. He had overheard a few Vikings whispering when he carved them into the stone. Most were angry that Hiccup had to 'destroy public property', but Mulch had said it was a sign of ingenuity.

Hiccup was happy Mulch still supported him. Mulch had always seen the best in everyone, never complaining about weakness. He had even taken care of Bucket, who had been written off as useless by the rest of the village after being hit in the head by a dragon. Mulch had shown Bucket could still do simple jobs like harvest crops or take care of livestock, and now Bucket was somewhat accepted by the village.

After he'd return home he'd hide the tail fin he had assembled that day and have an awkward dinner with Astrid. He taught her more on how to cook, and now she could bake eggs and make stew as well. They didn't talk much. She'd ask him about what he made in the forge, and he'd avoid the question or lie. He'd ask her how training had been, and she'd tell him that the twins had blown something up or how Snotlout had been an idiot again.

In the evening, after Astrid left, came the most exciting part of the day. He'd grab the fin and some food, and go to the cove. After feeding Toothless and playing with him a bit, he'd strap on the fin. He would still sit on the tail to open and close the fin. He had ideas for a saddle, and a pulley system with ropes and pedals to control it, but first he needed to have a working fin.

He'd open the fin and tell Toothless to fly, and then try not to fall off as his world shook and twisted. Toothless seemed to understand what he was trying to do, and kept using the same route: He'd fly over the lake, then turn left before reaching the stone cliff.

And, inevitably, during that short trip the tail fin would break apart. One or more of the ribs would snap under the pressure, bringing Toothless down. By using this route Toothless made sure they'd always crash into the water, and neither would be injured.

After the crash they would comfort each other. Hiccup would apologize for another failure, and Toothless would lick his face in response. Then Hiccup would remove the fin, storing the various parts in two different bags. The broken parts would go into the scrap metal bag, to be molten down again, and the functioning parts would be used in next day's fin. He'd go back to his house, hide the bags under his bed, and fall asleep.

And the next morning it would go the same way.

On the first day he had realized he needed some way to keep notes. He needed to write down lengths and angles of Toothless' tail, manage different parts, and sketch. However, that was hard when he couldn't see charcoal or ink writing anymore.

However, as he walked back home from Toothless one day and ran his head over an arrow carved into a tree, he got an idea. After dropping off the bags of parts at his house, he ran to the forge as fast as he could. He knew it was the middle of the night, so he wasn't too worried about being spotted. Digging through the pile of scrap metal, he retrieved a thin plate of low quality iron. He grabbed a sharp knife, normally used to carve decorations into ceremonial weapons or jewelry.

Using the knife, he carved numbers into the flat piece of metal. When he had 'written' down the dimensions of Toothless' tail, he ran his fingers over the gashes in the iron. He gasped when he realized he could feel the shapes of the symbols he had carved. He couldn't help but smile as he realized he could still read and write, in a way. Sure, it was still awfully slow, and less accurate than a charcoal pen, but now he could finally make notes.

At last he didn't feel so useless anymore.

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Astrid felt tired as she walked up the hill to Hiccup's house. After another grueling dragon training session, followed by her own strict training schedule, she just wanted to eat and go to sleep. It was the fourth day she would have dinner with Hiccup now, and she was glad her cooking skills had improved notably. While it wasn't as fun as working in the forge, having Hiccup instruct her on cooking was a nice way to spend time with him.

As usual, she opened the door without knocking, calling out Hiccup's name. A moment later a loud crash came from upstairs, and a muffled cry of pain.

Curious, she walked up the stairs. "What are you doing up there?" she asked. Just when she was able to look into Hiccup's room he appeared in front of her, trying to push her back down.

"Hey Astrid! Hi Astrid, hi Astrid, hi Astrid! H-How are you doing today?" he said nervously, and she glared at him. He had been acting strange the last few days, but this was a new high. With the way he was pushing her down the stairs she was sure he was hiding something up there. Something he didn't want her to see.

"You're acting weird," she accused as she walked over to the fire pit and lit it. Hiccup tried to turn around and walk backwards while responding.

"Me, weird?! No, I'm just… doing…" He didn't get to say more as he tripped over a chair and fell to the floor. Sighing, she grabbed his arm and pulled him back to his feet.

"Well, weirder," She said.

"No! I'm just doing… non-Viking stuff! You know, make my 'crazy machines'!" He said as he sat down, arms gesturing wildly.

"Hmm, and what kind of machine are you working on, then?" she asked as she climbed down the ladder to the cellar.

"Oh. Uh…" was Hiccup's only response as she grabbed a box of carrots and some yak meat. She suddenly noticed there seemed to be something missing. There were only four baskets of fish now. Weren't there five yesterday?

"Well?" she said in a mildly threatening tone as she climbed back up. She didn't like that Hiccup was keeping things from her. Hadn't she helped him enough? She had trusted him in the forge, so why couldn't he trust her?

 _"Maybe because you threw dragon fire in his face,"_ a voice in her mind said, but she quickly squashed that thought.

"Uhm… It's a new type of catapult using... twin counterweights to... lift stones into the basket... while throwing… so it reloads by itself," Hiccup slowly said, and she felt like he was lying. She started to notice how much harder it was to tell if someone was lying if you couldn't see their eyes.

She hated the blindfold he now wore. When he still had the bandages on it hadn't seemed so… permanent. But now she knew that the scars were right under that piece of cloth, and they were there to stay. She felt like there was a little knife stabbing her every time she looked at it. It was a constant reminder of Hiccup's wounds, of the scars that she had created.

She didn't want to look at him anymore, so she didn't continue her interrogation. She briefly considered going upstairs to look at what he was hiding, but she didn't know how to do it without Hiccup knowing. Questions about his work were one thing, but sneaking into his room would cross a line she knew she shouldn't cross.

"Okay..." she said as she prepared the meal. Hiccup gave a few tips on how to roast the yak meat, but other than that the silence was only broken by the bubbling of the boiling water and the crackling of the fire.

They didn't say much as they ate. Hiccup only asked how today's training session went, and Astrid replied a simple "Okay."

She noticed Hiccup had become quieter the last few days, making less jokes and not talking as much to her. She supposed she wasn't much better, but she still didn't like Hiccup being so guarded around her. She had hoped he would become more confident and reduce his stuttering, but she didn't want him to stop talking at all.

After they had finished eating Astrid collected the dirty dishes and quickly washed them.

"Bye Hiccup. I'll see you tomorrow," she said as she walked to the door.

"Good night, Astrid," was all he said, and a small part of her felt disappointed he hadn't responded with a silly 'seeing' joke. She sighed as she closed the door behind her.

She walked down the hill, being careful of her footing in the dark. When she reached the bottom of the hill, she looked around and saw Hiccup's door opening.

She stopped walking, making sure it wasn't a trick of the light. She saw a figure, probably Hiccup, walk out, carrying something big. Curious where Hiccup would go this time of night, she quietly walked back up the hill. She blushed when she saw him walking to the hot springs. Maybe he was only taking a bath?

For some reason she wasn't sure, and decided to follow him. Her suspicions were confirmed when Hiccup didn't stop when he reached the water, and instead walked around the pond with practiced ease. She started moving again when he disappeared into the forest, determined to find out what was going on.

Astrid reached the edge of the forest and peered in. Under the trees it was almost pitch black, and she couldn't see Hiccup anymore. Carefully she walked further and climbed a nearby rock. She looked around, but she couldn't see anything. She jumped down and examined the ground, but it was too dark to follow his footprints.

She punched a nearby tree when she realized she had lost Hiccup. She couldn't believe a blind boy was better at navigating a forest than she was.

As she turned around and went home, she kept wondering what Hiccup was doing in the forest. Was he training, like she did? He didn't seem fit enough for that. Maybe he just wanted to take walks to clear his head? For some reason Astrid didn't think that was it. She was sure it had something to do with the object he had hidden in his room, but why would he go into the forest to test a catapult?

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hiccup felt tense as he navigated the forest. That had been close. Astrid had arrived earlier than he had expected, entering the house while he was still hiding the tail fin upstairs. He had only just managed to stop her from reaching the top of the stairs and seeing the fin on his bed.

Then she had interrogated him about his work in the forge. He was fairly certain she knew he was lying, but thankfully she hadn't pressed on about it.

At least he knew he was alone in the forest, and his body started to relax by the time he reached the cove.

"Hey Toothless!" he called out, and within seconds the dragon lunged at him, knocking him to the ground playfully. The fish went sprawling everywhere, and Toothless climbed off him to gobble up his dinner.

He laughed at Toothless' enthusiasm. He laid the fin down, and then quickly embraced Toothless and scratched his neck. He had discovered Toothless loved being scratched, and would even fall asleep if scratched in the right spot.

He avoided that spot for now, he needed Toothless awake to test the fin.

As Toothless continued to gobble up fish and warble happily, he moved around the dragon to attach today's fin. With his new system of making notes, he was able to make the contraption fit better against the tail, and now it was almost the exact same size as the real right fin.

"Here we go. I've got a good feeling about his one, bud," Hiccup said as he tightened the buckles and felt the result. All the ribs from this fin were parts from earlier fins that hadn't snapped. He hoped these were the strongest ribs he could make, and would withstand the pressure.

Toothless finished eating and warbled in a curious tone. "You ready, bud?" he asked the dragon as he sat on his tail and held on tight.

Toothless roared and spread his wings. A moment later Hiccup felt the weird sensation in his stomach of flying, and they were off.

The glide across the lake went well, but Hiccup held his breath as the turn came closer. He tightened his grip, sure the fin would break any moment now.

But it didn't. Toothless made the turn fully for the first time, and Hiccup gasped in surprise. Was it working? Toothless roared in celebration as he flapped his wings, gaining altitude. Hiccup wasn't sure how fast they went, but he could tell they were leaving the cove.

 _"It's working! It's finally working!"_ he thought. Just when he was about to shout an encouragement to Toothless, the dragon made another tight turn, and then there was a loud cracking noise. Hiccup instantly knew something was very wrong, but before he could feel around the fin to survey the damage, Toothless started to descend rapidly. Hiccup screamed as he fell faster than he ever had before.

He held onto Toothless' tail with all his might, but something hit him from behind and he instinctively let go.

 _"The gods really do hate me,"_ was the last thing he thought before his head hit something hard, Toothless' scream ringing in his ears.


	11. Useless

Groaning, Hiccup pushed himself up from the pile of leafs he found himself in. For a moment, he couldn't remember what had happened, but when he moved his hands and found a big bump on the back of his head, it all came back.

His entire body hurt, and Hiccup slowly moved his hands across his skin, trying to locate his injuries. He found a nasty cut on his cheek, and when he touched it he could feel something wet on his hand.

Then he heard a roar, and he remembered he wasn't the only one who had crashed.

"Toothless!" he called out as he started running towards the sound of the roar, limping slightly from a bruise on his knee. He tripped over tree roots several times as he followed the roars and whines of the dragon.

He collided with a fallen tree, and then he heard Toothless warble right next to him.

"Are you okay, buddy?" Hiccup said as he reached out his hands, and he felt a wing. He followed the skin to the head, but before he could find the ears his hand was blocked by the fallen tree. The tree was pointing diagonally upwards, and Toothless should have room on the other side to move away from the tree. He could feel Toothless trashing and he heard a smashing sound, and his dread increased. Why wasn't Toothless licking his face yet?

Carefully he moved around Toothless' back. His chest was hit by Toothless' tail, and he grabbed it.

"It's okay, buddy! I'm gonna help you!" he tried to comfort Toothless, and the tail stopped moving. Hiccup moved his hands up to the artificial fin, and what he found made him gasp. This time not just the ribs had snapped off. The spine had nearly cracked in half, and the top half of the thick hollow rod seemed to hang on by a small sliver of metal and one of the buckles.

Maybe there was a reason that rod had been in the pile of scrap metal.

The broken spine was bending Toothless' tail in an awkward way, and Hiccup quickly undid the buckles. Toothless warbled happily when the fin fell to the ground and he could stretch his tail again. Hiccup moved his hands over the twitching tail and he quickly found a bleeding wound. He briefly released the tail to feel the ground, and he searched for the remains of the fin's cloth.

After feeling around a bit he found a strip of cloth and he wrapped it around the wound as best he could.

"That's better, right Toothless?" he asked as he tied a knot, but he felt increasingly worried by the lack of movement from Toothless. Why wasn't he turning around and pouncing him yet? Hiccup knew he wasn't dead or unconscious, since he was still growling and warbling.

Fairly sure the tail was okay now, Hiccup continued moving around Toothless while running his hands over the dragon's skin, looking for more injuries. He didn't find any more wounds as he carefully walked around the right wing. Hiccup could hear Toothless trying to smash something, and he moved faster, desperate to find out why Toothless wasn't moving as much as he should.

He finally reached the dragon's neck, and as he felt around he discovered why the Night Fury was stuck. The tree seemed to have fallen on his neck from his left side, and a thick side branch of the tree had pierced the ground just to the right of the dragon's neck. Hiccup felt his heart skip a beat as he realized that the tree could have killed Toothless if it had fallen a few inches more to the left.

The gap under the tree seemed too narrow for Toothless to squeeze his head through, and his paws were trapped under his body. Hiccup crawled under the tree and moved to the dragon's head.

"It's okay Toothless, I'm gonna get you out of here," Hiccup told the dragon as his brain desperately tried to find a solution. If Toothless wasn't strong enough to lift the tree, there was no way Hiccup could do it. He didn't have any tools to cut the tree, and he didn't have any oil or other lubricant to try to squeeze Toothless' head through the gap.

Toothless whined sadly and reached his tongue out to touch Hiccup's hand. In spite of the stress, Hiccup couldn't help but smile and scratch Toothless' face. As he rubbed his hand over the warm dragonskin, he got an idea.

He started feeling the ground, trying to find a long stick. After a few minutes of searching around the crash site, he found a branch under Toothless' wing. He quickly ran back to Toothless' front and showed it to him.

"Toothless, can you light the end of this stick on fire?" he asked, hoping the dragon could understand what he was trying to say. "So I can burn the tree," he tried as he held the stick out in front of the mouth.

Toothless was silent for a few moments, then there was a small explosion. Hiccup felt a wave of heat on his arm as one end of the branch started burning. He carefully moved the branch to the tree until he was sure the flame was touching the wood trapping Toothless. He hoped Toothless' skin could withstand the heat as he moved the stick around to light more parts of the tree on fire.

Hoping he didn't cause a forest fire, Hiccup kept rubbing and scratching Toothless. After several minutes, Toothless started moving again, trying to break the tree. Hiccup stepped back a bit to give Toothless some space. A few moments later, there was a loud cracking sound and he could hear Toothless moving.

"Good job bu-" was all Hiccup could say before he was lifted into the air without warning. Toothless seemed to have grabbed his fur vest and moved him to his back. All Hiccup could do was hang on to Toothless with all his might while keeping his head down.

"Where are you taking me?" he asked, but Toothless' only response was a short warble while he kept running through the forest. Hiccup buried his head in the dragon's neck when he could feel them glide for a moment before landing again. Toothless finally stopped moving, and he carefully climbed down.

"Are you okay, bud? Are you hurt anywhere else?" Hiccup asked as he felt around the neck of the dragon. He could feel a few shallow wounds where the tree had touched the dragon's skin, but they didn't appear to be too dangerous.

"Where are we?" he asked, immediately realizing Toothless wouldn't be able to answer him. Nevertheless, Toothless started pushing him in a certain direction, then warbled loudly. Hiccup hesitantly felt around, and his hand landed on a basket.

The fish basket he had brought to the cove.

"You brought me back to the cove?" he asked, and Toothless gave a happy warble. Hiccup's mind seemed to move at a million miles per second as he considered the implications of this.

Why had Toothless brought him here? Was it because this was 'home'? Was it because Toothless understood that Hiccup could only find his way back to Berk from the cove? Did Toothless realize that he had been free, but by going back to the cove he was trapped again?

Somehow, Hiccup believed that Toothless did know that. He turned around and hugged Toothless, being careful not to touch the wounds. He couldn't believe it. The dragon seemed to have given up his chance at freedom in order to make sure Hiccup could find his way home. Even after what had happened, Toothless still cared about him that much.

"I'm so, so sorry, Toothless," he said into the dragon's skin as the guilt overwhelmed him.

"You could have died." he whispered, as the full extent of his folly became clear. By smithing blindly, he was creating fins that could literally break apart at any moment. And that made flying dangerous. But Hiccup wasn't the only one flying. The dragon had nearly been crushed or pierced by the tree, and his death would have been Hiccup's fault if the tree had fallen slightly more to the left.

He realized he didn't really care that much about his own life or injuries. But the thought that he could have lead his friend to his death was unbearable.

He felt useless. Everything he had done the last few days had only lead to a dangerous crash. Who had he been to think he could smith blindly, to think he could do anything?

He moved back a bit and sat down in front of Toothless' head. "I guess this just isn't working, is it bud?" he slowly said to Toothless. His only response was a confused warble.

"What I mean is, you could have been killed. Me smithing that fin blindly is dangerous and irresponsible. And I can't risk that anymore," he said, hoping the dragon understood him.

"I can't risk losing you," he admitted after a short silence.

Toothless warbled, then he pushed Hiccup onto his back and licked his face, paying extra attention to the cut on his cheek. Hiccup laughed as the dragon's saliva soaked his blindfold, and for a moment he imagined the dragon was telling him: _"I'm still here! And I still care about you!"_

While he was playing with Toothless, he considered the conundrum. He couldn't smith blindly, that was just too dangerous. He needed an assistant to help him forge the fin. But he couldn't tell anyone about Toothless. Maybe he could pretend it was for something else?

With that thought, he gently pushed Toothless off him. If he was going to convince Gobber or Astrid to help him in the forge, he would need all the energy he could get.

"Sorry bud. I've gotta go to sleep. I'll be back tomorrow, okay?" he told the dragon. Toothless gave a sad warble, but he moved away from Hiccup.

As he grabbed the fish basket and walked out of the cove, he silently thanked the gods that Toothless had survived. The gods may hate him, but it seemed they weren't done with the dragon yet.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Astrid felt annoyed as she walked up the hill to Hiccup's house. She had been thinking all night about Hiccup's strange behavior, and she was sure he was hiding something. She couldn't think of anything it could be, though. What could he be doing in the forest that was shameful or embarrassing enough to hide?

The more she thought about it, the more she felt insulted by Hiccup's lies. Why did he have to lie so obviously? Did he think she wouldn't see through them? Did he think she was that stupid?

But the anger wasn't just aimed at Hiccup. It was also aimed at herself. She couldn't figure out why she was so annoyed by Hiccup's secrets. Why should she care? Why did it matter that Hiccup didn't trust her? Why was she so pissed about the fact that she was apparently untrustworthy?

Why did she care so much about things she never cared about?

She wanted to scream. She wanted to hit something. As she reached the house she settled for kicking one of the marker stones.

It only made her more angry, as she now had a sore toe as well.

As usual, she barged into the house without knocking, calling out Hiccup's name. A few moments later, a groggy voice said "Coming, coming," from upstairs. Annoyed that she would have to wait for Hiccup to get out of bed, she sat down in one of the chairs, waiting for him to get dressed. She briefly considered going upstairs to check his room, but she didn't want to see him change clothes.

She also didn't want to risk seeing him without his blindfold.

She heard a crash from upstairs, and a few moments later Hiccup stumbled down the stairs. She stood up and grabbed his arm, trying not to look at the blindfold.

"G-Good morning to you too," Hiccup said as they walked outside, and she turned towards him.

She wanted to say "Good morning," but all thoughts of smalltalk disappeared when she looked at him.

"What happened to you?" she asked as she looked at the cut on his cheek and the leafs in his hair. She took a closer look at him. Was he limping slightly?

He laughed nervously. "W-What? N-Nothing's happened to me!" he said, and her annoyance at Hiccup spiked again. But for some reason, she didn't want to yell at him. Something about him cooled her anger, and she couldn't raise her voice against him.

Something in her mind told her she had hurt him enough.

So she just took a deep breath. "Then where did that cut come from? And why are there leafs in your hair?" she asked as calmly as she could, lifting her hand to run her finger over the red line.

"Oh, that. You see, Astrid… I… I was t-taking a bath last night… a-after you left… and after I was done… I fell… on a rock. Yes. That's what happened," he stammered, and she sighed. It was obviously a lie, but she didn't want to force the truth out of him. That didn't make her less angry, though.

"Right," was all she said, and the conversation fell silent.

They had nearly reached Gothi's tower when Hiccup suddenly spoke up.

"Uhm… Hey Astrid, I was wondering… Since you're doing so awesome in dragon training, I was wondering if you might… have a bit of time to spare… if you're not too busy… and you feel up to it…" he said, and she mentally sighed.

 _"Get to the point,"_ she thought. She was getting annoyed by his stuttering.

"Maybe… Help me in the forge today? After dragon training, I mean. I-I know you normally go training by yourself then, b-but I have this new project I'm working on, and I could use help, since I'm having trouble getting the metal to the correct temperature, because of… you know…" he continued mumbling in an increasingly soft voice, and she turned her head to look at him. His face was bright red, and he was 'looking' at his feet.

She couldn't deny that for all her anger with Hiccup, she wanted to work in the forge with him again. For all his stuttering, she marveled at his proficiency at smithing, and the adrenaline she got from handling the hot materials was better than another day of mindless training.

She tried not to think about the fact that she really wanted to hear his jokes again. Warriors don't laugh, she reminded herself.

"Okay, I'll help," she said, and his head snapped up to face her.

"Really? I mean… Of course! Great! Awesome! Cool!" he said, and she smiled at his rambling.

"So what are we making?" she asked as she lead him up the stairs.

"Oh, it's… it's like a… windmill of some sorts. It's hard to explain. I can show you the plans later, if you want," he quickly said, and she raised her eyebrow. She knocked on the door of Gothi's hut, and a few seconds later Gobber opened the door. Hiccup walked in after a murmured "Thanks."

It was only after the door had shut that she wondered how Hiccup was supposed to draw plans to show her.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Although he had been scolded by Gothi for 'falling', Hiccup left the healer's hut feeling relieved. Apparently he wouldn't need daily check-ups anymore, and he was glad he wouldn't have to show his wounds to anyone anymore.

But a small part of him also felt sad. Going to the healer had sparked some crazy hope that maybe there could be a cure. But now it was once again confirmed: There was nothing to be done. Hiccup's wounds were healed, they would never get any better than they were now.

As he ran his fingers over the blindfold, Hiccup didn't feel healed. He felt useless and weak.

"Hey Hiccup. How did it go?" Astrid asked him as she grabbed his arm.

For a brief moment, Hiccup considered telling her everything he felt, how useless and weak he was, how he wasn't healed. But then he came to his senses. He couldn't show weakness. She would just laugh in his face. He wasn't going to risk this… thing he had with Astrid by showing her how unworthy he was of her attention.

So all he said was "It was good. I don't have to come here anymore."

"Oh. Okay," Astrid said, and he wasn't sure if she was relieved or surprised. Or was she feeling something else entirely?

As she guided him down the stairs, Hiccup felt surprised she had actually agreed to help him. Surely she didn't actually want to spend time with him, right? Maybe she was just… bored… of training. Yes, Astrid Hofferson must be bored of training.

Hiccup felt so confused.

"Here we are. I guess I'll see you at the forge after dragon training?" she said as she let go of his arm.

"Well, I won't see you, but… you know… Good luck with dragon training," he said, and she made a snorting sound.

"I don't need luck," she said, and before Hiccup could respond, she hit his arm before running away. Hiccup mentally kicked himself for insulting her. Why couldn't he have a 10 second conversation with her without being useless?

He sighed as he walked down the hill towards the forge. He could hear Vikings talking as he counted his steps. It was busier than usual, and Hiccup wondered if he was going to the forge later or earlier than normal. He tried to ignore the conversations, but he couldn't help but notice a lot of the gossip was about him.

"Look at him…"

"He'll be the most useless chief…"

"…heard she did it on purpose…"

"…useless to the village now."

"…wasting the time of the Hofferson girl…"

"…useless fighter…"

"He's useless..."

His only response was to walk faster, and when he reached the village square he all but ran to the door of the forge. He tripped over a tile, and fell on his face.

Laughter filled the square as Hiccup scrambled to the door of the forge. He shut it behind him, but jokes and insults still reached his ears through the open counter.

He sat with his back to the door for a few minutes until he was sure most of the Vikings had left the square. When the room was silent except for the wind, he got up and walked over to the pile of scrap metal. He wanted to run to the forest and hug Toothless, but he reminded himself he was doing this for him. He had to make that tail.

He realized his plans for the fin were still at his house, but he didn't want to traverse the village again. So he searched in the pile of metal for a new sheet of iron. After a few minutes, his hands touched a thin piece of metal, and from the weight he guessed it was copper. They didn't use a lot of copper in the forge, it was softer and weaker than iron. But maybe, Hiccup thought, that could be an advantage.

He put a few blocks of copper on his desk and grabbed the decoration knife. He was happy to find that it was easier to 'draw' on the copper than it was to draw on iron.

 _"Maybe weakness can be a good thing at times,"_ Hiccup thought.

Knowing he had a few hours before Astrid would be done in dragon training, Hiccup started designing a saddle with an attached pedal after he had copied the fin schematic. It would be nice to control the fin without having to hang on the tail, but he had no idea how he could forge this. It was one thing to tell Astrid they were making a windmill fin when they were really making a dragon's tail fin. But he couldn't think of any way he could disguise the control system as anything else.

Sighing deeply, he decided to hide the plans in the storage shed behind the forge. He didn't want Gobber to see them and ask questions, and he knew a small hiding place under the floorboards.

He was just putting the wooden planks back in place when a familiar voice reached his ears. Dragon training must have finished already.

"…just makes me so angry!" Astrid said in a furious tone, and Hiccup froze. He wasn't sure he wanted to walk in if she was in an angry mood.

"Have ya told him that?" Gobber's voice said as the door to the forge was opened, and Hiccup realized they must have walked to the forge together. He wondered who they were talking about. Probably Snotlout, Astrid had ranted to him several times about Snotlout's bad behavior in dragon training.

"It's just… he's so annoying! I bet he would just give another useless sarcastic response!" Astrid said heatedly, and Hiccup frowned as he silently crawled towards the back window of the forge. That didn't sound like Snotlout, he never understood sarcasm.

"Well, that's how he is, Astrid. Hiccup's always been different like that." Gobber said, and Hiccup gasped. They were talking about him? Astrid thought he was annoying? He made her angry?

"Yeah, I guess, but that doesn't mean I like it. Why can't he just man up and do something about it? Now it's costing me precious training time as well!" Astrid ranted, and Hiccup felt like his stomach had turned to stone. That's how she felt about him? Like a burden, a waste of time?

"Astrid. You know what you agreed to. We made a deal, remember? You agreed to help Hiccup adjust," Gobber said in a gentle tone, and Hiccup's breath caught in his throat.

"Yeah, yeah, show the village I'm a good Viking and all that," Astrid responded in an annoyed tone, and Hiccup felt like the world stopped for a moment.

That was all this was? All that time she spend with him, all the meals she shared with him? Just some deal? Some… scheme to make her look good for the rest of the village? Some… chore for her to do?

"But that didn't include this! Why can't Hiccup be a good Viking as well? Why do all of our conversations have to be so… useless?" Astrid continued, and Hiccup released a breath he hadn't realized he was holding.

He desperately tried not be gasp too loudly as his mind reeled with what she had said. So she thought he was useless as well? He had developed a hope that they had some kind of… mutual trust and understanding. Some kind of friendship even. But she only interacted with him because of some deal? Some political scheme in which he was only a pawn? What about that time they fixed her axe together? What about all those times she laughed at his jokes?

Was it all a lie?

Were all his attempts to get closer to her… useless?

Hiccup crawled backwards until he was sure they couldn't see him through the window. He didn't want to hear any more of this. He wanted to get away. He wanted to go to Toothless, and be hugged by the one being he was sure would never betray him.

He forced himself to walk slowly around the smithy, hoping Gobber and Astrid wouldn't notice him. But before he could reach the arrow he had carved in the stones, he was grabbed from behind.

He recognized the sweaty smell even before he heard the voice.

"Hey Useless. What are you doing out here all by yourself?" Snotlout asked him in a menacing voice.

This was the last thing he needed. "Just let me go, Snotlout," he said, trying to sound like his heart hadn't just been smashed into a million pieces.

"Aw, but where's the fun in that, Blindy? You're coming with me now. After all, a blind kid shouldn't be out by himself, right?"

Knowing it was useless to resist, and feeling too drained to even try, Hiccup let himself get dragged away by the stronger teen.

"Hey Tuff! Ruff! Look who I found!" Snotlout shouted, and Hiccup mentally sighed. The gods really, really hate him. Hel, everybody seems to hate him, except for a dragon.

"Ooh, it's Hiccup! He still owes me, you know. He got burns before me!" the male twin said.

"Yeah, and we were gonna see how much easier it is to prank him now!" his female counterpart added before hitting him in the arm.

"That wasn't a prank! That was just hitting him! I get to hit him first!" Snotlout said, and a moment later Hiccup doubled over from a hard punch to the stomach.

"Didn't see that coming, did you, Useless?" Snotlout asked him, and Hiccup didn't even bother coming up with a sarcastic response. He just hoped it would be over quickly.

The teens continued to punch and kick him some more while they argued over who was allowed to hurt him the most. Hiccup didn't bother to listen to their insults, he'd heard it all before.

"Oh, I've got an idea for a prank!" Tuffnut suddenly said, and Hiccup slightly relaxed from the ball he had curved himself into when he realized they weren't going to kick him for a few seconds.

"He can't see, right? So I say, we dump him in the forest. He won't be able to see the trees, so he'll keep walking into them," Tuffnut explained.

"Ooh, and he'll never find his way back! I mean, we get lost there all the time, and we've got working eyes. I like it!" Ruffnut said and a moment later there was a loud banging sound. Hiccup guessed the twins had banged their helmets together again.

"Hmm, if he can't come back to Berk, he can't be heir. Let's do it!" Snotlout said, and a moment later Hiccup was lifted into the air. The three teenagers carried him away from the village, and Hiccup's heart filled with dread when he realized they were walking south. He had only marked trees in the northern forests, he couldn't find his way in the south.

After a few minutes of walking, in which the teens turned so often he had no idea which way was north anymore, he was dumped in a patch of leafs and mud. "Ha, Hiccup the Useless is where he belongs," Snotlout said before kicking him between his legs.

By the time Hiccup unfurled from his little ball his tormentors were long gone. He slowly stood up, being careful not to put too much weight on his left leg where Ruffnut had kicked him hard in the knee.

He started walking, or rather limping in a random direction. He had no idea which way he had go to return home, and he wasn't sure he wanted to. The Vikings of Berk hated him.

Astrid hated him.

Berk didn't feel like home anymore. He wished he could just disappear. He wished he could fly away on Toothless and never face another human again. But he couldn't fly on Toothless because he was so useless at smithing.

He couldn't even find Toothless.

"Are you happy now, Odin? Is this some funny joke to you, Loki?" he said to the black air around him, wondering if the gods were laughing at him right now.

"Well… I'm just gonna walk this way. You gods up there in Asgard decide if I get back to Berk, or find Toothless by accident, or get eaten by a passing Gronkle. I don't really care anymore," he told whatever gods were listening.

And so Hiccup the Useless started wandering through the forest, alone in his dark world.


	12. Breaking Point

Astrid was thinking about how Hiccup could possibly make plans to show her. Could he draw without being able to see? Was his spatial reasoning that good? Did he have some other invention to help him? Was it all one big joke? She couldn't find an answer, and it confused her. She hated being confused.

Then the door to Gothi's hut opened, and Hiccup came out. He was running his hand over his blindfold, and she couldn't help but notice that the blindfold had ridden up a little, exposing a narrow strip of scarred skin. The red ridge reminded her that there were even more wounds under the blindfold. She quickly averted her eyes, feelings of guilt and nausea creeping up on her again.

"Hey, Hiccup. How did it go?" she asked him as she grabbed his arm and lead him down the stairs.

He was silent for a few seconds, and she took a quick glance at him. He looked miserable. It was hard to see his facial expressions with the blindfold hiding so much of him, but his shoulders were slumped downward and the corners of his mouth pointed down.

"It was good. I don't have to come here anymore," he eventually said, and she frowned. He didn't look like it was good, and she wondered if it was another lie. She briefly remembered how he had looked when she had found him that first night, crying in the moonlight, and she wondered if he was putting on a brave face for her and the rest of the world.

"Oh. Okay," she said, unsure of how to breach this wall he was building around himself. She hated the painful silence that surrounded them once again as they walked to Hiccup's house. For some reason, she wanted him to talk to her. She didn't understand why, but she wanted him to trust her. She didn't want this… thing between them.

She hoped he would be more talkative in the forge. She missed the carefree interaction she had with Hiccup when they were fixing her axe.

"Here we are. I guess I'll see you at the forge after dragon training?" Astrid said as guided Hiccup to his front door.

"Well, I won't see you, but… you know… Good luck with dragon training," he said, and she made an embarrassing sound when she realized he finally made another 'seeing' joke. She felt confused when she thought about how she seemed to crave his jokes now, and she felt an urge to reassert herself. She was a proud warrior, not some giggling girl!

Warriors don't count on luck, they count on skill, her father always said. So she used that as she tried to restore her warrior image. "I don't need luck," she told Hiccup before hitting his arm.

She quickly ran away, before she could do more embarrassing things. Why did she even care about preserving her image in front of Hiccup? Why did she care so much about what he thought about her? She had always considered him beneath her, it was never important what he thought. But now she worried about whether he thought she was weak or weird.

Why did he affect her so much? Why did he make her feel all these weird mushy feelings? She felt so conflicted about it. Often the mere sight of him filled her with guilt and remorse as she looked at his face, but he never gave her a hard time about it, or made it seem like he resented her for what she had done. He still treated her normally, he talked to her in an intelligent way, he tried to make her laugh. He didn't treat her as some prize to be won, like Snotlout, or as some faceless recruit, like her father did.

He treated her like a friend, like a companion. And she had no idea what to do with that. She knew it was idiotic to want to be friends with Hiccup. Astrid the Warrior shouldn't associate with Hiccup the Useless. But she didn't feel like Astrid the Warrior anymore. And as she thought about all that he had taught her she knew Hiccup wasn't useless.

But he also hid things from her, lied to her. Didn't friends tell each other everything? Was that how friendship works? Astrid had no idea.

She wanted to scream in frustration by the time she ran through the gate of the arena. She took a deep breath to calm herself. _"Just focus on the dragons,"_ she told herself as Gobber started explaining today's lesson. At least dragons weren't as complicated as sarcastic boys. At least here in the ring, things were as they should be. Here she understood what was going on.

She just wished she understood herself.

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The Deadly Nadder screeched loudly when Astrid hit it with the flat side of her axe. It staggered backwards, stumbling over its feet and falling.

Astrid hesitated for a moment when she saw the Nadder take a deep breath, images of dragonfire landing on her axe flashing before her eyes, screams echoing in her head. She snapped out of it when all the dragon did was hiccup, and only a few drops of dragonfire landed on the floor.

Understanding the peril it was in, the Nadder crawled backwards, but Astrid wasn't going to let it get away. With a loud battlecry, she raised her axe above her head and prepared to strike the killing blow.

But before she could sink the axe blade into the dragon's neck, she was yanked backward. Furious, she turned around to see who was preventing her from killing the beast. She was surprised to see Gobber standing next to her, his hook hand around the handle of her axe.

"That's enough, lass. We need the dragon for more training," he told her, and she glared at him for a few seconds before slowly lowering her axe. The adrenaline was still flowing through her veins, and she desperately wanted to hit something. It made her feel like she had control.

"That's it for today. Class dismissed, you can go home now," Gobber said to the other recruits, who were cowering behind a piece of cover since the dragon had disarmed them all. Gobber lead the disoriented Nadder back to its cage.

"That was so cool, Astrid! Of course, I would have done even better if Fishlegs hadn't stumbled in my way, but you know..." Snotlout told her as he flashed her a stupid grin that made her skin crawl. She glared at him as she holstered her axe, but didn't respond. She simply walked past him to the exit of the arena.

She was stopped, however, by Gobber's voice. "Astrid, can you stay here for a moment?"

She frowned, and slowly turned around and walked back to Gobber who was locking the gate of the dragon cage. The other teens ran past her, eager to get away from firebreathing dragons for a while.

"What is up with you today, Astrid? You're so angry," Gobber asked her when they were alone.

She raised an eyebrow at him, and he quickly added "More than usual, I mean. Is something wrong?"

Astrid sighed. She didn't want to talk to Gobber about how Hiccup made her feel all weird. She was supposed to be the proud angry Viking warrior.

"Nothing's wrong, Gobber," she said, hoping he would drop it.

"Oh yes there is, and you're gonna tell me. Did Hiccup do something? Did he say something wrong?" he asked.

"No, he didn't say anything wrong," she said truthfully. The problem was more about what he wasn't saying.

"Is it about helping him in the forge this afternoon?" Gobber asked as he started walking towards the exit of the arena. She followed him, wondering how he knew about that.

"No. Yes. Maybe," she eventually said, and Gobber turned towards her with a confused look on his face.

"It's… he's hiding something, and he's so distant, but now he suddenly wants my help in the forge," she said heatedly as they crossed the bridge to the village.

"So? Don't you want to help him in the forge? I thought you guys had fun when you repaired your axe," Gobber asked her, and she wanted to scream in frustration.

"I do, I think it's… cool to work in the forge, but that's not it! It's just… he's obviously hiding something. He goes into the woods after dinner, he lies about what he's making in the forge, there's obviously something. And he's hiding it from me, but now he apparently expects me to help him make whatever he's forging," Astrid said, surprised by how good it felt to say all this out loud.

"So you're angry he's not telling you everything he's doing?" Gobber asked in a confused tone.

"No! I don't want to know everything he does, but I wish he would trust me. Haven't I helped him enough for that? But he treats me so… I don't know! It just makes me so… angry!" she said as they approached the forge.

"Have ya told him that?" Gobber asked her as he opened the door to the forge and walked in ahead of her.

"It's just..." she started, but then she paled for a moment remembering she was supposed to meet Hiccup here, and he might have heard what she had said. But her fear turned into confusion when she saw the building was empty. The forge hadn't been lit, and she saw no trace of Hiccup's presence or of any preparations he might have made.

Why wasn't he here? Was he still at his house? Did he forget? Did he mean he wouldn't be here when he said he wouldn't see her? Her frustration spiked again.

"…he's so annoying. I bet he would give another useless sarcastic response!" Astrid nearly shouted as she realized Hiccup confused her more than ever. Why couldn't he just be straight with her?

Why did it hurt so much to see that he wasn't here?

"Well, that's how he is, Astrid. Hiccup's always been different like that," Gobber told her. She knew that! That's the whole problem! He was so different from everything she was used to. She knew how to deal with Snotlout, or Fishlegs, or the twins.

"Yeah, I guess, but that doesn't mean I like it," she told Gobber as she crossed her arms, trying her best not to give in to the urge to kick the anvil.

"Why can't he just man up and do something about it?" she asked, wondering why he couldn't just tell her what was going on. It felt like he was just playing some… game with her, asking if she wanted to help in the forge, and then not show up.

"Now it's costing me precious training time as well!" she finished, looking at the pile of weapons in the corner.

"Astrid. You know what you agreed to. We made a deal, remember? You agreed to help Hiccup adjust," Gobber said, and she glared at him. Of course she remembered that, it was what got her into this.

"Yeah, yeah, show the village I'm a good Viking and all that," she said in an annoyed voice. Honestly, the deal only made her feel more confused now. She was supposed to help Hiccup in order to show she was a good Viking, but being too friendly with Hiccup was wrong as well. If Hiccup were more Viking-like all this would be much simpler.

"But that didn't include this! Why can't Hiccup be a good Viking as well?" she said, before realizing she didn't want Hiccup to be different. She just wanted him to be honest with her. She wanted to talk, to really talk to someone. And she had never talked as much to someone as she did with Hiccup. But then he became all secretive and their conversations became hollow.

"Why do all of our conversations have to be so… useless?" she finally asked, feeling drained.

There was silence for a few seconds in which she stared at the floor. She could hear faint voices outside, and she suddenly felt embarrassed telling all this stuff to Gobber.

Finally, Gobber took a deep sigh before leaning on the anvil. "Astrid, have you seen Hiccup's drawings?" he asked as he pointed to the little side room filled with the strange diagrams.

"Yes," she said, unsure of where this was going.

"How do you think people react to those ideas? To those… new ways of doing things?" he asked her, and she started to see his point.

"Not well, I guess. When I saw them I couldn't see myself using those inventions. But that doesn't mean I don't want to help him with them!" she exclaimed as she thought about the sword launcher he had designed.

"But do ya think Hiccup knows that? Don't you think he's afraid you'll laugh in his face once he shows you his plans, like everyone else does?" Gobber said, and she slowly nodded as everything seemed to click in place.

"Give him time, Astrid. He needs to get used to having companionship. He's been my apprentice for ten years and he never even asked me to help him with his stuff," Gobber told her as he walked over to her and put his hand on her shoulder.

She felt drained and tired, and very embarrassed she hadn't thought of all this. It was so obvious now, but she had never even considered how he felt about all this. She hadn't considered that this whole friendship thing might be as new to him as it was to her.

"Well, I don't think Hiccup's coming anymore. I guess I'll… go train now and… talk to him at dinner," she said as walked to the door of the forge.

When she opened the door, she stopped for a moment. "Thanks, Gobber," she said as she turned towards him. He merely smiled at her.

"Don't worry about it. Now go release all that anger on some trees!" he told her, and she followed his advice, running to the southern forest to train.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Astrid was eating her lunch during a short break in her training when she heard a strange noise. She immediately stuffed the rest of her dried yak meat in her pouch and grabbed her axe. Silently, she stood up from the log she had been sitting on and entered a battle-ready stance.

She was looking around when she heard the noise again. It sounded like leafs being stepped on and branches snapping. Someone was moving through the forest in her direction. Slowly, being careful not to make a sound she crossed the clearing and into the bushes.

She wondered who it could be. It better not be Snotlout, she thought he had learned his lesson the last time he surprised her during training and she cut a horn from his helmet.

She peered in the direction the noises were coming from, preparing to slice through Snotlout's other horn when she recognized the person she had least expected.

It was Hiccup.

He walked, or rather limped, across the clearing. Astrid couldn't get a good look at his face, but she was concerned by his limp. She vaguely remembered he was limping this morning, but it hadn't been this bad, right? And hadn't he favored his other leg? She wasn't sure, and it only made her feel more confused.

Hiccup walked past her and disappeared into the forest, his brown fur vest and green shirt blending in with the trees and bushes. She followed him as quietly as she could. Maybe if she followed him she would learn something about what he was hiding.

He seemed to walk in random directions, frequently running into trees or tripping over roots. He seemed to be muttering something to himself, but she wasn't close enough to hear what he was saying. After about twenty minutes, in which they seemed to move further and further away from the village, they finally reached the edge of the forest.

Astrid frowned as she saw Hiccup leave the shadows of the trees. She knew this part of the island well, and there was nothing there. There was nothing but a narrow field of grass and a cliff leading straight down to the ocean fifty feet below.

Which Hiccup was walking towards.

Astrid's eyes widened when the realization hit her, and she abandoned all attempts at stealth as she ran as fast as she could. When she reached the edge of the treeline the sun shone in her eyes, but she refused to let that stop her.

Narrowing her eyes, she spotted Hiccup's silhouette a few yards from the edge of the cliff. He was still walking forward, apparently not aware of the danger.

She didn't hesitate as she ran towards him and grabbed his fur vest. He made a noise of surprise as she yanked him backwards with all her strength, determined to get him away from the cliff. He fell backwards, and she got her first look at his face.

There were several bruises on his cheeks, and she saw a small cut on his chin. Those definitely hadn't been there that morning.

"What were you doing?!" she yelled at him.

"Wh-What? A-Astrid? What's going on?" he asked, looking extremely confused. He tried to get up, but she pushed him down again, determined not to give him the chance to fall in the depths only a few yards away.

"What's going on?! You nearly walked over the edge of the cliff, that's what happened!" she yelled, sitting down next to him.

"What? What cliff? I have no idea where I am, Astrid," he said in a voice that turned from confusion to… anger?

"Well, how did you get here then? And where did you get those bruises?" Astrid asked him, wondering if the two were connected.

"Why do you care, Astrid?" he asked her with unexpected ferocity, and she glared at him. Why would he say that?

"I'm asking because you would have fallen to your death if I hadn't spotted you! Do you understand that, Hiccup? You could have died!" she shouted the last part at him, resisting the urge to shake him.

"So why did you stop me? Why would you care if I live or die? The entire village would celebrate if I were to die, and I'm sure you feel the same way!" he shouted at her.

His words hit her like nothing ever had before, and for a moment all she felt was anger.

The slapping sound as she hit him in the nose echoed in her ears, and it was followed by utter silence. She looked at her fist, not really comprehending what had just happened. Then she looked at him, at the way he was covering her face with his left hand, the way he was trying to crawl backward. The way his hands were shaking.

He was terrified. He was terrified of her. He was terrified because she had hit him.

She felt sick. All the anger disappeared, and all she felt was shame.

"I… I'm sorry, Hiccup," she said, and there was a long silence in which neither of them moved. What had she done? She wanted him to trust her, but she couldn't stop hurting him.

"I… I do care, Hiccup. Why… Why would you think I wouldn't care?" she finally said, and when she started speaking she found she couldn't stop talking.

"Of course I care. You've done so much for me, you know? You fixed my axe, and you taught me how to cook. You… You… You gave me something to look forward to each day. Our dinners, I mean. And… You make me laugh, okay! I know it's not very Viking-like, but I like laughing!"

She felt embarrassed as she realized how much she was stuttering and rambling, but she felt a _need_ to explain this to Hiccup. She didn't know why he would think she would be glad if he was dead, but she had to make sure he'd never think that again.

"And… You're nice. You treat me nicely, even after what happened in dragon training," she said, and she turned away from Hiccup's face and stared at her hands.

"You make me feel like… You just make me feel," she finished in a quiet voice, not sure if she wanted him to hear that.

She continued to stare at her hands, afraid of facing Hiccup. Did he think she's pathetic? Weak?

"But… I thought you hate me," Hiccup said after a long silence. "I thought you thought I was wasting your time."

She whipped her head up to look at him. He was very tense, and his hands were shaking. His nose was turning a very dark shade of red, but thankfully it didn't seem to be broken.

"Why would you think that?" she asked, wondering if she really was that frightening. Had she treated him that badly?

He took a very deep breath, and spoke slowly. "You said so. Today, in the forge. You were saying I am annoying and useless," he said, and he moved his hands in front of his face, like he was afraid she was going to hit him again.

He had overheard that? Had he been in the forge that whole time? How much had he heard? Astrid tried her best to remember exactly what she had said, and she paled as she realized what she had been saying. She had to fix this. Now.

"No! No, Hiccup, I don't think you're useless or annoying. It's… I wasn't talking about you. I mean, I was, but…" she started feeling a little panicky as she realized she was only making it worse as she saw Hiccup twist away from her. She saw no other solution other than being completely honest with him.

"I was talking about the secret you've been hiding," she said, and his head whipped up to 'stare' at her and his jaw dropped.

"Y-You kn-know about that?" he asked nervously.

"I know there is something you're not telling me, but I don't know what it is exactly. I guess it has something to do with what we were going to make in the forge today," she told him, and he released his breath.

He was silent for a while, and she could almost see the gears in his head turning. Was he debating whether he should tell her? Astrid had a feeling that if he wouldn't trust her now, he would never tell her.

"I want you to know, I saw your designs, in the forge," she said, hoping he wouldn't be angry. "I thought they were weird, but kind of cool, though I didn't understand half of them. You clearly put a lot of work in them," she realized she was rambling again. Hiccup was affecting her more than she had expected.

"What I'm trying to say is… I want to help you build whatever you're building. I won't laugh at it, or make fun of your plans, okay Hiccup? I won't even tell anyone about it, I promise. I'll help you with anything you need help with, and the other Vikings don't need to know, okay?"

She hoped it was enough, and she waited as the gears in his head seemed to pick up speed. He sat utterly still and he was 'looking' at her with his mouth in a strange half-open position. Once again she cursed the blindfold for making it so hard to see his facial expressions.

"Anything? And you won't tell anyone?" he eventually asked.

"Yes. Anything," she said, hoping she was breaching the wall he had built.


	13. Show and Tell

Hiccup was fairly sure he was about to make the most important decision of his life. Telling Astrid about Toothless was incredibly risky. If she told anyone, if she thought he was a traitor, he would undoubtedly be exiled, if not executed, for treason. And Toothless… He would be slain as well.

But still… Something told Hiccup that he should take this chance, because he would never get another one. Astrid had just promised him she wouldn't tell anyone, and she would help him with anything.

The question was whether helping a dragon fly again fell under 'anything'.

What if he didn't tell her? Would she accept him hiding something from her? She was obviously pissed about that, and he wasn't sure how much longer their friendship could survive the stress of the dark secret pushing them apart.

But she had just opened herself up to him, told him that she cared, that she thought he was funny, and kind, and other things that seemed impossible. Astrid Hofferson telling him, puny little Hiccup, that he made her laugh? That he made her feel? It made his head spin.

But if she felt that way, would she betray him? Send him into exile, or worse? Maybe she would be willing to keep the secret, even if she wouldn't help him?

If he were completely honest, he had no idea what he would do if Astrid would decide to abandon him. The very idea scared him. But he had to take the chance. He could take the loneliness, he had lived with it for years now.

But Toothless couldn't live without a tail fin.

The road ahead was shrouded in darkness, and Hiccup had no idea what lay within, whatever path he would choose. He could only take a leap of faith, and hope that Astrid would be there to catch him.

"I…" he started to say, carefully choosing his words. How do you tell anyone that you befriended your tribe's worst enemy?

"I'll tell you. I'll tell you everything." he told Astrid, who had remained silent after giving her promise.

Without warning, she grabbed his arm and pulled him to a standing position, and he winced as he put pressure on his bruised leg.

"Good, now let's go," Astrid said, and she started to drag him away.

"Where are you taking me?" he asked, confused by her sudden behavior.

"We're going back to the forge. We need to build whatever your secret project is, and you can tell me about it on the way," she said in a cheerful tone, and his thoughts started to race again. If he was going to tell Astrid about Toothless, he didn't want to do it in the middle of the village, and especially not in front of Gobber.

"Uhm… Astrid?" he started as he tried to keep up with her rapid pace.

"I think it's… probably best if we don't go to the forge. Can we stop by my house?" he asked.

"Why?" she retorted without slowing her pace, and he realized he had no idea how to tell her. How could he explain how incredible, how friendly, how amazing Toothless was? It was impossible to put into words, let alone words that wouldn't make her execute him on the spot for treason.

"Uhm, because I… I need to grab something from there, and then I can tell you about… the thing. I need that… object to explain it," he said, trying to buy time to think about how to tell her. Besides, it wasn't a complete lie. He's probably need some fish to appease Toothless if he was bringing a total stranger to see him.

"Okay… So you can't tell me now?"

"No," he said, hoping she would still be willing to listen later.

"Can you at least tell me what we're getting from your house?" she asked, and he felt cornered.

"Astrid, I'll explain everything. I promise. But only after we've been to my house," he said, surprised by his lack of stuttering.

She was silent for a long time as she lead him through the forest. He wondered if she was angry.

"Fine. But you better not be kidding here, Hiccup. I want to help you, but you have to let me help you," she said, and he gulped, feeling guilty. She was probably very confused, and he was only going to make it worse when he told her.

"I… I'm not kidding. It's just… It's hard to explain," he said, hoping she wouldn't press on about it.

They walked in silence for a while, and Hiccup desperately tried to think of a way to tell her about Toothless. How could he explain that a dragon could be trusted? He couldn't speak quickly enough to say everything he wanted, he needed to say. Astrid had to see in one moment that Toothless wasn't a threat.

Hiccup stumbled when the idea hit him, and he didn't even register Astrid pulling him up again.

What if he didn't tell her? What if he showed her? What if he let her observe Toothless and him interacting? She would be able to see that the dragon wasn't attacking or hurting him. And then he could tell her everything.

He just had to bring her to the cove and get her to observe.

He hoped that she wouldn't run to tell the village as soon as she saw the Night Fury. They would be far from the village, maybe he could stop her before she got there if that happened. Maybe Toothless could run faster than Astrid could?

Ah, who was he kidding, he'd never catch her. He could only hope she would stay, and see.

"So… What happened to you earlier?" Astrid asked him, and it took a few seconds before he realized she was referring to him wandering in the forest. He wasn't sure if he wanted her to know how easily he had been beaten up, but he didn't think now was a good time to lie to Astrid.

"Oh, you know… Snotlout and the twins… they were probably jealous of my… Vikingness…" he said, hoping she wouldn't question it further.

"Wait, so they hit you? How did you end up in the forest?" she asked in a surprised tone.

"Yeah, they beat me up. And then they thought it was funny to dump me in the forest, so I would walk into trees," he said, feeling his face blush red, and he felt ashamed.

"Why do you let that happen? Why don't you fight back?" Astrid asked, and he felt a flash of anger. Did she think it was that easy? Did she think he hadn't tried that?

"And how do you propose I do that, Astrid? I think one blind kid without muscle might be at a disadvantage against three bigger Vikings," he said angrily, immediately regretting lashing out at her.

Astrid remained silent for a while, and Hiccup could hear the sounds of the village growing louder. They must be nearly there.

"But… Can't you tell your father? Wouldn't he do something? He's the chief..." Astrid finally asked with a soft voice, and Hiccup couldn't stop himself. He laughed.

"My dad would just tell me to toughen up and learn to fight. 'A chief should always be able to fight his enemies'," Hiccup said the last part in an imitation of Stoick's thick accent.

"But… doesn't he teach you how to fight?" Astrid asked, and he sighed. He wasn't sure why he was telling her all these embarrassing things now, but it felt… good to finally talk about it.

"He tried, years ago. But I was a disappointment, and he gave up. He decided I would be more slightly less useless in the forge, so he made me Gobber's apprentice," he said as they entered the village. He didn't want to talk about it with other people nearby.

Thankfully, Astrid seemed to feel the same way, and she remained silent as she lead him through the village to his house.

They entered the empty house, and Hiccup walked to the cellar. He climbed down and grabbed a fish from the first bag he found. He climbed up again, and he could feel Astrid gazing on the slimy object in his hand.

"That's what you need to explain?" she asked in an annoyed tone, and Hiccup started feeling panicky again. How could he convince her to go to the cove?

"Well, to… explain what's going on, I… need to show you something else. Something in the forest. And I… need the fish for that," he stammered, wondering if it had been wise to take her to his house first. Maybe he should have brought her straight to the forest?

"Are you serious? What could you possibly need that stinking fish for?" she said angrily.

"I can't tell you… yet. You see, Astrid… It's very hard to explain what it is, if you haven't… seen what's in the forest. So… I'd like to ask you to come with me," he said, hoping she would be willing to follow his weird instructions.

"I… Why can't you just tell me?" she asked, and he could hear the confusion in her voice. He could only imagine how crazy this must seem from her perspective.

"I will tell you, Astrid! I just… need to show you first. But after that I'll tell you, I promise!" he begged, hoping the gods would be willing to give him this chance.

"Fine. You get one more chance, Hiccup. This better be good, though. Lead the way," she said, He froze for a few seconds, before he realized he was actually supposed to guide her. He was so used to things being the other way around, that it took a moment for his brain to adapt. Slowly, he walked out of the house and followed the stones to the hot springs. He knew the route fairly well now, but it was still weird to hear Astrid walk beside him without her pulling his arm.

They walked in silence, but he could hear Astrid stomping her feet. She was definitely annoyed. He had hoped she would be in a better mood, but he couldn't turn back now.

"Did you make those arrows?" Astrid suddenly asked, and he jumped.

"Yeah. They point back to the previous tree, so I can use them to find my way back if I'm lost. I can feel them with my hands," he said.

"Oh, cool. That's pretty smart," she said, and he smiled. Maybe she would be more willing to listen than he thought.

Finally, they reached the stone wall that imprisoned Toothless. Hiccup stopped just before the small gap in the rock, and turned to Astrid. This was it.

"Okay, Astrid. Before I… show you what it is, I want to ask you just one thing. I'll go in through this gap first, and you can follow after ten seconds, but stay in the gap and stick to the shadows. All I ask is… that you don't do anything for one minute. Whatever you see, whatever you may think, please… Just watch for one full minute before… doing something. It will probably look like I'm in danger, but I won't be. I swear. I've got it all under control," he said, though he didn't feel like he was in control here. One rash action from Astrid or Toothless and everything would come crashing down.

"Seriously, Hiccup! Why can't you just be straight with me?! I'm starting to think this is just one big joke. Why all this mystery?" she asked in an angry tone, and he felt very unsure.

"Astrid, please, you have to give me a chance to explain…" he started to say, but Astrid cut him off.

"I just said all that embarrassing stuff to you, about how you make me feel, and you still can't trust me?! I'm wondering if I should listen to anything you have to say now!" she shouted, and Hiccup knew this was the moment of truth.

"Then I won't speak. Just let me show you. Please, Astrid," he begged. "One minute, that's all I ask. Just… watch for one minute, and afterward you can do anything you want to me. You can yell, you can beat me up, you can never talk to me again. I'll answer any questions you have. Just give me one minute."

She was silent a long time, but finally she spoke. "Fine. I'll watch for one minute, but it better make sense afterward."

Hiccup let out a sigh of relief. That was the best he could hope for. It just had to be enough.

"Thanks, Astrid," he said. "Just… Please watch everything, and only judge me afterward," Hiccup said before he walked through the gap, feeling more nervous than he ever had. He was jumping into the black abyss.

And he had no idea if Astrid would catch him or not.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Astrid felt utterly confused as she watched Hiccup walk through the small gap in the stone. What could he possibly be hiding that required so much secrecy? Why did he have to show her instead of simply talking to her? Is it some complicated machine? But why would he need a fish for that? And why would she have to stay in the shadows?

But she had still agreed with his weird conditions. Something in his face, in his voice, told her this wasn't a joke. He wasn't the type to prank her, and he said she could do anything she wanted to him after she had watched whatever he was talking about.

But above all, she _wanted_ to believe he was serious. She wanted him to take her serious, and to trust her.

So just after Hiccup disappeared, she followed him, carefully crawling through the gap, being careful not to make a sound. After a moment she saw Hiccup about 20 yards away, standing in some kind of valley. She couldn't see much, but there was no machine or contraption. She was tempted to walk over to him and give him an earful, but she had made a promise. She would wait one minute.

A moment later her heart skipped a beat. She saw a black shape moving rapidly towards Hiccup. Was that a dragon? It didn't look like any dragon she had ever seen, not even in the Dragon Manual. She took her axe from its holster and readied herself to intervene. Then she remembered Hiccup's words.

 _"It will probably look like I'm in danger, but I won't be. I swear. I've got it all under control,"_ he had said. It took all her willpower, but she forced herself to stay in the darkness of the gap as the shape ran towards Hiccup.

She gasped as the dragon pounced on Hiccup, and she sprang from her crouched stance. She was about to run in and help Hiccup when she heard a sound that shouldn't be there.

Hiccup was _laughing_.

The dragon moved back, and Hiccup got up, completely okay. There were no wounds on his body, the dragon hadn't hurt him. She didn't understand it at all, and she was frozen in place.

Hiccup presented the fish to the dragon, and the black creature snatched it from his hand. Hiccup didn't even flinch! Why wasn't he running from this monster? Why wasn't the dragon eating Hiccup? Was this what he wanted her to see?

She continued to watch, mesmerized as Hiccup put his hand on the dragon's head, and spoke to it. She couldn't make out the words, but she recognized Hiccup's nasal voice talking to the dragon. And then the dragon reacted. It made a sound, but it wasn't the fearsome roar she was used to. It was a friendly sound, not that different from the barks of the puppies she had once seen at Mulch's farm.

The exchange continued, Hiccup talking to the beast, and it responding with various sounds. She was sure it was a dragon, but why wasn't it attacking? Dragons always go for the kill!

Right?

What she was seeing couldn't be real. It contradicted everything she knew about dragons. Was this some crazy illusion? One of Loki's many tricks? She rubbed her eyes, but the image remained the same. Hiccup was interacting with a dragon. It seemed impossible.

It only got weirder. Hiccup started scratching the black dragon, and it started to purr! It reminded her of the kitten Trader Johann had once brought from the southern lands. The dragon closed its eyes and seemed completely at ease. She could only see Hiccup's back, but he seemed at ease as well. He was standing straight, and he didn't give any hint that he was scared. On the contrary, he seemed more relaxed than she had ever seen him.

Suddenly, Hiccup called out.

"Astrid? Are you still there?" he asked, and she could hear a hint of fear in his voice. But for some reason she was sure he wasn't scared of the dragon.

He was scared of her, of her reaction.

She suddenly realized how wrong this was. Hiccup had befriended a dragon. He had befriended an enemy! She briefly considered running back to Berk to get help. But she didn't. She felt too confused. She didn't understand what had just happened in front of her.

And she knew Hiccup had the answers. She wasn't going to let him stop her now. He was going to tell her what the hel was going on, no more excuses.

"I'm here," she said, trying to sound as tough as possible. Hiccup might be friends with the dragon, but she didn't trust it.

"Oh, good. Uhm… You can come closer. Slowly, though! He won't hurt you," he said, but Astrid wasn't so sure. She tightened the grip on her axe as she walked forward with big strides.

When she was about 10 yards away, the dragon spotted her. It growled and showed it's teeth. She stopped and moved into her battle-ready stance.

Then Hiccup intervened. He jumped between them, raising his arms between the two of them. Well, he was a little off on Astrid's side, so he was blocking the rock next to her, but she recognized the gesture.

"It's okay, it's okay. She's the friend I just talked about," he told the dragon, and miraculously it calmed down. It stopped growling, though it still showed its teeth.

He turned towards her. "You just scared him," he said in a nervous voice.

"I scared him?!" she shouted, before remembering her other questions. "Who is 'him'?"

"Okay, Astrid, Toothless. Toothless, Astrid," he said, like he was introducing another Viking. He gestured between her and the dragon, who was definitely not toothless. Hiccup might be remarkably calm about this, but she was starting to wonder if he even realized that the creature was a dragon.

"Wh-What? He's not toothless! He's got a mouth full of teeth!" she shouted as she raised her axe a little higher, and the dragon growled again, showing those rows of sharp teeth.

"What? I thought he doesn't have…" Hiccup mumbled as he moved his hand towards the dragon's mouth. He felt around a bit before running his fingers over the teeth, and suddenly they disappeared, and the dragon gave a little whimper.

"Huh, retractable teeth. Interesting. So that's how you chew fish, right bud?" he asked the dragon, which responded with a happy warble. Astrid started to wonder if the world had gone mad. She slowly moved closer while keeping her axe at the ready.

Moments later the dragon growled at her again, and the teeth reappeared. She raised her axe a little higher, but stayed in place.

"Shh, it's okay, bud," Hiccup told the dragon before slowly walking in her direction.

"It's okay, Astrid. He's not going to hurt you. You have your axe out, right?" he asked as he walked closer.

She produced a quick "Yeah," without looking away from the dragon staring at her with an angry look, though it didn't look like it was about to attack.

"Just lower the axe. He doesn't like weapons. Just show him you're a friend, and he'll be your friend," he said as he started feeling the air in front of her.

"I… No!" she exclaimed. Never drop your weapons, her father always said.

"Just… Give me the axe. Please, Astrid. Please trust me. Just give me the axe, and I'll answer any questions you have," he begged her, and for some reason she couldn't believe he was lying. He knew more about this dragon than her father.

Very slowly, she lowered the axe and put it in his outstretched hands. Once he had a firm grip on the axe, he moved to the side, near the rock, and gently laid the axe on the ground.

As Hiccup moved the axe away, she saw the change in the dragon's demeanor. It stopped growling, and its pupils grew bigger.

"See, nothing to be afraid of," Hiccup said in a cheerful tone, and she wasn't sure if he was talking to her or the dragon. He walked back towards her and felt around. Her hands hadn't moved since she gave him the axe, and he quickly found her right hand. He took it in his own, and turned towards the dragon.  
"Don't worry Astrid, he's not going to hurt you. Just… follow my lead," he said as he started walking towards the dragon. She wouldn't call him Toothless, he was just a dragon, why should it have such a stupid name?!

When their arms were outstretched as far as they could, he pulled on her hand, forcing her to walk with him. She slowly followed him, trying not to think about how crazy this was.

They reached the dragon, and Hiccup moved his hand to hold her wrist. Then he used his other hand to feel where the dragon's head was, and when he found it, he brought her hand towards it. She gasped and nearly broke away when the dragon bridged the gap and put its face against her hand. The warm leathery skin was unlike anything she had ever felt. One part of her felt scared and disgusted, but there was a small part of her that felt… wonder. She had to admit it was incredible to touch a dragon without it attacking you.

Hiccup started smiling, and he released her wrist. She kept her hand in place, mesmerized by the incredible thing happening. She was touching a dragon! The dragon was friendly! It looked… happy, as it stared at her with those big green eyes.

"See, nothing to be afraid of," Hiccup softly said as he moved back a bit, and she had to admit he was right. She didn't feel afraid of the dragon anymore.

"Can I… Can I touch more? Can I walk around him?" she hesitantly asked.

"Sure, just don't make any sudden movements and don't hurt him," Hiccup told her, and she gently drew her hand back. Slowly, she started to walk around his left side, marveling at the massive wings and strong paws. It looked like a fearsome and fast dragon. But what kind of dragon was it? She had never seen anything like it.

Suddenly a thought struck her. "Wait a minute," she said. "Is this a Night Fury?"

"Yes, yes it is. I'll tell you the whole story if you want," Hiccup told her in a proud voice, and she felt a surge of… admiration towards him. How had he managed to tame a Night Fury? She was eager to hear the story, but she first wanted to study the dragon a bit more. She walked around the large wings and looked at the tail.

She froze. She couldn't believe what she was seeing. Why… Why would that be there?

She rubbed her eyes, but it was still there. It was real. It looked so ridiculous she started laughing.

"Uh, Astrid, why are you laughing?" Hiccup asked as the dragon looked around with a confused warble.

"Hiccup," she said before another bout of laughter overtook her. "Why does he have a pink ribbon on his tail?" she asked, marveling at the thick bright pink cloth adorning the Night Fury's tail. It made no sense. Why would Hiccup put a pink ribbon on the offspring of lightning and death? Was he trying to make it less threatening? She certainly couldn't take it seriously anymore.

"What? What are you talking about?" Hiccup asked as he walked over to her and felt around the tail. After a few moments he ran his fingers over the cloth, and a look of recognition appeared on his face. It was followed moments later by a mortified look as his face turned bright red.

"Oh, that's… We crashed, and Toothless had a wound there, so I used this cloth as a bandage. I… I didn't know what color it was. I-Is it really pink?" he said, and she felt a little bad for laughing. She hadn't considered that he couldn't see color anymore.

"Yeah, it is," she said, before she remembered something else he had said. "What did you mean, you crashed?" she asked.

"Uhm… Maybe it's best if we start from the very beginning. You remember the raid about a week ago? When I said I hit a Night Fury? Well, I really did..." he talked as he sat down in the grass. She followed suit, too engrossed in his story to feel bothered by the dragon just behind her.


	14. New Ways

"So then Toothless brought me back to this cove. That was yesterday evening, and that's when I decided to ask for your help in forging the tail fin and… Well, you know the rest," Hiccup finished his story, fearing Astrid's reaction. He was immensely glad she hadn't run back to the village, and that she had even touched Toothless, but he wasn't sure what she thought of him now.

While she had occasionally gasped or asked questions when he started telling her about Toothless, she had grown quieter, and now he waited nervously for what she would say. He cursed his blindness, he hated being unable to see her. Was she nervous? Was she angry? He knew she was sitting next to him, he could hear her breathe, but if she didn't say anything she might as well be a thousand miles away.

"Astrid? What do you think?" he asked when he couldn't take the silence anymore. He'd rather she screamed at him than this… nothingness. At least if she screamed she would be in his black room, in a way.

"It… It's a lot to take in," she said. "I honestly wouldn't believe you if there wasn't a dragon lying right next to me."

Hiccup smiled, he was fairly aware of Toothless' movements, and he had noticed he had slowly been crawling closer to Astrid, clearly curious. The dragon wasn't touching her yet, but at least he wasn't growling anymore. There seemed to be an… understanding between the dragon and the Valkyrie. They seemed to both have agreed the other wasn't going to attack them, and had stopped actively threatening each other.

Hiccup figured that was the best he could hope for, for now.

"I guess that's okay, it took a while for me to believe it myself, honestly," Hiccup said with a chuckle, trying to disguise how nervous he was. "But… You won't tell anyone, will you? I mean, they'll kill Toothless, and I'll probably be exiled, and that would put such a damper on this… thing we have going and I don't think the Outcasts would accept me, and…"

She laughed, and Hiccup could feel his face turn red as he realized how much he'd been rambling.

"I won't tell anyone. I promised, didn't I?" she asked him in a threatening tone, like she was angry at him for even doubting her.

"Yeah, but I figured that was before you knew it was an actual dragon I was hiding, you know? I thought that might not have been included in 'anything'," he countered, and she chuckled.

"I… I have to admit I'm not sure how I feel about this, it's so…" she started.

"Weird? Not very Viking-like? Crazy?" he offered.

"Yeah, crazy! It's like… it's a dragon! And he's just sitting here, without attacking us!" she exclaimed, and a moment later Toothless made a curious noise, like he knew she was talking about him. Silence grew once again as Hiccup tried to give Astrid time and space to think.

Suddenly he heard her stand up, and a moment later she pulled him up by his arm. "It's getting late, maybe we should go back for dinner," she said. His stomach growled, and he figured she had a point. He wondered if she was nervous of Toothless. Maybe this was enough interaction for today. He walked towards Toothless and put his arms around the dragon's neck.

"Thanks for being so good, and not killing Astrid. I'll see you later, buddy," he mumbled into the dragon's scales as he hugged the dragon goodbye. If Astrid thought his actions were odd she didn't comment on it.

"Shall we go?" Astrid hesitantly asked as he released Toothless. He nodded and started walking out of the cove, Astrid just behind him.

He felt light as he squeezed through the narrow gap and all the worries he had had just seemed to flow off him. She wouldn't tell anyone! He was safe! He just hoped she'd help him get Toothless escape from his own prison as well.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Astrid was just washing the dishes after dinner when Hiccup addressed the thing they hadn't talked about during dinner.

In fact, they hadn't talked at all. She had been lost in thought, trying to look at Hiccup's dragon secret from every angle, and she still wasn't sure how she felt about it.

"Y-You know, Toothless hasn't had dinner yet. He only had one fish all day. M-Maybe… We can bring him some more? Together, I mean! So you can feed him, and… get to know him a little better. It would also make him t-trust you a little more, you know?" he said, and she tore her eyes away from the plate she was scrubbing to look at him. He was obviously nervous, rubbing his neck and fidgeting.

She wasn't sure if she liked that idea. She guessed she was okay with keeping the secret and leaving Hiccup and his pet dragon be. She didn't want Hiccup to be exiled, and though she'd never thought she'd ever think so, she didn't think the dragon deserved to die. He didn't seem to be a threat, and he seemed to care about Hiccup, and Hiccup cared about the Night Fury.

She had never seen Hiccup as affectionate with anyone as he was with the dragon (She refused to call him Toothless out loud, that name was just stupid). He had hugged Toothless, played with him, talked to him, and even flown with him. And she couldn't take that away from him.

But did that mean she had to help him build that fin? Make a potentially dangerous dragon fly again? She didn't trust Toothless' intentions. Maybe he had just been nice to Hiccup for food and a new fin, and he would eat Hiccup as soon as he could fly again.

But that didn't mean she couldn't bring him food, right? Maybe she could observe the dragon, figure out his weak spots. Just in case.

"Okay, I'll come. Do we just bring a bag of fish?" she asked, trying to sound casual. She didn't want Hiccup to know how much she distrusted the dragon.

"Oh, uh, yeah. Just grab one from the cellar," Hiccup said, relief audible in his voice.

Astrid grabbed one of the bags of fish and climbed back up. She tried to grab her axe from where she left it on the table, but it was gone.

"Uhm, Maybe it's best if you don't take your axe with you," Hiccup said, clearly nervous. She looked around, trying to figure out where Hiccup could have hidden her axe, before giving up. Honestly, she was done trying to fight the insanity.

"Fine, but just this one time, and if your dragon eats me I'll kill you," she told him before walking out the door and waited for Hiccup to catch up. A few seconds later he followed, his face pale.

She followed him to the cove, marveling at how well he found his way through the forest. Even though he occasionally tripped over tree roots, he always seemed to know in which direction they had to go. Just before they reached the gap in the rock wall, he stopped her.

"Okay, just dump the fish on the ground, and give him some room to eat," Hiccup said, before squeezing through the gap, and Astrid followed him. She spotted the dragon almost immediately, his black skin shining in the light of the setting sun. She maintained eye contact while she walked forward. She wouldn't be intimidated by the Night Fury.

Toothless sniffed and nosed around Hiccup before turning to face her. She could see distrust in his eyes, but also a hint of… curiosity? Without losing eye contact and maintaining her most threatening face, she turned the bag of fish over on the ground and took a step back. In the corner of her eye she could see Hiccup standing a few yards away, looking tense. He seemed ready to intervene if one of them attacked the other.

The dragon was nosing through the pile of fish when he suddenly jumped almost a yard into the air and screamed loudly. She jumped back as well, her hands automatically going to her back before she remembered she didn't have her axe with her.

"Toothless? What's wrong, bud?" Hiccup asked while he moved towards him and tried to calm the dragon. His only response was another loud growl a he glared at the fish.

Astrid frowned, confused at Toothless' behavior. She was fairly certain the dragon wasn't glaring at her, and she slowly walked towards the smelly pile. She didn't see anything odd, just a bunch of plain Icelandic cod. Then, just before she turned around again, she noticed something else, almost hidden from sight. It was a large smoked eel, and she grabbed it and lifted it from under the fish.

Toothless gave another loud shriek while shrinking back, and she realized he was afraid of the eel. Astrid could barely comprehend it, the unholy offspring of lightning and death scared of something as simple as an eel. She swung the slimy fish towards Toothless' direction, and the dragon whined. Meanwhile, Hiccup looked confused before apparently deciding to hug Toothless in an ultimate attempt to calm the dragon.

She felt powerful, seeing the dragon so afraid of her, or at least the object she was holding. But as she looked, she saw the pure fear in the dragon's eyes, and she could see Hiccup becoming anxious as well. She felt bad for tormenting the dragon like that, and she threw the eel as far away from her as she could.

The effect was immediate. The dragon's eyes became bigger and the growling and whining turned into a curious and surprised warble. Hiccup released Toothless' neck, and the dragon slowly walked over to her. It made happy noises as it nosed the pile of fish again. She expected it to eat, but instead it started sniffing her hand. She nearly drew her hand back, but something told her the dragon wasn't going to bite her arm off.

She gasped when Toothless made the cutest sound she ever heard before licking her hand. She couldn't help but smile as the black dragon thanked her before turning around to eat the fish.

Maybe the dragon wasn't so terrifying. Somehow, seeing that he could be afraid too made him less scary to Astrid. It changed from being a mindless enemy to a being with feelings and fears. Someone who could be interacted with, and for the first time that day she felt like she understood Hiccup's motivations a little better.

A moment later she noticed Hiccup walking around Toothless to stand next to her.

"Wh-What just happened?" he asked her.

"Oh, your dragon is scared of eels. I threw it away for him," she told him, and he snickered.

"Typical. He's just a big softy, really. I wonder if all dragons are scared of eels, or if it's just Toothless," he said, and they fell into a comfortable silence as they observed Toothless eat.

"So… Will you help me forge that tail fin?" he finally asked her, and for once there wasn't any humor or sarcasm in his voice. Astrid couldn't help but notice the question was laced with both hope and fear. She started to realize how much this meant to Hiccup. It meant enough to risk getting hurt in the forge or flying. It meant so much he had been willing to risk telling her.

And if it meant so much to Hiccup, how could she refuse? Hiccup clearly trusted the dragon, and now he had trusted her with this dark secret.

Maybe she should trust him, for once.

That thought reminded her that she was still slightly angry about his earlier secrecy, so she punched his arm.

"That's for the lies," she told him, and he yelped. Toothless looked up from his meal with a surprised look, but before he could intervene she hit Hiccup again.

"And that's for being so reckless in repairing that fin," she said, and he looked at her with such a… shocked expression, that she couldn't help but feel guilty. Toothless softly growled, but Hiccup shushed him.

"But… I'll help you forge that fin. For… Everything else," she eventually said, and she smiled at how Hiccup's face just seemed to lit up and his mouth curled upward into a big smile.

"Great! Awesome! Shall we start tomorrow, after dragon training?" he asked in an excited tone, and she couldn't help but smile at his enthusiasm.

"Sure, but now we should go to bed," she said as she noticed that it was rapidly getting dark. She wouldn't ever admit it to Hiccup, but she was exhausted after all the events of today.

"Oh, right! That's probably a good idea," he said before he hugged Toothless, who had finished the food.

She could hear him speak to the dragon. "We'll be back tomorrow, buddy. With a new tail! One that will hopefully actually work! Do you like that, bud?" Hiccup told Toothless, who replied with a happy warble. Astrid took the opportunity to grab the eel. Maybe it could be useful in dragon training.

She looked back at Toothless as she followed Hiccup out of the cove, and was surprised by the lack of hostility she saw. The dragon looked almost… sad she was leaving. And for some reason, she felt a little sad as well.

The dragons might be their enemies, but she had to admit it was pretty cool to have one as a friend.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Over the next week they fell into a new routine. In the morning Astrid would go to dragon training, where she would use the tricks Hiccup showed her to get even better. The day after she had met Toothless she had tried to use the smoked eel against the Zippleback. Seeing how effective it was, she was eager to learn more. She had to admit that while these new methods were… unorthodox, they were useful.

"I'm hurt! I'm very much hurt!" Tuffnut yelled as he ran past Astrid during dragon training. Holding her breath, she braced herself for the impact of the Deadly Nadder they were fighting. But it stopped its charge just before colliding with her, and Astrid was surprised to see the dragon look at her with a curious expression. Maybe it could smell Toothless on her?

"Don't worry, Astrid! I'll save you!" Snotlout shouted as he started to charge at the Nadder, and she decided to try something Hiccup showed her the previous day.

Holding her axe in her right hand, she quickly used her left hand to scratch the Nadder's throat. A moment later she found the right spot, and the dragon relaxed completely and fell at her feet. Snotlout wasn't able to stop his charge and tripped over the Nadder's large head, falling flat on his face. She smirked at him, secretly laughing at his pathetic attempts. She knew the only reason he was in second place in training was because the twins and Fishlegs were even worse at fighting dragons.

"Oh, that was so Astrid, Astrid! But I bet it just fell because it was afraid of all this… manliness!" Snotlout said as he pulled himself back to a standing position. Astrid couldn't help but think that he didn't look very manly when the blue Nadder rolled over and knocked him down again.

"Well done, Astrid," Gobber said over the loud whispering she could hear on the spectator's ring. Now that dragon training was starting to get harder, more and more Vikings came to watch the teens. Astrid knew they were talking about her, and she wasn't sure if she felt proud or annoyed about that. She knew they weren't just talking about her fighting skills. They were gossiping about Hiccup and her, and about the incident.

"I've never seen a Nadder do that!" Fishlegs said as he walked over to her to help Gobber carry the dragon back to its cage.

"That was so cool! Where did you learn that?" Ruffnut asked her, and Astrid chuckled. She wondered what they'd say if she told them Hiccup showed her. But she'd keep her mouth shut.

"I've got my sources," was all she said before walking out of the arena, but she briefly turned around when she heard Snotlout speak to Tuffnut.

"See? She's like… the ultimate Viking! Except for me, of course," he loudly exclaimed, and she frowned. She didn't consider learning from a friendly dragon very Viking-like, and she couldn't help but think that Snotlout would probably not be so impressed if Hiccup had done it.

She glared at Snotlout one last time before running out of the arena and into the woods. She was eager to learn what dragon secrets Hiccup discovered today.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

While Astrid was at dragon training, Hiccup liked to think he had a much more exciting task: Flying with Toothless. The day after Astrid had met Toothless they had forged a new fin, much stronger than the old ones.

Hiccup just hoped this one wasn't bright pink.

Astrid had stayed on the ground while he tried it out, and it was a success. Toothless could make tight turns without the fin breaking, and they had managed to fly for a few minutes straight.

The only problem was landing. Hiccup had underestimated how precise the positioning of the tail fin was, and they had crashed into the lake.

He still wasn't sure if getting dragged out of the water by Astrid was awesome or embarrassing.

He had quickly realized that the angle of the fin was crucial for everything in flight. It made the difference between going left or right, up or down.

It made the difference between flying and crashing into the ground.

They quickly build the saddle and pedal system, and Hiccup, with Astrid's help, eventually figured out which fin positions were needed for which type of movement.

The only problem was that Hiccup couldn't actually see what was in front of them during flight, so while he might know how to turn right, he didn't when to turn right.

Solving that problem was how Hiccup spend most of his mornings.

"Up!" he shouted at the dragon in front of him.

The Night Fury made a roar that sounded vaguely like "Urgh."

"No, not 'Urgh'! Up!", he shouted, cursing Toothless' inability to speak Norse.

"Urp!" the dragon roared. Hiccup sighed. That would have to do.

"Close enough. So, you have to make that sound when we need to go up. So if we are about to hit a treetop, you just say 'Urp!'," he told the dragon. He repeated the instruction several times, occasionally blindly drawing a diagram in the dirt to make it clearer to the dragon.

He wasn't sure if Toothless understood his drawing of a dragon approaching a tree, and an arrow pointing upward, but he knew it was possible. He had already taught the dragon about left and right (Or as Toothless liked to call them, "Lurgh" and "Rawr"), and he knew that if he just repeated it enough times the dragon would eventually understand what he was supposed to do to go up.

"Okay, you understand that, buddy? You wanna try it out?" he asked as he climbed into the saddle. Toothless made a happy warble as Hiccup moved the fin to the first position that was needed for take off. A moment later they flew.

"Lurgh!" the dragon roared before they could hit the rock wall, and Hiccup moved his foot to make them turn left.

"Okay, buddy, now we want to go up! Just say it!" he told Toothless, but his only response was "Rawr."

Hiccup turned them to the right before trying again. "Just say it, Toothless. Say 'up'!"

"Rawr!"

Hiccup sighed. He wasn't sure if they actually had to turn, or if Toothless simply didn't understand what he was trying to say. But he wouldn't give up. It had taken even longer to make the dragon say his first word, left. It wasn't until Hiccup had refused to turn left unless Toothless said so that the dragon started to understand. Apparently flying straight into a wall is an effective learning method.

Hiccup was trying to do the same thing now, making them fly at an altitude that was too low to escape from the cove until Toothless said the 'up' command. Maybe it was harsh, but Hiccup knew that it was crucial to master it now if they ever wanted to fly in more unpredictable places.

They flew in circles for another hour before Toothless finally said "Urp!" and Hiccup set the tail to the ascending position. Toothless gave an excited warble as they started to ascend, and roared another "Urp!"

Hiccup set the fin to the last position, and he could feel them flying almost straight up. It was incredible to feel the wind in his hair and the tingling in his stomach, and even though he couldn't see it, he knew the view must be incredible. He wondered how high they were from the ground, and remarked on how weird it was to be suspended in mid-air, without knowing if the ground was right under him or a mile away.

"Okay, bud, I think that's high enough," Hiccup shouted over the wind as he moved them back to a horizontal position. They glided in circles for a while before Hiccup gently started to descend. He knew Astrid would be arriving in the cove soon, and she always punched him if she saw him doing something she called 'reckless'. He had tried to make her understand there was no other way to train Toothless, but she just snorted, like she didn't believe him.

She had also refused to join him in the air, saying Vikings should stay on the ground. He knew he should be glad she was helping him this much, but he couldn't help but wish he could share this amazing experience with her.

"Okay buddy, when we're near the ground you have to say 'up' again, or we'll go too fast," Hiccup told Toothless as they started to descend faster.

Suddenly Toothless made a weird sound, almost like a snore. But before Hiccup could think about it, the dragon's paws hit the ground hard and Hiccup was thrown from the saddle. Maybe he should make a safety rope, he thought as he flew. Luckily he landed in a large pile of strange grass.

"You need to say 'up' before we land, buddy! Otherwise we crash like that," he said, before he was interrupted by weird sounds. It sounded like grass being squashed and Toothless making strange noises. Hiccup started to feel around him, trying to figure out what was going on. He found a whole field of the weird grass, and Toothless seemed to be rolling around in it. Judging by the happy noises he was making the dragon was having the time of his life.

He wondered if it had something to do with the grass, and he grabbed a handful of the stuff and held it next to Toothless' nose. The dragon made a snorting noise before falling asleep. Hiccup couldn't help but smile as he realized he had discovered some kind of dragon sedative. He grabbed some more of it to give to Astrid later.

While Astrid was still wary of Toothless, she loved learning things she could use in dragon training. Hiccup was happy to help, hoping to save the dragons from the wrath of her axe.

His smile disappeared when he realized he was in the middle of who-knows-where and his seeing dragon was knocked out for a while. Sighing, he sat down next to the dragon and grabbed a sheet of copper and his knife from his pocket. He started designing a safety system with multiple ropes and hooks to keep him in the saddle. He was confident Astrid would help him build it with the way she kept going on about his safety.

He would need it when he was going to teach Toothless the word 'down'.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After dragon training Astrid would meet Hiccup in the cove, and they'd tell each other about their day as they shared lunch. Afterward Astrid would train while keeping an eye on Hiccup playing and training with Toothless. She wasn't sure how she felt about the blind kid controlling a large flying dragon, but she knew how important this was to him.

Hiccup had tried to explain it to her one time, talking about how he felt that Toothless was imprisoned in the cove and that was his fault. It was his duty to fix that.

Astrid couldn't help but wince as she was reminded of her role in Hiccup's blindness. That had been her fault, but there was nothing she could do to fix that. All she could do was make Hiccup as happy as possible. If that required him flying on a dragon, she'd take it.

And she got a lot in return too. The tricks to use in dragon training were nice, but she secretly felt that spending more time with Hiccup was even better. With the secret revealed the awkwardness between them had lessened immensely, and she talked to him like she had never talked to anyone before. They talked about everything and nothing, swapping embarrassing stories about their childhood and making jokes about the other Vikings.

It felt like she didn't have to impress Hiccup, since he was already so in awe of her. She had noticed he kept saying she was awesome or cool. When Snotlout would say stuff like that she'd feel disgusted, but somehow when Hiccup said it it felt real. Genuine, somehow. She liked to think that she could tell now when Hiccup was lying, and he certainly wasn't lying when he complimented her in his awkward way.

There was one thing they didn't talk about, though. Astrid secretly felt glad they never approached the subject of Hiccup's blindness. It was always referred to as the 'you-know', the 'thing' or 'it', and they certainly never talked about how _it_ happened. She wondered if Hiccup was angry at her for it, but she didn't dare to ask.

And he never mentioned it either.

She was sitting on a rock in the cove, sharpening her axe when the thin white line in the metal caught her eye. It marked the place where they had attached the new blade to the old one. It was like a scar, reminding her of what had happened every time she swung the axe.

She looked at Hiccup and Toothless wrestling a few yards away. She wondered if Hiccup was reminded of _it_ when he heard her sharpening the blade. He seemed happy, oblivious to the world as he threw himself at Toothless, who merely seemed to laugh before pushing the small boy over. The dragon then simply dropped himself on Hiccup, completely hiding him from view.

Astrid laughed, knowing he wouldn't be hurt. Toothless would never hurt Hiccup on purpose, that was clear. The dragon would even retract his teeth whenever Hiccup touched him.

Maybe Toothless wasn't such a stupid name after all.

She continued sharpening the axe, changing the angle with which she held it in her arms so she could work the other side.

Suddenly, Toothless jumped up and pounced a random patch of dirt. The unexpected movement made her jump, and Toothless immediately started pouncing another spot on the ground. She looked closer and saw a little light that Toothless was following. She slowly stood up to investigate further when the light moved. She looked down and saw sunlight reflecting from the blade of her axe.

A smile appeared on her face as she started to understand. She moved her axe a little bit, and the light danced away, Toothless following like he was chasing a prey. She laughed as she made him run around Hiccup, who was looking very confused. Finally she shone the light at Hiccup's stomach, and winced when Toothless jumped in top of him.

"Ow! Why would you do that?!" he exclaimed loudly, and Toothless jumped back, shocked that he had hurt Hiccup. The dragon began licking Hiccup's face and stomach, clearly trying to say sorry, and Astrid felt like she should apologize as well.

"Sorry, Hiccup. I wasn't trying to hurt you there," she said, and she wondered why she couldn't simply apologize for that other time she had hurt him.

"It's okay. How did you do that?" he asked in a curious tone as he scratched Toothless. Maybe he would be as understanding about the… incident as well if she brought it up?

But she was scared. It felt weird. She had never shied away from anything, priding herself on never running from anything.

But somehow apologizing was the scariest thing she had ever encountered, and she wasn't sure if she would ever gather the courage to do it. She wondered when she had become so… mushy, being scared of stupid things like _feelings_ and _apologies_.

"Oh, Toothless follows lights, so I made light reflect from my axe," she told him, and she could see the gears in his head turn as he considered this new information. She suddenly wondered if he was as scared of talking about it as she was. Maybe he was continuously thinking about how to talk about it?

But if Hiccup with his brilliant mind couldn't figure it out, how was she supposed to do it?

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After dinner they would wait until Gobber had left the forge before sneaking in. They would forge new parts for the tail fin, stitch together saddles, and Hiccup would teach her more about blacksmithing.

He hoped they hadn't been noticed yet by the village. Some of the things they were making, like the saddle, would be hard to explain if someone were to walk in. Thankfully that hadn't happened yet, though Hiccup was sure that would change now that he had let Astrid use the anvil.

BANG!

BANG!

BANG!

"Hey Astrid! Hit it even harder! I don't think the people on Meathead Island heard you yet!" Hiccup shouted at the girl trying to forge simple rods. He wasn't sure if he was imagining it, but he thought his hearing had become sharper over the last week, and he winced every time Astrid hit the anvil like she was trying to kill it.

He was sure everyone in the village could hear it, and he hoped no one would come to investigate. Hiccup was designing a new saddle that had room for two riders, and he hoped Astrid would help him with it. She was still adamant about keeping her feet on the ground, though Hiccup had noticed she seemed to become less opposed to the idea as Hiccup's flying technique became better.

"What?!" she shouted at him while hitting the molten iron again, creating another loud bang.

"Be more gentle! You're not Thor!" he shouted back while holding his hands over his ears. Thankfully Astrid stopped pounding the metal as she shouted back.

"Why would I be gentle? And besides, Thor is a cool god!" she said with an insulted voice, but Hiccup knew she was joking. He sometimes wondered if this entire thing was just some big game to her. Something to distract her from dragon training. He wondered whether she really understood how serious this all was. Whether she understood what the consequences would be if they were caught.

"Because you're waking up the whole village, and I don't want them to come in here and learn about the you-know-what," he told her, whispering the last part.

"Oh, come on Hiccup, what would they see? A piece of copper and some iron rods. They would never discover Toothless from that!" she said, and he could hear her put the rod in the cooling barrel before she walked over to him. He stood up and ran towards her, shushing her.

"Shh, don't talk about You-know-who!" he whispered to her, hoping no one had heard that.

"Oh, lighten up. I think I managed to make a decent rod, by the way. Can you check it?" she asked in a strangely shy voice, and Hiccup felt weird that she was asking for his approval. He grabbed the dragonhide glove and put it on, and grabbed the metal object from the barrel.

"Uhm… Slightly too thick on this side, but the rest of the shape is great. Though I think it might be a little weak from you hitting it so hard," he said, and he could almost feel her glaring at him. She remained silent, though, and he walked back to the desk where he had left the saddle plans.

"What are you designing?" she asked, and he realized she was looking at the plans. She had admitted earlier that she found it very hard to read the thin lines he scratched into the copper, and he would often have to explain what he had drawn.

"Uhm…" he started to say as he wondered how to explain he was making a saddle for her while she didn't want to fly, without saying anything that an eavesdropper could understand.

"I'm… designing a… thing… for You-know-who, but this one can seat two people, so the can both do… you-know-what. Maybe we can try making it tomorrow?" he hesitantly said, hoping she understood what he was talking about.

"What are you on about?!" Astrid exclaimed, and he shushed her again.

"What I'm saying is that I'm making a you-know-what for You-know-who, so two people can you-know-what on You-know-who at the same time when we see You-know-who again in the you-know-where, you know?" he quickly said, blushing when he realized what he had just said.

They were both completely silent for a few seconds before they both started laughing hard at the exact same time. They laughed for more than a minute before Astrid punched him in the arm again.

"That was for producing such a ridiculous sentence," she told him.

"And for everything else… I'll help you make it. But I'm keeping my eyes on you! I'm only getting on… You-know-who when I want to, and you better not… kidnap me or something!" she said as she grabbed his shirt and pulled him towards her in a threatening matter. Not trusting himself to say anything, he just nodded, and she released him.

He could hear her walk back to the anvil, and he silently laughed. Maybe she would be willing to ride on Toothless soon. But for now it was enough to know she was with him every step of the way.


	15. No More Worries, No More Fears

Hiccup groaned in frustration as he tried to put the new saddle on Toothless. He had been happy that Astrid had finally helped him make a new saddle that would seat two people, although she had insisted that he added a number of safety mechanisms, such as ropes and hooks. He had agreed, given how often he had been flung from the saddle while training Toothless.

Fortunately, he believed he was just about done training Toothless to use the most important words for directions. He had intended to take Toothless on a real flight today, beyond the forest, and make dives and turns that he hadn't dared before while training the dragon.

Unfortunately, it was surprisingly hard to remove an old saddle and attach a new, more complicated one on a dragon that would not stop fidgeting, especially without sight.

When they had made the first saddle Astrid and Hiccup had put it on Toothless together. But Astrid was in dragon training now, and Hiccup hadn't wanted to waste the morning. He was starting to regret that decision as Toothless moved again without warning and Hiccup lost track of which belt he had been attaching to which rope.

It had taken him half an hour to remove the old saddle without damaging the pedal, and now, more than an hour later, he was finally finishing up with the new one. He tied the last remaining belt around Toothless belly, before noticing a rope that shouldn't be there. Then Toothless moved again and the rope was out of his grasp. Hiccup decided not to bother dealing with a leftover rope, and cheered sarcastically.

"Yay, finally done. You know Toothless, this would have gone a whole lot faster if you had just stayed still, you know?" Hiccup told the dragon. His only response was a happy warble, and Hiccup sighed, resigning himself to the fact that Toothless didn't know what he had done wrong. At least they could go flying now.

Hiccup climbed into the saddle and tried to attach all the safety mechanisms to him. He secretly thought Astrid had gone a little overboard as he attached the hooks to his arms, right leg, and belt. When he tried to attach the final one for his left arm, he couldn't find the rope and hook. He frowned, wondering where it had gone. He also noticed the rope on his right leg seemed too short. But then Toothless made an impatient noise and he shrugged.

 _"What could possibly go wrong?"_ he asked himself as they launched into the air and all his worries disappeared. He loved being in the air, not having to worry about tripping over tree roots or walking into walls. It felt like he was swimming in an empty black sea of nothingness, as he didn't even have ground under his feet. The only thing that was real was Toothless guiding him with short growls of "Lurgh", "Rawr", "Urp", and the newest one, "Draw" (down).

It felt strange, having to put all his trust in Toothless knowing which way to go, and in turn, Toothless had to trust him to make the correct pedal adjustments.

But it also felt _right_ , in a weird way.

Toothless made several commands, and Hiccup smiled as they went down, then a sharp right, before going up again. He wondered where they were, and which obstacles they were dodging. He thought he could hear splashing waves over the loud wind, and he supposed they were above the sea.

Hiccup laughed as they went lower and some water splashed on his face. The salty taste confirmed they were flying over the ocean, and Hiccup was lost in thought for a moment as, for a small moment, he felt completely free. He was alone with Toothless in his black room, which had become an infinitely big world containing nothing but air and them, flying without worries, flying without being afraid of anything at all.

He was rudely reminded that the world was not, in fact, empty when Toothless gave a loud call of "Rawr!" moments before they hit some kind of rock. Luckily they hadn't been flying very fast, and Toothless flew on.

"Sorry!" Hiccup shouted as he realized he had missed one of the dragon's commands. Unfortunately, Toothless had roared at the same time as he uttered his apology, and Hiccup hadn't heard what it was.

Before he could ask, they hit another rock.

"Sorry! That was my fault," he said as Toothless gave an annoyed growl. A shot of pain ran through his arm, and it took a few moments before he realized Toothless had slapped him. _"They may not like each other much, but Toothless and Astrid are starting to copy each other,"_ Hiccup thought as he rubbed his right arm.

Toothless roared for them to go up, and Hiccup obliged. The dragon kept roaring until they went up almost vertically, going higher than ever before.

"Yeah! Go baby!" Hiccup yelled as he threw his arms into the air. Toothless roared in celebration as well, and Hiccup moved his foot to stop their ascend. Suddenly Toothless moved to the right, and he was jolted in the saddle. His stomach jumped when they suddenly moved down and Hiccup realized he had accidentally set them to the 'down' position. Before he could move his foot again, there was a strong gust of wind and a snapping sound, and Hiccup was thrown from the saddle.

 _"Maybe Astrid was right about those safety ropes,"_ he thought, before he realized he wasn't attached to Toothless anymore.

He screamed.

"Odin above!" he yelled as he realized he was falling at what felt like a million miles per hour, and his mind seemed to race at the same speed. What had happened? Had the ropes snapped? Had he attached them incorrectly? Did they become loose? A roar from Toothless reminded him of his predicament, and he screamed again as he thought of the ground or sea below.

 _"Calm yourself!"_ he suddenly thought, and he forced himself to focus on a solution. He needed to get back on Toothless, but he had no idea where he was. He could hear the dragon roar all around him, and he had no idea if he was spinning or if Toothless was circling around him.

"You gotta angle yourself towards me!" Hiccup yelled, hoping the dragon could hear him over the wind. He blindly reached out his hands, hoping to grab something.

A few terrifying seconds later his hands touched a wing, and a moment later his shirt was grabbed by the dragon's jaws. Hiccup quickly felt around for the saddle, and moved back into position as fast as he could. The moment he put his foot back in the pedal he set it to the 'up' position, hoping they weren't about to crash as he thought about how fast they were falling. Toothless seemed to grasp his intent as he heard the wings flap open and he was almost thrown from the saddle again as they started to slow down.

Hiccup did his best to reattach the safety system, grabbing any rope he could find and tying it to his clothes. He was fairly sure he was doing it all wrong as he used too long or too short pieces of rope to tie his arms and leg to the saddle as quickly as he could. Before he could think on it more, Toothless screamed a loud "Lurgh!", and Hiccup didn't hesitate to move them to the left.

After that the commands came more rapidly than they had ever done before. Left, right, up, down, up, left, left again, right, up, down, right, left, up, left, right, right, until it blurred together and Hiccup stopped consciously thinking about it. There was nothing but Toothless and his commands. He couldn't think of anything else, not even the rocks or trees he was sure they were barely missing.

Then, Toothless finally calmed down, and they stopped twisting and turning. Hiccup released a breath he hadn't known he had been holding as he understood they were safe. They had made it. They had done it, together!

He tried to raise his arms, but found his right was tied too tight to the saddle and he couldn't raise it more than a few inches. He didn't let that deter him as he lifted his left arm as high as possible while yelling "Yeah!" as loudly as he could.

Toothless made a weird noise, almost like a small explosion, and before he could think on it, Hiccup was struck with a wave of heat and fire. He recoiled, and his left foot slipped from the pedal. Before he could put it back Toothless made a sudden lunge to the left, and Hiccup felt himself slipping over the right side of the saddle.

He yelled, expecting to hit the water or the ground in seconds, but this time the ropes worked. He was turned around as he slipped, and before he knew what happened he was hanging upside down by his right arm and leg, his back pushed against Toothless' side, and the rope around his left arm was tangled around his belt.

"Oh, come on!" he exclaimed as he tried to move his arms and found that he was completely stuck.

"Toothless! We gotta land, buddy!" Hiccup yelled, and Toothless seemed like he understood his intent, turning around slowly and gliding back to a beach.

 _"The gods really hate me,"_ Hiccup thought as he wondered what Astrid would say when she saw him like this. He briefly wondered if this was some kind of divine retribution for trapping the Night Fury in ropes, but he dismissed that thought. The gods couldn't possibly be angry at him for hitting Toothless with a bola cannon, right?

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"Meet the Terrible Terror!" Gobber exclaimed.

As Astrid looked on the tiny dragon she couldn't help but feel insulted. They were nearing the end of dragon training, and this was one of their final tests? She noticed the audience sniggering as Tuffnut laughed at the Terror.

However, that laughter came back to bite him, literally, as the Terror lunged up and attacked Tuffnut's nose. His laughter dissolved into screaming as the audience laughed and the other recruits scrambled for their weapons.

She was starting to see what was so 'Terrible' about it.

Suddenly the dragon released the boy's nose and attacked the ground of the arena. Astrid quickly glanced at her axe and saw the sun was reflecting from the shiny metal. She laughed silently as she searched for a target.

"Hah, it's trying to dig through the ground because it's so afraid of me! Don't you think so, Astrid?" Snotlout boasted as he shot her that disgusting look, and she tried to keep the grin off her face. He would do nicely.

She dropped her shield and grabbed her axe with both hands. Better able to control the light now, she gently started to guide the Terror where she wanted him, towards Snotlout.

"Huh, it's coming towards me! It must know I'm the biggest threat," Snotlout said with a smug grin, but a moment later that grin was wiped from his face when she shone the light at his groin.

"Aah! Get it off!" he screamed with a high-pitched voice, and Astrid tried desperately not to laugh. She wasn't sure what the village would think of her laughing at Snotlout's injuries. So she moved the light back to the cage while she could still hold her laughter.

She slowly followed the Terror to its cage while growling and yelling at it, trying to make it seem like it was her threatening posture that made the dragon run. When the tiny door was locked again she looked around to see the other recruits gape at her, except Snotlout who was whimpering and clutching his groin.

The Vikings on the spectator's ring were talking loudly, and she could hear several flattering things, about how she had talent, how she had a way with the beasts, one even saying she was the best warrior in a generation.

She thought it was weird that when she did unusual things she was the best Viking ever, but when Hiccup did it, he was useless. It wasn't fair, and she couldn't feel proud of the praise. It felt fake, hollow, hypocritical.

But she had to look like the perfect Viking for her trial, so she tried to keep her facial expression as blank as possible as Gobber walked to the center of the ring.

"Lads and lasses! Tomorrow is the finale, where the two best recruits will fight a dragon one last time to decide who gets to kill the Monstrous Nightmare!" Gobber said, and the Vikings responded with a loud cheer. Fishlegs looked embarrassed, clearly knowing he wouldn't be selected, while the twins started arguing which one of them would be selected, before deciding they would face off against each other. Snotlout was finally getting up again.

"Now, the two best recruits are..." Gobber said with a dramatic pause. Astrid rolled her eyes. Like it wasn't obvious already who the finalists were.

"Astrid and Snotlout!" and the Vikings once again cheered. The twins looked surprised for a moment, before they started arguing about whose fault it was that they hadn't been selected. Snotlout produced a very weak and high-pitched "Snotlout, Snotlout, oi, oi, oi!" before waddling out of the arena.

The audience cleared out as well, eagerly talking about their expectations for the fight tomorrow. Astrid was about to leave as well, but Gobber stopped her.

"Could you stay here for a moment?" he asked, and she nodded. They waited until the arena was empty again.

"You're doing really well here in training, lass. Best recruit I've had in years, honestly! That will help when Stoick returns," Gobber told her, and she just nodded, not knowing what to say.

"But what I wanted to ask was, how's Hiccup? I barely see him these days, you know? Did you kids fix that little argument you were having?" he asked her, and she blushed.

"Yeah… We're good. He's good. Better than ever," she said hesitantly.

"I noticed you've been using the forge. What have you been making?" he asked her, and she gulped.

"Uhm… Just some… project… that Hiccup didn't really want anyone to see," she said, hoping he wouldn't press on about it. She released her breath when Gobber nodded in understanding.

She gasped again when she noticed something in the air behind Gobber, and her eyes widened in surprise when she realized the black object racing through the sky was Toothless, and she silently cursed Hiccup. Why would he come so close to the village?

Then she felt guilty again when she realized he probably didn't know where he flew.

"You okay lass?" Gobber asked her, and she was shaken from her thoughts.

"Oh, great! I just… remembered I still have to do some… training for tomorrow! Gotta be in shape, right?" she said, hoping he wouldn't look around and silently gasping in relief when the dragon disappeared behind the mountain again.

"Oh! I… I won't keep you any more then. Say hello to Hiccup for me, okay?" he asked her, and she ran past him out of the arena while shouting a quick "Bye," back to Gobber. As she crossed the bridge she looked around again and saw the black spot in the blue sky had returned. She noticed Gobber had gone into one of the cages, and she hoped no one else was around to see Toothless. She followed the shape with her eyes, estimating they were about a mile away.

She was going to punch Hiccup so hard when she reached him.

She climbed a small hill for a better view, and she saw they were flying almost straight up.

Then she saw something that made her heart stop for a moment. A small shape fell from the large dragon, and they started falling hard. "Hiccup!" she screamed as she was frozen to the spot.

For a few seconds she was sure they would crash, but then Toothless seemed to catch Hiccup. She couldn't see anymore as they disappeared behind the trees.

Her stomach felt like it had turned to stone as she started to run through the forest as quickly as she could, praying to every god she knew that Hiccup was alive. She ran for a few minutes before reaching the edge of the island, and she scanned the water for any sign of a black dragon or a brown vest.

A roar came from her left, and she saw Toothless land on a nearby beach, but she didn't see Hiccup in the saddle.

Toothless wouldn't leave Hiccup behind, right? So why wasn't he flying back right now? Images of a crushed Hiccup ran through her mind as she ran towards the dragon.

"Toothless! Where's Hiccup?!" she shouted as she neared the Night Fury.

"Astrid?" a nasal voice said, and she had never felt so relieved. Toothless turned around to reveal Hiccup upside down stuck to his right side, tangled in a hopeless knot of ropes. For some reason his hair was filled with ash.

"Hiccup! You're okay!" she exclaimed as she ran over to him.

"Yeah… the safety system needs some work. Could you… lend a hand?" he asked her with a smile on his face. She narrowed her eyes at how… relaxed he was about this. She walked over and punched his arm.

"That's for being such an idiot!" she yelled, and Toothless gave a little whimper. She turned to him and petted him. "That's for saving him," she whispered to the dragon, quiet so that Hiccup wouldn't hear.

She turned back to look at Hiccup, and he looked so… sad, hanging there, and she felt a little sorry.

"What happened to you?" she asked him as she started to untie the knots trapping him.

"Well, I think I made… a few mistakes in putting the new saddle on Toothless, and… well… I… fell off. But Toothless caught me!" Hiccup said, his face completely red, and she wondered if it was because of embarrassment or because all the blood was flowing to his head.

"And then I retied the ropes again, but I… might have made a few mistakes," he said as his right hand gestured in the direction of his trapped body.

The ropes were harder to untie than she had expected, and her patience started to wear thin. Toothless also started to fidget more and more, and Hiccup's head was starting to turn a dangerous shade of red. She grabbed her axe and cut the ropes. Moments later Hiccup fell down with a grunt, and she was pushed away by a worried Toothless. The dragon didn't waste any time in making sure his rider was okay, and Astrid took the opportunity to study the saddle. It was tilted, and when she crouched to look at the dragon's belly, she saw that some of the belts were attached at the wrong place.

Hiccup might be a genius, but she wasn't going to let him attach a saddle alone again.

Hiccup was laughing and talking to Toothless about how well they had worked together, and some of her anger disappeared. He was so happy and enthusiastic, and she couldn't resent him for that.

She briefly wondered what the villagers would say if they saw this. Her annoyance at their selective admiration and hatred flared up again, and she didn't want to face them anymore. She realized that while Hiccup and Toothless could fly to the cove, she'd have to pass through the village to get there. After what happened today, she definitely wasn't getting on that dragon, and she didn't really want Hiccup to do so either.

"Hiccup? Can we stay here for a while? Instead of going to the cove?" she asked him, hoping he wouldn't ask why. He merely smiled.

"Of course! It doesn't matter to me where we are. It all looks the same to me, you know?" he said with a chuckle, and she couldn't help but smile.

"Let's fix that saddle then," she said as she started undoing the belts around Toothless.

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Astrid sighed as Hiccup put his fish too close to the fire again. She was tired of correcting him only for him to just put it back a few seconds later. She grabbed the stick from his hand and held it herself.

If there was something she had learned today, it was that there were some things that Hiccup couldn't be trusted to do blindly by himself. Roasting fish was one.

Attaching a saddle was another.

She had to admit he had been fairly good at catching the fish, though. Better than her, at least. Her father had taught her how to hunt deer and other animals, but they had never fished. So Hiccup had shown her how to make a fishing rod and bait the fish.

He just kept surprising her with all the things he knew how to do.

She turned around when Toothless made a vomiting noise and barfed up half a fish. She watched in disgust as the dragon shoved the fish towards Hiccup, who briefly felt around for it. When he found it he smelled it briefly, before recoiling.

"No thanks, I'm good," he said, vaguely gesturing to the fire. Toothless merely huffed before shoving the slimy fish head away from them.

She was a little disgusted by it, but Hiccup didn't seem to be bothered. He merely smiled as he leaned back against the large dragon, looking completely at ease. She was feeling more relaxed as well. It was just… nice, spending the entire day with Hiccup and Toothless, away from the busy village and its gossip and expectations. When she was with Hiccup it was almost like she was in an entirely different world, a world where the war didn't exist. A world where there was no one judging her, no one she had to impress.

A world where she didn't have to fight so hard to keep up appearances.

She wished she could stay in this world forever, but she knew that they had to go back soon, back to the village with its dragon training and prejudices.

But for now, they could stay a little longer and pretend that all of their problems didn't exist.

She noticed Hiccup's fish was done, while hers would need to roast a few minutes longer. She gave Hiccup his fish and he started eating slowly. She closed her eyes as she waited for her fish to finish roasting, but opened them a few minutes later when she heard an odd noise. She knew she had heard that noise earlier today. She looked around, towards the sea, and saw several Terrible Terrors flying in their direction. Her hand went to her axe and she winced at the noise it made as she drew it.

A moment later Hiccup's hand was on her axe, pushing it down.

"Don't attack them yet. Let's just see what they want," he said, and she hesitated. Just this morning she had been fighting such a dragon, and now she had to be friendly? But she trusted Hiccup, so she put down her axe as the dragons landed.

They raced towards Toothless, and she noticed the dragon was guarding his pile of fish with his paws while glaring at the tiny dragons.

One of the Terrors grabbed the fish head Toothless barfed up, and briefly fought with another Terror over it. Toothless, distracted by the squabble, had taken his eyes off his own fish and was only now noticing another Terror grabbing one of his fish. He grabbed the fish with his jaws and easily pulled it back before growling at the tiny dragon.

"What's happening?" Hiccup asked her, and she remembered he couldn't see any of this.

"One of the Terrors is trying to take fish from Toothless," she whispered to him, trying not to bother the dragons.

The Terror, now angry as well, started to prepare a fire blast, but Toothless was faster. He shot a tiny firebolt into the Terror's mouth as it was about to fire, and she saw the gas explode. She felt a little sad for the tiny dragon as he walked away on unsteady feet.

"Toothless shot at the Terror as it was about to fire, and it made the Terror's gas explode," she whispered to Hiccup, knowing he wanted to learn about stuff like that.

"Hmm, so they're not so fireproof on the inside then," he said pondering this new information, as the Terror walked past making whimpering noises.

"Aww, here you go," Hiccup said as he threw the last piece of his fish towards the dragon, who eagerly ate it. But then Astrid got tense again when the Terror moved towards Hiccup. She reached for her axe, ready to use it if necessary.

She gasped when the Terror smelled Hiccup's hand, before moving under his arm and lying against him, between her and Hiccup. It looked… relaxed, not at all like the dragons in dragon training. Hiccup smiled as he started petting the tiny dragon.

They sat in silence for a few seconds, before Hiccup grabbed her hand and moved it to the Terror as well. She started rubbing its neck, and was surprised when the dragon started to purr like a cat.

"Look at this, Astrid," Hiccup said in an awed tone. "This isn't a creature that's extremely dangerous. Does he really deserve to be killed on sight?" he asked her, and she had no answer.

"Everything we know about these guys… is wrong," he eventually said.

As she looked at the purring, gentle, friendly dragon under her hand, she had to agree with him. Another Terror flew over and crawled on his lap, and he laughed as he started petting both dragons.

Astrid looked at Hiccup's face, obscured by the blindfold, and she wondered how he had seen all this. Why hadn't she seen it sooner? As she thought about it now, the signs had been there all through dragon training. The Nadder stopping its charge, the Gronkle's friendliness after she had given it some dragon nip, the Terror playfully following a light.

How had she been so blind? How had they all been so blind? And how had Hiccup, who couldn't see anything anymore, seen it before any of them?

As she looked at him, Terror on his lap and a Night Fury behind his back, she felt disgusted that she had blinded him before giving him the chance to open her eyes.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hiccup felt lighter than he had in years. Interacting with the Terrible Terrors had opened some door in his mind, it had made him realize something that was obvious in retrospect.

They didn't have to be afraid of the dragons.

And Astrid had agreed with him! And now here they were, walking through the forest with Toothless just behind them, and she was holding his hand. He kept telling himself that she was just guiding him through the forest, but normally she just held his wrist or his elbow. Now she was holding his bare hand in hers, and Hiccup didn't know what to do about that.

He hoped his hands wouldn't become too sweaty. But he was sure they would be, especially on this long walk. They had to get Toothless back to the cove, but they had to walk around the large mountain in order to avoid the village. Hiccup had suggested he could fly Toothless there, but Astrid had refused that. She said she didn't trust him alone on the dragon again after the accident earlier. He hoped she would let him fly later, but for now he had given in.

Though the possibility of spending more time with Astrid had influenced his decision as well.

But he was starting to regret that now that he was surely going to sweat all over her hand, and kept falling over, and kept stuttering, and why did he have to be such an idiot?! He knew his worrying would only make things worse, but he couldn't stop thinking about all those scenarios in his head. He kept imagining more and more reactions and possibilities of what she might say if he did something.

He wished he was flying again. In the air his overactive mind seemed to slow down and relax, and he stopped worrying. Plus, if they were flying together, she wouldn't hold his sweaty hands.

Not that he didn't like holding her hand. When he could still see her, he'd always thought it was strong, hard, and cold to the touch. But now that he was holding it, he found that under the hard surface there was actually softness and warmth that was normally hidden to the world.

And he liked touching that softness, and he loved the warmth. If only it didn't make him sweat so much. He was sure she could feel it, but she didn't comment on it. She just kept talking to him, warning him of tree roots and laughing when Toothless caught him when he stumbled anyway. And she just kept holding his hand.

Why would she even hold his hand? Girls held hands when they liked boys, right? So did that mean Astrid liked him? But that was stupid, she couldn't possibly like him. She probably liked strong men who could actually fight.

Who could actually see.

He wished he could see her. He only remembered Astrid as she used to look at him, with disgust or anger. He couldn't imagine her looking at him with kindness. That was probably all this was anyway. She was just helping him, guiding him because he couldn't see.

Was it even kindness? What if she was just guiding him for her own reasons, because she had to look nice to the village?

Wasn't that the deal she had made with Gobber?

He couldn't stop thinking about what she had said in the forge that day. She had told him it was because she was frustrated about his secret, but he kept wondering if it wasn't something more. He wanted to ask her, he wanted to know why she had been so angry with him that she had blinded him. He wanted to know if she still felt this way.

He wanted to know if she was sorry.

But every time he opened his mouth to ask, to talk about _it_ , he couldn't. He didn't dare. For the first time in forever he felt good. This _thing_ with Astrid, whatever it was, was going well. And he wasn't going to risk losing that.

He wondered if she thought about _it_. Did she want to talk about it? But she was so brave and strong. If she wanted to talk she would have done so already.

Because if Fearless Astrid didn't dare to talk about _it_ , Hiccup had no idea how he was supposed to do so.

Feeling more confused than ever, Hiccup was secretly glad Astrid released his hand when they reached the cove. He would just fly Toothless over the wall, and then they would return to the village together.

As he mounted the dragon, Hiccup wondered if she would take his hand again.

Toothless roared happily as they made the short journey, and Hiccup wanted to talk to him about Astrid. He didn't think the dragon would understand him, much less be able to give him advice, but it still felt good to talk.

But he didn't want to risk it with Astrid just below him.

Toothless guided him into the cove, and Hiccup embraced him before walking back to Astrid.

"At least you're not as confusing as her, buddy. I'll be here again tomorrow," He told the dragon before walking back to the girl that made his head spin while trying his best to wipe his sweaty hands on his pants.

"Shall we go?" he asked her, and she took his elbow before leading him out of the valley. He felt a pang of hurt that she didn't hold his hand again. He just didn't understand any of this.

"Maybe we should stop by the forge first, and get some more hooks and rope. To fix the safety system, I mean," Astrid said as they walked past the hot springs, shaking him from his thoughts.

"Oh, yeah, that's probably a good idea. Especially after you cut the ropes," he said, and she punched him lightly on his arm.

"That was your fault for getting them all tangled like that!" she exclaimed while laughing as they walked down the hill to the village square.

"Oh, like you didn't just want to cut things apart with your big axe," he said smiling, but she didn't respond.

She stopped walking and released his arm, and Hiccup could feel something was wrong. The air seemed to grow colder, and now that they had stopped talking he could hear voices. More voices than there usually were. He felt a sinking feeling in his stomach as he tried to figure out where all those whispering voices came from.

Then the voice rang out that he dreaded the most.

"Hiccup," said Stoick the Vast.

The expedition had returned.


	16. Defiance

"That was your fault for getting them all tangled like that!" Astrid told Hiccup as they walked into the village. She looked at the boy next to her, he was laughing while rubbing his arm where she had punched him, and she felt so… free and light, like she was flying. Like there was nothing to worry about. Then she looked forward to the village square, and her heart skipped a beat as she was dragged back down to Earth.

There was definitely something to worry about.

It was busy, way too busy. Because of the setting sun behind them, all she could see of the people in the square were silhouettes, but the shape that approached her was too big to be anyone else. Chief Stoick was walking towards her. Behind him she could see other Vikings that had been on the expedition. She caught a glimpse of her parents, who were talking to Gobber. Her father looked furious. Normally she would have run over there to greet her parents, but she was frozen to the spot, unable to look at anything but the gigantic man walking over to her.

She dropped Hiccup's arm like it had burned her and tried to take a stoic and proud stance. She couldn't appear weak before the chief. She had to look like the perfect Viking. Like someone who wasn't afraid of anything.

She couldn't give any hint that she really just wanted to throw up.

Stoick walked closer, and she noticed he wasn't really looking at her. He was looking at Hiccup, and Astrid saw the confusion on his face make way for a look of shock.

"Hiccup?" he asked in the most uncertain voice she had ever heard the chief use. A moment later the shock was gone and the chief's face became unreadable again.

"H-Hey dad, how was..." Hiccup started to say, but he was cut off by his father.

"Is it true? Is it true what Gobber said?" the chief asked, and she wondered how much Gobber had told him.

"I-If you're r-referring t-to the, uhm… accident in dragon training, then… Yes…" Hiccup stuttered, looking more nervous by the minute. Astrid could see his hands shake, and a small part of her wanted to grab them and hold them still. But she couldn't do that. Vikings didn't do that.

"So you are blind?" Stoick asked, and for one small moment Astrid saw something she never expected to see. The chief looked… broken, somehow. His face showed a pain she had never seen before. But then the moment passed and the expression became angry again, and she wondered if she had imagined it. Hiccup nodded before lowering his head to 'look' at the ground, and she felt a pang of guilt in her heart as she saw how small Hiccup looked compared to his father. He looked terrified and ashamed as he literally stood in his fathers shadow, and it was her fault.

A crowd started to form around them, and Astrid could hear loud whispering. She heard hers and Hiccup's names several times, and she knew the tale of Hiccup's blindness was spreading to the members of the expedition. She refused to look at them, only staring at the chief, whose face showed more and more anger as he looked at Hiccup's blindfold.

Astrid tried not to lean back when Stoick turned to face her, fury in his eyes. "You. You did this?" he said, and she didn't know how to answer. She had run this scenario over and over in her head countless times, but now her mind was blank. She couldn't remember any of the speeches or responses she had prepared, and all that was left was the truth.

"Yes," she said, before lowering her eyes to look at her boots. She couldn't look the chief in the eye anymore. Not after what she had done.

The crowd gasped before turning into a mass of loud voices, all talking at the same time. She looked up slightly, and behind Stoick she could see Snotlout and his father, Spitelout, whispering and pointing at Hiccup and her. Next to them were her parents, looks of shock on their faces.

"Why? What happened?" Stoick asked her in a flat voice, and she lowered her head again. She didn't know what to say. She had no answer. She could feel the crowd judging her every move, and she certainly didn't feel like a strong Viking now.

The silence grew, but thankfully Gobber intervened. "Maybe this isn't the place for this, Stoick. Maybe we should go to the arena, and I can explain what happened. In private," Gobber whispered the last part, but so loudly Astrid was sure the entire crowd had heard.

Stoick looked at him for a moment before turning back to her. "Fine, but Astrid comes with us too. I want to hear her tell the story," he said, and she gulped. On the one hand she wouldn't be surrounded by curious villagers, but she didn't look forward to having to relive the memories in the arena.

"There will be a trial tomorrow morning in the Great Hall on the subject of Astrid Hofferson's role in causing the heir of the tribe to go blind!" Stoick announced in a loud voice. "Everyone is allowed to attend and speak."

The crowd started talking again, and she looked up to see Gobber walking up next to Stoick. "Uhm, that might not be the best time. The dragon training finale is tomorrow morning, Astrid versus Snotlout, and I don't think her fans would be happy to miss seeing the star shield maiden in action," Gobber said. Stoick glared at him, before raising his voice again.

"Change of plans. The trial will be right after dragon training tomorrow," he announced, before lowering his voice. "I'll be interested to see you in action," he told Astrid, and she tried not to break under his murderous gaze. She had always longed to have the chief notice her, but she never expected it to go like this.

There was an awkward silence in their little group in the midst of the loud voices of the villagers before Gobber spoke up again. "Shall we go to the arena then?" he said in a light voice, like he was suggesting they go to the Great Hall to have a drink.

Stoick sighed before agreeing. Astrid was reminded there was someone else in their little circle when he spoke up. "Bye Astrid," Hiccup said, and she turned towards him. His mouth was open, and he looked like he wanted to say something else, but didn't know how.

Somehow seeing Hiccup so helpless opened some reservoir of courage inside her, and she turned to the chief who was already walking away towards the arena.

"Chief? Hiccup needs someone to escort him home. Normally I'd do it, but now..." she said, and Stoick stopped. Before he could say anything, a voice she hadn't expected rang out.

"I'll take him," Snotlout said, and she narrowed her eyes at him. Why would Snotlout want to help Hiccup? Was it some kind of trick? Behind him she could see Spitelout looking at her with a strange look in his eyes.

Before she could object, Stoick spoke. "Fine, bring him to my house. Now let's go," he said before waving her on. The crowd parted before them as Snotlout walked past her with a smug look in his eyes. She briefly considered hitting him as a warning, but dismissed the idea. It would enrage Stoick if she attacked a helping villager for no reason.

So she merely glared at him before following the massive chief.

It wasn't until they reached the bridge to the arena that she realized she hadn't had the chance to talk to her parents.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hiccup was felt numb as he heard Astrid and his father walk away. He wanted to scream, he wanted to shout, he wanted to tell his father that Astrid hadn't done anything wrong, that she didn't deserve to be questioned or put on trial, even if he wasn't sure of that himself. He just wanted her beside him, he wanted her to guide him home, because she wouldn't steer him wrong.

But he knew his father wouldn't listen, that saying any of those things would only make things worse. Astrid would just be embarrassed to be defended by Hiccup the Useless in front of the entire village. She had her deal with Gobber to help her, she didn't need his pathetic attempts to help.

He desperately wanted to do something, _anything_ to help her, but he didn't know how. He could hear the villagers around him mutter and talk, about him, about Astrid, about her prowess in the ring and his uselessness.

He wanted to get away from there. He wanted to be alone, and think, think about what he would say to his father, think about what to do at the trial. So he didn't resist when Snotlout grabbed his arm and roughly pulled him away. He couldn't help but think that Astrid's hands were much more gentle, and she wouldn't let him stumble so much. He didn't want to stumble, it made him look even more useless, and it made Astrid look even worse because she had made him more useless.

Snotlout didn't say anything as he lead Hiccup away from the crowded village square, and he noticed they weren't going to his house. Where was Snotlout taking him? Was he going to be dumped in the forest again?

Before he could open his mouth they stopped with a jolt. "I don't know how you found your way back last time, but this time I'll make sure you won't. I can't allow it," Snotlout said, and Hiccup felt dread creeping up on him. Before he could ask anything he was overcome by pain as Snotlout punched him in his stomach.

Hiccup fell to his knees as more punches followed. He tried to curl up, make himself as small as possible, hoping Snotlout would get bored soon. A punch to his arm made him think of Astrid, and how she punched him there when she was angry with him. He could almost hear her in his head.

 _"Why are you so weak?"_ she asked. _"Why don't you fight back?"_

And Hiccup didn't have an answer. He felt ashamed for giving up. Astrid would never stop fighting, Astrid would tell him he was an idiot for getting hurt, and would tell him to get back up. If she saw him like this she would look at him with that disappointed look in her eyes that he had seen so often. That look that he had never wanted to see again.

And somehow, that memory of Astrid made him stand up. It made him do something he hadn't done in years. It made him curl his hand into a fist and punch the area in front of him. A slapping sound and a groan told him he had hit something. For a moment he felt strong and brave, and the punches stopped.

For a moment he didn't feel so useless. For a moment he didn't feel so weak.

The feeling of triumph lasted but a second before Snotlout made an angry battlecry and grabbed his arms. Before Hiccup could comprehend what had happened he was back on his knees, his arms held in a tight grip behind his back.

"How dare you?" Snotlout's voice rang out behind him. "How dare you hit me?" he continued as he kicked the back of his head.

"Let's make sure you won't do that again," he said in an icy voice, and Hiccup wondered if fighting back was the stupidest thing he'd ever done. He gave a cry of surprise when he could feel Snotlout fumbling with the knot of his blindfold, the other hand still holding his arms. He tried to get his arms free, but Snotlout was too strong.

A moment later the knot was released, and Hiccup was glad Snotlout was behind him as the familiar feel of the cloth on his face disappeared.

"No!" Hiccup yelled when he felt Snotlout yank his arms together and tie the blindfold around them. Seconds later his wrists were bound together, and he could hear Snotlout walk around him.

"That's what you get for fighting back, Useless," Snotlout said, and Hiccup stopped struggling. The knot was too tight, and his hands started to tingle as the veins in his wrists were constricted. He could sense Snotlout was trying to look at his face, so he moved his head down, facing the ground. He would not show his scars.

The resistance was futile, however, as Snotlout grabbed his hair and yanked his head up. "Wow, you're one ugly son of a troll, aren't you?" he said. "You know, I was planning to drag you to the forest and leave you there, but now I think the village should see this. I doubt you'll still be heir if they see how ugly you are. They'll realize they'll need a good-looking heir, like me. And if Astrid sees you, she'll come running straight to me as well. I mean, look at you. What could she possibly like about such a hideous face? She'll take one look at you, and realize how useless you really are, Useless."

Hiccup wanted to scream, he wanted to deny it, say Astrid wouldn't think he was useless. But he couldn't. It was true. He was ugly. He was useless. He couldn't even fight back. So he just dropped his head again, hoping the torment would be over soon.

He didn't move when Snotlout stood up and walked away. He didn't react to Snotlout's laugh. He just faced the ground, feeling too useless to do anything else.

"Just keep walking straight forward and you'll reach the village," Snotlout said, and the sound of footsteps slowly died away as well.

He was alone again.

His arms were still bound behind him, and he tried to get them free, but he couldn't. He was suddenly reminded of Toothless trying to climb the walls of the cove before Hiccup had made him a new fin.

He wondered if Toothless had felt useless. Maybe he had, but Hiccup knew Toothless wasn't useless. He was an amazing creature, and an amazing friend. What would Toothless do if he were here? He would probably comfort him, and release him from his ties, like Hiccup had done for him.

Somehow that thought made him stand up again. It didn't matter if the village thought he was useless or ugly. Toothless wouldn't think he was useless. And if a creature as amazing as a dragon thought he was worth a damn, maybe he was. Toothless trusted him to control the fin. And if he could blindly control the fin of a dragon flying hundreds of feet above the ground, then he could walk into the village with his head held high.

So he walked forward with long strides, not caring who saw him. He'd walk into the village and ask the first person he'd find to release him. And he wouldn't be ashamed.

He could hear the sounds of the village coming closer, and he walked faster. He could do this.

His feeling of triumph was destroyed when his foot slipped on something and he fell. He groaned as he fell face first on the ground.

 _"Why do the gods hate me so much?"_ Hiccup asked himself when he realized the ground was sloped, and he couldn't stop himself when he started rolling down the hill. Moments later he collided with a wall with a loud bang. He groaned in pain as he laid face-down in the dirt, listening for any Vikings that might have heard him. Nothing. There was silence.

"Crap. Crap, crap, crap, crap, crap!" Hiccup started muttering as he tried to get up. He couldn't get his legs under him. He couldn't use his arms to lift him up. He tried rolling over and rolling back with his legs bend. He tried getting his arms to his front, by moving them around his legs, but nothing worked.

He was stuck.

 _"So much for keeping my head high,"_ Hiccup bitterly thought as he considered his predicament. He seemed to be on the edge of the village, next to some building, but he had no idea which. He considered calling out for help, but he hesitated. He didn't want anyone to see him like this.

Before he could decide, he heard voices approaching. After a moment he identified one of the voices and he froze. He wondered if the gods were just torturing him now as Tolfdir Hofferson approached him. "…believe she'd do something like that!" Astrid's father shouted.

Tolfdir was the last person he'd want to see him like this. Hiccup had met him several times, his father and him got along very well. What the Hofferson clan lacked in wealth they made up for in warrior skill and adherence to tradition. Stoick had often told Hiccup what a great and honorable man Tolfdir was, and Hiccup could always hear the question hidden in the praise. _"Why can't you be more like Tolfdir?"_ was what his father was really asking.

Hiccup knew what the warrior would think if he saw him lying bound in the dirt. He would only see weakness. Hiccup doubted the man would even help him. Years ago, he made the mistake of showing Tolfdir one of his sketches of a new catapult when he came over for dinner, and the man had laughed in his face before warning him of the folly of such crazy ideas.

The fact that Hiccup had almost burned down the Hofferson's house with an oil bomb invention a few years back had only made the man dislike him more. He had never seen anyone as furious as Tolfdir had been then.

"You know what, I'm not even surprised," Another voice said, which he identified as Kirsten Hofferson, Astrid's mother. At least she had never looked at him with hatred. She had always been a kind woman, who had even complimented him when she saw him drawing once. She was a popular storyteller, often reciting the old legends like Beowulf during feasts. She was so different from her husband Hiccup often wondered how the two had ever ended up married.

"What?! Why wouldn't you be surprised?" Tolfdir's loud voice said. Hiccup could hear them approaching from behind the house he had collided with, and he hoped they wouldn't find him.

"Because that's what you've taught Astrid," his wife said as Hiccup heard a door open only a few yards away on the other side of the wall.

"I never taught Astrid she should hurt people! Quite the opposite! I tried to teach her how to use her weapons safely. What about you? Didn't she promise you she wouldn't maim her classmates? Well, she certainly broke that promise!" Tolfdir said heatedly, and Hiccup could hear the clatter of bottles and mugs.

"You seem more upset that she broke a promise than about the injury the Haddock boy suffered," Kirsten said, and Hiccup laid his head back on the ground. He shouldn't be hearing this. He didn't want to hear this.

"Yeah! I am! With this stupid act she threw away her honor! We're lucky if she isn't cast out!" Tolfdir shouted. Hiccup tried to keep as quiet as he could while trying not to hear anything else.

"Exactly! You taught her that her stupid honor is more important than caring for others! Didn't I tell you how angry she has become? Maybe if she had learned to control that anger none of this would have happened," Kirsten said.

"What would you have me do, then? Let her play with Hiccup Haddock?" Tolfdir asked furiously, and Hiccup winced every time he was mentioned. He wished his hands were free so he could cover his ears.

"Yes! Maybe that would have been a good thing! Didn't you see them earlier, Tolf? Did you see what he did to her?" Kirsten asked.

"He made her hold his arm! She had to touch that filthy boy!" Mr. Hofferson said.

"No. He made her laugh," Kirsten said in a calm voice. "She was laughing, Tolf. When was the last time you've seen her laugh?" she asked him.

There was a long silence, and Hiccup carefully lifted his head again. Astrid's mom didn't hate him for interacting with her daughter?

"I… I don't remember," Tolfdir finally said, and he sounded… defeated, in a way.

"Exactly. You've… We've taught her nothing but fighting, and war, and honor, and anger. But maybe her being forced to help the boy has taught her about something else. Something… we've forgotten," Kirsten said in a tired voice.

"But we're at war! What use is laughter in battle?" Tolfdir asked her, and Hiccup could hear a hint of desperation in his voice.

"What use is being able to fight, if she is so cold and alone she has nothing to fight for?" Kirsten said.

There was a long silence, but eventually Tolfdir spoke again.

"Maybe… Maybe you're right. But why did it have to be Hiccup? Why did she have to be forced to assist the worst Viking this island has ever seen?" the man said, and Hiccup tried to ignore the insult. But it still hurt, no matter how often he had heard it before.

"He's not the worst, Tolf. Have you seen the Thorston twins? They cause destruction all the time, for fun. At least Hiccup means well," Kirsten said, and Hiccup gasped. She didn't think he was the worst Viking ever? He immediately felt pathetic for being so happy about such a lousy compliment, but for some reason it made him feel a little better.

"Well, maybe he wasn't the worst earlier, but he sure is now! He's blind, Kirsten! What's he supposed to do to help our tribe? If Astrid is forced to marry him, how is he supposed to provide for her? He can't fight, he can't hunt, he can't be chief! Admit it, love, Hiccup is useless now. He'll only be a burden on her," Tolfdir said, and all the warmth in Hiccup's heart disappeared.

He knew it was true. Even if Astrid were to miraculously like him, he'd never be able to marry her. Her parents wouldn't approve. The village wouldn't approve. He would be a useless husband.

Why would she marry him if he only dragged her down?

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"So let me get this straight," Stoick said as he walked around the arena. "The dragon was already restrained, there was no immediate danger, and you still managed to maim my son?"

Astrid had to admit that when you say it like that, it was pretty bad. "It was an accident, chief. I just tried to… to teach Hiccup something," she said, and she cringed inwardly. It sounded so weak. She wished she had learned how to debate, how to fight with words instead of axes.

"Oh? What were you trying to teach him then?" Stoick asked her in an angry tone, and it took all her willpower not to shrink back. She had to be strong now. Her strength was all she had.

"I… I… I was… I told him to focus. I said he should stop asking Gobber questions and actually fight the dragon. And then I… pointed my axe at him…" she finished. She honestly didn't even remember what she had said to him. It had seemed so important then. But then all that importance had burned away in a mess of dragon fire and screams.

She couldn't face the chief anymore, and she looked at her boots again.

"The axe with dragon fire on it?" Stoick asked with a mocking voice. She bit back an angry response and merely nodded.

"Yes, chief. The fire had melted the axe and it was lighter than I thought, and…" she couldn't finish the sentence, and she hated herself for appearing weak.

"She didn't mean to hurt him, Stoick," Gobber suddenly said. She had half forgotten he was even there. He had stood back without speaking while she had told the chief what had happened that day.

"I'm sure she's sorry. She's been helping Hiccup, assisting him in the forge, cooking for him, that kind of stuff," Gobber continued. Astrid nodded fiercely, trying not to blush as she thought of the other things she had been helping Hiccup with. She wished she could tell Stoick that Hiccup and her really got along now, but how could she say that without telling him about Toothless?

Stoick was silent for a long time, and he wouldn't stop staring at her, and Astrid felt like he was looking right through her, like he could see what she was thinking. She looked down at the ground again.

"Fine. I've heard enough. You can go home now, girl. I'll see you tomorrow in the arena," Stoick eventually said, and she wondered if he tried to insult her by calling her 'girl'. She didn't think on it long, though. She gladly took the chance to escape that piercing gaze and she walked out of the arena as fast as she could without looking like a coward. She could hear Stoick and Gobber continue their conversation in hushed voices behind her.

As soon as the men couldn't see her anymore she broke into a run. She didn't want to face anyone in the village, she just wanted to go to her room and lie in bed. It felt cowardly, but she didn't care anymore. She wanted this horrible day to be over.

She tried not to think about the fact that tomorrow would probably be even worse.

As she approached her house she stopped running and quickly caught her breath. She frowned when she heard voices inside, and she couldn't believe she had forgotten her parents were home as well.

"He can't fight, he can't hunt, he can't be chief! Admit it, love, Hiccup is useless now," she could hear her father say as she walked to the front door. Somehow all the frustration of that day exploded and Astrid felt overcome by anger. How dare he say that? Hiccup didn't deserve those insults!

"He's not useless!" she shouted as she threw open the door.

"What? Why would you say that?" her father asked, and she looked at him. He was sitting at the dinner table, a mug of tea in front of him. But what shocked her was his face. He looked more tired than she had ever seen him. Her mother was sitting next to him, her hand on his shoulder.

"He… He can smith!" she said hotly. It was starting to sink in that she was arguing with her father. Something she had never done before. Her father had always been right about everything, but now she knew he was wrong.

"Really? Without eyes?" Tolfdir asked, and his eyes narrowed.

"Yes," she said as she grabbed her axe from her back. "After my axe got damaged in dragon training he… we… fixed it. It's as good as new," she finished as she showed the axe to her parents, the white line glowing in the candlelight.

Frowning, her father took the axe from her and studied it. "Hmm. Maybe he can hit metal, but I doubt he'll hit a dragon," he said, and she blushed when she thought about how right he really was.

"You worked together on this?" her mother suddenly asked, and she turned away from the axe to look at her.

"Yeah, Hiccup's taught me a lot about blacksmithing," she said, wondering if they'd be mad about that. Her parents briefly looked at each other before turning their gazes back to her.

"Have you learned anything else?" Kirsten asked, and she wondered why they'd ask such a weird question.

"Well… Hiccup taught me how to fish, and cook, and… other stuff," she said, thinking about what he had shown her about dragons.

Her parents looked at each other again, and she swore there was some kind of silent conversation going on.

Eventually Tolfdir spoke again. "Right. But that doesn't excuse what you've done to the boy. We'll talk about that later," he said in a threatening tone, and Astrid shivered. She recognized that tone. That was the tone he used when she had done something very wrong, like break her axe or cry.

"But first we need to speak to the chief," Kirsten said in a more gentle tone as she laid her hands back on Tolfdir's shoulder.

"We'll talk later," her father said as he stood up and handed her her axe back. She wasn't sure what to say as her parents walked out of the front door. Should she wish them good luck? Apologize? Before she could make a decision the door slammed shut, and she was alone again.

Sighing, she sat down in a chair. Clearly she couldn't go to bed yet. Her father expected her awake so they could talk. Then she heard a voice she hadn't expected.

"Astrid!" Hiccup's nasal voice called out. What was Hiccup doing here? The last time she had seen him at her house was years ago. She had come home from training to see the front door charred and Hiccup being lectured by her father about how he "Never wanted to see you or your stupid bombs here again."

Hiccup had stayed far away from the house after that.

She was shaken from her thoughts when his voice rang out again. "Astrid! Outside!"

Frowning, she opened the door and walked outside. "Over here!" he said, and she walked around the house.

"Hiccup, what is…" she started to say, but she froze when she rounded the corner and saw him.

He was lying on his stomach on the ground, his head facing her. He wasn't wearing his blindfold, and she saw everything. Her breath quickened when she looked at the scars, no longer red and black, but a weird shade of pink. His eyes, or rather the holes where his eyes should have been had turned into ugly greyish white valleys, and she felt sick.

A second later Hiccup gasped before moving his face to lie in the dirt. She felt relieved that she didn't have to look at it anymore, but somehow seeing Hiccup so embarrassed was horrible as well. Trying to avoid his face in the dirt, she looked at the rest of him. She immediately noticed his hands were tied with a piece of cloth that she recognized as his blindfold. Who would have done this?

"What happened?" she asked him as gently as possible as she walked around him.

"Oh, you know… Snotlout wanted to show everyone my cool scars," he said, and the sound was muffled from him still facing the ground. Clearly Hiccup didn't think they were cool. She started to untie the cloth around his wrists, feeling furious.

"Why did he do this?" she asked softly. Why would he? Why would he hurt such a sweet boy?

"I… I d-don't know. It's Snotlout, he doesn't need a reason," he said nervously, and she wondered if he was lying as she released his arms and gave him the blindfold. She turned away so he could put it on.

She didn't know what to say. She felt furious at Snotlout.

"I fought back, though!" Hiccup suddenly said as he turned around with a grin, the blindfold once again covering the scars. He looked so… proud, even though he obviously failed.

"Didn't seemed to have helped much, though," she couldn't help but say. She felt bad that she had said he should fight back. It only seemed to have gotten him in more trouble.

"Yeah, but I tried. I hit him once, but I'm not sure where," Hiccup said.

Maybe she should teach Snotlout a lesson. She'd be able to hit him more than once.

"Let's get you home," she said as she pulled him up and grabbed his arm. Hoping they wouldn't run into her parents, they walked the short way to Hiccup's house in uncomfortable silence. When they reached it she could hear the faint voices of her parents inside.

"Well, we're here. Bye, Hiccup," she said, unsure of what else to say. Should she tell him she'd beat up Snotlout for him? It would probably just embarrass him.

She started to walk away when Hiccup's nasal voice stopped her. "Astrid, wait! I… I'm not sure if we'll be able to talk to each other tomorrow, but just in case we don't, I just… wanted to say, good luck in the finale. And… good luck for what comes afterward," he finished, and she felt so… warm somehow. It made her feel so confused. Why did Hiccup always make her feel so weird and mushy? So she did the only thing she could think of to regain control. She punched him.

"That's for getting me into this mess," she said, and he looked so miserable and shocked she was overcome by guilt. Why couldn't she stop hurting him? None of this had been his fault! He had been the one who had supported her through all this! She felt a sudden urge to show that, and before she could stop herself she hugged him.

"And that's for everything else," she said before releasing him. His mouth was hanging open, and he seemed frozen in shock. She suddenly felt really stupid, and she hoped nobody had seen that. Before she could do more embarrassing stuff she ran down the hill to her house, wondering why hugging Hiccup Haddock had made all her problems seem so small for a moment.


	17. Truth and Guilt

The moment Astrid released him from an unexpected hug and ran off Hiccup gave up on trying to understand girls. Astrid was just too confusing.

She was just behaving so… not-Astrid-like. Everyone on Berk knew how close she was to her father. If she was seen with someone, it was almost always Tolfdir. He was the constant element in all the childhood stories she had told him. Her respect for the man was apparent from every word she spoke about him.

But now she had defied that man. She had argued with him, for Hiccup? Why would she ever say that what he said wasn't true?

Why wouldn't she believe him when he said Hiccup was useless? Hiccup knew it was the truth. What did he have to offer her? Nothing but scars and awkward silences. Nothing but weakness and helplessness.

And then she had hit him, before hugging him! He just didn't get that. He could understand her hitting him, she had always used violence to make her point, but why would she hug him afterward? Astrid Hofferson didn't hug people. Did she? The old Astrid Hofferson certainly didn't. The cold Valkyrie he had always admired from afar because she would glare at him if he got too close would never hug him. That Astrid would never talk back to her father. That Astrid wouldn't defend a little hiccup like him.

But over the past few weeks he had met a different Astrid. An Astrid who laughed, who told him embarrassing stories, who helped him for no apparent reason. An Astrid who wouldn't throw dragon fire in his face.

And those two Astrids seemed incompatible, opposite. How could they be the same person? Could she have changed that much in such a small amount of time? Hiccup doubted it somehow. But if she hadn't changed since it happened, then how could the nice Astrid have blinded him? And if the cold Astrid was the real one, why would she treat him so nicely?

Then another thought struck him, something that scared him. If people couldn't change that much in such a short time, then would she be willing to hurt him again? To maim him, to make him bleed? Did she still possess that desire?

He had thought that her little punches were just her way of expressing herself, but what if they really betrayed some underlying desire to hurt him? But then why would she defend him?

Hiccup sighed when he realized his thoughts went in circles and turned to face the door. He wished he could ask Astrid, but he didn't know how. The desire to know why it happened had always been there, but somehow the return of the expedition had made the desire even greater. Astrid had seemed to put on some kind of mask when Stoick had come up to them, and the more he saw how fake it was, the more he longed to know who the real Astrid was.

He wondered how much longer he could go on interacting with her while pretending it never happened. Because that was what they had done. He saw that now. They had been hiding in his black room, where there was nothing but them and Toothless. The village didn't exist in there. The trial they both knew would come didn't exist in there. The deal she had with Gobber didn't exist in there.

The cause of his blindness, the whole reason he was stuck in the black room in the first place, hadn't existed in there.

But he couldn't do that anymore. He couldn't take the make-believe anymore. Somehow his father and Astrid's parents had broken down the walls of his little black room that kept all the ugly things out. He couldn't close his eyes and pretend the real world didn't exist anymore. He couldn't be blind to the past. Not when he was reminded of what happened every time he tried to open his eyes.

But did that mean he had to confront her? He couldn't do that now, not with the trial about to happen. But he didn't even know if they would even be allowed to talk to each other. He didn't even know if she would be allowed to stay on the island.

Sighing, Hiccup reached out his hand to feel for the door, but before he could find it the door opened with a loud creak.

There was a short silence, before a surprised "Hiccup," pierced the air. Hiccup shrank back as Tolfdir walked out of his house. Right, Astrid's parents had gone out to talk to his dad.

"H-Hello Mr. Hofferson! Good to see you today!" Hiccup managed to say, before realizing what he had said. "I-I mean… I can't see you but… it's nice to meet you… here…" he stuttered as he mentally kicked himself for making this even more painful. Realizing he was only going to dig himself deeper if he mentioned the reason they were at his house, he decided to shut up.

There was a short silence during which Hiccup was very sure the man was glaring at him. Then his wife spoke up. "Hello Hiccup. We ought to be going now," Kirsten said, and Hiccup silently thanked the gods they were leaving before he could make an even bigger fool of himself.

He stepped aside and the two adults walked past him with a quick "Bye," and as soon as they were gone Hiccup walked into the house, thankful that this crazy day was almost over.

"Hiccup," his father's voice said. Crap, he had forgotten about him. So much for sleep. He didn't like it, but he knew this would be a conversation he couldn't avoid. His dad would have questions for him, and he'd probably be angry Hiccup managed to get injured so spectacularly.

"Hey dad," he said in a flat tone as he searched for a chair.

"Why are you home so late?" Stoick asked him in a strict voice, and Hiccup could tell he was in a bad mood.

"Oh, Snotlout was supposed to take me here, but then he decided to tie me up with my blindfold and leave me at the edge of the forest," Hiccup said as quickly as he could.

Stoick sighed. "Did you let him beat you up again, son? A future chief shouldn't let himself get beaten," he said, and Hiccup glared at the direction of the voice before realizing that was useless with his blindfold on. He didn't want to be chief. Hel, he couldn't even be chief with his blindness. Had his father not realized that?

He briefly considered starting an argument, but he decided not to. It would be pointless, and he was exhausted enough already. Plus, he didn't think it would help Astrid's case if he argued with his father.

"You know what, dad? Next time I see Snotlout, I'll punch him," Hiccup said, hoping his father wouldn't realize that was a useless promise.

There was a short silence. Hiccup tried to think of the best way to plead for Astrid, but he couldn't figure out how. Before he could decide on the best thing to say, Stoick spoke up.

"Would you punch Astrid? After all, she hurt you even more," he said, and Hiccup's brain stopped for a moment. Punch Astrid? The idea was ridiculous.

"No!" he exclaimed before he could think about it.

"Why not?" his father asked, and Hiccup could hear the disappointment in his voice. He had thought that it would be easier to face Stoick if he didn't have to look at that disappointed expression, but that voice still made him feel so small.

"Because she… She's nice! And she helps me!" he said loudly, hoping his father would listen to him for once.

He could hear a deep sigh. "You know, Hiccup, I've been hearing that a lot today. Gobber says it, Astrid says it, her parents say it, and now you say it as well. But I'm having a hard time imagining a girl that sweet and helpful could throw dragon fire in my son's face!" Stoick exclaimed angrily, and Hiccup shrank back, trying to make himself as small as possible. He knew it was true. It was what he was thinking as well. But he couldn't give in to that doubt now. He had to defend Astrid.

"That was an accident, I'm sure of it!" he said, even though he wasn't sure at all. "She's sorry!"

Is she? He didn't know, but he had to pretend now, to give her all the help he could for her trial. He owed that to her. And if she was exiled, he'd never know for sure.

"You know what I think? I think she's just pretending. I think that you, Gobber, and her, have prepared a whole story for me. Just how long did you think you could hide it from me?" Stoick said, and he winced as he remembered that conversation he had overheard in the forge.

"No, that's not true!" he shouted. Strictly speaking it wasn't true. Hiccup hadn't been part of the deal.

"Damn it, Hiccup! Can't you see it?! She's playing you, using you to pretend she's innocent! There's nothing else going on between you!" Stoick shouted as he slammed his fist on the table, and Hiccup felt overwhelmed by anger. What did Stoick know anyway? He had no idea of Toothless, and of how she helped him. Her help there couldn't have been part of the deal. It couldn't have been some stupid act. There was something real between them, even if he wasn't sure what.

Even if he didn't know why.

"No dad, I can't see that. I'm blind, remember?" he said sarcastically, and before he could stop himself, he continued. "But there's something you can't see even if it's obvious! There's more going on between Astrid and me than there ever was between you and me. At least she tries to help me when I need help!" he said angrily, and the moment he closed his mouth he knew he had crossed a line.

Stoick didn't answer, and Hiccup wondered if he should apologize. But before he could open his mouth the silence was broken.

"Go to your room," his father said, but to Hiccup's surprise it wasn't said in an angry tone. His dad sounded… sad somehow. It was a tone he had never heard Stoick use before. He was too surprised by it to come up with a witty remark, so he just stood up without a word and walked towards the stairs, being careful to dodge the fire pit in the center of the room.

The silence made him nervous as he slowly climbed the stairs. He kept expecting his dad to shout at him, to be angry, like he normally was. Silence between them was nothing new, but this silence was different.

He wondered if for the first time his dad had listened to him. It didn't give him the satisfaction he had expected.

He undid his blindfold and crawled into bed. But even though he was exhausted, sleep wouldn't come. He couldn't stop thinking about Astrid, and who she really was. Was his father right? Was it all a ploy? Did she really not care for him at all? Hiccup found it hard to believe, but he couldn't deny the fact that he was blind. He couldn't see because of Astrid. Was she guilty? He had no idea anymore.

He wondered if he would find out tomorrow at the trial. She might have to speak there, but even if she did, would she speak the truth? His thoughts kept running in circles, trying to find some new way of looking at the puzzle, but unable to do anything without new information. Information that could only come from Astrid herself.

Hours passed, but he kept tossing and turning, unable to find comfort in the house that was suddenly too loud. He could hear creaking and groaning through the floor, and he wondered if Stoick the Vast had trouble finding sleep as well.

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Astrid felt nervous as she walked into the arena alongside Snotlout. She looked around at the spectator's ring, and saw that it was packed with Vikings. There were more than she remembered from last year. As usual, she could see the villagers talking loudly about the upcoming match and making bets on who would win.

Maybe it was because she was inside the ring, but the atmosphere in the arena seemed different than in previous years. The voices were more hushed and tense than carefree and happy. She frowned when she saw Mildew in the crowd, his sheep beside him. Mildew rarely came to the village, especially not to watching dragon training.

Then she realized it. The dragon fighting wasn't the real thing all these people were here for. The main event was the trial, and many of the Vikings were simply here to observe her.

She wondered if they were making bets on the outcome of the trial as well.

Straight ahead, opposite the entrance, she saw Stoick sitting on his ornate throne. He was staring at her with an intense expression, and she quickly averted her eyes to look at Hiccup, who was standing beside him.

Hiccup looked very small, surrounded by taller Vikings. Even when he sat, Stoick towered over Hiccup. She couldn't really read his expression from this distance, but he looked tense. She wished she could talk to him for a moment, to let him know she would be okay, to punch him for even doubting that everything would be alright.

Maybe that would convince her own doubts as well.

Not far from Hiccup she could see her parents. She noticed the weren't taking part in the conversations around them. Instead they chose to look at her with worrying expressions on their faces.

Above the entrance she could see the other teens standing in front of the crowd. Fishlegs looked excited, and the twins were bickering as usual.

Astrid walked to the center of the arena, finding a way through a maze of various waist-high wooden walls. Unfortunately, Snotlout seemed to have the same idea, and he walked up right next to her.

"Hey babe. I know you're cool and all, but I'm not going to let you win. Don't worry though, I'll still love you afterward," he said as he shot her that disgusting grin that made her skin crawl. She couldn't believe he dared to talk to her after what he did to Hiccup. She wished she could punch him, but there were too many people watching.

It wouldn't be wise to hurt a classmate right before appearing on trial for hurting a classmate.

"I'm not your babe. And stay out of my way. I'm winning this thing," she said in the most threatening voice she could muster, hoping he'd finally get the message, but the smug look on his face told her it was useless.

Before Snotlout could respond Gobber spoke up from the entrance of the ring.

"Lads and lasses! It's time to decide who the best dragon training recruit of this year is! Snotlout or Astrid! The rules for today are simple. I'll release a dragon, and the recruits don't know which one. They are only allowed to use the weapons they brought," Gobber said in a loud voice. Astrid drew her axe and looked at the white scar in the metal. She wouldn't attack the dragon with it. After what Hiccup had shown her, she knew the dragons didn't deserve to get hurt.

"Well, let's get started!" Gobber said in a voice that was way too cheerful. As the crowd became louder, Gobber pushed down a lever next to him before ducking under the half-raised gate. Astrid looked around at the gates, but before she could see which of the cages was being opened, smoke bellowed into the arena from her left.

The Hideous Zippleback.

The gray smoke quickly filled the arena. She wondered if Gobber had her trial in mind when he chose a challenge that would make it harder for the audience to see her. She ducked behind the nearest piece of cover and peered over it, trying to see the dragon through the thick smoke.

"If that dragon shows either of its faces, I'll kick its ass," she heard a smug voice say next to her, and she whipped her head around to see Snotlout standing next to her. Why couldn't he just leave her alone?

Once again he was staring at her instead of his surroundings, and she wished the smoke was even thicker, so she wouldn't have to see him. She took some dragon nip form her pouch, knowing the smoke was too thick for the audience to see.

"Ah well, at least we can't see Hiccup, right? I mean, he's even more hideous than the Zippleback!" Snotlout said, and she glared at him.

"What?" she asked in a flat voice, taking her attention off the dragon for a moment.

"Come on, you've seen him, right? Why do you think I pointed him to your house when I left him yesterday? Don't worry, babe. After today you'll never have to see that ugly face again," he said, and she was filled with fury. How dare he?!

Before she could do anything about it, though, the dragon appeared. A head popped out of the smoke and breathed a stream of green gas on Snotlout. When the other head appeared next to her, Astrid didn't hesitate to hold the grass under its nose. The first head looked extremely confused when its partner fell to the floor, but Astrid didn't pay any more attention to it.

She quickly looked around, and saw that the smoke and gas hid them almost completely from the audience. She'd never have a better chance.

Snotlout stumbled backwards, trying to get away from the cloud of explosive gas, but he didn't get far. As soon as he walked past her she punched him in the nose.

"That's for hitting Hiccup," she whispered to him. The boy was frozen in shock and pain, and before he could recover, Astrid took the handle of her axe and punched him in the gut with it.

"That's for leaving him in the forest," she said, before deciding that hadn't been enough. Snotlout stood hunched, clutching his gut and whimpering, his legs far apart.

With immense satisfaction she kicked him hard between his legs, and grabbed the collar of his vest before he could fall over. She pulled him towards her until his face was right next to hers.

"And that's for everything else I don't even know about," she whispered in his ear before dropping him. Hoping he finally got the message, she turned her attention to the remaining dragon head that was prodding its unconscious brother. When it saw her its expression turned from confusion to anger.

"Don't worry, I won't hurt you," she softly said before gripping her axe tighter. She ran and jumped to grab the Zippleback's head, and it immediately started thrashing, trying to throw her off. She screamed a battlecry when she rose above the smoke and could see the surprised faces of the Vikings. She moved the axe in her right hand, pretending to swing at the neck of the dragon, while her left hand started scratching the chin. After a few seconds she found the right spot and the dragon fell down. She jumped off at the last moment, flying through the air and landing gracefully in a somersault.

All that athletic training had been good for something. She could hear impressed noises coming from the audience as the smoke began to dissipate and Snotlout's whimpering body became visible.

"Quiet down!" Stoick's booming voice rang through the arena. "The elder is deciding."

Everyone stopped talking at once and turned to Gothi. Gobber grabbed Snotlout and pulled him to his feet roughly and dragged him over to Astrid. They stood side by side, Gobber behind them. She had seen this scene many times from the spectator's ring, but it felt different standing in the arena, knowing she was being judged by everyone present, not just the elder.

Gobber raised his hook hand to point to Snotlout, and Gothi shook her head. The crowd remained relatively silent, though a few seemed angry they had lost their bets on Snotlout winning.

Then Gobber moved his hand to point towards her, and Gothi nodded. The signal was clear, the same gesture the elder had used for generations, but the reaction of the crowd was very different from previous years. She remembered there used to be loud cheering, and the crowd would jump down into the ring to congratulate the winner.

There was nothing like that now. There was no applause, only loud talking as the entire crowd started discussing what this meant for the trial. Only Gobber tried to create a celebratory mood.

"You've done it, Astrid! You get to kill the dragon!" he shouted, and she turned around to look at him. She barely noticed Snotlout walking away, muttering under his breath, as the realization hit her. She had completely forgotten that she would have to kill the Nightmare. She had been so focused on her trial, she had disregarded the consequences of winning dragon training.

But before she could think more about it, Stoick's booming voice silenced the crowd again.

"Everyone! We're going to the Great Hall now for Astrid's trial. All are invited, and all may speak," he announced, and she noticed that his eyes didn't move from hers, though they seemed to look less murderous than yesterday.

She gulped, knowing that while she might have won dragon training, the real fight was just beginning. A fight she'd never trained for. A fight she couldn't use her axe for, no matter how much she wished she could.

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At last his father's loud footsteps were good for something, Hiccup couldn't help but think as he walked to the Great Hall. Stoick seemed to have forgotten he couldn't find his way by himself, but thankfully Hiccup didn't have to ask someone to guide him. He could just follow the sounds of the footsteps.

Though he wished Astrid could have guided him.

He wished he had a chance to talk to her alone, but there was no way he could find her in the massive crowd moving to the Great Hall, let alone get them away from the prying eyes. As they reached the massive stairs he guessed he'd just have to wait until after the trial to talk to her.

If he still could.

He started climbing the steps very carefully, realizing with a shock that he hadn't climbed these stairs since the… accident, if it was an accident. Hiccup briefly wondered if Loki had poisoned his mind, since all it could seem to do was think about Astrid's intentions. He could hear grumbling behind him, and he knew he was holding up the people behind him with his slow pace. But he didn't dare to go faster. His careful climb might be embarrassing, but it would be nothing compared to falling and rolling down the hill.

At last he reached the top, and he tried to ignore the annoyed mutterings of the Vikings as they pushed past him.

"Hiccup! Finally. Get over here!" Stoick shouted, and Hiccup resisted the urge to sarcastically ask where 'here' was exactly. He just walked towards the booming voice until he bumped into the large table surrounding the central fire pit. There he stood somewhat hesitantly, not sure if he should walk around the fire or just stay here.

Before he could make a decision he could hear his father sigh, and a moment later he was dragged up to stand on the table. He felt very awkward. The Hall was filling with people, and he was in the middle of it all, and he knew everyone was probably looking at him. He didn't dare move, for fear he would fall into the fire he could feel right in front of him.

There hadn't been a big trial like this since Jürgen Barnstadt had been exiled for incurring Thor's wrath, but Hiccup had seen several smaller ones. His father used to drag him along when he settled disputes over land boundaries or the ownership of disputed sheep. He knew Astrid would be standing on the table opposite him, the fire between them. Her parents would be next to her, representing the Hofferson clan.

He wished he could stand next to her, but he was part of the Haddock clan, so he had to stand with his father. Even if he felt like he was more on Astrid's side than his father's.

He wished he could see her. Did she look angry? Remorseful? He knew she was right there, but with all the voices talking at once he couldn't hear her, and she might as well be on the moon.

"Silence!" his father's voice rang through the hall and echoed of the walls, and at once the talking stopped. The only sound was the crackling of the fire.

"Now. We are here to discuss what should happen to Astrid Hofferson, who stands accused of maiming Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III, my son. What do you have to say for yourself, Astrid?" Stoick demanded, and Hiccup could turned his head forward, to face the place where Astrid was. He felt tense and nervous, as he wondered what she would say. Would she be cold and distant? Open and kind? Would it be a lie, or the truth? How could he know?

"I didn't mean to do it," Astrid said resolutely. "I… I swung dragon fire in his face, but I didn't want any of this to happen," she continued, and Hiccup was sure he heard her voice shake for a moment. Did that mean she was lying? Or simply nervous?

The crowd started whispering before being silenced by Stoick again. "Oh? So you swung dragon fire in his face, but you didn't mean to hurt him?" the chief boomed, and Hiccup winced at the loud noise.

"No, I didn't… I didn't mean to throw dragon fire. It was on my axe, but I hadn't realized it would fly of when I'd point it at him..." Astrid said stuttering, but Stoick didn't relent in his attack.

"But you swung your axe at my son?! At the heir?" his voice boomed through the hall, and the Vikings started shouting things as well.

Suddenly a voice he hadn't expected rang echoed through the room. "I demand we see the wounds, Stoick! We should be able to see what the girl has done to him!" Mildew shouted. He hadn't even expected Mildew to be there. He usually stayed on his farm, far away from the village.

Hiccup tried to make himself smaller as more and more Vikings started demanding to see the scars. He had expected many things, but not this. All the speeches and retorts he had prepared were useless now.

"Fine. Hiccup, show us," his father said in a voice that was way too calm. Hiccup turned in his direction, and tried to ask him as best he could without words that he didn't want this.

But the silence told him that his father didn't listen to him. Hiccup sighed, and with trembling hands he undid the knot on the blindfold.

The gasps he heard when the cloth fell off his face was the worst thing he'd ever heard. He knew everyone was staring at him as he slowly turned around to show his face. The face that every Viking on Berk had now seen.

Everyone but him.

His grip on the blindfold in his hand tightened, but he wouldn't break. He wouldn't cry. If Astrid could make it through his father's accusations, then he could take the sounds of disgust.

He'd just think of Toothless, who hadn't been disgusted by him.

He knew that it had only taken a few seconds, but it felt like hours before Hiccup finally finished turning in a full circle and lifted the blindfold again. With shaking hands he tied it around his face, and made sure the cloth covered every disfigured ridge.

He briefly wondered what the point of the blindfold was, now that everyone had seen what was underneath anyway. He couldn't ignore the whispering around him as the Vikings started discussing what they'd seen.

"Monster..."

"…Hideous…"

"…Glad I didn't bring the children…"

He bowed his head and tried not to be bothered by it. He wished Toothless was here. He would scare the Vikings away, and then lick and hug Hiccup to make sure he was okay. But Toothless wasn't here. He was alone.

Then Mildew's voice rang out again, louder than all the others. "He's an abomination, Stoick! He looks like a monster now! But you know what? I don't think Astrid is to blame for this!" he said, and Hiccup frowned. Why would the old man say that?

Before Stoick could say anything, Mildew continued. "Today, we all saw how great Astrid fought in the ring. She fought with the strength of Thor himself!" he shouted, and there were several approving comments.

"So wouldn't you say that she is blessed by the gods? She is one of the best warriors in years! But ask yourselves this: Why would the gods let their chosen warrior maim someone else?"

Mildew left a dramatic silence fall there, and the crowd started talking in confused tones. Hiccup felt his stomach turn to stone when he started to realize where Mildew was going with this.

"Why indeed? I'll tell you! It's a message! The gods wanted Hiccup maimed. They wanted to show you all how he isn't fit to fight dragons. And who would be better to send this message than Astrid, who is the embodiment of a perfect Viking. The gods told us that Hiccup has no place among real Vikings!" he concluded, and to Hiccup's horror there were several approving shouts.

"You can't think the gods wanted this to happen, do you Mildew?" Stoick asked, and for the first time Hiccup sensed some kind of… fear in his father's voice. He guessed this wasn't where Stoick had expected the trial to go.

"Why not, Stoick?" Spitelout suddenly spoke up. "I've been telling you for years that Hiccup isn't fit to be heir. He should never ascend to the throne! The gods just confirmed it by injuring him like this," he said, and Hiccup's fears were confirmed. He had expected something like this could happen.

He had always hated the endless lectures on politics his father taught him, but Hiccup had remembered them. And he knew that something as big as this trial would never be just about Astrid's guilt. Politically, this trial was the most important thing that happened in Berk in many years. And many people, like Mildew, would take this chance to further their own ambitions. Spitelout had never made it a secret that he thought Snotlout should be heir. And this was a good opportunity for him to finally get rid of Hiccup.

"This is ridiculous! Hiccup is not the one on trial here! This is about Astrid's guilt, not Hiccup's place as heir!" Mulch said from behind Hiccup's back, and he was grateful for the help.

"It is, if we consider that it's the will of the gods. Fate compelled Astrid to maim him, even if she didn't want to do it. But even if she did, would that be so evil? I think she did us all a favor!" Spitelout shouted, and Hiccup was dismayed when several Vikings applauded Spitelout. The atmosphere in the crowded room quickly became tenser, and more and more people started to speak at once.

"So you consider it just to maim someone if he isn't a perfect Viking?" Stoick accused, but his voice was almost lost in the noise. Unfortunately, Mildew heard it and spoke up again, silencing the crowd.

"Do you think it's right to exile the best warrior Berk has seen in years, Stoick? All to protect your useless son? Consider who is more valuable to the village," Mildew shouted, and many Vikings roared their approval.

"The gods wouldn't consider releasing her just!" Stoick shouted to the approval of other Vikings, and Hiccup started fearing for a brawl. He had never seen a public assembly become so grim, and he wanted to cover his ears with his hands as the discussion became more and more chaotic,

"The gods only value strength. Something your son lacks, but Astrid and Snotlout possess. All Hiccup has ever brought us is destruction and ruin, Stoick! He doesn't belong here!" Spitelout shouted, and Hiccup winced. They seemed to have completely forgotten he was there, arguing about him like he couldn't hear them.

For a moment, he wished he was deaf instead of blind.

The assembly lost all semblance of order at Spitelout's comment, as Vikings from both sides of the argument started to shout.

"Hiccup should be exiled!"

"Hurting a fellow Berkian should never be allowed!"

"Astrid deserves a feast, not a trial!"

"How could we have a chief without eyes!"

"How dare you think to know the will of the gods?!"

"Marry him? She doesn't deserve such a horrible husband!"

"Fate must have made him so hideous!"

"You're hideous!"

"What did you say to me?!"

Hiccup jumped when he heard the sound of a sword being drawn, and he knew the trial was about to turn very ugly. "No! Stop!" he shouted as loud as he could, but his voice was lost in the sounds of accusations, as everyone took the opportunity to vent their frustrations of Hiccup or the chief.

BANG!

BANG!

BANG!

Loud banging sounds of wood hitting wood rang through the Hall, and miraculously, the crowd calmed.

"Quiet down! The elder wishes to speak!" Stoick said, and Hiccup realized Gothi must have been banging her staff on the table.

Thankfully, the crowd did become quiet. They seemed curious to know what the elder, who knew the wishes of the gods better than anyone, had to say about this. There was a tense silence, during which the only sounds were the crackling of the fire and Gothi writing in a patch of sand.

"Okay… She says that she doesn't know the will of the goats…" Gobber said before a loud bang echoed through the Hall. "Gods! Sorry, gods. Anyway, she doesn't know what the gods mean, but there is a way to find out," Gobber said, and there was more sounds of scribbling in the sand as the crowd started to whisper.

"In Norway, there is the concept of a Jernbyrd, an Ordeal of Fire. The accused would have to walk ten yards while holding a bar of glowing hot iron. If they can do it, they're blessed by the gods and innocent. If they can't, they're guilty," Gobber translated. Hiccup frowned. Would Astrid have to walk while holding hot metal? That would certainly give her burns as well.

"Gothi proposed a Jernbyrd for Astrid, but not with normal fire," Gobber said. There was a short pause, and Hiccup swore he could hear Gobber mumble something like "Seriously?" before another bang rang out.

"Okay, okay! Astrid faces the Monstrous Nightmare tomorrow. Let her prove her worthiness against the dragon. If she can slay the beast, she deserves a place in Berk. But if she can't handle the dragon fire, well…" Hiccup knew the rest. The fights against the Nightmares were almost always to the death. The gods would show their disapproval very clearly.

The crowd started talking again, and Hiccup heard many people favoring the idea. Apparently every Viking thought the gods were with them. The pro-Astrid side, lead by Spitelout and Mildew, thought the gods were sending a message, while their opponents, lead by Stoick and Mulch, thought the gods would favor justice.

"Silence!" Stoick shouted. "Well, Astrid. We'll see what the gods think of all this. If you can defeat the Nightmare, you won't be exiled. You will receive a punishment, but it won't be as severe. Your exact punishment will depend on your performance tomorrow. If you can't defeat it, well… the gods will judge you themselves," the chief concluded, and for once, the Hall was silent for a few seconds.

Hiccup noticed his father had said nothing about what would happen to him. He wondered if his fate was tied to Astrid's. If Astrid did well, would Berk think Mildew was right, and ship him off? Would he only be tolerated if she was eaten by the dragon?

Could only one of them be accepted by the village?

Hiccup wanted to scream in frustration as the trial had only given him more questions, instead of answers. He still had no idea why Astrid had done what she had done. Had she told the truth? Would the gods punish her for lying if she hadn't?

The only sound in the Great Hall was the crackling of the fire between him and Astrid, and he wondered which of them was destined to be burned.


	18. Sorry

Astrid felt battered as she climbed down from the table she had been standing on. Somehow being bombarded with accusations by the chief was harder than facing a dragon. She had been about to break when Mildew announced he wanted to see Hiccup's wounds. At first she thought it would be yet another accusation, but then he had said it was some kind of message, that she was blessed by the gods.

Astrid didn't feel blessed. She felt sick. She felt sick that she was being used as some kind of weapon against Hiccup. Those people were saying it had been a good thing Hiccup was blinded. That it was a good thing Hiccup the Useless was hurt. That she should be rewarded for having done it.

It made her want to puke.

She had seen how Hiccup became more and more tense during the trial. It was all wrong. Hiccup was supposed to be lively and vibrant, but he had stood there as still as a statue. If she didn't know better, she'd have thought none of the Viking's words affected him. But now that she knew were to look, she knew the signs. The way his shoulders slumped and his head dropped in an attempt to seem smaller. The way his hands balled into shaking fists.

The way he refused to raise his head, instead choosing to face the ground.

He might have been forced to take off his blindfold, but Astrid knew he was still hiding many things.

She wondered what he thought of her. Did he believe the accusations? Did he believe that she was some kind of divine messenger? That she hurt him on purpose? Had she done so? She remembered little from that day. It was all a blur of screams, smoke, crying and shame. But she remembered anger. She remembered there had been a moment in which she was so incredibly angry with Hiccup. Had she wanted to hurt him then? Had that movement of her axe been some kind of subconscious move, driven by some desire to maim him?

Astrid wasn't sure. All she knew was that she didn't want to hurt him anymore.

"Well, that went about as well as it could go," her father said, and she frowned. She didn't feel like it had gone well.

"Yes, all you have to do is kill the dragon tomorrow, dear. That should be easy, right? After all, you have been training for it all your life," her mother said in a voice that was way too light. That made her realize something else. She'd have to kill the Nightmare. But… did she still want to? She had seen yesterday that dragons weren't horrifying monsters. Hiccup had showed her how this cycle of killing was all wrong.

How could she continue it then? Would Hiccup see it as a betrayal if she killed a dragon? Would the village see it as a sign she meant to hurt Hiccup? Would Hiccup think that?

"I guess," she said, not wanting to explain it to her parents. They wouldn't understand. Hel, Astrid didn't even understand any of it. She looked away from her father and walked towards the door, eager to get out of this place.

Most of the Vikings had left the Hall already. She looked around, and was relieved to see Stoick was gone as well. She didn't feel like facing him. He probably blamed her for all the accusations his son got during her trial.

Speaking of his son, she frowned when she looked across the fire in the center of the room, and saw the twins walk up to Hiccup. They said something to him, and from Hiccup's expression she guessed it wasn't nice. He walked backwards towards the door, and Astrid felt rage when she saw him stumble over his own feet and fall.

Without another word to her parents she ran over to Hiccup and stood between him and the twins.

"Leave him alone," she told the grinning couple.

"What?! We weren't doing anything! We were just saying how cool his scars are," Ruffnut said, and she glared at her. Did they really think the scars were cool? That Hiccup thought they were cool?

"Yeah! Though I'm still pissed that he got burns before me," Tuffnut said, and Astrid grabbed the front of his vest and pulled him towards her.

"Shall I push you in that fire over there? See how you like it?" she whispered to the boy, and he slowly shook his head. Astrid had half expected him to say yes, but he seemed intimidated. She released him.

"Now leave him alone. Or you have to deal with me," she told the twins in a low voice. She noticed some Vikings were stopping to watch the confrontation, but she didn't care anymore. Now that the trial was over she was tired of playing the part of the perfect Viking. Hiccup's safety was more important than her reputation.

The twins looked at her with very confused expressions for a few seconds, but then Ruffnut's face seemed to light up in comprehension.

"Oh! I get it! You want him all to yourself! You're the only one who is allowed to hurt him," the girl said, and Astrid's breath caught in her throat. That wasn't what she meant at all! She didn't want to hurt Hiccup!

Before she could formulate a response, Tuffnut spoke up. "Ah, so if we hurt Hiccup, Thor will blast us with lightning! Because you're his chosen warrior!"

Astrid frowned for a moment before getting an idea. Maybe she could use this. Maybe she could get them to leave Hiccup be.

"That's right. So if you lay as much as a finger on Hiccup, Thor will swoop down and smite you with his hammer, Mjolnir," she said in the most threatening voice she could muster.

"Okay, okay! Even we can't deal with Thor. And being hit by a hammer hurts. Believe us, we tried!" Tuffnut told her, and she grinned. Maybe there was something nice about this whole 'blessed warrior' thing.

"Wanna try it again?" Ruffnut asked her brother with a disturbing grin, and before Astrid could say anything else they ran out of the Hall and down the steps, arguing about who got to hit the other first. She turned around to look at them run off, and she saw Hiccup getting up awkwardly.

She expected him to say something, to thank her, to be embarrassed, but Hiccup just faced her with this… strange, unreadable expression, and it unnerved her. Did he think she was weird or stupid?

"Astrid! Let's go home! We need to discuss your strategy for the fight tomorrow," her father said, and she looked around to see her parents walk out the door. She nodded and followed them outside.

As she walked through the door she saw Hiccup walking down the steps very slowly. As she passed him, he stumbled, and she only caught his arm just in time to prevent him from falling down the steps.

"Be careful, Hiccup," she said as she pulled him back to his feet.

"Thanks… Uhm… Can you please help me get back to my house? Dad forgot about me again, I think," he said to her, his face beet red.

"Uh, let me just ask my parents," she said before running down the steps to her mother.

"Hiccup needs someone to guide him to his house. Can I do that?" she asked hesitantly. Tolfdir looked like he was about to protest, but then Kirsten put her hand on his shoulder and he turned to face her. Astrid swore they were having some silent conversation as they looked at each other, before her mother spoke up.

"Sure. Just get him home safely," Kirsten said to her relief.

"And don't do anything foolish," Tolfdir added, and she wondered if he considered her helping Hiccup 'foolish'.

"Thanks," Astrid said before running back up the stairs to grab Hiccup's arm. "Let's go. Watch your step," she told him, and was almost disappointed when he didn't make a sarcastic remark on how he couldn't do that. He just stayed silent, and she wondered what he was thinking about.

As she helped him down the steep stairs she looked over the village, and she noticed many Vikings were looking up at them. Even her parents were looking back at her and whispering to each other. She wondered how many of the Vikings down there really believed she was some kind of divine messenger. She hated their blatant staring. Didn't they have anything better to do than gawk at her and Hiccup?

For a moment she envied Hiccup for not being able to see the stares, but she immediately felt guilty for that. She couldn't start thinking she had done him a favor by blinding him. There were enough Vikings who thought that already.

At last they reached the bottom of the stairs, and she dragged Hiccup along as she pushed through the crowd. Suddenly she was stopped by an unexpected voice.

"Astrid! Can I ask you something?" Bucket asked her, and she tried to suppress a sigh. She didn't have the patience to deal with Bucket right now. He was very nice, but he could be so draining.

"Okay," she said, hoping this would be over quickly.

"Well, since Mildew said you're chosen by Thor, I wondered if you could ask him to not let it storm so much. Storms hurt my head, you know?" Bucket asked nervously, and she froze. She had no idea what to say to that. Luckily she was saved by Mulch.

"That's enough, Bucket. She can't do that," he told the simple man, before turning to her. "Sorry about that," he said before dragging Bucket back to their farm. She realized she hadn't thanked him, but before she could run after him, she realized she was still holding Hiccup's arm. He had remained silent throughout the awkward conversation, and his silence was starting to freak her out. Hiccup was supposed to be rambling, not this… brooding silence.

The silence was broken moments later, but not by Hiccup.

"So Astrid, did you want to hurt Hiccup?" a Viking she didn't know asked her.

"None of your business," she told the man with a glare before dragging Hiccup with her as fast as she could. But she couldn't escape the villagers, who were now bombarding her with questions she couldn't answer. She wanted to get away from the village. It was all wrong. She wished she was back in the cove with Hiccup and Toothless, without anyone to remind her of what happened.

For a moment she wondered when the cove had become more of a home than the village she grew up in, but she squashed that thought and simply walked faster.

Finally the last of the villagers disappeared when she climbed the hill to Hiccup's house, but before she knocked on the door she turned to Hiccup.

"We're at your house now, but… can we go to the cove first?" she asked him.

He was silent for a few seconds, but just when she thought he wasn't going to answer, he spoke.

"Okay. I wouldn't mind not facing my dad for a while longer," he said with a smile that seemed forced.

"Yeah, I don't want to see my parents right now neither," she said before guiding him to the forest. They walked under the trees in silence for a while, and Astrid wondered if they should talk about the trial, but she didn't want to. She wanted to go back to that secret world in the forest where the trial and the village didn't exist.

But it was never that simple.

"Did… Did you mean what you said to Ruff and Tuff?" Hiccup suddenly asked, and she jumped. She desperately tried to remember what she had said exactly, but she wasn't sure.

"What do you mean?" she asked softly.

"Did you mean it when you said you were the only one who gets to hurt me?" he said in a nervous voice. Why would he doubt that? She'd never let them hurt him!

"Of course!" she exclaimed, before gently hitting his arm to prove her point. Hiccup didn't react like she had expected, though. He jumped back, and she wondered if she had punched him too hard. Didn't she punch his arm all the time? Why would he be so… nervous around her now?

He remained silent for a while, and they reached the hole in the wall. She followed Hiccup inside, and frowned when he didn't greet Toothless enthusiastically. Just a simple "Hey," and not even a hug. What was wrong with him?

"What's wrong?" she asked him as she approached him from behind, and Hiccup turned with more ferocity than she had ever seen from him.

"Do you want to hurt me?" he asked her in a flat voice, and she stepped back.

"No!" she shouted. Why would he think that?

"Then why do you hit me?" he exclaimed, and she didn't know what to do. Toothless seemed confused, and he nudged Hiccup with his head, but he ignored the dragon. Why couldn't Hiccup be nice right now? Didn't he trust her?

"Because sometimes I'm angry with you!" she shouted at him. She was getting angry now. Why couldn't he just let this be? He was supposed to be her friend, wasn't he?

"Oh, so it isn't Odin whispering in your ear?" he said in a mocking voice, and she felt furious. He should know better than that. Hiccup was smarter than that.

"Don't tell me that you believe that bullshit Mildew said!" she told him, a small part of her brain noting their voices were becoming louder and louder. Toothless seemed confused by Hiccup ignoring him, and increased his warbling.

"So you didn't blind me because some god said so?" Hiccup said, and she resisted the urge to hit him.

"No! Of course not!" she shouted, and Toothless growled at her, clearly upset she was angering Hiccup.

"Then why did you do it, Astrid? Why?" he exclaimed, and she was surprised at the… desperation she could hear in his voice.

"It was an accident, Hiccup! Nothing more than that!" she told him. She didn't want to have this conversation, Hiccup was supposed to support her, not accuse her as well!

"And all those other times you hit me? Were those accidents as well?" he asked in a loud voice, and she didn't know what to say. She liked to think those gentle punches to his arm were just little jokes, a way to let him know when he did something silly or stupid. But she couldn't help but remember the times she had hit him not that gently.

The time she hit him in the nose for thinking she didn't care. The time she hit him for embarrassing her. Were those jokes? She remembered a there had been small moments of pure anger then. A second in which she couldn't control herself. A second in which all she wanted to do was hurt Hiccup Haddock.

How were those moments different from the time she swung the axe at him? All her anger disappeared to make way for fear. How could she answer this? Was she losing Hiccup?

She shook her head and slowly stepped backwards, trying to get away from all this.

"I don't want to hurt you!" she screamed at him, and before he could respond Toothless growled loudly.

"You show that in a weird way, then," Hiccup said in a sarcastic voice, and she couldn't take it anymore. She turned around, and without another word she did something she had never done before.

She ran away.

She climbed through the hole in the rock wall as quickly as she could, wondering why facing Hiccup was scarier than facing a dragon.

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 _"Well, now Astrid hates me as well,"_ Hiccup thought bitterly as he heard Astrid running away. He had messed this all up. He had imagined the possible ways the conversation could go over and over again in his head as they walked into the forest, but he hadn't imagined this.

He hadn't imagined he would have acted like such an idiot. Now his worst fears had come true. He had driven her away. Why couldn't he have just left well enough alone? Now she probably never wanted to see him again, and he still didn't have the answers he was looking for.

Why had he let it come to this? Why couldn't he have stayed calm? Why did he have to keep accusing her? He hadn't planned that at all. But somehow, she had started shouting, and he started getting sarcastic, and then she screamed at him, and he was screaming back, and now she was gone. Now whatever they had was broken.

He was pulled from his thoughts when Toothless nudged him, making a soft growling sound. At least Toothless wouldn't abandon him. Even after Hiccup had shot him down, broken him, the dragon had accepted him.

He moved his hands over Toothless' body until he reached the artificial tail fin. He had made that. Even when the dragon was broken, he had tried and tried and tried until he could mend what he had broken. But as he ran his hands over the cloth he remembered he hadn't done it alone. Astrid had helped him with that. Astrid had helped him mend the fin without asking anything in return.

And while they forged that fin, they had forged something else as well. Hiccup saw that now. There was some kind of bond between them. Something that made him feel like they were soaring through the sky, alone in his black room, knowing they could rely on each other.

And as he ran his hands back up Toothless' tail, he couldn't help but think that while the bond between Astrid and him might be broken now, maybe they could reforge it. Maybe he could mend what he had broken.

Maybe he could make them fly again.

But for that, he'd have to find her. He doubted he could follow her through the forest. She was way faster than him, and she could actually see the trees. But then Toothless made another concerned warble, and he got an idea.

 _"Astrid is going to punch me after this,"_ he thought as he climbed into Toothless' saddle. Astrid helped him fix his bond with Toothless. Maybe Toothless could help him fix his bond with Astrid now.

"Come on, bud. Let's find her. She can't have gotten very far," he told the dragon, and moved the pedal to the 'up' position. A moment later they were off, and Toothless started giving him directions. As he moved his foot to obey the Night Fury's commands, he wondered what he would say to Astrid when he caught up with her. He should apologize. He should tell her how sorry he was.

Suddenly Toothless growled angrily, before telling him they should go down. "Okay Toothless, land in front of her. We just need to stop her," he told the dragon as they fell into a dive.

Oddly enough, Toothless didn't land, he eventually commanded Hiccup to keep them flat, and he obeyed, trusting Toothless' judgment of the situation. Maybe they were flying under some trees?

Without warning Toothless roared "Urp!" and Hiccup didn't hesitate to send them up, thinking they were about to hit a rock or tree.

It was only when he heard Astrid screaming underneath the dragon that he realized what Toothless had done.

 _"Yeah, she's going to punch me so hard,"_ Hiccup thought when he realized Toothless had grabbed Astrid. And judging by her screaming she didn't like this at all. So much for mending their bond.

"Really, Toothless? This isn't helping, you know. At least find us a place where we can put her down!" he told the dragon, who responded by growling for him to go left.

He followed Toothless' directions until the dragon stopped, hovering in place. Hiccup wondered where they were exactly, wondering if they weren't too high from the ground to release Astrid safely.

He heard Astrid fall, followed by the sound of wood cracking as Toothless landed on something. Hiccup sighed when he realized the dragon hadn't put her down on the ground. Instead they were hanging on to some tree, and he hoped Astrid had managed to catch a branch.

"Hiccup! Get me down from here!" she yelled at him, and he couldn't help but sigh in relief that she was still alive. There was still a chance he could fix this.

"You have to give me a chance to explain," he told her, hoping she would allow him to apologize.

"I'm not listening to anymore of your accusations!" she yelled, and he wondered if she would be more willing to speak on the ground.

"Then I won't ask you anything else, Astrid! I won't accuse you, I won't blame you! Can't we talk about this? I won't speak until you want me too. Let's just go back to the cove, and talk about this. Without yelling or screaming. Please, Astrid," he begged.

There was a long silence, but eventually he heard her climb up. He reached out his hand towards the sound, hoping she would accept his offer of friendship.

He tried very hard not to feel hurt when she pushed his hand away and chose to climb into the saddle by herself. He reminded himself that she needed space right now. Maybe they both needed a bit of space and time.

"Now get me down," Astrid said, and he heard her attaching the safety ropes on her side of the saddle. He hadn't imagined that her first flight would go like this.

"Toothless, down. Gently," he told the dragon, stressing the last word. He was very glad Astrid hadn't hit him yet, and he wanted to keep it that way.

Of course, it could never be that simple.

They both screamed when Toothless took off without warning, flying faster than Hiccup had ever flown before.

"Toothless! What's wrong with you?! Bad dragon!" he yelled, hoping Toothless could hear him over the sound of Astrid's terrified screams behind him. For a moment he hoped Toothless had heard him and was actually co-operating with him as they leveled out, but that hope was dashed when they tilted before falling straight down.

"Oh no," he muttered as Astrid started screaming again. Seconds later they hit the surface of the ocean, and they were drenched as Toothless dove in and out of the water. What was Toothless even trying to accomplish here? Was he trying to punish Astrid?

When they were completely covered in water the dragon flew up again. Toothless growled a quick "Lurgh!" and Hiccup moved the pedal to the 'left' position. He briefly considered defying Toothless' directions, but he didn't dare, since they might really be about to hit something, and at these speeds that could be fatal.

Toothless took advantage of the new fin position to spin them, and Hiccup was glad he couldn't see, since he was sure he would throw up.

Why had he chosen to trust this dragon again?

"And now the spinning. Thank you for nothing, you useless reptile," he said, giving up trying to convince the dragon to calm down.

As the spinning became faster, Astrid held onto him with a death grip, her hands gripping the cloth of his vest, and Hiccup tried not to blush when he realized how close they were.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Just get me off of this thing!" Astrid screamed, and he wondered what she was sorry for exactly, and if she was just saying that out of fear. But he wouldn't push her again. He would give her all the time she needed. Just like with forging metal, he couldn't do anything before she warmed up to him.

As he made that promise to himself, Toothless finally calmed down, and with a sudden jolt they flattened out again, before slowing into a gentle glide.

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"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Just get me off of this thing!" Astrid begged as she tried desperately not to throw up her lunch. She kept her eyes shut, not wanting to see the ground or water below them. Part of her wanted to punch Hiccup for putting her through this, but she decided not to do that. She shouldn't hit him again. That's what got her into this mess. Plus, she didn't think this crazy flight was his fault. She could hear him argue with Toothless, begging him to slow down, but the dragon didn't obey him.

Also, she didn't really dare to move her arms to hit him. She felt weak for it, but right now all she could do was hold onto him with all her might.

Then, without warning, there was a harsh jolt, and the spinning stopped. It took a few seconds before Astrid realized that they were slowing down. Her breathing slowed as she dared to think that it might be over. Fearfully, she opened her eyes, and gasped.

There were fluffy white clouds all around them, and Astrid forgot to breath. She tried to comprehend what she was seeing as she looked down and saw more clouds below them, and through tiny holes in the white shapes she saw the bluest ocean she had ever seen.

They flew higher and higher, until Astrid looked up and saw they were flying just underneath another cloud. She ducked, afraid of hitting her head, before removing one of her hands from Hiccup's waist. She raised her hand to feel the cloud, and she smiled when she realized it wasn't solid. The cloud seemed almost magical as she moved her hand to feel more. It parted like smoke, but she was surprised to feel water in the air.

She couldn't stop smiling as she removed her other hand and moved as close to the cloud as she could, leaning back when they reached the end of it. She couldn't believe that just a few minutes ago she had been deadly afraid of flying, but now it seemed like the most incredible thing she had ever done.

They flew straight through another cloud, and suddenly the setting sun shone at her from the side. She looked down, and saw that the clouds themselves were casting shadows, and the sky was a brilliant mix of colors. To her left, near the setting sun, the sky was a light yellow-white, and to her right it was a brighter blue than she had ever seen. And she could see every shade in between in front of her.

They flew on, sometimes turning, sometimes going lower or higher, yet Astrid never got bored. There was always something new to see. A strangely shaped cloud, a hint of the ocean below, a color she had never seen before. Everywhere she looked she saw incredible things.

Then the sun set, and the sky became dark. But that only meant new things were shown. The clouds became a strange blueish white color, and the stars were brighter and clearer than she had ever seen them.

Suddenly the sky lit up with green light, and she gasped when she realized it was Aurvandil's Fire. She waited for the fear response she always got when she saw the green streams in the air since Uncle Finn had been killed by the Flightmare, but it never came. She didn't feel any fear or anger at the light. Instead she couldn't help but think it was something she would never have associated with it before.

She couldn't call it anything other than beautiful.

Astrid had never cared for pretty things. She scoffed at jewelery and bright fabrics, preferring practical clothes and strong weapons over long dresses and shining gold. But even the finest gems she had seen were nothing compared to the beauty of the sky. Aurvandil's Fire lit up the sky in amazing shades of green and purple, and all she wanted was to reach out and touch it.

They flew through another cloud, and Astrid gasped when she saw lights appear beneath them. Berk looked so different from the air. She recognized the fires on the watchtowers, the various houses and farms, the Great Hall in the mountain, but somehow the sight was completely new.

She looked at the boy in front of her. Without Hiccup she would never have seen all this. Without Hiccup she would still be afraid of Aurvandil's Fire. Without Hiccup she would still be stuck on the ground, ignorant of the beauty of the sky. She put her arms around him again to hug him. She didn't feel embarrassed about it anymore. She realized he made her feel safe. He made her feel wonder.

He made her see the beauty she never knew existed.

She put her head on his shoulder as she pulled him a little closer. She kept expecting him to say something, but he kept silent, apparently content to fly with her without speaking. As she leaned her head against his she felt the scratchy surface of his blindfold, and her smile fell. All the wonder and contentment disappeared when the realization hit her.

Hiccup would never see all of this. He couldn't see any of the brilliant colors, he couldn't see the lights of Berk shining in the darkness. He'd never see how beautiful Aurvandil's Fire really was.

And it was her fault. They both knew that. And he had still shown her all of this. He had let her interact with Toothless, he'd taught her about blacksmithing. He had let her fly.

Maybe she had been wrong. Maybe he did trust her. Maybe he had trusted her all along.

Maybe she should trust him, for once. Because if he didn't get to see all this beauty, at least he should understand why. He deserved her honesty.

Maybe that was what friendship was all about.

"It's beautiful, Hiccup," she said as she embraced him again. She wouldn't run away this time.

"This is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen, and I'm so, so sorry you don't get to see it," she told him, trying to be as honest as she could.

"I don't know why I hurt you. There was a single moment of anger, and I snapped. And the next moment, it was done. You were there, screaming and clawing at your burned face. And I felt horrified. Please believe me, Hiccup. I've never felt as terrible as I did then, when I realized what I had done," she said, hoping he understood.

There was a long silence, in which Toothless flew away from Berk again, once again disappearing into the clouds.

"But then why did you make that deal with Gobber?" Hiccup suddenly asked, and she sighed.

"I don't know. I was terrified. Gobber told me I could be exiled, or executed, and that I should help you to look good for the chief. He said I owed you a life debt. I didn't know what else to do, so I said yes. I didn't understand what any of that would mean. But then, when I saw you that night, when you couldn't find the outhouse it all changed. That was when I realized that helping you might be a good thing. An honorable thing."

"And the next day we fixed my axe, and it was so… nice. It was more fun than anything I had done in years. And by then I had completely forgotten about the deal. I didn't care about that anymore, Hiccup. From then on I helped you because I wanted to. Because you made me feel good. Because somewhere along the way, it became more important than training," she finished, anxious of his response.

"I… I think I understand that. I helped Toothless out of guilt first as well. I had broken his tail fin, and I guess I owed him a life debt, in a way. But at some point it became more than just helping him. It became… friendship, I guess. And there are no debts in friendship," Hiccup said, and she wondered if he thought Hiccup and her were friends too.

"Exactly! I didn't think of helping you as a chore anymore! It was just… doing things for each other. I guide you through the village, and you help me with cooking. I help you forge things, and you give me tips for dragon training. But we're not… keeping track. We don't owe each other anything, Hiccup. Except maybe the truth," Astrid said, hoping he understood her confused monologue.

He chuckled. "So I owe a life debt to Toothless, and you owe a life debt to me. But you helped me forge the tail fin for Toothless, and you helped me," he said as he turned towards her, his body twisted as he tried to face her.

"How about we consider all debts paid? Can we start over, with no more guilt or debt between us?" he said as he moved a hand to hang in the air between them.

"Yes!" she exclaimed as she grabbed his hand and shook it. And then she moved down and petted Toothless as well. "I'm sorry, Toothless. And I'm so grateful that you showed me this. It's amazing. You're amazing. Can you forgive me?

She smiled when Toothless turned his head towards her to give her a toothless grin and a happy warble.

"Astrid? Can I ask one more thing?" Hiccup asked nervously, and she looked up. He was facing forward again, his head turned away.

"Of course," she said. If there was anything still between them, she wanted to clear it up now.

"Why… Why do you still hit me? Do you still want to hurt me?" he asked, and she hesitated for a moment, before deciding to charge in.

"I don't want to hurt you, Hiccup. Really, I don't! I… I don't intend for those punches to hurt you. It's… You make me feel so weird and full, and the only way I know how to deal with all that confusion is hitting things. But… But I don't want to do that anymore. I don't want to hit things for no reason anymore. I don't want to hurt you for no reason anymore," she said, hoping it made sense to Hiccup.

"I guess I do the same with my sarcasm. It drives dad crazy sometimes. But it's what I do. When I get mad, I get sarcastic. It's… It's how I deal with anger, I guess. And you do the same thing with your little punches," Hiccup said, and she smiled when she realized he understood. He understood it better than she did.

"But… Can you promise to leave it at little punches? No more dragon fire? No breaking bones? Not getting dragons to attack me?" he asked her, and she couldn't help but laugh. She could do that.

"Deal," she said, before moving her arm very gently to his arm, in the softest punch she could do.

"That's for kidnapping me," she said. She looked up at his head, and she somehow felt closer to him than ever before. It felt like she had dropped a weight she didn't even know she was carrying, and she felt light and happy as they flew under the stars.

She grabbed his head and turned it to the side. And before she could stop herself she leaned forward and kissed him on his cheek.

"And that's for everything else," she said before embracing him again.


	19. Not Alone

Hiccup did his best not to freak out when he realized Astrid's lips had just touched his cheek. Her hands released his head, and he couldn't stop a smile from appearing on his face. Had that really just happened?! Had Astrid really kissed his cheek? And now she was holding him! What did that mean? Did that mean she liked him? _Like_ liked him? What was he supposed to do now? Should he say something? Kiss her back?

Oddly enough the idea that she just kissed him didn't disturb him at all. It had been different yesterday, when she had hugged him. He had found it impossible to feel any warmth in that hug. He had been to busy questioning her motives and wondering if she was sincere, to enjoy the hug.

That doubt was gone now, and the kiss made him feel warm all over. There were no more debts between them, and somehow that meant so much more that had been hanging between them had disappeared as well. He still wondered why she would possibly want to kiss a fish-bone like him, but he couldn't believe it was part of some scheme or deal anymore. He knew she wasn't going to hurt him. Somehow here, hundreds of feet up in the air, they could be completely honest with each other at last. It still felt crazy, and Hiccup could barely believe it had happened, but he couldn't deny the fact that she was still holding him.

Their bond had been reforged. Hiccup wondered for a moment if it had been a good thing it had been broken by their argument earlier, since it had allowed them to remake it into a stronger, more honest friendship.

And for the first time, Hiccup had a bit of real hope it might become even more than friendship.

He must have been smiling dumbly for a while, because Astrid spoke again.

"What are you thinking about?" she asked in a soft voice, and he suddenly wondered if she was as uncertain about what the kiss meant as he was.

"I'm thinking about… how happy I am… that we talked about all this," he said, trying to be as honest with her as she had been with him.

"Me too. It's great that we're still okay," she said, and her words made him feel… warm, somehow. The sincerity he heard in her voice gave him a surge of happiness, and he felt like he could trust her. It had been years since he had trusted another human being. Toothless and him trusted each other, they had to in order to fly. But it was different with Astrid. He knew Toothless wouldn't hurt him, ever. It had been that way since he sought out the dragon in the cove. But with Astrid, their history had been filled with hurt and pain. But he knew that was in the past now. They could move on now, fully trusting each other.

"Astrid…" he started, trying to find the courage to ask a question he had wanted to ask for a while now.

"What color is my blindfold?" he finally asked. He wondered if she thought it was a stupid question. To him it sounded stupid. Why should it matter to him what color it was? It wasn't like he could experience color anymore. But he still wanted to know. And if there was someone he trusted not to laugh in his face about it it was Astrid.

There was a short silence, in which Astrid apparently pondered the question. Was she wondering why he had asked? Could she not see what color it was? He wasn't sure how dark it was, but he was fairly sure the sun had set a while ago. But she'd still know, right? She sees it all the time.

Just when he was about to explain why he asked, Astrid answered. "It's red, Hiccup. It's not… bright red, but more a brownish red, like… tree leafs in autumn, I guess," she said, and he smiled. Red. He wasn't sure what color he had expected, but red was good.

"At least it isn't bright pink, right?" he said, and Astrid laughed. Yet the laughter sounded hollow.

"Is something wrong?" he hesitantly asked, wondering if it was something he said.

"No, it's just… I'm sorry you need the blindfold. I-I wish there was some way to fix it, like you fixed Toothless' fin. But… But there isn't," she said, and his smile fell. He had no idea what to say to that. He wanted to reassure her, tell her it was okay, but he didn't know how. His thoughts were interrupted by a weird scraping sound. A moment later Astrid grabbed his hand and laid it on something cold and heavy.

Astrid's axe.

"Hiccup? Do you feel the ridge there? In the metal? That's where we welded the new axe blade to the old one. After… after my axe hurt you. After I hurt you. And I want to promise you now that I won't hurt you ever again. And this axe won't hurt you ever again either. I promise on my honor, Hiccup," she said, and she placed her hand over his as he traced the line in the metal.

"You… I… Thanks Astrid. I… I don't know what to say," he stuttered, feeling more confused than ever. Did she expect a promise back? What could he even promise her? Promising that he wouldn't hurt her seemed… useless, since he was sure he was incapable of that anyway. And what else could he offer her? Maybe he could promise her he'd always sharpen her weapons free of charge? Would Gobber be okay with that?

"I mean it, Hiccup. I don't want to hurt you again," she said, interrupting his frantic thoughts. "I don't want to hurt anyone innocent again," she added in a soft voice, and Hiccup wasn't sure if she had wanted him to hear that.

"It's okay, Astrid," he said before he realized it wasn't okay. His face fell when he remembered the outcome of the trial. She might have to hurt a dragon.

Apparently Astrid had the same thought.

"Hiccup, my final exam is tomorrow. You know I'm going have to… _kill a dragon_ ," she told him, whispering the last part in his ear.

"Don't remind me. I know. But maybe we can…" before he could finish his sentence he was interrupted by a loud growl from Toothless, and a moment later they started to descend sharply.

"Toothless? What's happening?" he asked, worried that they had disturbed him with their talk of killing dragons.

He didn't get an answer, and Hiccup became more worried as the Night Fury started to fly faster and faster. He didn't like this at all. His black room, which had been so calm and safe moments ago had transformed into a disturbing and frightening place.

"Bud, what is it?" he asked again, and he heard a dragon's growl. But it wasn't Toothless' familiar growl. It was another dragon, right next to them.

"Get down," Astrid said as she pushed him down on Toothless' neck. He wasn't sure, but he thought he could hear more wings flapping in the air, and soon more growls and roars echoed through the darkness.

"Astrid, what's going on?" he whispered, dread rising as he wondered if one of those dragons might be looking at them and seeing a nice snack.

"There are dragons all around us. We're… We're flying with them. They're all carrying things," she whispered in his ear, and he wondered if they crossed a raiding party.

"Toothless! You gotta get us out of here, bud!" he told the dragon, but Toothless ignored him. That scared him more than the dragons around them.

"They're… I think they're carrying livestock and animals, Hiccup," Astrid said, confirming his hypothesis.

"I think they're hauling in their kill," he said, wondering if they were going to the dragon's nest.

"Uhm, what does that make us?" Astrid asked, and he could hear the fear in her voice. He wanted to reassure her, tell her Toothless wouldn't let them get eaten, but before he could another loud dragon roar rang out, and they flew down again.

Toothless softly growled commands, and Hiccup had to strain to hear them over the sound of flapping wings around them. Down, up, left, right, left, on and on it went. They were clearly flying through an area filled with obstacles. Hiccup heard splashing below him, and he could smell fish in the air, making him think they were flying just above the ocean.

Suddenly they rose a bit again, and the sounds changed. They became louder, and Hiccup could hear an echo. The temperature rose quickly, until he was sweating, and he supposed they were entering some kind of cave. He wanted to ask Astrid, but he didn't dare with the other dragons so close.

It became harder to breath, and Hiccup fought the urge to cough as he inhaled smoke.

"Hiccup… I think we're in the dragon's nest. It's… huge," Astrid whispered, and he almost laughed at the irony that he, Hiccup the Useless, managed to do what dozens of expeditions manned by the strongest Vikings hadn't been able to.

"What my dad wouldn't give to find this," he muttered.

"Hiccup, this doesn't make sense. They're… There's like a big hole in the floor, covered in fog. But… the dragons are just throwing the food down the hole. They're not eating any of it," Astrid said as Toothless landed on a rocky surface. At least Toothless wasn't dumping them in a hole.

The cave became quieter again as most of the dragons seemed to have deposited their food and had now landed all around them. Hiccup could faintly hear the buzzing of a Gronkle echo through the nest, but a moment later the silence was broken by a growl. The loudest growl he had ever heard. A moment later he could hear Astrid take in a sharp breath, and there was a weird chomping sound.

"What… is that?" he heard Astrid mutter, and he felt a feeling of dread. This was bad, he just knew it.

"Toothless, we gotta get out of here, bud," he said, hoping the dragon would listen to him this time.

"Now!" he shouted when the… unknown thing… roared again, and thankfully Toothless jumped away, leaving the monster to bite where they had been moments ago.

Where the cave had been almost silent seconds ago, his ears were now bombarded with dragon roars, and it seemed like all the dragons were trying to squeeze through the exit, away from… whatever was behind them.

There was another biting sound behind them, and Hiccup swore he could hear something being crushed. Something… living. It sounded like Toothless eating a fish, but this was bigger… way bigger. Astrid screamed, and Toothless flew even faster.

His breathing sped up as the air became cleaner, and the growls of the… thing became quieter. Less than a minute later they were hit by cold air, and he knew they were safe. Toothless wasted no time in guiding him through the maze again, and he tried to focus on moving the pedal instead of… whatever that thing was.

Only when they left the maze and flew up again did Astrid move, and Hiccup suddenly realized she had been holding his vest like her life depended on it.

Maybe it had.

"Astrid…" he started to ask. He had to know.

"What was that? What happened?" he finally asked.

There was a short silence in which Astrid's breath calmed down. "There was a dragon. A huge dragon. Like… it was bigger than anything I've ever seen before! Just its head was bigger than a house! It ate that Gronkle without even chewing. And then it chased us, it tried to eat us. But there was a Zippleback in the way, and it just ate it. Just… Just like that. In one bite," she said, her voice still quivering.

Hiccup tried to take it all in, but it was crazy. A dragon bigger than a house? Was that the reason the dragons took so much food?

Astrid still had her arms around him, her hold was even tighter than it was earlier when she kissed him. But there was no warmth now. His dark world had become a cold, dangerous place with a massive dragon in there with them.

Hiccup could feel that Astrid was still shaking slightly, and for a moment he was happy he hadn't been able to see the monster that had frightened even Astrid Hofferson.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"No, it totally makes sense. It's like a giant beehive! They're the workers, and that's their queen! It controls them," Astrid said as Toothless landed in the cove again. Her hands had finally stopped shaking after seeing the horrible dragon queen, and Hiccup and her had been discussing what it meant.

They'd finally reached the conclusion that the large dragon must be controlling other dragons, based on how it had drawn Toothless to the nest, and got the other dragons to feed it.

It was a strange idea that the dragons they had been fighting for generations might not want to raid them. Maybe this war was all because of one greedy beast, who was too lazy to go out and hunt for itself. In a way Astrid was glad it didn't hunt, because she didn't think they'd be able to fight it. But the village still had to know. They had to know what this war was really about.

"Let's find your dad!" she told Hiccup as she dismounted Toothless, running to the exit of the cove.

"No! Wait Astrid, not yet!" Hiccup said, and she turned around to see him running after her. She stopped, wondering what had gotten into him. Why should they wait?

"Hiccup. We just discovered the dragon's nest. The thing we've been after since Vikings first sailed here. Think of what it will mean if we tell them. Think of what it will mean for me! Maybe if I tell them, I'll be forgiven for hurting you, and I won't have to fight tomorrow. They already think I'm some messenger of Thor, so they'll believe me!" she told the boy in front of her, hoping this monster was her way out of the dilemma they found themselves in.

"But Astrid, if we tell them, they'll kill Toothless!" he said, and she could hear the desperation in his voice. He was terrified of that prospect. But was Toothless really more important than her honor and innocence? Than ending the war?

"Hiccup! You want to keep this a secret?! To protect your pet dragon, are you serious?!" she asked, angry that he was willing to put Toothless before her.

He turned around, and Astrid expected to see fear, or uncertainty in his face. But she only saw resolve and strength. "Yes," he simply said, and she was surprised by the… power in his voice. He didn't doubt his decision for a second.

Toothless was that important to him. And could she really blame him for that? Toothless had always been there for him. Toothless didn't hurt him, hadn't maimed him. The dragon had been the best friend he ever had.

He had certainly been a better friend than she had been.

Astrid felt disgusted with herself for asking him to turn Toothless in, for calling the dragon a pet. He was more than a pet. She saw that now.

"Okay. Then what do we do?" she asked, as the prospect of fighting a Monstrous Nightmare filled her mind again.

"I… I don't know. I have a few ideas, but I'm not sure if you'd like them," Hiccup said, and she sat down on the ground, wondering what he had thought of.

"Like what?" she asked.

"Well, one of my ideas was… leave. Fly away on Toothless, and get away from Berk," he said as he sat down as well, and she was starting to understand why he thought she wouldn't like it.

"I don't know about that, Hiccup. It seems so… extreme. And don't we have a duty to Berk? It's our home, our clans live there, to abandon it would be… dishonorable," she said, thinking about her father's long lectures on duty and loyalty.

"Maybe you feel that way, but I'm not sure if Berk is my home. They don't seem to feel that their duty is to protect or help me! I feel more at home here, with Toothless, than in my own house, Astrid," he slowly said, and for a moment she didn't know what to say. She knew he was right. The village hadn't treated him as one of their own. But still… Leaving? Would that really solve anything?

"But where would we go? I doubt any of the other tribes would accept dragon riding deserters. So would we live in the wild for the rest of our lives? And wouldn't they come after us? You're still the heir," she pleaded, unsure of this crazy plan.

"Why would they chase us? They'd want you back, of course, but me? They'd be happy to be rid of me. So maybe I should go alone with Toothless, and you can tell them about the dragon's nest. That would solve every problem, wouldn't it?" he said in a loud voice, and she felt angry that he thought that way.

"Do you think Gobber wants you gone? That Stoick wants you gone? Mulch? Fishlegs? Do you really think I would let you go out there alone?! A blind boy in the wild, by himself? You wouldn't last a month! I just promised you I wouldn't hurt you anymore. I thought we were friends now, Hiccup! And friends don't abandon each other. Accept it, Hiccup. You're stuck with me," she said as she moved closer to him and grabbed his hand.

He remained silent for a long time as his head faced the ground, and Toothless eventually walked up and prodded him, warbling in concern.

"You… You mean that?" he eventually said in a thick voice, and she resisted the urge to punch him because he doubted her.

"Of course I do. That's what I promised, didn't I?" she said, hoping to break down this wall he was building around himself. She wouldn't let them drift apart again.

"But… I'm just… Hiccup. Why… why would you want to be friends with me?" he said softly, and his voice sounded like he was about to cry. She put her arm around him and pulled him closer to her. On his other side, Toothless put his head under Hiccup's other arm and warbled sadly.

"Hiccup, I want to be your friend. Not out of guilt, or duty, or because of some promise. I want to because I like to be around you. And I don't want you to think otherwise ever again," she said.

She didn't expect his response. He produced a loud sob before pulling her against him in a tight hug. His blindfold scratched her face, but she didn't care. Hiccup was in pain, and she wasn't going to abandon him. So she put her arms around him, trying to tell him without words that she would never let him go. A moment later Toothless put his wings around them as well, covering them in darkness. She wondered how long it had been since he had a real hug. Not one she gave out of guilt, but a real one, filled with comfort and love.

She wondered how long it had been since she had one, as well.

She wasn't sure how long they sat there, Hiccup softly crying on her shoulder, but she didn't mind it for one second. She knew he needed this, and she couldn't deny it made her feel good as well. Eventually she moved her mouth to his ear.

"Hiccup, what you're searching for isn't out there in the wild. It's in here, in the cove. Toothless is here, and I'm here. And we're not going to abandon you. It's us, together, okay? Me, you, Toothless, we're a team. Us against that monster dragon. Us against anyone in the village that might hurt you. And I'm not going to let you go out there alone," she whispered in his ear, and he sobbed before muttering a stream of thank you's.

Astrid suddenly noticed how weak he must look right now, crying and holding her like his life depended on it. But she couldn't think of him as weak anymore. He was stronger than she had ever expected. And as she felt a tear rolling down her own cheek she knew that maybe she was a little weaker than she had thought before. But maybe that's okay. Because she was sure that together they could defeat anything. And she hoped he knew that too.

Eventually his sobbing stopped and he slowly released her. They separated, and she noticed Hiccup wiping his nose before rubbing his hand on the grass. Suddenly there was more light as Toothless folded his wings back around himself, and she could see the hint of a smile on Hiccup's face.

"So… I guess leaving Berk is out of the question then?" he eventually said in a shaky voice, and she couldn't help but laugh. She could see a hint of the cheerful sarcastic Hiccup again.

"No, we're not leaving. We're going to show those stupid Vikings how awesome we are," she told him, and he laughed as well.

"Show them how awesome we are, huh? How are we going to do that?" he asked, still grinning.

"By… By beating that dragon awesomely?" she said, but it didn't feel awesome. She didn't want to hurt the Nightmare. Hiccup seemed to think the same way, as his smile disappeared.

"I suppose you'll have to, the village expects you to, since it's the Ordeal of Fire and all that, unless..." he said, before growing silent, and Astrid recognized the look on his face. She had seen it several times in the forge, when he got an idea on how to smith better. She remained silent, knowing he needed to think, but she was anxious to hear his plan.

"Yeah… that might work. They expect a message from the gods, right? And you're already Thor's chosen warrior or something, so that would make it more powerful. So I say, let's show them something truly awesome! Let's show them a message they can't ignore! Tomorrow, in the arena!" he said enthusiastically, but Astrid was very confused.

"What, you mean kill it?" she asked, frowning.

"No Astrid, you're not going to kill it," Hiccup said with a smile on his face.

"You're going to train it."


	20. Broken Promises

_"Why did I ever agree to this?"_ Astrid asked herself for the dozenth time as Hiccup explained how he had bonded with Toothless again. She didn't like the fact that that had taken hours, and they had been alone. Now she had to do it in minutes, while angry Vikings would be shouting around them.

She could already hear them now, talking above them, as Hiccup and her stood in the entrance tunnel to the arena, hidden from their prying eyes. They would probably laugh if they knew she was getting advice from Hiccup, but she didn't care about that. If she managed to train the Nightmare, there would probably be very little laughter anyway.

"So just remember: Stay calm, don't make any sudden moves, and just be friendly. If you're his friend, he'll be your friend," Hiccup told her, and she rolled her eyes. Easy for him to say, he didn't have to go out there and actually do it. But she wouldn't say that out loud. Hiccup didn't deserve that, he was just trying to help her. Plus, she could see that for all his cheery advice, he was nervous as well. He kept scratching at his blindfold, something she noticed he did a lot when he was agitated.

"Okay! I get it, be nice. Are you sure this will work? It is a very big dragon after all," Astrid asked, wincing when she remembered that the Monstrous Nightmare was nothing compared to the Dragon Queen she saw yesterday. At least she didn't have to face that thing.

"Honestly, it's not the dragon I'm worried about," Hiccup told her with a sigh, and he moved his head to face the ceiling. She knew that just above that ceiling were the Vikings, listening to Stoick speak, though she couldn't hear his words in the tunnel.

She didn't really know what to say to that. She agreed, but she didn't want to make Hiccup worry even more.

"But we have to put a stop to this. We have to try," Hiccup suddenly said, and again she marveled at the resolve in his voice. It was the same tone as when he defended Toothless yesterday. He knew it was right, and he wouldn't hesitate to say it.

"I will, Hiccup. Remember what I said: We're going to show them just how awesome we are," she told him as she put her hands on his shoulders. "And we're going to show them how awesome dragons are as well," she whispered to him after quickly looking around to check if no one could hear her.

He briefly smiled, but it didn't seem genuine. "I'm sure you will, Astrid. But… if something… goes wrong, or if you have to kill the Nightmare and I get shipped off or something, just make sure they don't find Toothless," he said, and she could hear the fear in his voice. Fear for his friend.

She pulled him into her arms, hugging him lightly, before whispering in his ear. "Of course. Me, you, Toothless, we're a team, remember? I won't abandon him, just like I won't abandon you," she told him, and his only response was to hold her a little tighter.

"And… And I won't ever abandon you either," he eventually said softly, and she smiled. They'd make a pretty good team, and she wished she could take him with her into the ring. But she couldn't. She could only rely on his advice.

"Just… Promise me this will work, okay? Promise me it won't go wrong," she asked as she moved back out of the hug to face him again, holding his hands in hers.

"I promise," he softly said.

A moment later Gobber walked around the corner. How long had he been standing there? What had he heard?

"It's time, Astrid. Knock 'em dead," he said, and she reluctantly let go of Hiccup's hands, suddenly unsure of what to say to him. So she simply said nothing as she turned around and walked into the arena. She looked behind her quickly as she walked, and she saw a glimpse of Hiccup still standing where she left him, Gobber walking past him towards the spectator's ring. After Gobber passed him, he quickly gave her a thumbs-up, and she smiled. Maybe she wouldn't be entirely alone.

But then the gate was lowered between them, and she faced forward again as she walked towards the center of the ring. She looked around at the vast crowd on the spectator's ring. Pretty much every Viking on Berk must be here to watch her.

Her eyes almost immediately fell on her parents, looking worried, though she noticed her mother forced a smile when she saw her looking. Astrid wondered what they were thinking of all this. They had already been asleep when she returned from the cove, and she had sneaked in through the window. But this morning when they woke her, father had been angry. He had asked her where she had been, and when she had replied she had been with Hiccup, he asked her if anything 'inappropriate' had happened.

She had denied it of course, blushing at the thought. She knew what her father meant, though she couldn't help but think he would probably think flying on dragons was 'inappropriate' as well.

At least her father hadn't punished her. He had simply dropped the matter and given her dragon fighting advice. She had paid attention, even though she knew she wouldn't use his tips on the weak spots of Nightmares.

"Astrid Hofferson! You are here today to be judged by the gods in a Jernbyrd. You will face the Monstrous Nightmare, and the gods will only give you the strength to defeat it if you deserve a place on Berk. If not, then you shall be consumed by the flames, like my son was burned by dragon fire. Do you understand?" Stoick's loud voice rang through the arena, and she could hear the accusation in the announcement.

"I understand," she said, and she walked towards the weapon rack. She already had her trusty axe with her, but she grabbed a small shield from the rack and unsheathed her axe. She knew the crowd was judging her every move, waiting for her to give the signal to begin the fight.

She raised her axe, the sun reflecting of the white line in the metal, and it suddenly hit her how crazy all of this was. She was about to face a Monstrous Nightmare, and she was going to befriend it. If someone had told her that a few weeks ago she would have hit him. But now… Now the idea of killing the dragon seemed as repulsive as the idea of befriending them was then.

It still felt crazy. On the axe the old and the new parts were separated clearly. But in her own life, it was all starting to blur together. For the last week she considered those two lives separate. Her life as Astrid the Warrior, star of dragon training, was entirely different from the life of Astrid the Dragon Friend, assistant of Hiccup the Useless. In the ring she would fight dragons, and in the cove she would play with Toothless.

But slowly, without her noticing, those lives had started to seep into each other. She would take the tricks she learned from Hiccup to the arena, and she would tell the stories of dragon training to Hiccup later. And now, now she had faced the largest dragon in the world while flying with Toothless, and she was about to befriend a dragon in the kill ring.

But no matter how crazy it might seem, she knew Hiccup was right. They had to stop this. They had to try.

"I'm ready," she said, glad her voice remained steady, and she watched the bar locking the gate slowly rise.

A moment later the cage burst open and the dragon jumped out, covered in flames. The insides of the doors were glowing like the metal in the forge, and she involuntarily took a step back before forcing herself to stand her ground.

The Nightmare shot a blast of fire into the crowd, who gasped as they jumped aside. Astrid could hear them talking, discussing what she would do, and what the dragon would do, but she didn't listen. She just stared at the dragon as it crawled along the chains above before spotting her. She took a deep breath when the Monstrous Nightmare narrowed its eyes and approached her slowly.

It didn't attack yet, it just got closer, and she slowly stepped back, giving it space. A small part of her mind was screaming that this was all madness, but she refused to think like that. The dragon war was madness. So she dropped her shield, hoping the dragon would take it as a gesture of trust.

Around her the crowd gasped as the dragon made a strange growling sound, and she could hear them talk.

"She's gone mad!"

"It's sorcery!"

"She's no messenger of Thor! This is Loki's work!"

But she ignored the voices as the Nightmare's head moved a little closer and sniffed her hand. "It's okay, it's okay," she whispered to the dragon. It seemed surprised, and she glanced at the line in her axe for a moment. Never drop your weapon, her father always said. Never appear weak before an enemy. But this was no enemy. And Hiccup knew better than her father.

So she slowly lowered her axe and put it on the ground, before extending her arm towards the dragon.

"I'm not like them. I'm not going to hurt you," she said in a clear voice, and the crowd seemed stunned into silence. Then she heard the chief speak.

"Stop the fight," he said, and for a moment her hand shook before she steadied it again, keeping her eyes on the dragon's.

"No! I need you all to see this. This is what the gods want to show you today! They're not what we think they are. We don't have to kill them!" she said, and the dragon's head came a little closer, until it was only a few inches from her hand. She refused to listen to the whispers of the Vikings, and focused only on the dragon in front of her. It was so close. It was about to touch her hand! It was working!

"I said, stop the fight!" Stoick's voice echoed through the arena, and it was followed a moment later by the loudest bang she had ever heard. The Nightmare's eyes narrowed, and she only barely managed to pull her hand away before it was bitten off by the enraged dragon.

Astrid didn't have time to think as she jumped away, just in time to dodge a blast of fire. The crowd screamed, and she recognized one voice in particular. Hiccup screamed her name, but she didn't have time to look at him. She ran circles around the arena, dodging blasts of fire with quick jumps, stopping only to grab another shield from the weapons rack which was promptly crushed by the Nightmare's claws.

"Astrid, get out!" Hiccup screamed, and she quickly looked over her shoulder as she blocked a strike from the Nightmare with her shield. Her heart skipped a beat when she saw he was inside the arena, the gate propped open with an axe used as a lever. She didn't have time to think about how he managed that, as the Nightmare attacked her again, and she only managed to block just in time.

"This way!" Stoick suddenly said, and she glanced around to see the gate was open, Stoick standing in the tunnel. She ran towards it, and when she was nearly there, she looked around for Hiccup. He was actually running towards the dragon, and she wasn't sure if he was very brave or very foolish. She tried to turn around to chase him, but a strong arm grabbed her shoulder and dragged her into the tunnel.

"Restrain her!" Stoick shouted towards some other Viking in the tunnel, and another pair of hands grabbed her arms. She tried to get loose, tried to chase after Hiccup, but the Viking behind her was too strong. A moment later Astrid saw the Nightmare shoot a blast of fire at Hiccup. It only narrowly missed him, hitting the gate instead, which fell with a loud clank.

Hiccup was stuck inside the ring. Alone, with a furious dragon.

She struggled harder, stamping on the toes of the Viking that held her, but he didn't budge.

She looked up again, and she froze when she saw Hiccup fall over before being pinned down by the Nightmare. Hiccup didn't seem to be struggling, instead he seemed to be talking to the dragon. Was he trying to calm it? It was useless though, because she saw the Nightmare prepare another blast of fire.

"No!" she screamed, but her voice was drowned out by another sound. A high pitched scream that made her want to duck and hide.

"Night Fury! Get down!"

A moment later Toothless blew the roof of the arena apart, and the ring was filled with smoke. The sound was overwhelming, as dragons and Vikings both started to scream and shout. She tried to get loose again, stomping on the boots behind her even harder, but it was no use.

The smoke cleared, and she could see Toothless between the Nightmare and Hiccup, who was trying to get up. Toothless snapped at the dragon, and the crowd gasped as he drove the Nightmare back into its cage. Someone dropped the gates of the Nightmare cage, and Astrid sighed in relief now that she knew Hiccup was safe.

Hiccup didn't seem to worry about himself though, he stumbled towards the Night Fury and talked to him, pushing him away. Suddenly a war cry rang out, and Spitelout jumped over the side of the spectator's ring, followed by other Vikings.

"Go Toothless! Go!" Hiccup shouted to the dragon, who only growled at the Vikings around him.

"Stoick, no!" Astrid screamed when she saw the chief grab an axe from the wall and run into the arena. Somehow, with a power she didn't know she possessed, she managed to pull the Viking holding her forward a bit. It wasn't enough to get free, but it made him stumble. Astrid saw her chance, and she kicked back as hard as she could between the now spread legs of the man. He yelped and released her, and she ran forward, hoping to stop the chief.

"Dad! He won't hurt you!" Hiccup shouted as Toothless escaped from his grasp, making him stumble and fall.

Toothless was now kicking Vikings away, ignoring Hiccup's protests, and Astrid's heart skipped a beat when the dragon managed to pin down the massive chief like he was a toy.

"Toothless, stop!" Hiccup shouted, blindly feeling around, probably unable to locate the dragon in the cacophony of sound.

Astrid ran as hard as she could when she could see Toothless prepare to shoot Stoick.

"NO!" Hiccup and her shouted at the same time, and somehow it worked. The dragon released his breath, before turning to face Hiccup with sad eyes. For a few seconds there was utter silence, and Astrid dared to hope that the villagers might see now, see that dragons were not evil creatures, since Toothless had just chosen not to kill Stoick.

"Get him!" Stoick shouted as he punched Toothless, and the silence was broken. The Vikings charged in, overcoming Toothless easily now that the dragon didn't fight back anymore.

"No! Don't hurt him!" Hiccup shouted as he ran towards the dragon, and she intercepted him. She grabbed his waist and restrained him, preventing him from attacking the Vikings. She wanted nothing more than to fight off the Vikings attacking Toothless, but she knew it was hopeless. And she couldn't let Hiccup try it either. She had screwed this up enough. She couldn't let him pay the price for this.

He tried to fight her, still begging them not to hurt Toothless, but then the dragon became silent as the Vikings put a muzzle on him. The moment Hiccup couldn't hear Toothless' moans anymore he screamed and tried to claw his way out. She only held him tighter.

"He's okay, Hiccup! He's not dead! He's just muzzled!" she tried to tell him, but she wasn't sure if he listened to her. His voice became softer and softer as he kept begging them not to hurt the dragon.

She looked away from the crying boy for a moment, and saw Stoick glare at her, an axe in his hand. Then she saw he wasn't glaring at her.

He was glaring at Hiccup. He was glaring at the crying boy in her arms, who was begging him to spare the best friend he had ever known, and Astrid knew that the chief couldn't understand how much Toothless meant to him.

He couldn't know because she had failed. She had failed to train the Nightmare, and she had failed to defend Toothless and Hiccup.

Stoick's glare moved from them to the dragon, and for a moment Astrid thought he was going to kill Toothless right then and there. She didn't think Hiccup could take hearing his best friend die, and she was already trying to think of a way to get him away from here before that happened.

"Put it with the others," Stoick said as he lowered his axe, and Astrid sighed in relief. Maybe they could get him out. Maybe they could sneak in later and open the gates.

But then the chief turned back to her, and she remembered there was no way she'd be allowed to go anywhere near the arena ever again.

"Restrain them. Bring her to the prison, and lock her up in the smallest cell. I'll deal with her later. Hiccup goes with me. I want to talk to him, alone," Stoick said, and she felt like she was dosed in ice water when she realized they were being separated.

Someone grabbed her from behind and pulled her away from Hiccup. She punched the man, but another two grabbed her, and she stopped struggling, afraid they might punish Hiccup if she resisted more. She let herself be dragged away, but she quickly looked around at Hiccup. The boy was still where he had fallen after she had let him go, and he seemed… empty. He didn't move at all, he just softly murmured Toothless' name.

It scared her more than the dragon had. Hiccup wasn't supposed to give up, he was supposed to keep fighting! He was supposed to be hugging Toothless, thanking him for the rescue. Toothless wasn't even supposed to be here. She was supposed to tame the Nightmare. If only she could have done it faster, if only Hiccup hadn't managed to get into the arena…

She was dragged through the exit of the arena, and she saw her parents standing there, shocked expressions on their faces. She wanted to feel shame for breaking her promises to them, but she only felt shame for breaking a different promise.

She had promised Hiccup that she wouldn't abandon him. That Toothless, him and her were a team, and that they would fight whoever might hurt them together. But now, they were separated, locked up in different cages, and it was all her fault.

Astrid had never felt as weak as she did in that moment, knowing she had failed her parents, her tribe, but above all, had failed her friend.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"I should have known. I should have seen the signs. How could I have been so blind?" Stoick muttered as he threw Hiccup into the Great Hall. He had been carried there like a sack of coal, and now he was just thrown down like he was some kind of unwanted object. Unable to see the ground coming he stumbled and fell.

He felt empty. Everything had gone wrong. Astrid was imprisoned, Toothless was captured, and he would probably be exiled. But he didn't care about himself anymore. He had to protect Toothless and Astrid. He'd take all the blame if necessary.

"Dad," he started, but he was interrupted.

"What did I tell you about that girl? Didn't we have a deal? Didn't she have a deal with Gobber?" his father asked, and he tried to get up, finding it hard to get a grip on the smooth stone floor.

"Yes she did, but that was before…" his thoughts were racing, desperately searching for a way to explain this. "Oh, it's all so messed up now," he said, trying to buy time.

"So everything she did in the ring was a trick? All that help she gave you, a lie?" Stoick accused, and Hiccup felt a surge of anger. That help was not a lie. But he couldn't let his anger overwhelm him.

"I screwed up. It's all my fault. I should have told you before. Take this out on me, be mad at me, but don't hurt Astrid or Toothless! I convinced her to do it," he begged, hoping that some of his words might reach his father's ears.

"The dragon and the girl? That's what you're worried about? Not the gods you've just insulted in a divine trial? Not the people you almost killed?" Stoick shouted, and he shrank back from the voice.

"No, Astrid was just trying to help, we were trying to stop the killing!" Hiccup said, unable to see how to get out of this mess.

"She maimed you, Hiccup! She was just trying to get out of her punishment, don't you see that?" his father shouted, and Hiccup resisted the urge to raise his fists as anger flared again.

"No dad, I don't see that. I don't see a lot of things. But I do see that Astrid is a good person! And I see that dragons are not dangerous. Toothless was just protecting me from that other dragon, and from you guys, he's not dangerous!" he pleaded, even though he knew it was futile.

"Not dangerous?! They killed hundreds of us!" Stoick shouted, and he was furious that his father was so blind.

"And we've killed thousands of them! They defend themselves, like us, like Astrid! They raid us because they have to! If they don't bring enough food back, they'll be eaten themselves!" Hiccup shouted, hoping that the truth of Dragon Island might convince him.

"There's something else on their island, dad! It's a dragon like…" his voice trailed off. He didn't know how to describe the beast. He hadn't seen it, didn't know what it looked like, didn't know how big it was. Before he could find words that described how horrible the dragon was, his father interrupted him.

"Their island? So you've been to the nest?" he asked, and Hiccup became wary at the eager tone in his voice. All the hostility was gone. He didn't know what to say, so he said the first thing that came to mind.

"Did I say nest? I never saw the nest!" he said, before his father grabbed his shoulders in an eager grip.

"How did you find it?" Stoick asked, and he was too overwhelmed to think about his answer.

"I didn't, Toothless did, only a dragon can find the island, they're drawn to it, and…" Hiccup shut up when he heard the sharp intake of breath and realized what his father was thinking.

No.

NO!

He couldn't let that happen. He couldn't let him lead the villagers to their doom.

"No, no, no, dad! No, please, it's not what you think! You don't know what you're up against, it's like nothing you've ever seen! It ate a Zippleback in one bite, it's massive!" he begged, but he knew his father wasn't listening when he pushed Hiccup away like he was a piece of furniture in his way.

"Dad, please, I promise you, you can't win this one!" he said as he scrambled to his feet.

"No, dad, no," he begged as he ran after the loud footsteps, hoping against hope that for once, he could convince his father.

"For once in your life, would you please just listen to me!" he shouted as he grabbed Stoick's arm, but he was merely thrown backwards and hit the stone floor hard. There was utter silence for a moment, but before Hiccup could start begging again his father spoke.

"You've thrown your lot in with them. With dragons and criminals. With the beings that hurt and maim us. I thought you couldn't disappoint me more, but it seems even a blind son can surprise me. Maybe Spitelout was right," Stoick said in a flat voice, and Hiccup was stunned into silence.

"You're not a Viking. You're not my son," Stoick the Vast slowly said before walking away from Hiccup. He tried to comprehend what just happened, but his thoughts were disturbed by the sound of his father's footsteps moving away from him.

"Ready the ships!" was the last thing he heard before the door was slammed shut, and it started to hit Hiccup that he was alone. He was just denounced by his father, he was cast out.

He laid down on the cold floor again, wondering where it had all gone wrong. Astrid was in prison, and would probably be exiled, if not executed. Toothless would be taken on the expedition, and slain when he was of no further use.

He could barely believe that just last night he had been so happy and warm. He had believed they could take on anything. Toothless, Astrid and him, they were a team. Them against the world. But now, now that was all broken. Now they were imprisoned, and it was all his fault. Why had he suggested that they train the Nightmare? How had he ever thought that could work? How could he have been so stupid? He had promised Astrid it would work. He had promised, because she had made her own promise to him, and he wanted to repay that.

But it had been a useless promise by a useless blind boy. Because he had been so eager to protect a dragon. And now he had destroyed Astrid's life. He had lead Toothless, and the village to their deaths. Because he couldn't shut up. Because he had broken his promise. Because he had failed them all.

He curled into a ball, wishing he could just disappear, wishing he could just turn back time and prevent all this from happening. Wishing he had never made that promise. But he couldn't do any of that. There was nothing he could do. So he softly cried, alone in the dark room.


	21. Open and Shut

This was a place Astrid had never expected to be in. She had always considered herself to be honorable and polite. She never caused trouble, she never stole things, and she never broke things.

The only thing she broke were her promises.

But here she was. In jail, held under guard like a feral beast. Stoick hadn't been kidding when he said they should put her in the smallest cell. It only contained a small wooden chair, and a bucket in the corner. She didn't want to think about when she would inevitably have to use the bucket. The door wasn't solid, it was just a row of iron bars, so the guard would be able to see her all the time.

She hoped he would at least have the decency to give her a few minutes of privacy when she had to go.

Above all, she hoped she wouldn't be in here long enough for that to become a problem. The chief would just talk to Hiccup, then he would come get her, right? She'd get punished, but at least she'd be out of here.

So she sat down in the uncomfortable chair, trying not to look at the man on the other side of the bars. He spend his time sharpening his sword, all the while looking at her with an expression she couldn't read, as his face was covered with a shaggy beard.

Time went on, and the chief still didn't come. Hiccup had to be done talking to him by now, right? She had no idea how much time passed, unable to see sunlight in the windowless building. Her only source of light was a torch burning above and behind the guard, covering his face in dark shadows.

She tried to study the walls of her little cell as stealthily as she could, trying to find a weak spot, but finding none. The prison was one of the few buildings in the village that were made of stone, and though she was no builder, Astrid could see it was well made. She couldn't see any gaps between the stones she could fit her fingers in, and she didn't have a knife or stick to use as a lever.

Besides, the guard would surely notice if she started pulling bricks out of the wall.

Maybe she could convince him to free her? But how? She didn't know the man, and she didn't know what he might want. He didn't look like a type to be convinced that dragons really weren't dangerous, and that she didn't deserve to be here.

She wished Hiccup was here. He'd use that crazy brain of his to find a way out of here, and then they just had to free Toothless. Then they could escape from Berk and go into the wild, like Hiccup suggested yesterday. She sighed when she thought about the conversation they had had. _We're going to show them how awesome we are_. It had sounded so easy then, like nothing could go wrong.

 _Us against the world_. She had promised Hiccup she would be there for him, but now she was stuck in here while his father was doing Odin-knows-what to him. What if he was exiled? What if he was already shipped off? If they were going to be exiled, wouldn't they at least be exiled together? Hiccup would know, he had actually studied laws. But she had no idea. All she knew was how to swing an axe, and now she was starting to figure out that wasn't as useful as she thought it was. There were just some things she couldn't defeat by hitting them.

Plus, she didn't even have her axe in here with her.

So her thoughts went on and on, trying to think of what was happening outside, but coming no closer to finding a solution. Maybe the chief was just going to leave her in here for a while to torture her. Being stuck in here, powerless to do anything was already pissing her off. But she was powerless to do anything about her anger either. There was nothing here to smash except the chair, and if she smashed that she'd have to sit on the dirty floor.

A while later she woke up from a loud noise, and she realized she must have fallen asleep. Her back ached from the uncomfortable position, and she stood up to stretch.

She heard voices in the hallway, and she noticed her guard was gone from his chair. Curious if this might be a chance to act, she pushed her face against the bars and tried to peer into the hallway. She saw the bearded man stand a few yards away, talking with someone she couldn't see very well. All she could see was that the person was too small to be Stoick, and he was standing in the shadow of the guard. She tried to hear what was being said, but she could only hear small snippets of conversation.

"… not sure… you… allowed to see her…" the guard said.

"I'm her… I have every right… I'm not going to free…" the other said, and Astrid thought she recognized the voice, but the voice was too low to hear properly.

"Then why… here?"

"Because I… answers. Answers only… give."

"What about Tolfdir?"

"He didn't want to… too angry."

After that there was a short silence, and Astrid tried to figure out who the mysterious visitor was. She was fairly sure she knew the voice, but it was hard to identify in the echoing environment. Then the guard stepped aside, and the torchlight finally fell on the other person.

It was her mother.

Astrid drew her head back from the bars and sat back down in the chair. Why was her mother here? Was she angry? Where was father?

Before she could think about it her mother sat down in the chair the guard sat on earlier, the torch above and behind her leaving her face in shadow.

Astrid sneaked a glance into the hallway, noticing the guard was now standing by the door at the end of the hallway, his hand on the pommel of his sword. He wasn't close enough to hear Astrid and Kirsten talk, but he could keep an eye on them.

"Astrid," her mother said, and she turned her eyes back to her face.

"Mother. Why are you here?" she asked, wondering if she had a message from Stoick.

"I wanted to see you, and talk to you," Kirsten said in a wary tone, almost like she was afraid.

"Where is father?" Astrid asked, hoping he hadn't denounced her.

"He… He didn't want to see you. He says he's angry and disappointed. But I think he's really just… very confused. I'm confused too, Astrid. I don't understand what happened in there, in the ring. Why did you do that?" Kirsten slowly said, and Astrid saw various emotions fight on her mother's face. Hurt, anger, confusion, affection, the face changed every moment to reflect something else.

"I… I had to, mother. Dragons aren't what we think they are. Hiccup showed me, they don't want to fight us! We went to their island, and there's a huge dragon there, and it forces the other dragons to steal food to feed itself," Astrid whispered, trying not to let the guard hear what she said.

In any other situation the look of utter shock on her mother's face might have made Astrid laugh, but this was not a moment for laughter. They were silent for a short time while her mother found her voice.

"You… You went to the nest? How?" she finally asked, and Astrid decided that honesty was probably the best policy here.

"We flew on Toothless," she said, clarifying when she saw the confused look on Kirsten's face. "The Night Fury that defended Hiccup in the ring. He… befriended the dragon, and even learned to fly it. And I guess I befriended it as well. It's… It's amazing, mother! Toothless isn't evil! It's like that kitten Trader Johann brought once. It just wants to play."

Her mother was silent for a long time, and Astrid wasn't sure what to say. She knew it was a big shock to hear these things, she had been through it herself.

"It's… It sounds like something out of a story. Some trick of Loki, some creature Odin might have created. But… I… I don't see why you would lie about this. But… I'm having trouble believing it, honestly," Kirsten finally said.

They were silent for a few seconds, neither really knowing what to say. Astrid briefly remarked on how weird it was that her mother could easily talk for hours as she told the legend of Beowulf, or sang the song of the Wanderer. But in private conversation, she stuttered and hesitated.

"Mother… what happened to Hiccup?" Astrid finally asked, unable to take not knowing anymore.

Kirsten's head whipped up like she was startled, and it took a few seconds before she formulated a response.

"I don't know. The chief took him to the Great Hall, and a few minutes the chief came out alone, announcing that there would be another expedition. Apparently he found a way to the dragon's nest, or something. Every able-bodied Viking has to come, no exceptions, he said. I… I didn't see Hiccup come out. As far as I know, he's still in the Hall," Kirsten said, and she wondered if he was lost in there, unable to find the doors, or too nervous to walk down the steep stairs. She should be there for him, helping him find his way home.

If he even had a home anymore.

"You care about him, don't you?" Kirsten suddenly asked, and Astrid felt her face flush red. Odd that after being on trial, being forced to face a dragon, renouncing her bond with the village, and getting thrown in jail that still embarrassed her more.

"I… I guess. He's been a really good friend, and he's just… nice to me, I guess. Nicer than I deserved," she said, looking at the floor.

Astrid heard her mother chuckle, and she hesitantly looked up to see her smile. "Maybe that was all you needed. A little bit of kindness," Kirsten said, and she frowned.

"What do you mean?" she asked, wondering if her mother thought she was weak for liking Hiccup.

"I mean… he's been good for you, Astrid. I… I don't know what to think about the dragons, but I can see… he's done a lot for you. He… He made you smile, when I thought all the joy was gone from you," Kirsten slowly said, like she was carefully considering every word. Astrid smiled a little as she remembered all the times she laughed at his little jokes, and all the times he had taught her things like cooking and blacksmithing.

"Yeah, he's… he showed me a lot. He just… makes me think and feel and… I don't know, he just makes me see! And I see now he's so… he's not useless, you know? He's smart, and good, and… I don't know, I just want to be a little bit more like him, I guess…" she rambled, blushing, and she wondered why she was being so open with her mother, when she would never have considered talking with her mother about _boys_ and _feelings_. But now, it felt good to talk about it, somehow. To admit she cared about someone.

Her mother chuckled, and Astrid looked up again to see her shake her head.

"What?" she asked, wondering if Kirsten thought she was stupid.

"No, nothing, it's just… you'll understand later…" she said in between giggles, but then the joyful expression disappeared from her face. "Of course, I'm not sure if you're allowed to stay together, or what the chief is planning for you," Kirsten said with a sad voice, and Astrid felt like she was doused in ice water as the cheerful atmosphere completely disappeared and she was starkly reminded of the iron bars between them.

"Mother, what's going to happen now, when is Stoick coming to get me?" she asked, afraid of the answer.

Kirsten sighed before answering. "I don't know. I'm not sure if he's even coming here. Like I said, he's planning a new expedition, and everyone has to come. Me and your father as well. I only barely managed to sneak away to see you, but I should probably go now, love. We don't want to anger the chief further, do we?"

Astrid froze. They were going to the nest? But… But there was that monster dragon there! They didn't stand a chance!

"No! You can't go! There's something on their island, mother! There's a massive dragon, and we don't stand a chance against it. It's huge! You'll… I'm afraid you won't come back," she exclaimed as she jumped up and grabbed the bars, hoping she could somehow stop this foolish attack. Maybe if Stoick came here before leaving she could talk some sense into him, maybe she could convince the guard to talk to Stoick, maybe…

Her thoughts were cut short by her mother's sad voice. "I wish I didn't have to go, Astrid, but we have to. We can't disobey the chief. I… I should go now. Your father is probably wondering why I'm taking so long," she said, and Astrid was overcome by fear. Fear that she would never see her mother again if she left now.

"No! This expedition is stupid. It's crazy! You can't go!" she shouted, and in the corner of her eye she saw the guard look at them from the corner, ready to intervene.

"Astrid, listen to me," Kirsten said, and Astrid recognized the 'trainer' tone she had heard so often from her father. That tone that allowed no argument. "I have to go on that expedition, and you have to stay here. If Stoick comes to judge you, do whatever you need to do to get mercy. And if you get the chance, take care of Hiccup. He's important to you, I see that, so do whatever you can for him, and let him take care of you as well. Goodbye, child," her mother said before standing up and walking away. Astrid didn't get the chance to say anything before the door slammed shut behind her mother's silhouette.

Astrid fell back into the chair with a deep sigh, feeling drained. Everyone had to go on a new expedition? What could she do about that? She never felt so stuck, surrounded by stone and iron.

The guard sat back on his chair and resumed sharpening his sword. The annoying noise kept Astrid awake, and she wasn't sure if she was grateful for that. She was exhausted, but she couldn't fall asleep. Not when she should be doing something. Even if she wasn't sure what she could do.

A few minutes later the door opened and another man she vaguely knew stepped in and walked towards her guard. Astrid struggled to remember his name. Ruvik? Rudik? Something with an 'R', at least.

The guard stood up and greeted the man. "Rurik? What are you doing here?" he asked. Rurik, that was his name.

"I came straight from the docks. The ships are leaving in half an hour. Everyone has to go. That includes us," Rurik said, and Astrid frowned. If the guard left, would she be able to go free?

"What? But I'm supposed to guard her!" the guard said, gesturing towards her.

"Well, we'll have to find someone else. 'Every Viking who can swing a sword has to come' is what Stoick said, and he wasn't kidding," Rurik said, and Astrid's spirits dropped. This would be the biggest expedition in the history of Berk, and it would still be a suicide mission.

"Are you sure? He was also serious about having her detained. You saw how pissed he was in the arena," the guard said.

"Ha, you didn't see him at the docks. He's never been so serious. He's pulling out everything, drafting everyone, says he's sure he found a way to get to the nest. He's even bringing that Night Fury," Rurik said with a snicker, and Astrid's heart skipped a beat. Why would they take Toothless? And how could they find the nest?

She silently cursed when she made the connection. _"Oh Hiccup, what did you tell him?"_ she wondered.

"Yeah, but… who doesn't go?" the guard asked with a confused look on his face.

"I'm not sure. The children, the teens who are in dragon training right now. Stoick says he doesn't trust them. The elderly, like Gothi. Everyone else has to go," Rurik said, and she knew Berk was doomed if they really did find the nest and tried to fight the Dragon Queen.

"Maybe we can ask Mildew to guard her?" the guard said, and Rurik laughed hard.

"Really? Mildew? He's the one who declared her to be a divine warrior, he'll free her in an instant. And do you want to explain that to the chief? Besides, you'd have to talk to _Mildew_!" Rurik said with a laugh.

The guard shivered. "You're right. But who else is there? We can't trust the kids with this, and I don't think we can ask the elder."

They stood in silence for a few seconds, before Rurik perked up. "Wait, Bucket doesn't get to go! He can do it!"

The guard looked skeptical. "Are you sure you can trust him with this? You know him, he's… not right in the head!" he said pointing a finger to his own head.

"Yeah, it'll be fine. He's dumb, but he can follow orders. Besides, do you want to tell the chief you're disobeying his call to arms?" Rurik said, and Astrid wondered if she could use this. Maybe she could convince Bucket to free her?

"Fine, get him then. I'll keep an eye on her. But if he screws it up, I'm telling the chief it was your idea!" the guard said as he sat down again. Rurik walked out of the door, and returned a few minutes later with Bucket. The simple man looked very confused.

"Here he is. I've already explained what he should do, but let's tell him one more time: Bucket, this is Astrid," Rurik said as he gestured towards her. "She has to stay in that cell. Just keep her there until we get back. Don't open the door under any circumstances! Understand?"

"Uhm, I think so," Bucket said, and the guard stood up and gave Bucket the keys. "Keep these with you. Don't give them to anyone, especially her!" he said with a skeptical look on his face.

"Okay, we'll be off. Good luck Bucket," Rurik said, and he and the guard walked out. Astrid sat still in her chair, trying not to upset Bucket more.

"Hey Bucket, how are you doing?" she asked, hoping he might free her if she was nice.

"Hi Astrid. I'm scared, Mulch had to go away to sea, and now I have to take care of the farm by myself! And I can never remember if I have to get milk or wool from the chickens!" Bucket said as he paced back and forth.

"You know, Bucket, you'd have more time for the farm if you didn't guard me. Just give me the key, and you can go take care of the chickens, okay?" Astrid asked, desperately hoping he was scared enough to agree.

"No, no, no! They said I can't give you the key! They said that if I did, they'd tell Stoick, and I don't want him to yell at me! That's so much worse than when Mulch is angry!" Bucket exclaimed, and Astrid started to think this was hopeless. She couldn't blame Bucket for being afraid of Stoick's wrath, but she didn't think she could overcome that fear.

She tried and failed to move into a more comfortable position, and tried to catch some sleep. Maybe if she waited until Bucket fell asleep, or had to leave, she could escape somehow. Because she had to escape. She had to find Hiccup and stop that expedition.

She fell into a restless sleep, filled with nightmares where the Queen ate her parents, Stoick, Toothless, and even the guard she didn't know the name of.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hiccup wasn't sure how long he laid on the floor of the Great Hall, curled into a ball, when he finally sat up. He felt drained, but he couldn't sleep. Not when he had failed everyone. He didn't deserve sleep.

He slowly stood up and walked in a random direction, hoping to find a table to sit at. He held his arms in front of him, feeling for obstacles. Suddenly his left hand fell on a pillar, and he felt the carvings under his fingers. He stopped walking and traced the ridges in the wood, trying to remember what the pillars looked like. He vaguely remembered there were dragons, but he didn't think he had ever really looked at them.

His fingers traced the shape of a dragon's wings and body, before reaching an oddly straight shape. It took a few seconds before Hiccup realized it was supposed to be a sword, wielded by a brave Viking attacking the dragon. He traced the shape of the sword, quickly reaching the arm of the Viking, and after that, his bearded face. He remembered when that was all he wanted to be. A strong Viking with a great beard and a large sword, killing dragons and earning glory.

How much things change in a few weeks. Now the thought of killing a dragon made him ill, and he knew he would never be a great Viking. He wasn't a Viking. His father had said so. Was Stoick even still his father? He supposed he wasn't a Haddock anymore.

He traced other shapes in the wood, finding more images of Vikings and dragons at war. He had never really thought about it before, but he was starting to realize how much of their lives revolved around killing dragons. How could he have thought he could change that?

He traced a particularly large image, apparently showing some kind of great battle. Dragons rained down fire from above, while Vikings raised their spears and axes down below. He couldn't see the colors, but Hiccup couldn't visualize the battle as anything other than blood red.

Was that what the expedition would be sailing towards? Hiccup didn't think they stood a chance at invading Dragon Island. Was that their destiny? To be wiped out in a river of blood and death? To be eaten by the Dragon Queen?

He knew the walls around him were covered in similar paintings and carvings, and he felt like they were closing in. Images of blood and battle, of death and loss. It would happen again, and it was his fault. He felt faint as the black room seemed to become smaller and smaller, and his knees almost buckled, but then he swore he could hear Astrid talk to him. _"Don't you dare!"_ her voice said. _"If you're just going to sit there feeling sorry for yourself you're just being useless!"_ Somehow imagining Astrid's voice gave Hiccup strength he didn't know he had. He couldn't let himself fall again. Crying and wallowing in self-pity wouldn't help anyone. He had to do something.

If only he knew what that something was.

But Astrid was still on the island. He just had to find her, and they'd find out. He just had to find her…

He just had to find the prison building, blindly.

The dark room nearly crushed him again as the fear flared up, but he squashed it as he started walking again, searching for the door. He could do this. He could. If Astrid had the courage to face a Monstrous Nightmare, then he could walk through the village.

He quickly found the door and walked out, trying to remember where the prison was, exactly. He had never actually entered it, Stoick was always nervous he'd accidentally free prisoners.

He was so busy trying to think of where to go from the village square, he forgot he still had to get to the square. His heart leaped when he walked on nothing but air, and he didn't even have time to scream before he fell and started rolling.

Thankfully he missed the steps and rolled down the grassy hill instead of the stone stairs. That didn't mean it didn't hurt, though. He finally stopped rolling, and he lay still for a few seconds, trying to stop the bout of nausea coming up.

"Hiccup? Are you okay?" a voice asked, and he gathered the strength to roll onto his back. He knew that voice.

"Fishlegs? Is that you?" he asked, wondering if this was a blessing or a curse. At least it would be better than Snotlout or the twins.

"Yeah, it's me. Uhm, I estimate there's about an 87 percent chance you need help," Fishlegs said with a shaking voice. Hiccup's hopes soared. Maybe he wouldn't have to find the prison by himself.

"Uh… Yes, I could use a hand. Could you guide me to the prison?" he asked, trying to stand up, and suddenly Fishlegs grabbed his arm and pulled him up awkwardly.

"Okay… I guess I can do that," Fishlegs said as he gently pulled his arm, and Hiccup smiled slightly when he realized he might have found another friend. They walked in silence for a short while, before Fishlegs suddenly spoke up.

"You know, I wanted to ask you something. Based on what I saw in the arena today, I estimate there is a 73 percent chance that dragons are not always chaotic evil, and that they might have a higher modifier to intelligence than the average animal. I'd say that Nightmare actually tried to accept Astrid's offer of mutual non-belligerence, at least until chief Stoick startled it with his +5 intimidation strike," Fishlegs said quickly, and Hiccup had trouble wrapping his head around what he was saying.

"Uh… Was there a question?" he hesitantly asked.

"Oh, right! I guess I wanted to ask, uhm… am I right in thinking dragons might not be as aggressive as the dragon manual says?" Fishlegs asked with a quivering voice, and Hiccup smiled. Maybe there was someone on Berk open to this change.

"Yes Fishlegs. Everything we know about dragons is wrong. They can be friendly. That Night Fury in the arena is my friend," Hiccup said, remarking on how crazy he must sound. Luckily, Fishlegs didn't seem to mind crazy.

"Oh, oh, oh! I knew it! That dragon protected you like you were his young or something, and I saw it had some kind of man-made contraption equipped on his tail! And since you work in the forge, I estimated a 94 percent chance you forged it, and you had to have at least +20 relationship modifier before a Night Fury would let you get close enough to put it on! This is so exciting! You must have learned so much!" Fishlegs said, and Hiccup smiled at his enthusiasm.

"Actually, Astrid helped me forge it. I couldn't do it alone. She… she helped me a lot… More than I ever thought I'd get from her. That's why I want to visit her now. Maybe together we can figure out how to get out of this mess," Hiccup said as his smile dropped, wondering why he was so open with Fishlegs, but not seeing any reason not to. It was nice to talk about Astrid with someone other than Toothless.

"Well, we're in front of the prison now, Hiccup. I… I don't think I'll go in with you, I don't think I should associate with a… suspected criminal. But… I hope you'll think of something! For what it's worth, I thought what Astrid tried to show in the arena was really cool!" Fishlegs said as he let Hiccup's arm go.

"Thanks, Fish. That… That's good to hear," Hiccup said, before turning to the door he could feel next to him. He could hear Fishlegs walk away, and for a moment he wondered what on Earth he was even doing here. Did he even have a plan? What if they didn't let him speak with Astrid? What if she was already gone, punished or exiled by Stoick?

Hiccup decided it didn't matter. They were already at their lowest point, and he didn't think he could make things worse.

But talking with Astrid would make things a little better.

So he took a deep breath and opened the door. He hesitantly walked in, unsure of where to go once he was inside.

"Uhm… Hello?" he called out, and he couldn't stop a smile when he heard a loud "Hiccup!" a moment later, recognizing Astrid's voice. He walked in that direction, before walking into something, or rather, someone.

"Hey Hiccup. What are you doing here? I thought everyone was gone from the island?" a voice he recognized as Bucket said. What was Bucket doing here? Was he guarding Astrid? Was there anyone else here?

"Uh, Hey Bucket! Are you… alone in here?" he asked, trying to listen for other sounds, but that was hard in the echoing environment.

"Well, Astrid is here as well, and I have to make sure she stays in the cell. That's what they said," Bucket said in a nervous tone, and Hiccup wondered if he could use this.

"What else did they say, exactly?" he asked, searching for a loophole.

"He's not allowed to open the door, and he's not allowed to give anybody the keys," Astrid suddenly said, and Hiccup hoped she was catching on to what he was trying to do.

"Yeah, and I don't know what to do about the farm, because Mulch said I have to take care of the animals!" Bucket exclaimed, and Hiccup felt a little sorry for him. It was hard enough for Bucket to focus on one job, but getting two assignments? That would make him very anxious.

Maybe he could use that.

"Hey Bucket, here's an idea. How about I watch Astrid for a while? Then you can go to the farm and feed the animals! What do you think of that? They never said you can't have someone else watch over Astrid," Hiccup said, hoping he would fall for it.

"I don't know, what if she escapes while you're watching her? Then Stoick will be mad!" Bucket said, and Hiccup decided to bluff.

"I promise you, Bucket. She won't escape. Not while I'm watching her," he said. He felt bad for lying to Bucket, but he supposed that technically he was telling the truth. She wouldn't escape while he was watching her. But he couldn't watch her.

"Oh, alright. I'll be back as soon as I have milked the chickens and sheared the yaks!" Bucket said as he pushed past Hiccup, and he smiled when he realized it would take Bucket a long time to milk a chicken.

He waited a few moments after the door had slammed shut behind him, before walking forward.

"Hiccup! I can't believe you managed that! How did you even get here?" Astrid asked, and he moved towards her voice until he felt some iron bars. He gripped them, and she put her hand on his. He couldn't help but smile as she touched him. It reassured him to know that she was really here.

"Fishlegs brought me. Now we have to do something! We have to get you out of here and find Toothless," he said as he felt around the iron bars until he found the lock.

"Hiccup…" he stopped examining the lock when he heard the apprehension in her voice. "They're going right now. Everyone's going on an expedition to the nest. And they're taking Toothless with them," Astrid said, and he he froze for a moment. He had hoped Stoick would take a different dragon to guide him to the nest. But he couldn't stop now. Maybe they still had time.

"Then we just have to hurry," he said as he ran his fingers over the lock, trying to figure out what type of lock it was. It seemed to be a simple one-pin lock. He grabbed his thin carving knife from his pocket and put it in the keyhole. He wiggled it around, trying to turn the mechanism.

"You can pick locks?" Astrid asked with a hint of amusement in her voice.

"I forged a few, so I know how they work," he said, before turning the knife once more and hearing a click.

"Astrid, you should be able to push the latch back now," he said, trying to hold the knife as still as possible.

There was a pushing sound, then a sound of metal grating past metal, and suddenly the door swung open.

He didn't a chance to say anything before Astrid punched his arm.

"That's for getting me in prison!" she said, and his face fell.

"I'm sor..." he didn't get to finish his sentence before she kissed him on his cheek.

"And that's for getting me out," she said, and he was sure he was getting a very goofy grin on his face.

"Now let's go to the docks. Maybe they're still there!" Astrid said as she grabbed his arm and dragged him out of the building. Hiccup felt dread for what they'd find at the docks, and he desperately hoped Toothless was okay, but at least him and Astrid were together again.


	22. Starting Over

The moment Hiccup heard Astrid take a sharp breath he knew they were too late.

"They're gone. The entire fleet is gone!" she exclaimed as Hiccup ran into her from behind, unable to see she had stopped running. They fell, making the wooden boards that lined the cliff overlooking the harbor creak loudly.

He knew she was right. He couldn't look out over the bay, but there was far too little noise. Normally the docks were filled with people doing all kinds of jobs. He should be able to hear the sounds of hammering and sawing as carpenters repaired ships. He should be able to hear the creaking of wheelbarrows and the clanking of the crane as fishing boats were unloaded. He should be able to hear the wooden ramps and piers creak under the boots of Vikings coming home from dangerous voyages.

But now the only sound was the splashing of the waves against the base of the cliff, a hundred feet below him. It was way too calm. The entire village had gone away. Gone to face a threat beyond their wildest dreams.

Would any of them return? Would those sounds ever ring out over the bay again? All the excitement and adrenaline from their prison break seemed to drain away. All their hope felt so childish now. How could they have thought they would make it in time? What would they even have done if they had managed to catch the fleet? There was no way they could have freed Toothless.

"He has taken him. Your father has taken Toothless with him to Dragon Island!" Astrid said as she pulled him to his feet.

"He's not my father anymore. He denounced me," he said, barely able to believe it.

"Oh," Astrid said and there was a long silence.

"It's a mess," she eventually said. "You must feel horrible. You've lost everything. Your father, your tribe, your best friend, they're all gone," she said, and he could feel a flare of anger inside him. Did she think he didn't know that? But he was too drained to be angry.

"Thank you for summing that up," he said sarcastically. It wasn't entirely true, though. He hadn't lost everything. Astrid was still here with him. But for how long? She was a fugitive now, and he was an outcast.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that. I just… I feel horrible too. It's my fault. I should have trained the Nightmare faster," Astrid said, and he couldn't believe she thought that. It wasn't her fault. It was his fault.

He was the one who suggested that she trained the dragon. He was the one who had drawn Toothless to the Kill Ring by foolishly running in in an attempt to help Astrid. He was the one who had told Stoick that dragons could find the nest.

At all those moments he had thought he was doing the right thing. But those things had only lead the village to their deaths. When had it become inevitable? When had their deaths been woven into the tapestry of fate? When he told his father about Dragon Island? When Toothless blew open the arena?

Or had their fates been sealed way earlier? What if he hadn't realized that dragons weren't evil creatures? Then none of this would have happened. The war would have continued, and lives would be lost, but at least the village as a whole would live on, ignorant of the monster that lived in the fog beyond Helheim's Gate. And wouldn't that have been better? Wasn't it better to live in ignorance than to die knowing the entire war was futile?

But even if he hadn't seen the truth about dragons that day on the beach, when Terrible Terrors cuddled next to him, wouldn't he have seen it eventually? Wouldn't he have realized that Toothless wasn't the only intelligent dragon? Maybe their fates were sealed the moment he had spared the dragon. His weakness, his inability to kill the downed Night Fury was the cause of all this.

If he had just… been a little stronger, none of this would have happened. He would have been celebrated, he wouldn't have been distracted in dragon training, and he wouldn't have been blinded. And the village would live on, not knowing how to find the nest, and unable to be killed by the Queen.

He had thought for so long that meeting Toothless was the best thing that ever happened to him. But now he was unsure. He had tried to give Toothless his life back. But maybe he had just condemned him anyway. The Vikings would kill him once they reached the island, or the Queen would eat him, and his blood would be on Hiccup's hands. Along with the blood of all the Vikings on the doomed expedition.

"Why couldn't I have killed that dragon when I found him in the woods? It would have been better for everyone," Hiccup said, wishing he could somehow turn back time and change the course of fate.

"Yeah. The rest of us would have done it," Astrid said, and he felt like she was just mocking him now. He knew somewhere she wouldn't mock him, but it still hurt to be reminded of how weak he was. "So why didn't you?" she asked before he could make a sarcastic remark.

He felt so tired. He didn't want to think about his weakness anymore. It was enough to know he had caused all of this. Did it matter why he was so weak?

"I don't know. I couldn't" he said, hoping she would drop it.

"That's not an answer," Astrid said, and he wished he could see her face. Why was she asking all these questions? Why did it matter? Why now? She had never asked about it before. She had always simply accepted his story of how he spared Toothless without any questions.

"Why is this so important to you all of a sudden?" he asked angrily.

"Because I want to remember what you say, right now," she said, and he turned to the sound, anger flaring up again. Was she some kind of chronicler now? Did she want write a book on the foolishness of Hiccup the Useless? Record the day Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III screwed up so bad he killed an entire village?

"Oh, for the love of… I was a coward! I was weak! I wouldn't kill a dragon!" he exclaimed, hoping she would take the hint and just go away. She shouldn't even be there with him. She deserved someone better than him. Someone stronger. Someone who could do what had to be done.

"You said wouldn't that time," Astrid said, and he only felt more annoyed. Was she trying to play stupid word games now?

"Whatever! I wouldn't! Three hundred years, and I'm the first Viking who wouldn't kill a dragon!" he shouted at Astrid, hoping she would just leave him in peace. Maybe he should just throw himself of the cliff before he doomed even more people.

There was a short silence, and for a moment Hiccup wondered if she would really leave him.

"First to ride one, though," Astrid suddenly said in a soft voice, and he wondered if riding dragons was a good thing. It had been… cool, and he felt so free in the sky, but as he thought about it, he knew flying was about more than that. It had been about forging that bond between Toothless and him. It was something they could only do together. It was about overcoming their injuries. Hiccup's blindness, Toothless' tail fin, they weren't as crushingly debilitating in the air.

He had forged that fin for a reason. He had forged that fin because he saw something in Toothless. Something worth saving. Something worth fighting for.

Something he desperately hoped was within him too.

"I… I wouldn't kill him because he… looked as frightened as I was. I wanted to plunge the dagger in, but there was… I didn't see a monster there. I… He looked at me with those big eyes, and… all I could see was something that was hurt and in pain, and that was afraid of people hurting him even more," he slowly said, and as he was saying at, he started to realize what he had seen in the dragon's eyes.

"I looked at him, and I saw myself," he said, and he didn't know what to think anymore. Had he been right to spare Toothless? Even if it had lead to all of this? They had some amazing times together, and Hiccup couldn't really imagine a life without Toothless anymore. And wasn't that worth something as well?

"I… I see. I think I understand that, Hiccup. When you… showed me Toothless, I wanted to kill him, but I was scared. I was terrified. All I could see was a monster. Even after I touched him, even after you told me about him, I didn't trust him. Not really. But then we came back to feed him, and there was an eel in the basket, remember?" Astrid said, and Hiccup smiled as he thought back on Toothless' fear of a dead fish.

"Toothless was scared of that eel, and when I saw that, I saw… I didn't see a monster anymore. I saw something that could be afraid. And if it could be afraid, like me, why couldn't it be like me in other ways? And then… I didn't want to kill him anymore," Astrid continued, and Hiccup felt his jaw drop.

Astrid felt the same way? But… But she was the perfect Viking! She… she couldn't have felt the same way as him, weak little Hiccup! It didn't make sense. He had somehow accepted Astrid had befriended Toothless, but he never really thought about the reasons why. He had been too relieved that she hadn't turned them in to question her motives.

He must have been silent for a long time, because Astrid spoke up again.

"I bet Toothless is really frightened now. So what are we going to do about it?" she asked, and it took a moment before he could comprehend the question. What were they going to do? There was nothing they could do! They had tried to do something before, but it had just been a stupid plan. Something they hadn't really thought about. Maybe all their plans were like that.

"Hah, probably something stupid," he said sarcastically, feeling useless. He just wanted to sleep, and forget for a moment how he had failed Toothless.

"Good, but we've already done that," Astrid said, and he thought about their stupid plan. Train a dragon in front of the village. How had they ever thought that would work. Maybe if he was alone, maybe if they had more time, it could be done, but not in front of a screaming crowd.

But now it was too late to think about maybes and what-ifs. The expedition was gone, and they couldn't follow. They might have been able to catch up to them while flying on Toothless, but he was gone as well. He doubted there were ships left that they could sail.

They were stuck on Berk. Astrid might have escaped her cell, but they were still imprisoned. Unable to leave. As stuck as the dragons in the arena.

Hiccup's mind froze for a second when he made the connection. Maybe there was a way to catch up to the expedition. Toothless might be gone, but he wasn't the only dragon on the island.

His first thought was to reject the idea completely. It was stupid, it was insane, it wasn't possible.

But he had thought the same thing about repairing Astrid's axe. He had thought the same thing about replacing Toothless' fin. He had thought the same thing about showing Toothless to Astrid.

"Then… Something crazy!" he said, before turning around and running towards where he thought the arena was.

"That's more like it!" he heard Astrid say as she caught up to him and grabbed his arm, apparently guessing what his plan was.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Now what?" Astrid asked as she and Hiccup ran into the arena. Her giddy smile fell a little as she saw the remains of the fight that had taken place earlier. The broken weapons rack was to her right, the shield that she had dropped, now split in two, was to her left. Scorch marks littered the walls around her. Right in front of her was her axe, and Astrid was relieved to see it was still in one piece. She picked it up as Hiccup caught his breath.

"Uh… We should get the others," Hiccup said as he scratched at his blindfold.

"Which others? Everyone's gone!" she said, wondering what his plan was. She thought they were just going to break a dragon out and use it to fly to the fleet.

"The other teens are still here, right? Fishlegs helped me earlier. We should get them here!" he exclaimed, and Astrid frowned. The guards had mentioned that the current recruits didn't get to go. But still… Weren't Hiccup and she a team? Why would they need others? As she traced the white line in the axe, Astrid wondered if Hiccup didn't think that they were a team anymore.

"What do we need them for? What's the big idea here, Hiccup?" she asked as she holstered her axe, unable to look at the scar in the metal anymore.

"Because we… We screwed up, okay. We screwed it all up badly. So… I'm thinking we need all the help we can get. It can't hurt, right? We can just… ask them if they want to help," Hiccup said as he scratched at his blindfold more, and Astrid felt the urge to just grab his hand and hold it still, because Hiccup's nervousness was making her nervous as well.

"But… What are we supposed to tell them? Hey guys, want to go on a crazy rescue mission with us? I'm sure that will go over great!" she exclaimed.

"Well, do you have a better idea? Cause I'm not sure we can face that monster dragon alone!" Hiccup shouted, and she felt bad for being so harsh with him. Maybe he was right. Maybe she should trust his plans for once.

"Okay, then… shall we go talk to them?" she said softly, and she was glad when Hiccup finally stopped scratching.

"Uhm… Maybe you can go talk to them, and I'm going to… prepare things here! Set things up! Make sure we're ready for departure!" Hiccup said in a light voice, and she couldn't help but smile. She wasn't sure she liked having to get the other teens by herself, and she didn't know how wise it was to leave Hiccup with a bunch of angry dragons, but when he smiled at her like that, she couldn't say no.

Besides, time was of the essence. Every second they wasted was a second in which the fleet got closer to Dragon Island.

"Okay, just… don't get eaten by a dragon," she said as she turned around and started to run out of the arena.

"And you just make sure you don't get blown up by the twins!" Hiccup shouted after her, and she couldn't stop her laugh as she ran through the tunnel.

She ran to Fishlegs' house first. She figured he would be the easiest to convince, so she might as well start with him.

Fishlegs opened the door only a few seconds after she knocked. He took one look at her, before sighing deeply.

"Hiccup broke you out of jail, didn't he?" he asked, and she nodded.

"Yeah, and now we… uhm… have a plan to stop the expedition…" Astrid was starting to realize she had no idea how to explain the crazy plan.

"Does this plan include more jailbreaks and other illegal actions? Because I'm about 67 percent certain that the chief will exile you for this after he comes back," Fishlegs said with a shaky voice, and she resisted the urge to roll her eyes. They were beyond the point where they worried about stuff like that.

"Look Fishlegs, the chief isn't coming back if we don't do something. They're sailing to the nest now, and there's a huge dragon that will eat him if we don't get there first," she said, hoping that would make Fishlegs understand the gravity of the situation. His reaction wasn't what she expected, though. Instead of fear, she saw an expression of curiosity appear on his face.

"A… huge dragon? Bigger than a Monstrous Nightmare?" he asked, and she remembered his obsession with dragon trivia.

"Much, much bigger. Bigger than anything in the dragon manual. And you'll only see it if you come with us," she said, and Fishlegs looked very conflicted. She was so close!

"Come on Fish, this is something you can't read about in books! Don't you love learning about new dragons?" she asked, and Fishlegs' expression finally became sad. She thought she had failed, but then he opened his mouth.

"Ugh, I hate that about me! Fine, I'll come. But I'm blaming you if the chief finds out, which I think is about a 95 percent chance!" he said, and Astrid smiled.

"Okay, just wait outside the arena," she said as she started running again. One down, three to go.

"Wait, what are we doing at the arena?!" Fishlegs shouted after her. She didn't stop to answer. He might back out if he knew how close he would really get to a dragon.

Besides, she only had to get the teens to come to the arena, Hiccup might as well explain what the plan was. She wasn't even sure what he was planning.

She hoped Hiccup actually had a plan.

She ran to the Thorston house, hoping the twins were actually at home. Knowing them, they were probably taking advantage of the absence of the villagers to blow stuff up without getting punished.

She knocked on the door, listening for the sound of explosions, but hearing none.

"Boo!" a voice behind her said, and she shrieked. How had they managed to sneak up on her? She hadn't heard any footsteps!

The answer came when she turned around and saw Tuffnut hanging upside down from the carved Zippleback adorning the house. He was on the roof?

Ruffnut appeared a second later, swinging down to hang from the other head of the Zippleback. "Got her!" she exclaimed as the twins gave each other an upside down high five.

Astrid resisted the urge to punch the pranksters, and took a deep breath. Before she could say what she was there for, Tuffnut interrupted her.

"How did you break out of jail? Did you blow it up? We want to learn that trick, cause we're in there all the time!" he said, and his sister's face formed a disturbing grin, made even more disturbing by the fact that she was still upside down.

"No, I didn't blow it up! Hiccup got me out," Astrid said, and she was surprised to see… sadness form on the faces of the twins.

"Dang, Hiccup beat us again," Ruffnut said.

"Like always!" Tuffnut added angrily.

Astrid frowned. What were they talking about?

"What do you mean? Beat you in what?" Astrid asked, hoping they weren't angry with Hiccup.

"In everything! He's always better than us! He's more notorious, better at blowing stuff up, better at causing destruction…" Tuffnut said, before being interrupted by Ruffnut.

"He's even better at getting yelled at by the chief!" the female twin said, and Astrid started to wonder if it was really a good idea to take these two with them.

"Yeah! When the chief yells at us, he's just pissed. But when he yells at Hiccup, he's furious! And the entire village comes to see Hiccup get chewed out! With us, no one comes to watch anymore," he said in a sad voice. The effect was undercut by the fact that he was still hanging upside down from a wooden dragon, though.

"Heck, he's even better at getting bad-ass scars. It's like… he's not even trying, and he's doing everything we want to do!" Ruffnut said, and Astrid felt more confused than ever. She hated feeling confused.

"You guys… really want to get yelled at by the chief? And you really want scars? Scars hurt, you know?" Astrid said, trying to think of a way to get away from the twins, but she was trapped between them and the door.

"Yeah! It's like… Everyone knows who Hiccup is. Hiccup the Useless, exploder extraordinaire! No one knows us," Ruff said, and Astrid was feeling very confused.

"What? Everybody knows you! I think you blew up everyone's house at least once! You've tipped the yaks of every single farmer in Berk!" Astrid said.

"Yeah, but that's us. They only know us. They don't know me and Butt-elf here," Tuff said, before getting hit by his sister.

"Yeah! It's like, we're always 'the twins', or 'the Thorston kids', or 'those kids that tried to blow up my sheep'. They treat us like we're the same person. Half the time they mistake me for Tuff," Ruffnut said, and Astrid was starting to get an idea of what they meant.

"Yeah! There are boys who hit on me, thinking I'm a girl! That's weird! Hiccup never has guys hitting on him!" Tuffnut said, and Astrid wondered what Hiccup would say if he heard this.

"So… that's why you want scars? To be so ugly they don't… hit on you anymore?" Astrid asked, trying very hard not to laugh.

"No! We just want to look different! I mean, Hiccup got burns, and now the entire village seems to revolve around him! We want that! To be unique, and famous! By our own names!" Tuffnut declared in a pompous tone. Astrid wondered if she might be able to make a deal with them. She thought for a few seconds, while the twins started bickering over which of them would be more famous.

"You know what? How about… I get Hiccup to give you… advice… on being famous? On one condition," Astrid said, and the twins stopped their bickering to look at her curiously.

"We're going on a… really cool mission. And we want you guys to come with us. It's going to be awesome, and the whole village will be watching. If we succeed… we'll be really famous! All of us, including you," she said, hoping they would take the chance for glory.

"Hmm. What kind of mission? It better involve explosions!" Ruffnut asked, and Astrid smiled.

"Well, it will definitely involve firebreathing dragons," she said, smirking when the twins' eyes lit up.

"We… We get to blow stuff up with a dragon?" Tuffnut said in an awed voice. Before she could answer, Ruffnut quickly jumped down and knelt at Astrid's feet.

"You are the true master of destruction! Teach us, master!" the girl said as she bowed. Tuffnut jumped down and knelt as well.

"We were wrong. You are not a messenger of Thor. You're a messenger of Loki, our favorite god! We will follow you, even though we are not worthy of your divine presence!" he said, and Astrid wasn't sure if she wanted to laugh or feel disturbed.

"Okay, okay! We don't have much time, so go to the entrance of the arena, and wait for me there. Fishlegs should already be there," she said as she moved between the bowing forms of the twins.

"Praise Loki! The arena! We're really going to blow stuff up!" Astrid could hear Tuffnut say as she ran away. Her smile fell when she realized there was only one person left to talk to. This was the one she was dreading the most.

With heavy feet she walked towards Snotlout's house and knocked on the door. She swore that if he made even one stupid flirty comment she would just walk away, help be damned.

The door opened, and Astrid braced herself for the upcoming "Hey babe," Snotlout would probably say once he saw her. She was already planning where she would punch him.

Her planning wasn't necessary.

Snotlout jumped back when he saw her, and he looked at her with wide eyes. Normally when he did that he was staring at her chest, but this was different. Astrid frowned. What was up with him?

"Hey Snotlout, I'm here because…" she started to say, but then Snotlout interrupted her.

"Please don't kill me!" he shouted as he took a step back. Astrid narrowed her eyes at him. What was he on about?

"What do you mean, Snotlout?" she said in a threatening voice. He stepped back further into the house until he hit the opposite wall. Astrid followed him, wondering what he did that made him so afraid.

"I didn't want to do it! My dad made me! He said it was for the good of the village! But I feel really bad about it now, and I'm really sorry!" Snotlout whimpered, and Astrid felt a feeling of dread grow in her stomach.

"Snotlout. What did you do?" she asked in an icy voice as she drew her axe.

"I told Stoick that it was Hiccup's fault that he got burned! I lied about what happened in training that day. Dad said I'd become heir if I did it! But it wasn't Hiccup's fault, and I feel terrible, cause now he's cast out and it's all because of me!" he stammered, and she wondered how much this had affected the trial.

"You choose an odd moment to be sorry, Snotlout. You weren't sorry when you beat Hiccup up. You weren't sorry when you left him in the woods," Astrid said as she raised her axe to rest next to his throat.

"I am sorry about those things! I see that now! I was an idiot! Dad said I should make sure Hiccup wouldn't be heir. And I thought it wasn't that bad!" Snotlout stammered, and she felt a surge of anger. _Wasn't that bad_? How dare he?!

She took the handle of her axe and punched him in the stomach, making him fall to his knees with a gasp.

"Oh really? You're sorry now? Tell me, why should I believe that?" she asked him, disgusted.

"Because he's not useless! Today in the ring, I thought that dragon was going to kill you, and I just stood there! I didn't do anything! But Hiccup… he just ran in there to save you! And then I felt so bad for calling him useless all those times. Because I was the one who was useless!" he stammered as he raised his head, showing a panicked look. Astrid drew her axe back a bit. Was this some kind of trick? She didn't see any signs that he was lying, and Snotlout had never been a good actor.

"So… you're suddenly sorry for years of torturing him after seeing him perform one brave act?" she asked.

"Yeah, and because I had to lie to the chief, and because you kicked me, and because… because he had a freaking dragon, okay? It's not just because I… I think the dragon's cool, cause I… do… But he… just… I don't know, he controlled a dragon! That's awesome! Way more awesome than anything I ever did… Way more useful than anything I ever did," Snotlout stuttered, before lowering his eyes again.

Astrid was silent for a long time, as she considered the disgustingly weak person before her. To his credit, Snotlout just waited for her judgment without another word. Was he sincere? Could this be true? Did it even matter? Should he be allowed to go on the mission?

She wondered if he even deserved to get the chance to go with them. He should stay far away from Hiccup.

But this wasn't her decision. She shouldn't be the one to judge him. There was only one person who had that right.

"Okay Snotlout, here's what I think. I think I'm not the person you should be apologizing to. I think you should go to Hiccup and tell him what you just told me, beg for forgiveness, and see what he says. Do you agree?" she asked, glad when he gave a shaky nod.

"Now, I was here in the first place to ask you to go on a rescue mission with us. It will be dangerous, it will be illegal, and we'll most likely die or be exiled. Hiccup will have the final say in this, but I think you should go on that mission to prove your loyalty. And you will obey every command Hiccup gives you. Understand?"

"Okay! I will! I'll do anything!" he stammered, and for a moment she almost felt sorry for him. But she quickly squashed that feeling.

"Alright then, let's go," she said as she roughly pulled him up from the dirty floor, before remembering that she should explain something else as well.

Snotlout started to walk away, but before he could take another step she grabbed him by the collar of his vest and pushed him against the wall with her right hand. In her left she raised her axe, making sure the light reflected right into his eyes.

"One more thing, Snotface. Hiccup will decide what to do with you, but I promise you this: If you are bullshitting here, I will cut off your left arm. If you back out of that mission, I'll cut out your eyes," she said in an icy voice as she moved her head until it was mere inches away from his.

"And if you ever hurt Hiccup ever again, I will end you, do you understand? Hiccup might not be able to hit you back, but I will. Hiccup might not be able to watch you, but I've got my eye on you. If you ever do anything hurtful again I will take this axe, and I will cut you into tiny pieces and feed you to a flock of Terrible Terrors. Is that clear?" she whispered to him, relishing the look of utter terror on his face. He quickly nodded and squeaked out "Yes! It's clear!" and she released him.

"Good. Now let's see what Hiccup has to say to you," she told the quivering boy before her. He was really just a coward at heart. And if there's anything Astrid learned in all those years of training, it was how to use an axe against cowards and weaklings.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"If you're planning on getting eaten, I'd definitely go with the Gronkle," a voice Hiccup recognized as Fishlegs said, and he turned away from the cage he was examining. He could hear many footsteps, but he found it hard to count how many of them there were. At least three sets, he thought, so Astrid managed to convince at least two people to join.

He wondered how much she had told them. Why did Fishlegs think that being dragon food was part of the plan?

Before he could say anything, he sensed someone walking right in front of him, before Tuffnut's voice rang out. "You were wise to seek help from the world's deadliest weapon in your quest for destruction, servant of Loki."

What? Servant of Loki? Quest for destruction? Before he could formulate a response, Ruffnut started talking. "You're crazy," she said as she walked right in front of him. He shrank back, but she followed him, until her mouth was inches from his and he could feel her breath on his face.

"I like that," she said, and he tried not to shiver at the thought of Ruffnut making a move on him. This was another prank of hers, right?

Right?

What on earth had Astrid told them?

"Hiccup, there is someone here who wants to say something to you," Astrid said, and he wondered who this could be. He started to count the teens he knew were there, and he frowned when he realized who was left.

Why would Snotlout want to say something? He braced himself for an insult or a punch, and he certainly didn't expect the words that came out of Snotlout's mouth.

"I'm… I'm sorry for all the mean things I did to you," Snotlout said, and Hiccup's jaw dropped.

"I realize now… that I… that you didn't deserve those things, and that you… I just want to say that… I'm really sorry for… I feel bad about…" Hiccup tried to make sense of it, but he came up blank. Snotlout was apologizing?

Astrid coughed, and Snotlout stopped his stammering monologue for a second. When he opened his mouth again his words were more comprehensible.

"I… You're not useless, okay! You're not useless. I just wanted to say you're not useless," he said, and Hiccup frowned. He wasn't sure if he should be glad with this… compliment, but he also knew it was as close to a compliment as he would probably get from Snotlout.

"Uh… thanks?" Hiccup hesitantly said, and Astrid coughed again.

"And… I wanted to say… I want to ask for forgiveness. I see now… wait, that's not a good word… I mean… shit. I think you're not half-bad, and I… want to ask if I can please join your mission," Snotlout stammered, and Hiccup wasn't sure what to think.

Forgiveness? Sorry? Please? Those were words he never expected to hear Snotlout say, especially to him, and now that he did Hiccup didn't know what to do. Was this serious? Did he really mean all this? Did that mean he should forgive his tormentor? Could he even forgive him?

Hiccup's thoughts were interrupted by a loud voice. "He truly is the disciple of Loki! He got Snotlout to obey him! He is the blind sorcerer! Teach us, master of destruction and deception!" Tuffnut said as he grabbed Hiccup's shoulder, and he recoiled back. His back hit the large door of the cage behind him, and he was reminded of why they were here.

They didn't have time for this. They needed every second they had, and he would need every person willing to go. And he needed time to think, time to decide what to do about Snotlout's change of heart.

"Okay. Okay, you can come. We need to hurry!" he said as he stumbled along the wall to the Gronkle cage.

"Th-Thanks!' Snotlout muttered, but Hiccup wasn't listening to him anymore. He was trying to listen to the sounds coming from the cage. He didn't hear any growls, instead there seemed to be some kind of snoring. Maybe the Gronkle was asleep?

He felt around for the barrel he placed there earlier, and grabbed a fish from it. He held the fish in his right hand, and with his left he pulled the lever on the side of the gate.

The gasps behind him reminded Hiccup that he hadn't told them what the plan was, but he needed to focus on the dragon now. When the sounds of the chains stopped, Hiccup slowly walked into the cage, the fish held out before him. He heard a sniffing noise, and he gently put the fish on the floor right in front of him.

A moment later the fish was gobbled up, and Hiccup started talking. "Hey there. How are you? Do you want to be my friend? You'll get to go out of here!" he murmured to the Gronkle in front of him, glad it seemed to be too confused to attack him. He kept saying friendly things while slowly walking backward to grab another fish to feed it with. He didn't put the fish on the ground this time, but held it in his hand. He smiled when the Gronkle snatched it from his hands, and he slowly walked backward again.

For a moment he thought it had failed, but then he could hear the dragon follow him, always a step or two behind.

"Fish! Fishlegs, come here!" he said over his shoulder, and he reached out his right arm behind his back. "Give me your arm!" he whispered. It took a moment, but after a few mutters that sounded suspiciously like "98 percent chance of gruesome death," he felt Fishlegs' thick arm on his hand.

He moved until he felt Fishlegs' wrist, which he grabbed. Now came the moment of truth.

He moved the boy's hand forward, right where he suspected the Gronkle was. Fishlegs was breathing erratically, but he stayed put.

He heard a nervous laughter from Fishlegs, and a moment later he felt something move against the boy's big hand. Slowly, he released the wrist and stepped back.

"Congratulations Fishlegs, you have just bonded with a dragon." Hiccup said, smiling.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Astrid watched in wonder as Hiccup got Fishlegs to pet his new Gronkle, and then trained the Zippleback for the twins. Thankfully they seemed too busy praising Hiccup, thanking him for their new 'tool of destruction', to bicker with each other.

She smiled when she saw Fishlegs already talking and rubbing his new companion, and then her eyes fell on Snotlout standing nervously by her side. He had apologized to Hiccup, and Hiccup… hadn't really answered. She wondered what was going through the blind boy's mind as she saw him walk to the Monstrous Nightmare cage and grab a few fish. She figured this was probably going to be Snotlout's dragon, so she leaned towards the quivering boy.

"Remember Snotlout. You promised to obey Hiccup, so when he tells you to touch that dragon, you better do it," she said, and he responded with a shaky "Yes!"

She honestly didn't know what to think of Snotlout anymore. But if Hiccup was willing to give him a chance, she'd trust his judgment.

She watched as Hiccup lead the enormous Nightmare to the shaking boy, and she suppressed a laugh. It was almost comical to see how… in control Hiccup was. She wondered if he realized how the roles were reversed now, Hiccup having all the power, while Snotlout was scared and all but begging for mercy.

Maybe she wouldn't need to use her axe to punish Snotlout after all.

Snotlout produced a shaky laugh when he touched the scales of the Nightmare, and Hiccup spoke softly to him about the ways to befriend a dragon. Astrid couldn't hear the words, but she sniggered when she saw Snotlout's almost manic nodding.

A minute later Hiccup walked away from his former tormentor, towards the final cage. The Deadly Nadder. She met on the way, grabbing his arm to guide him in a straighter line. A big smile appeared in his face when she touched him.

"Well Astrid, time for your dragon. Though I suppose I'll need to ask you for a lift. I'm small, but I think I'm still too heavy to ride the Terrible Terror," he said as he grabbed another fish, and she laughed.

But instead of opening the gate, he handed the fish to her. "Do you want to try it yourself?" he asked in a soft voice, and she smiled when she realized he trusted her enough to let her try it.

"Okay," she said as she took the fish, and stood in front of the gate. Hiccup gave her a thumbs-up as he pulled the lever, and she watched the gate lift up.

It was strange to watch the Nadder walk out without attempting to attack it. She slowly walked forward and held out the fish. The dragon looked at her, turning its head from side to side to look at her with alternating eyes. Astrid put the fish on the ground and stepped back a bit. The Nadder looked at her suspiciously, and she remembered she still had the axe on her back.

Very, very slowly she unsheathed the axe, and the Nadder seemed to glare at her. Remembering the way she met Toothless she gently put the axe on the ground before shoving it away with her foot.

The Nadder moved its head forward a bit, and Astrid quickly looked between its legs. Her legs, she noted.

"Hey girl. I know we fought before, and you breathed fire on me that one time, but can we be friends?" she softly asked as she reached out her hand.

It seemed to take forever, but finally the blue dragon moved her head forward, and Astrid felt the hot scales under the palm of her hand. It was like that time she touched Toothless for the first time, but also different. It was even more incredible. She was the first one to bond with this dragon, it was her friend! Toothless had always been Hiccup's friend first, and she didn't mind that, but it felt incredible to have a dragon to call her own now.

"Good girl," she mumbled as she brought her other hand up to rub the dragon's head.

"I think the Nadder likes you," Hiccup said as he walked next to her, hand of front of him to feel where she was.

"I think I like her as well," Astrid softly said. She looked up from the horned Nadder to look at the other teens. Snotlout was hesitantly feeling the Nightmare's spikes, the twins were bickering who would ride which Zippleback head, and Fishlegs was already hugging the Gronkle.

"Well, let's get some rope. It's not as good as a leather saddle, but it will have to do," Hiccup said, and she reluctantly let go of the Nadder to guide him to the supply box he must have dragged into the arena.

"Hiccup? What do you think about Snotlout?" she asked as he felt around the box for rope.

He stopped his search for a moment to sigh deeply. "I honestly don't really know. But I figured that this might be an opportunity for us to… start over, I guess. And maybe he'll learn something from this crazy mission," he said, and she frowned.

"Snotlout learning something? Yeah, right," she said as she took some of the coils of rope from Hiccup.

He snorted. "There is a reason I gave him the Monstrous Nightmare," he said, and she narrowed her eyes.

"Really? Why would you give the biggest idiot the deadliest dragon?" she asked in a playful tone.

He merely smiled. "Well, I forced him to ride a dragon that lights itself on fire when it's hurt or angered. Maybe some… fiery education will make him learn something about hurting others," he said, and right at that moment a scream rang out.

"Aah! He burned me! I just told him about how he should listen to me, and he burned me!" Snotlout shouted, and she couldn't stop her laugh.

"Told you," Hiccup said before running over.

Astrid laughed as she gave Fishlegs one of the coils of rope and helped him climb on the Gronkle. Sure, this plan was crazy. Sure, Hiccup seemed a little crazy. But as she looked at Snotlout eagerly listening to Hiccup's advice while the twins bowed down again to praise him, she couldn't help but think that maybe they needed a little craziness.


	23. Through the Fire and the Flames

Silence grew in their little group. Moments earlier the other teens had been talking and shouting, but now they suddenly became quiet as the air grew colder. Hiccup wondered what had changed. They had been flying for some time now, a time in which they gradually got used to the dragons they were riding.

They had been loud when they took off from the arena. Snotlout had screamed, the twins had yelled, and Fishlegs had cried. Gradually, over the next few minutes, they had started to realize they were not about to die, and they had calmed down a little. Slowly, their attitudes had changed from fear to… something else. Hiccup listened to their voices becoming a little more confident, listened to them talking to their dragons, and listened to their hesitant jokes.

The black room he lived in had become a strangely full place. He had gotten used to silence, to just hearing Astrid's voice or Toothless' growls. It was unnerving to hear so many different sounds, ranging from Snotlout's voice, full of false bravado, to the buzzing sound of the Gronkle's small wings.

Even the dragon he was riding felt different. The Nadder flapped her wings more often than Toothless, and the neck where he was sitting was shaped very differently. It was a slightly rougher ride, as the Nadder seemed to rely more on flapping, while Toothless glided more.

It was a strange experience to be on a dragon he didn't have to control. He kept expecting commands, kept feeling for the pedal under his left foot, before remembering he wasn't riding Toothless. The dragon also seemed to listen more to Astrid than to him, reminding him that Astrid had bonded with the dragon, instead of him. He felt happy for Astrid that she had her own dragon companion now, but it also made him feel lonely, reminding him that he was forced to ride with her instead of on Toothless.

Feeling Astrid's warm hands on his waist was good, but somehow it meant nothing when the Night Fury wasn't there with him.

And now, the air had grown even colder. "We just passed into the fog, Hiccup. It's… It's the same fog as we flew in when we visited the nest with Toothless," Astrid whispered in his ear. He knew what it meant. They were nearly there. The fact that they hadn't found the fleet worried Hiccup. He hoped they had just gotten lost in the fog, or had taken a different, longer route.

He didn't want to think about the possibility that they were too late. He raised his voice, hoping the other teens would be able to hear him over the sound of the flapping wings.

"Okay gang, we're nearly…" he stopped when he heard a strange sound. The sound of many, many, many wings flapping. Moments later Astrid pushed him down, and he heard yells of surprise as a massive flock of dragons appeared to fly right through their formation. There were a tense few seconds in which the flapping was all he could hear, but then the dragons passed, leaving them alone once more.

While Hiccup was glad they hadn't been attacked, he couldn't help but wonder what the dragons were fleeing from.

A moment later his suspicions were confirmed when a faint roar echoed through the sky, making their dragons squawk and growl. Snotlout nervously asked what made that noise, while Fishlegs started spouting statistics about sound distortion and lung capacity. Hiccup didn't need Fishlegs' calculations to know the source. He heard it before in that cave. It was a strange idea that that was just a day ago.

"That was the thing we're after, guys. It's time to show it what we're made off!" he shouted, hoping they wouldn't hear the fear in his voice. His hands were shaking, and he clenched the rope a little tighter.

"Hiccup, are you sure about this?" Astrid whispered in his ear, and he shivered.

"No, I'm not. But… But we have to go in there. We just have to find Toothless and… if the villagers are there, we have to get them away, I guess. I'm not sure what the plan will be until we see it, or rather, you see it," he whispered back, making sure the others couldn't hear. They were nervous enough, they shouldn't know that he didn't have a plan at all.

"Okay. Us against the monster dragon, right?" Astrid whispered nervously and he smiled. At least they were still a team. And now they had to make sure the last member of that team was safe.

A minute passed, in which they flew in silence. Even the twins didn't say a word. It unnerved him, and he wondered why they were all so scared.

"Astrid, what's happening? What do you see?" he softly asked.

"Not much. There's a really thick fog, and it's pretty dark. There are lots of clouds as well, so everything's just… gray and black. I don't like it," she said, and he shivered. Thick fog wasn't a good sign. It would make it harder for them to keep track of each other, and to spot Vikings on the ground, if the fleet was at Dragon Island.

He was about to reply when he heard Astrid take a sharp breath. "Hiccup, there's something over there. It's like… an orange or yellow glow. It almost looks like a forge. I didn't see anything like that yesterday," she said, and he felt dread. Fire. Something was burning.

Before he could say another word, he heard the other teens curse loudly. "Thor's belt, even we never did that much damage," he heard Ruffnut say, and moments later Astrid whispered in his ear again.

"It's the fleet! The fleet's on fire! All the ships are burning!" she said in a shaking voice, and Hiccup wondered if they were too late as the sound of fire reached his ears. He could hear something else apart from the crackling.

Screams. Many, many screams. And a roar that made him want to cower in fear. That made him want to turn the dragon around and fly back to Berk. But he couldn't do that. He couldn't abandon Toothless. The Night Fury was somewhere down there, somewhere in that battle.

"Hiccup, they're down there! The villagers! They're on the beach, but they're running away from…" Astrid drew a sharp breath. "Odin's beard, it's even bigger than I thought," she said, as the Nadder seemed to fly in large circles.

"We'll have to distract the Queen to cover the villagers," Hiccup said, and Astrid seemed to get his meaning.

"Okay girl, let's shoot that big dragon. Now!" Astrid yelled at the Nadder as they descended, and moments later there was a large explosion, followed with a loud roar.

"Look at us! We're on dragons! We're on dragons, all of us!" Tuffnut yelled, as Hiccup desperately tried to think of a plan.

"Ruff, Tuff, watch your backs! Fishlegs, get closer to us!" Astrid yelled, and Hiccup cursed his blindness, making him utterly unable to see what was happening.

"Fishlegs! Break it down for us!" he yelled in a random direction, hoping the dragon enthusiast would hear him.

"Okay. Okay. Heavily armored skull and tail made for bashing and crushing, stay clear of both! Small eyes, large nostrils, relies on hearing and smell," the boy said, and Hiccup tried to process the information. It must be able to breathe fire as well, since the fleet was burning, but maybe it could run out of fire.

"Right. 'Lout, 'Legs, hang in its blind spot, make some noise, keep it confused. Make sure it doesn't attack the Vikings. Ruff, Tuff, find out if it has a shot limit. Make it mad!" he shouted, hoping they would hear him.

"That's our specialty, Disciple of Loki. We thank you for this great opportunity to show our ability to serve your cause," Ruff yelled, and he wondered if they realized how serious this was. At least they weren't fighting with each other.

"Just do what Hiccup told you!" Astrid shouted, to his relief.

"We'll be back as soon as we can! Keep it distracted!" he shouted as Astrid guided the Nadder away.

"Let's find Toothless," he told her, as he felt the heat of burning ships below him. The smoke made it difficult to breathe, and he desperately hoped Astrid was able to see through it.

A yell from the twins distracted him for a moment. He heard a loud intake of breath that lasted for a few seconds, before culminating in a sudden burst of air, sounding like the fire in the forge when he pumped the bellows, only many times louder. It was only when he heard the twins scream that he realized it had been the Queen trying to shoot them out of the sky.

Seconds later he heard a growl that sounded like Toothless, and a moment later Astrid cried out. "There!" she shouted in his ear as she turned the Nadder to land.

Hiccup felt the heat of fire all around him, making him sweat. After the dragon landed, Astrid jumped off first, then grabbed his hand and pulled him to the ground before he could decide where to move. "Thanks," he mumbled, grateful he didn't have to jump off himself.

Knowing his luck, he'd probably jump straight into a burning sail or something.

But he couldn't think about that now. He could hear Toothless moan right in front of him. He felt around, sighing in relief when he felt the warm face of the Night Fury.

"Okay, hold on, hold on," he told the dragon as he found a muzzle around the dragon's jaws. As he moved to removed it, he heard the sound of metal hitting metal next to him. Astrid cursed as the sounds increased in volume.

"Damn it, the cage is too thick! I can't break through it," she shouted, and he started to panic slightly as the fire seemed to come closer.

"Maybe there is a lock we can break open, or…" he started saying, but then the Nadder screeched. Astrid screamed, and a moment later he was tackled to the ground, his head hitting the deck hard.

Before he could ask what that was about, something hit the deck where he had just been standing. Hiccup tried to comprehend what happened, but before he could, something huge hit the side of the ship they were on.

 _"What am I even doing here?"_ The thought ran through his mind as he tried to recover from yet another threat almost killing him without him being able to see it coming. Astrid saved him once, but now he heard her scream again as her weight on him disappeared. Before he could get up, the wooden planks under him seemed to simply… disappear as a massive crash rang out, and suddenly all sound was muffled as he fell into the water.

It was strangely similar to all those times he fell into the lake after yet another tail fin broke. Instinctively, Hiccup tried to swim up, but then a muffled shriek startled his thoughts. Toothless was still down here, still bound in those chains. He'd drown if he couldn't get him out.

Even though his entire body was screaming for him to swim _up_ , to find air, he turned around and swam deeper into the warm water, following the faint growls and whines.

He kept swimming and swimming, but the sounds never seemed to come closer. He felt so heavy, and the now wet walls of his black room seemed to close in to crush him. He desperately wanted to open his mouth and _breathe_ , but he knew he couldn't.

At last his hand brushed on something metal, and he grabbed an iron chain. He pulled on it, trying to think of a way to break it, but his brain seemed so slow. He felt so heavy, and he just wanted to sleep. But he couldn't. He had to save Toothless. He had to save Toothless. He had to…

Hiccup didn't remember opening his mouth, but he recoiled when a salty taste overwhelmed him. He tried to spit it out, but more and more flooded in.

Some part of him registered Toothless' increasingly frantic cries, but his hands fell from the chains as he started to float away from his friend.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"What are you doing, you rat eating munge bucket dragon?!" Astrid yelled as the Nadder grabbed her in her talons and carried her away from the ship.

Away from Hiccup and Toothless.

She took her eyes of the blue claws holding her to look back at the burning ship where she could still see Hiccup lying on the deck, inches away from the beam that had almost fallen on him. A shadow passed over her, and she looked up.

Astrid suddenly understood why the Nadder had gotten her out of there. Her heart skipped a beat when the Dragon Queen stomped down on the ship, turning it into splinters in seconds.

"Get me back there!" she yelled, hoping the dragon would listen to her. "I have to help him!"

The Nadder made a weird squawking noise, before turning around and flying back to the wreckage. Thankful that the dragon was listening, Astrid desperately looked around, trying to find any trace of Hiccup or Toothless, but seeing nothing but splintered and charred wood.

They had to be underwater.

"Drop me, girl!" she told the Nadder holding her as she punched the claw holding her, hoping she would understand what she wanted.

After a few punches, the dragon seemed to catch her drift, and released her several yards above the ocean. She thought back to the swimming lessons every child on Berk had to attend, and combined the half-forgotten instructions with her own knowledge of athletics to move into a stance best suited for piercing the water's surface.

She closed her mouth when she hit the water, and dove down as quickly as she could. The water was dark, but she could see a vague shape not far away from her. She swam over as quickly as she could, grateful for the weight of the axe on her back enabling her to sink faster.

Her heart beat faster when she recognized Hiccup, holding a chain of Toothless' cage, but he wasn't moving. He just… floated there, in the water. Toothless was roaring and whining, and she realized Hiccup was drowning.

Astrid didn't hesitate when she grabbed his vest and dragged him upwards, now cursing the axe for making it so hard to swim. But she had to keep swimming. She had to save Hiccup.

She gasped when they broke the water's surface, and she swam to the nearest shore, a few yards away. Hiccup was as limp as a rag doll in her arms, and she realized he wasn't breathing.

She laid him down on the shore and punched his chest. "Breathe, Hiccup! Breathe!" she shouted, thanking the gods when he started coughing and wheezing, spitting water all over her. The blue Nadder landed next to her, chirping happily, but she didn't pay attention to her.

"Hiccup! Is he okay?" A voice shouted, and she looked around to see Stoick running up to her. She wondered if he was angry that they broke out of jail. His large beard made it difficult to read his face, but he didn't look angry.

He looked terrified.

Before she could answer, Hiccup mumbled something between his coughs. "Tooth… Less" he whispered, and she turned his father.

"He's fine, but you've got to save Toothless!" she yelled at him as she pointed at the water, not caring that she was commanding the chief.

For a moment, Stoick looked like he was going to argue, but when Hiccup yelled the name of his friend again, he took a deep breath and jumped into the water.

"Come on, Hiccup. Let's get you up," she said as she grabbed him under his armpits and pulled him up.

He looked like he wanted to argue, but at that moment Toothless appeared with a loud splash, carrying a drenched Stoick. The Night Fury dropped Stoick a few yards away before landing next to Hiccup with a short growl. Astrid released him from her arms, seeing how eager he was to greet his friend.

"You got it, bud," he said as he felt for the dragon. Astrid looked at him climb into the saddle. Part of her wanted to climb on Toothless and stay close to Hiccup, but she knew they needed every dragon they could get now.

"Hiccup!" Stoick yelled as he grabbed the boy's arm. She looked over, making sure he wasn't going to hurt Hiccup. He wouldn't, right? He saved Toothless!

"I'm sorry. For everything," the chief said, and Astrid raised her eyebrows in shock. The chief apologizing? To Hiccup? She wondered if the chief was sorry for her too.

"Me too," Hiccup said, and she looked away. Should she apologize as well? Apologize for blinding Hiccup? For trying to train the dragon? Yells reminded her that there was still a monster dragon to fight, and she looked up to see the action. The twins seemed to be circling the Queen on their Zippleback, creating rings of gas around its head that would explode seconds later. Fishlegs was nowhere to be seen, and… was that Snotlout on top of the Queen?

How had that happened?

She ran to the Nadder and climbed up. "Want to fly again, girl? Want to show that big bully what we're made of?" she asked, and the dragon answered with a fierce growl.

She looked around to see the Haddocks still talking, and she remembered that Hiccup couldn't really see how urgent this was.

"Hiccup! We have to go now, the others need our help!" she shouted at him, and he said one last thing to his father she couldn't quite catch before suddenly taking off. Astrid wasted no time in following him as they approached the giant beast again. She saw another ring of green gas explode, and the shock wave almost threw Snotlout off the head of the beast.

"Get Snotlout out of there!" she yelled at the twins when she passed them, and sighed when they immediately began to bicker.

"Astrid! Does this thing have wings?" Hiccup suddenly asked her, and she looked.

"Yeah, but it hasn't used them yet!" she yelled back, hoping he heard her over the sound of another blast of fire from the Queen. She quickly looked around to see that the twins had managed to pick up Snotlout, narrowly missing a stream of dragonfire.

"Do you have a plan?" Astrid asked as she flew in front of the giant dragon again. She never got her answer, because suddenly the Queen opened its mouth and breathed in. The Nadder flapped as hard as she could, but Astrid felt with a shock that they were being sucked towards the giant mouth.

She held onto the rope with all her might, closing her eyes when she could feel herself being lifted from the Nadder's back with the force of the suction.

A high-pitched scream made her open her eyes just in time to see Toothless flying straight at her, firing a shot just underneath her. Before she could comprehend what was happening, there was a loud explosion followed by an unexpected shock wave. Astrid screamed when she was thrown off the Nadder's back.

The world was spinning around her, one moment the sky was up, then it was down, then it was up again. Astrid screamed as loudly as she could, trying to flap her arms to stop her free-fall. Every time she span around, the ground came closer, and she was sure she was going to hit it any moment now. She closed her eyes, unable to look at the spinning world anymore.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hiccup's heart skipped a beat when he heard Astrid's scream. Had they hit her? Night Furies were known for the fact that they never miss, right?

Toothless roared for him to go up, then immediately right, then down. He automatically followed the commands as Astrid's scream continued. The Night Fury made a sharp turn using a dive, then flew back. Hiccup prayed to every god he knew that they wouldn't be too late. If she was falling from so high, she'd never survive it if she hit the ground. He couldn't let that happen. He'd rather die himself.

Suddenly Astrid's scream stopped, and Hiccup was never more scared than in that moment. Had they caught her? Or had she died, right there? The thought was too horrible to consider.

"Did you get her?" he hastily asked Toothless, who warbled happily after a few moments. Hiccup sighed in relief. She wasn't dead. But he had to stop all of this soon. It was only a matter of time before someone died. Maybe someone already had. Members of the expedition, or maybe one of the other teens. They could have been blasted or stomped by the monster, and Hiccup wouldn't know.

He wouldn't know even if their bodies were right in front of him.

He had to do something. He couldn't let anyone else get hurt. He couldn't let anyone else pay the price for his stupidity.

Toothless, land! We need to have a short team talk," he told the dragon, who descended quickly.

They had barely landed when he felt a punch on his arm. "That's for nearly shooting me!" Astrid said. He must have looked expectant, because she hit him again. "You won't get anything until after we defeat this thing. Now let's go!" she said as she tried to climb into the saddle behind him.

"Wait! Wait! Don't climb on!" he quickly said. It was too dangerous. She had already nearly died twice today, he couldn't risk it again.

"Why? I can't see my Nadder, so I'm coming with you," she said like it was the most obvious thing in the world. He wanted nothing more than to have her with him, but he couldn't. And he had already dragged this on for too long.

"Because… I need to know some things first! Where are the others?" he asked, trying to make a plan.

"Uh… I can't see Fishlegs, but the twins just got Snotlout out. I think they landed, maybe they ran out of dragonfire," Astrid said. Hiccup nodded. That was good, they seemed to be safe. Well, Fishlegs was missing, but at least he didn't seem to be in the line of fire. It would be him alone against the Queen.

"Now let's go! You can ask me other questions in the air," Astrid said, and he moved the fin to the 'up' position while holding his arm between her and the saddle.

"No! I… I can't risk you getting hurt, Astrid," he said, and before she could say something to change his mind he flew off, yelling "I'm sorry!" back at her.

She would probably punch him really hard after this. But it would be worth it. She was worth more than him. She was Astrid the Amazing Warrior, Berk needed her more than little Hiccup the Useless.

Astrid yelled something after him, but he couldn't hear her over the wind. Hiccup desperately tried to focus. He needed to forget about Astrid and focus on the Queen. He had to get it away from the beach. And the fastest way to do that would be to make it fly.

"Okay bud, let's see if that thing can use its wings!" he told his dragon, who started roaring commands at him. Up, up, even further up, and then down. He could hear Toothless shoot, followed by a loud explosion. They circled for a minute, waiting for the Queen to react. It growled, clearly angry.

"You think that did it, bud? You have to do the seeing for us, after all," he asked, and Toothless produced an angry roar. Hiccup wasn't sure what it meant, but moments later he heard movement. It sounded like flapping wings, only way, way bigger.

"Well, it can fly," he said. Apparently limitless firepower, impenetrable skull, strength of a giant, control over other dragons, ability to fly. Was there anything this monster couldn't do?

His thoughts were interrupted when Toothless started barking commands again. They seemed to fly through some kind of maze, and he could hear the dragon right behind him. He hoped it might get stuck on some rocks, or be forced to fly around them, but he underestimated the strength of the Queen. Dust and pebbles rained on him as the monster seemed to simply smash through the massive rocks and boulders.

This wasn't working. The dragon snapped at him, the sound of the jaws hitting each other loud enough to make him miss one of Toothless' commands. Panicking, he moved them up, hoping to avoid more obstacles. There was too much noise below, with the crushing of stone, the shouts of the Vikings, and the attacks of the Queen.

He couldn't do anything if he was deaf as well as blind. At least he wasn't troubled by the fog, and Toothless seemed to have the uncanny ability to see in the dark…

Hiccup moved them up again as an idea started to grow in his mind. Maybe they could make that thing blind as well. Astrid had mentioned there were a lot of dark clouds and fog.

"Okay, Toothless, time to disappear!" he told the dragon, who seemed to catch on to what he was trying to do.

He heard the dragon take another long breath behind him, and he knew what it meant. "Here it comes!" he yelled as he moved them to the right, and he could feel a rush of heat move past him.

Hiccup noticed it took a long time for the Queen to prepare its shot, but when it finally fired, it fired a massive amount of flames.

That dragon might be enormous, but maybe it was as vulnerable as a tiny Terrible Terror on the inside.

The Queen bit at them one more time, but then it stopped following them. Had they lost it? Were they inside the fog? He didn't dare to ask Toothless, and he doubted the dragon would understand his question anyway. He just had to have faith that Toothless could avoid it.

"Okay bud, let's use that good old 'never shows himself' trick on that thing, okay? And aim for the wings!" he told Toothless, who responded by commanding him to turn them around.

He smirked when moments later another explosion rang out, followed by a loud roar.

They kept firing and disappearing into the dark clouds, and the Queen seemed to become angrier and angrier. Suddenly he heard another deep breath as they flew past it.

"Look out!" he yelled as the Queen fired more fire than ever. Hiccup felt the very air heat up as they seemed to fly right past a stream of fire. Hiccup smelled something burning, and there was a loud crackling sound, like something was on fire.

He didn't think that _he_ was on fire, so that left only one possibility. They only had one way left to go, and that was down.

He wished he had been able to repair the safety system on the saddle after Astrid cut the ropes apart a few days ago.

"Okay, time's up. Let's see if that worked," he told Toothless, who roared loudly before turning again.

"Come on, is that the best you can do?" he yelled at the Queen as they flew past it, briefly wondering if he was completely crazy taunting a monster like that. It was strange how it wasn't as scary as Hiccup expected. Maybe it was the fact that he couldn't see how big it really was, that made him so brave right now.

Well, braver than usually, at least. He could feel his hands shake as they flew down, and the Queen started following them, slamming its jaws just behind them.

"Stay with me buddy, we're good! Just a little bit longer!" he told the Night Fury as he noticed the pedal mechanism becoming lighter. Would they even be able to turn?

Would they even be able to land?

Just when he started wondering how far away from the ground they were he heard the Queen open its mouth to take another deep breath.

"Hold, Toothless," he said, more to himself than to the dragon.

"Hold, hold…" he mumbled, trying not to think of the consequences if he reacted too late.

"Now!" he screamed as he turned the pedal to the 'up' position, and Toothless prepared another blast.

Suddenly the near silence was shattered by a loud explosion, followed by an angry roar from Toothless. Then there was a horrible ripping sound, like sailcloth being torn to pieces.

There were more roars above them, and suddenly the roars came from below them as they seemed to fly past the giant dragon that was now crashing to the ground.

There was a massive explosion that made Hiccup's ears ring, but he couldn't focus on that. He had to focus on flying Toothless. The dragon gave him a command to go left, but the pedal didn't work anymore. He desperately shifted his left foot back and forth as he felt a wave of heat just behind them.

"No, no, no!" he mumbled as he tried every position the pedal had, but none of them worked.

Toothless roared, and he could hear fear in that roar. Before he could ask what it was, they hit something hard.

Hiccup didn't remember being thrown from the saddle. He didn't remember a ripping sound as the pedal was torn from the rest of the tail. He didn't remember Toothless' panicked roar as the dragon turned around and dove to catch his fallen rider.

The only thing he remembered was his black room bursting into flames as he fell into a sea of fire.


	24. The Ordeal of Fire

"No! I… I can't risk you getting hurt."

With those words Hiccup took off again, and it took a few seconds for Astrid to understand what just happened.

"Get back here, you son of a half-troll!" she called after him, fury increasing when he didn't react to her command. Had he just ditched her? Why would he do that? To stop her from getting hurt, he said. But… But wasn't he scared? Hiccup was the one who's blind, he needed all the help he could get. And Astrid had been willing to help him, she wanted to get on Toothless and keep him safe.

She looked around frantically, searching for the Nadder she had been riding, but she didn't see her anywhere. She had lost track of it when she was blown off the dragon by Hiccup. Nobody else was around either. She must have been dropped off at the other end of the beach, and the villagers had to be a mile away.

Astrid looked up to see Toothless diving down, unleashing a purple shot at the Dragon Queen. The blast was powerful enough for the Queen to stumble and fall, and Astrid saw a chance. She might have lost her dragon, but she had been training years to kill dragons with her axe. She drew the weapon and charged towards the hunched form of the monster.

But before she even got close the dragon stretched its wings, and for the first time Astrid realized how _big_ it truly was. It had seemed smaller from dragonback, but now she felt like an ant beneath the paws of the beast.

She ran as hard as she could, but moments later the Queen flapped its wings and took off, chasing after Toothless and Hiccup. Astrid felt dread when she saw how small the Night Fury was compared to this beast that seemed to belong more in a myth than in reality.

She stopped running when she realized she couldn't reach it from the ground. Where was that stupid Nadder? She felt so damn useless! Hiccup was up there risking his life, and she was down here doing nothing! She had promised him that she would never abandon him. She had promised she would never let him go into the wild alone.

But now he was alone up there, and she was down here, because he had to be so noble.

She was going to punch him as hard as possible when he got back down.

She watched in horror as Hiccup lead the Dragon Queen through the nearby sea stacks. She hoped the solid rocks might do some damage, but the monster smashed through them like they were made of paper instead of stone. She wondered if it was some spawn of the gods, some mythical offspring of Loki or Hel, sent to Midgard as a toy for the gods to torment humans with.

How had she thought her axe could have hurt it? She would need Thor's hammer or something to harm it.

All the while, Toothless circled over the beach and ocean, only a short distance ahead of those massive jaws. Suddenly the Night Fury flew up, towards the dark clouds hanging overhead. Astrid strained her eyes to follow the small dot, flinching when a stream of fire shot at Hiccup. For a short second she saw the black dragon evade the flames before disappearing into the clouds. The Dragon Queen followed with slow flaps of its gigantic wings.

For a few seconds there was silence, before mighty roars rang out from the sky. The Queen sounded furious. Astrid wished she could see what was happening up there, but all she could see was swirling clouds and the smoke columns rising from the burning ships.

Without warning the sky lit up in a bright flash, and there was a loud bang. Astrid first thought it was a lightning strike, but then it happened again, and again, and again. It took a few moments for Astrid to realize it was Hiccup and Toothless shooting at the Queen from the cover of darkness. Each time there was a bang she could see the shadow of the enormous Dragon Queen against the flashing sky.

Astrid felt immensely small as she looked up to the battle raging above her. It was like the stories her mother told her of the world of the gods. As she looked at dragon fighting dragon her favorite myth sprang to mind.

Ragnarok.

She had always been fascinated with the battle that marked the end of the world. When she was little she would ask her mother to tell it every day before she would go to sleep. Warriors who died valiantly in battle would go to Valhalla, where they would train relentlessly for the final battle between the gods and the forces of chaos. She had always been sure she would one day take part in that glorious fight.

Of course, she knew the battle would be futile in the end. The gods would die, one by one, struck down by the creatures they had once created in their folly. The sun would be swallowed whole by the great wolf Fenrir, and the heavens would be torn apart. In the end the entire world would be destroyed in flames by the fire giant, Surt. But somehow, knowing the end never made the fight any less heroic in young Astrid's mind.

But now that she was looking at the flashes in the sky she wasn't sure it was heroic anymore. Hiccup seemed like Thor himself, wielding the power of lightning and thunder, striking at the monstrous reptile. She remembered how Thor would fight Jörmundgandr, the Midgard Serpent that encircled the entire world, during Ragnarok. Jörmundgandr would spew his poison into the air before Thor would eventually strike him down with his mighty hammer, Mjolnir, and the great serpent would be no more.

For a moment Astrid hoped that Hiccup would be able to do what Thor would do in Ragnarok and strike down the Dragon Queen, but then she remembered how the story ended. She knew the entire part by heart:

_Against the Serpent goes Odin's son.  
In anger smites the warden of the Earth.  
Nine paces fares the son of Fjorgyn,  
And, slain by the serpent, fearlessly he sinks._

Thor would only walk nine steps before succumbing to Jörmundgandr's poison. She had never understood that. Thor was so strong, how could he fall? But now, seeing a monster that she knew was nothing compared to the snake that encircled the world, she finally understood.

Some monsters are just too strong, even for a god that could level mountains. And if Thor could not survive, how could Hiccup? How could that weak little blind boy go against a giant and live?

She gasped when a loud roar rang through the air, and suddenly the sky itself seemed to erupt in flames. She wondered if this was actually Ragnarok, and Surt had come to light the sky on fire with his burning sword.

Astrid froze when she saw a tiny shape fall down from the clouds, a tiny dot of flame causing a trail of smoke behind the Night Fury. Were they on fire? Would they burn?

Was this the Dragon Queen's poison?

She followed the falling shape in horror, involuntarily screaming when the Dragon Queen appeared just above them. Astrid was sure they would be swallowed whole if they didn't smash against the rocks below.

Suddenly there was a bang, and the monster's mouth seemed to light on fire. She looked at the wings tearing apart, the head erupting in flames, and she saw the flicker of Toothless' dark shape fly up, past the dragon that was now crashing to the ground not far from her.

The moment it collided with the rocks there was an enormous explosion that knocked Astrid to the ground. She felt an enormous wave of heat pass over her, and she scrambled to her feet, ears still ringing from the sound.

She looked up to see the black shape just ahead of a cloud of flames expanding in all directions, and for a moment she thought they would make it.

But, like the Midgard Serpent, the Dragon Queen had one last trick up its sleeve. Astrid screamed when Toothless hit the giant tail and she saw a tiny figure fall from the dragon's back, quickly disappearing into the mass of flames.

Astrid didn't remember deciding to run, but suddenly she was sprinting harder than she ever had before, hoping she could somehow catch Hiccup. But it was futile. She had to take cover behind a large rock when the wall of fire hit her, and for a second she thought that she would be burned alive. She cowered behind the rock, feeling useless as Hiccup was falling into that inferno. Just when she thought it would never end the flames disappeared and the world became dark.

It rained ash and dust, and Astrid had trouble breathing. She jumped up and ran as fast as she could, desperately hoping it was not too late.

"Hiccup! Hiccup! Toothless!" she screamed into the smog, unable to see more than a few feet in front of her.

"Hiccup! Where are you?! Toothless!" she kept screaming their names while running through the fog, trying to reach the place where Hiccup would have…

No! She couldn't think like that! Toothless would have caught him, he was fine.

He had to be. Hiccup was not Thor, the Dragon Queen was not Jörmundgandr, and there was no poison in the air.

There had just been more smoke and fire than Astrid had ever seen.

Astrid heard a faint roar in the fog, and she ran in that direction. If Toothless was there, maybe Hiccup was too.

She sighed in relief when she found the hunched form of the Night Fury, but her smile fell when she saw no sign of Hiccup. The dragon was softly groaning. Astrid looked at his tail, and saw that the artificial fin was completely burned away, the iron bars warped and broken.

Had the same happened to Hiccup?

"Toothless! Are you okay? Where is Hiccup?" she asked as she knelt next to the dragon, putting her axe down. The dragon opened his eyes slowly, and she saw he was barely conscious. Some life seemed to return to his eyes when he recognized Astrid, but he didn't react to her questions.

No. Hiccup couldn't be gone. It couldn't be. She should have kept him safe. She should have been up there with him, she should have caught him when he fell.

"I'm sorry, Hiccup. I'm so sorry that I couldn't keep you safe," she said, and Toothless groaned. With a move that seemed to take all the dragon's power, he opened his wings.

Astrid screamed when she saw Hiccup's still body lying there. She jumped up and moved towards the boy that had gone against a god. He was covered in ash and dust, and the parts of his face not covered by the blindfold were littered with small burns.

She gasped when she leaned in and heard his shallow breathing. He was still alive! He was okay! But then she looked at the rest of him, and felt sick. The pedal of the tail fin was still around his left foot, but it wasn't intact anymore. Smoke rose from the remnants of the leather and wood, and the metal bands were glowing red. Hiccup's boot was completely charred black, and she knew she had to get it off him.

She grabbed her axe and carefully started to saw at the mess of charred wood and glowing iron that surrounded Hiccup's foot, but it was no use. The edge of the axe quickly became dull, weakened by the heat coming from Hiccup's foot. She threw her axe into the dirt behind her and looked at the problem more closely.

The wood and leather was mostly burned out and gone, but a bar of glowing iron was twisted around Hiccup's ankle, and she could see it burning through the charred remains of the boot, nearly touching bare skin. Small tongues of fires rose from the places where the boot touched the iron. She had to get it away from him. Now.

Her breathing quickened as she looked around, searching for something to pry the metal away. There was no water nearby to cool it, and she didn't have any tools. She searched Hiccup's vest pockets, but she couldn't find his knife. Her axe was too big.

The smell of charred flesh hit her, and she knew she couldn't wait any longer. She didn't have a tool, but she still had her hands.

She took a deep breath, doing her best not to cough from the dust she inhaled, before reaching her hands out to the glowing stick. At first her hand flinched away from the heat coming from the metal, but she forced herself to continue. If Hiccup could fly through Ragnarok and live, she could take a little heat. She had been training all her life to ignore pain.

She still screamed when her hands grabbed the ends of the metal bar. Pain like she had never felt before raced through her hands, as everything in her body screamed at her to let go, but she wouldn't. She couldn't let him get burned again.

She closed her eyes and bit her lips, trying to ignore the pain as she pulled the metal straight. She couldn't feel her fingers anymore, and she was sure her arm wrappings were burning into her palms. The moment the glowing bar was straight enough she pulled it off Hiccup's ankle before flinging the horrible object away.

Then she screamed again, as hard as she could, her hands feeling like they were burning off. She had never imagined she could feel this much pain. She clenched her hands together, unable to do anything other than think about how much it hurt. She heard Toothless warble, but she couldn't react. All she could do was hold her hands to her chest and scream, praying the pain would go away soon.

Suddenly something wet ran across the back of her hand, and instinctively she opened her eyes. Toothless was licking her arm, and she nearly moaned at the relief she felt as the cool saliva touched her skin. She opened her hands and held them out to the dragon, who proceeded to lick them.

She gasped at the cool sensation, and the pain seemed to lessen. She took deep breaths, before finally looking down at Hiccup.

He was still breathing, and his boot wasn't smoking anymore. She was about to reach out her hand to try and get the boot off his foot, but a voice rang out.

"Hiccup! Is he alive?" Stoick shouted as he ran up to them.

Astrid could only produce a shaky "Yeah," before Stoick fell to his knees and grabbed his son.

"What happened?" the chief said as he examined the burns on Hiccup's face.

"I… I don't know. I think Toothless caught him, but… but the pedal was caught around his foot, and I had to remove it, or it would burn through his ankle," she explained as she pointed to Hiccup's boot.

"Oh no," was all the chief said as he reached out and gently grabbed the black remains of the boot. He pulled, and it fell apart.

Astrid felt a wave of nausea when an overwhelming smell of charred flesh hit her, but she forced herself to look.

Her first thought as she looked at the black strips falling to the ground was, oddly, that Hiccup wore very thick boots. It wasn't until she saw something white that she realized the truth.

That hadn't just been his boot falling off. It was his skin. She turned around when she realized she was looking at his bone and threw up.

She didn't remember Gobber gently pulling her away from the boy whose skin was falling off. All she remembered was overwhelming pain in her heart, pain that was even greater than the pain in her burning hands.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Astrid cried out in pain as she drew her hands back from the cold water. She had tried to cool the burns in the ocean, but the salt water hurt her wounds even more. She rubbed her hands together, trying to get the salt away from her, and tried to ignore how weird her hands felt. The blisters on her fingertips and palms were turning into an ugly whitish color, and they still hurt.

But she couldn't help but think it was still better than Hiccup's foot. She nearly burst into tears again as she remembered the blackened skin and muscle peeling apart. They had to amputate. There was no way to save his lower leg. She knew that, the foot was all but gone, but she still felt horrible about it.

She had broken her promise. She promised him she wouldn't let him get hurt again. She promised she would be there with him.

She had promised her axe would never hurt him again.

But it still had. They had used her axe to cut his foot off. It was the closest weapon, and one edge was still sharp. Astrid hoped Hiccup wouldn't remember any of this. Even though he was unconscious, he had still screamed when Stoick brought the blade down and hacked through the charred ankle in one swing. The scream and smell of charred flesh brought back memories of that other time Hiccup was burned. Gobber had said then that it would get easier. That she would get used to seeing injuries.

He lied. If anything she felt even worse than she felt then. She couldn't help but think it was all her fault. She should have stopped him, she should have reached him sooner, she should have done something.

It should have been her up there, not Hiccup. He didn't deserve to be burned again. He didn't deserve to lose his leg as well.

But he had, and now she didn't know what to do. She hadn't been able to look at the amputation. She had turned away just before the blade fell, but Hiccup's scream still echoed in her ears. She had walked away then, not able to take Hiccup's soft moans and Stoick's and Gobber's cursing as they treated the wound.

Somehow she found herself at the edge of the island. The sea itself was gray, reflecting the clouds overhead. Driftwood and remnants of the fleet floated in the water and washed up on the shore. The ships had stopped burning, and Astrid could see that they were heavily damaged. She doubted any of them were fit to sail. Astrid saw lightning strike not far from her, and barely a second later the loud bang of thunder hit her ears. Was Thor angry? Were the gods fighting over what happened today?

Were Hiccup's wounds a punishment from the gods for killing their toy? _"The gods hate me,"_ Hiccup would often say, but she had always thought he was joking. But now, seeing all the pain he went through, she wasn't so sure anymore.

Her thoughts were interrupted by a call behind her. "Astrid!" she recognized her father's voice and turned around. Her parents were running towards her, nearly tripping on the loose ground. Her father's arm was in a sling, but other than that they looked okay.

Astrid braced herself for the inevitable scolding she would receive from her father, but she didn't expect what happened. Tolfdir ran right up to her and threw his good arm around her, pulling her against him in a hug.

"You're okay! Thank Odin you're okay! I saw you fall from that dragon, and I thought… Oh, girl, thank the gods you're okay!" her father mumbled into her shoulder, and she realized he was crying. She had never seen her father cry before, and she didn't know what to do.

Kirsten put her arms around them as well, as Tolfdir continued to talk. "I was so afraid. I thought you were dead. And I was so angry with you before! That was stupid, I see that now, girl! And I'm so proud of you! So proud…"

Eventually he let her go and sat on the ground. Astrid let herself fall as well, exhausted from the day's events.

"You were right about what you said. About the dragons. And about Hiccup, and the Night Fury. I'm sorry for doubting you, Astrid," Kirsten said as she sat down next to Astrid.

"I'm… I'm sorry for breaking out of jail. I know you said I shouldn't, but Hiccup showed up and he picked the lock, and…" she started, but her mother laughed.

"Hiccup got you out? Didn't I tell you, Tolf? He is good for her!" she said as Astrid shook her head in confusion. They weren't mad? She had disobeyed her mother's orders, and the chief's orders, she had committed treason!

"You're not angry?" she softly asked.

"No, Astrid! When I saw you on that dragon, I… I don't know, I just… I felt so proud! You stood for what was right, you saved your fellow villagers, you… you were a true warrior, Astrid. And I am so proud of you," her father said, and she wasn't sure how to answer.

Luckily, she didn't have to, since her thoughts were interrupted by a loud squawk, and the blue Nadder landed next to her. Her father shrank back, and his good hand went to his sword, but he didn't draw it.

"Hey girl? Are you okay? Did you miss me?" she softly asked as she reached out and scratched the dragon under her chin with aching hands. The dragon chirped happily, and she turned to her parents, who were looking on with shocked expressions.

"You want to meet her? This is… Well, I haven't given her a name yet, but she got me and Hiccup here," she said as she gently grabbed her mother's hand.

"Incredible," was all Kirsten could say as Astrid laid her hand on the Nadder's beak.

"Thank you, dragon. I… By Thor, I never thought I'd say this to a dragon, but… thank you. Thank you for helping my daughter. I'm… I'm in your debt," Tolfdir said as he stood up and knelt before the dragon. Astrid smiled at her father, always conscious of his honor.

"So Hiccup showed you that the dragons can be friendly?" Kirsten asked as she gently petted the purring Nadder.

"Yes, he befriended Toothless, and he trained the other dragons for us, including this one," she said, her face falling when she remembered Hiccup was still wounded.

"Where is Hiccup? I… I want to thank the boy who saved us all from that monster," her father asked, and she rose to her feet. She had to face Hiccup and his missing foot again.

"He's… He's wounded," she said as she lead her parents to the crash site, the Nadder following close behind.

"We can't sail back yet, Stoick! None of the ships are even close to seaworthy," she heard Spitelout say, and she looked up to see him arguing with Stoick, Hiccup's prone body next to them. Toothless seemed more awake now, gently nosing Hiccup.

"My son is dying, Spitelout! He needs real bandages, real medicine! He needs to get back to Berk, now!" Stoick shouted, and she felt cold dread creeping up on her. Was it that bad?

"Well, I don't know what you expect me to do. I can't make a ship from nothing! It would take days to salvage enough wood from the fleet to build a new ship! I don't see any forests here either!" Spitelout said, and Astrid suddenly spotted Snotlout standing next to his father, looking at Hiccup with a shocked and horrified expression.

"I can't let my son die! He needs clean bandages! Is there really nothing left?" the chief asked with a hint of desperation as Astrid and her parents walked up to them. Her eyes were drawn to Hiccup's foot, or rather, the lack of foot. It was strange to see his leg simply… end below the knee. The stump was covered with what looked like a torn shirt. Toothless was gently smelling the makeshift bandage, crooning sad noises.

"No, the medicines were on Hoark's ship, and that's completely burned. I'm sorry, Stoick," Spitelout said. Astrid couldn't believe it. Hiccup would die without medicines? He couldn't die! But if the ships weren't able to sail to Berk, how could they bring him home?

The Nadder walked around them to Toothless, warbling at him. Toothless reacted with a sad growl, and Astrid wondered if the dragons were talking. She couldn't see any injuries on Toothless, and she hoped he was okay. She walked around Hiccup and knelt next to the Night Fury.

"Hey Toothless. Are you alright?" she asked him as she ran her aching hand over his face. In the corner of her eye she saw her father kneel next to Hiccup and grab his hand. He shook the hand while looking very worried.

Toothless crooned sadly, reaching out his paw towards his rider. _"I'm not fine while Hiccup isn't fine,"_ the dragon seemed to say. She looked at the warped metal bars that were still around his tail. Thankfully, they didn't seem to hurt him, but the broken tail still reminded Astrid of the fire they had flown through. She looked at the saddle on Toothless' back, slightly scorched, but probably still usable. Well, it could be used if Toothless could actually fly, but…

Astrid's brain seemed to freeze for a moment when the thought hit her. There was another way to get Hiccup back to Berk. Toothless might not be able to fly now, but there was another dragon right next to her.

Spitelout and Snotlout had walked away, back to the ships, while Stoick just looked defeated. Her parents were softly talking, pointing at Hiccup and her. She rose to her feet and put her hand on the Nadder's beak.

"Sir? Chief Stoick? I think I know how to bring Hiccup to Berk," she said, and Stoick whipped his head up to look at her.

"I can bring him on my Nadder. We flew here on her, and I can take him back. It would be quicker than waiting for the ships to be repaired," she explained, and a look of relief appeared on Stoick's face.

"You can really carry him on dragonback? W-Would that even be safe? Are you sure you can do it?" he asked, and she saw her parents looked nervous as well.

"Yes, I can. I have to. He… He did so much for me, so now I want to do anything I can to help him. I couldn't save his leg…" she said as she showed the white blisters on her hands. "… but I can bring him back. I'm sure the dragon wants to help as well,"

Stoick was silent for a few seconds, and Astrid noticed her parents looking in horror at her burned hands. They still throbbed and hurt, but it didn't seem too bad now. Hiccup was dying, she didn't have time to worry about a few burns. So she ignored their looks as she waited for Stoick's decision.

"Alright then. I… I suppose if Hiccup and you trust these… dragons, then I should too. Take my chief ring with you as well, so the villagers know you're not a fugitive anymore," the chief said with a heavy sigh. She hadn't expected that. He wasn't angry with her? Didn't he want to punish her anymore?

She climbed on the back of the Nadder and grabbed the ropes that were still around the dragon's neck. As her parents gently lifted Hiccup Stoick slipped his ring off his finger and gave it to her.

"Sir? What did you mean when you said I'm not a fugitive anymore?" she softly asked him.

"I… Am I correct in thinking you removed glowing metal around Hiccup's foot with your bare hands?" he asked, and she nodded.

"Yeah, I tried to save the foot, but I was too late," Astrid said, hoping he wouldn't be angry with her for that. Her mother very gently passed Hiccup to her, and she laid him over her lap, his head against her chest.

"Astrid, do you remember what the original terms of the Jernbyrd were? The defendant had to walk ten yards while carrying glowing hot iron. I… You just did something very similar, and I can't help but see it as a sign from the gods. They have given you strength, Astrid. You might not have been able to save his foot, but maybe you have the strength to save his life," Stoick slowly said, before sighing deeply. She pulled Hiccup closer against her, tying him to the rope.

"Just save him, Astrid. Save him and you will have my eternal gratitude," he said, and she nodded again. Thunder roared and the sky was getting darker. They should get going.

"I'll try, chief. Bye mother, bye father," she said, before nudging the Nadder with her foot.

"Come on girl, let's go home," she told the dragon, and a moment later she was airborne.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

They had been flying for barely a minute when more thunder echoed through the air. Moments later it started to rain. While Astrid was glad for the cool sensation on her hands, she recoiled when she saw that the rain was completely black. It was raining thick, sticky blobs of ash, turning everything they touched black.

She turned Hiccup slightly, leaning his back against her left arm, while his legs dangled over the right side of the dragon. She bowed forward, trying to shield Hiccup from the worst of the horrible rain.

She wondered if this was a message from the gods, or simply a weird weather effect from the large fires on Dragon Island.

"Come on, girl! You have to keep flying! We can't stop! We just have to fly through this storm, okay? You can do that, right?" she shouted to the Nadder, hoping they would be out of this terrible weather soon.

The dragon squawked and flapped her wings a little faster, and Astrid used her free hand to scratch her horns. Her hands didn't hurt as much now anymore, as they were being covered by the ash raining down on them.

"Good girl! You're great at this, aren't you? You can fly right through a storm. You're a stormfly. Maybe that's a good name for you. Stormfly. You like that? Do you want to be called Stormfly?" she asked, and the Nadder chirped happily.

Astrid suddenly felt really stupid for interacting with the dragon like that while Hiccup might be dying in her arms. But she knew that if she kept thinking about him she'd go mad. She used her free hand to wipe some ash from his blindfold. At least the blindfold would prevent ash and dust from getting in his scars. If he'd wake up, he'd need a new, clean blindfold, though.

No. _When_ he'd wake up, she told herself. She couldn't think that he might die. She just had to think of something else. She had to think about the future. What would he do without his leg? He would need a peg leg, like Gobber. He'd probably want to make it himself, and add stupid features and weird metal thingies she wouldn't understand.

He'd still need her help to forge it, and she would gladly do it. Just like with his blindness, she'd be right there with him, and she'd help him every step of the way.

"I'm not going anywhere, Hiccup. I'm going to help you get through this. You just keep fighting, okay? You just… you better live. Or I'll be really angry! And… And I'd be really sad, okay! You… You made me care about you, and I don't want anything to happen to you, you big idiot," she wasn't sure why she was pouring her heart out to him. Maybe it was the fact that he probably couldn't hear her. He certainly wasn't reacting to her words.

Astrid sighed in relief when Stormfly started to fly even faster as the wind died down. A drop of clear liquid fell on Hiccup's face, and Astrid realized she was crying. What was it with this stupid boy that made her care so much? She sniffed and pulled him a little closer as the rain finally started to lessen, and she buried her face in his hair. He smelled all wrong. Hiccup was supposed to smell of fish, and the forge, and of dragons and wind. But all she could smell was charred meat and ashes. He needed to be washed. When they arrived on Berk, after they had treated his… wounds, she'd wash his hair, and his face, and get this horrible smell off him.

More tears fell on Hiccup's face, making lines through the ashes on his cheeks, and she felt weak and useless. Hiccup was dying, and all she could do was cry. But the tears wouldn't stop, so she simply nudged Stormfly with her feet and tried to wipe the ashes from Hiccup's face, praying they would reach Berk before it was too late.


	25. Silent Vigil

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, Astrid saw the lights of Berk in the distance. The sun had gone down a while ago, though it barely seemed to make a difference with the dark clouds still hanging overhead. Her legs were cramping up, and her hands were hurting from holding Hiccup, but that wasn't the reason she was happy they were nearly there. Hiccup had remained unmoving in her arms, and shallow breaths were the only sounds he made. She tried not to look down at his legs, knowing that torn shirt was the only thing covering his leg.

She hoped Gothi would be able to help him. The leg might be… gone, but hopefully they'd be able to stop any infection setting in.

Stormfly flew past one of the watchtowers, and Astrid heard a shout. Seconds later a horn blew.

The signal for a dragon attack.

Astrid nudged the dragon under her, and Stormfly landed in the square. A few people ran out of their houses and looked at them with fear in their eyes. Astrid looked around, holding her hands in the air to show she wasn't armed. She tried to identify who was in charge, but it was hard to see a leader among the old men and young children. More villagers ran into the square, holding pitchforks and pickaxes. Astrid was thankful none of the real warriors were here anymore, and all that was left were the very young and the very old.

"It's Astrid!" one of the boys suddenly shouted, and the old Vikings started whispering, raising their makeshift weapons in their shaking hands.

"I'm not here to hurt you, and Storm- the dragon isn't going to hurt you either. Hiccup here needs medical attention. Gothi needs to take a look at him," she slowly said as she tried to dismount Stormfly, not finding a way to do it without dropping Hiccup.

"Weren't you in jail?" someone asked, and Astrid looked up to see a middle-aged woman she recognized as Gunborg walk forward a bit, a small axe in her only hand. Gunborg always took care of the little children of the village when their parents were unable to do so. She was infertile herself, but that didn't stop her from being a second mother to everyone. Astrid remembered that when she was little, before she became focused on training, she would always ask mother to take her to 'Auntie Gunborg' to play.

Oddly enough, Hiccup was never present in the group of children surrounding Gunborg.

"I was, but I got out… It's not important! Hiccup needs help! Now!" she shouted, pointing at the bloodied stump. A young boy hesitantly walked forward carrying a torch, and, carefully avoiding the Nadder, shined the light at Hiccup's leg.

Gasps rang out, and Gunborg walked forward slowly, her axe held out in front of her. "How… How do we know it's not a trap? You're both criminals. Stoick exiled you. And now you come here… riding a dragon…" her voice faltered as she looked at the crooning Nadder. The rest of the Vikings were whispering.

"Stoick sent me! We just came from the dragon's nest! Stoick gave me his ring, he said we're not fugitives anymore, and he wants you to save his son!" Astrid said as she grabbed the ring from her pouch and held it out to the woman.

"I… This is his ring. He wouldn't… I suppose we should help you then," Gunborg said as she took the ring, looking very uncertain. Astrid sighed in relief and lowered Hiccup down as far as she could. Two boys of about twelve years old ran forward and took Hiccup from her arms. "Careful!" she stressed as Hiccup's comforting weight disappeared.

Carefully she climbed off the Nadder, scratching her as a reward for the flight.

"We'll take him to Gothi now. Stoick left me here to take care of the little ones, and I suppose Hiccup is one of those," Gunborg said with a forced smile as she gestured to the small children looking at Stormfly with wide eyes.

Astrid answered with a nod before following the boys carrying Hiccup. Stormfly followed close behind, crooning at the Vikings surrounding the square.

"So… what's with the dragon?" Gunborg hesitantly asked. Astrid sighed. She felt way too tired for this, but she knew she had to spread the truth about dragons. Hiccup had ended the reason the dragons attacked Berk, and now she had to stop the Vikings from attacking the dragons.

So, as they walked up the hill to Gothi's hut, Astrid ignored her fatigue and explained what happened on Dragon Island to Gunborg. The one-armed woman was skeptical, but it seemed she wasn't immune to Stormfly's charm. By the time they climbed the stairs Gunborg was hesitantly stroking Stormfly's scales, a look of wonder on her face.

"To think… 300 years of war… all those deaths… all those orphans… for nothing," Gunborg muttered as they opened the door to Gothi's hut. Astrid didn't answer. She could only look at Hiccup lying on the table, the stump uncovered for all to see. Her breathing quickened as she looked at the black-charred skin and scars where the tongues of flame had touched his leg. Gothi was examining Hiccup, absently waving for one of the boys to grab her medicine bag.

Astrid sat down in a small chair in the corner of the room. She felt more exhausted than she had ever felt before, but she didn't want to sleep. She wanted to make sure Hiccup was okay. The smaller boy left the house after a short conversation with Gunborg, but Astrid wasn't paying attention to that. She only looked at the large knife the other boy was cleaning. She vaguely remembered he was an apprentice of Gothi, of sorts. The village was always in need of more healers, and some smart kids were sent to learn Gothi's runes and the secrets of her healing herbs and surgeries.

She wondered why Hiccup was never sent to learn the healing arts. He would have been a lot better at it than at dragon killing. She supposed Hiccup would have been too busy with chiefing lessons for studying herbs as well.

And now he would never be able to be a healer, without eyes and without a leg. She looked away when Gothi took the knife and started to cut the stump open. Astrid pressed her hands together, groaning when one of the blisters burst and bloody pus ran down her hands.

"Are you okay?" Gunborg asked, and she nearly jumped from the chair. Astrid tried to hide her hands, but Gunborg grabbed them and exposed the dirty wounds.

"These have to be cleaned and bound," Gunborg said. Astrid shook her head. Her wounds weren't important. They should focus on Hiccup. She just had some small burns, Hiccup lost his leg!

She didn't care that she could barely feel her fingers anymore.

"No, it's nothing! You should help Hiccup!" she said, pulling her hands back.

Gunborg simply sighed, before grabbing her hand again. "Astrid, don't act like a child. Gothi and Vali are already doing everything they can to help Hiccup. He'll be okay. Ignoring your own injuries isn't going to help Hiccup. These burns are bad, and I need to treat them now, or soon you won't be able to use your hands at all," the older woman said in a tone that she remembered from her youth. Gunborg would use the same tone when she was telling fighting children to stop and apologize.

Astrid knew she was right. She'd need her hands. Hiccup would need her hands. She needed to hand him things in the forge, she'd need to grab his arm to guide him through the village.

"Fine. But I'm staying here. I'm not leaving Hiccup," Astrid said as she stood up and allowed herself to be guided to the small table on the other side of the room. She glanced at Hiccup lying on the table, and a wave of nausea hit her. Gothi and the young apprentice were carefully cutting at exposed muscle and bone. Astrid knew it was necessary, she knew the bone had to be shortened so it would be covered by skin, and the muscle had to be reattached, but it still hurt to see it happen to Hiccup.

"Alright, just keep your hands still," Gunborg said as she started cleaning away the ashes and blood on Astrid's hands. It stung, but Astrid forced herself to look at Hiccup's surgery just a few feet away. This was why she had gone through all that pain. Why she was still going through pain. So Hiccup would be okay. A few burns and a bit of pain were a small price to pay for that.

Gunborg cut her half-molten arm wrappings apart and applied ointment and cream to her hands, before wrapping them in bandages with remarkable skill for a woman with only one arm. Astrid forced herself to focus on that. If Gunborg was able to apply bandages one-handed, Hiccup could learn to walk with one leg. He'd learn to run and jump again, and she'd find a way to help him fly on Toothless.

"Okay Astrid, you have to come back here every day and have Gothi refresh the ointment and bandages. Try to use your hands as little as possible," Gunborg said, but Astrid was barely listening. Hiccup groaned as Gothi chipped a piece of bone off. Gunborg, probably seeing where here attention was focused, simply guided her back to the chair and sat her down.

"I'm going to tell the village what happened. And Astrid?" Gunborg said, and Astrid tore her gaze from Hiccup for a moment to look up at her.

"Take care of yourself. You've done more than enough to help Hiccup, now you've got to help yourself as well. I'm not going to lie, Hiccup's in a bad shape right now, and when he wakes up he's going to need you healthy and strong," the woman said, and Astrid merely nodded. She knew Gunborg was right, but it still felt… selfish to think about her own needs when Hiccup's leg was being cut apart right in front of her.

Gunborg patted her shoulder before leaving the house. Astrid watched Hiccup's leg for a while longer, but before the surgery was complete she fell asleep, her dreams filled with fire and ashes.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Astrid was sitting on Hiccup's bed, moved downstairs for now. The silence felt wrong. Hiccup was supposed to be loud and lively. He was supposed to be gesturing wildly with his arms while rambling about an invention.

He wasn't supposed to be all still and quiet. She squeezed his hand, hoping for a response, but receiving none. Hiccup normally never ignored her, and it made her angry. She wished she could just shake him awake, she wished he would just get up and laugh again.

She wished he would squeeze her hand back.

"Come on, Hiccup. Wake up," she said, not knowing if he could hear her. When he didn't respond she sighed before pulling him to a sitting position, his back against her chest. When he was stable, she gently poured a cup of water into his mouth. Odd that, even though he was in the deepest sleep she had ever seen, his body still swallowed when presented with water or food. Apart from the movement of his throat, he was perfectly still, and it scared Astrid.

Vali, Gothi's apprentice, had explained that Hiccup would probably be in this sleep for a long time, but that they thought he would wake up someday. Astrid forced herself to focus on that. Hiccup would wake up. He had to.

When the water was gone Astrid put the cup down, nearly dropping it from her tightly bandaged hands. Holding things was hard and painful, and she knew she should probably ask someone else to feed Hiccup. But somehow she didn't trust anyone else with this task. She'd just suffer through the pain as long as she had to. When she used certain fingers it didn't hurt as much, anyway.

She took the bread, broken by Vali into small pieces, and began feeding the tiny chunks into Hiccup's mouth one by one. Every time she'd wait for him to swallow, panicking slightly when one chunk went the wrong way and caused the boy to cough it back up. Finally the bread was gone, and Astrid laid Hiccup back again.

She wished she could sit here for a while longer, but Hiccup wasn't the only one she had to feed. So she stood up and walked outside. A loud squawk greeted her as she closed the door, and she smiled when she saw Stormfly there, eagerly waiting for her breakfast. She led the Nadder to her own house and grabbed some fish for her to eat.

"Astrid? There's someone here who wants to ask you something," a voice said as she left her house, and Astrid looked up to see Gunborg nearby, a small boy with black hair standing next to her.

Astrid tried not to sigh. She had been bombarded with questions when she left Gothi's hut the morning after Hiccup's surgery. Everyone asked if their family members were okay. She'd told them she wasn't sure, but that the ships would probably return in a few days, and then they would see who was okay.

She had felt the disappointment and fear in the air, before the little ones started crying for their parents to come home. Gunborg had shushed them, distracting them with a game, but Astrid still felt the glares of the old Vikings on her. She knew they were wondering why she had taken Hiccup home, but not their sons and daughters.

Somehow she didn't think this little boy was asking about his mum or dad, though. He was staring at Stormfly with a look of awe, and she walked over to him.

"Hello there. Who are you?" she asked the boy who couldn't take his eyes of the Nadder.

"I-I'm Gustav. Auntie Gunborg said you flew on a Deadly Nadder, and that Hiccup flew on a Night Fury! Is that really true?" he asked, and she smiled.

"Yes, Gustav. We trained the dragons to bring us to the nest, and Hiccup even killed the bad monster with his dragon!" she said while bringing Stormfly a little closer. "Do you want to meet her?" she asked the boy.

He looked a little scared, but after a look of encouragement from Gunborg he reached out his hand to the Nadder.

"Wow! Th-This is pretty cool! Can I have a dragon of my own?" he asked when he touched Stormfly, and her smile fell. She wished Hiccup was here to see this. A Viking boy, asking to have a dragon friend of his own.

"Maybe later, Gustav. You should ask your parents first, and the chief should be okay with it as well. But we should go now, it's time for lunch," Gunborg said as she pulled him back a bit.

"Aww, but I wanted to ride the Nadder! Can I, Astrid?" the boy eagerly asked, and she did her best not to laugh. To think that the war had only been over for two days, but some people were already willing to befriend the dragons.

Stormfly growled a little, clearly uncomfortable, and Gunborg interjected again. "Not now, Gustav. But you can tell the others you touched a dragon!"

"They'll be so jealous! And one day, I'll have my own dragon! I want to have a Monstrous Nightmare! And I'll kill big monsters, just like Hiccup!" Gustav exclaimed as Gunborg led him away, and Astrid wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry. She was happy someone in the village seemed to appreciate Hiccup's sacrifice, but she wished he was there with her.

It seemed like a new day was dawning, and Astrid hoped Hiccup would be able to see it soon.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Astrid ran down to the docks the moment she heard the horn blow twice. The signal for Vikings returning. Children were already crowding the cliff and wooden ramps, trying to see if their parents were on board of the ship docking in the harbor.

Astrid ran down the ramps and arrived at the dock just as the ship moored. Astrid expected Stoick to be the first one to set foot on Berk, but Toothless jumped out as soon as the boat was close enough. The dragon ran over and started sniffing her.

Could he smell Hiccup on her?

"How is Hiccup?" a voice asked, and she looked away from Toothless nudging her to see Stoick and Gobber walking up to her.

"He's okay. He's still asleep, but Gothi is sure he'll wake up soon," she told the chief as Toothless pushed her with his paw.

"He's been frantic ever since you left with Hiccup. I guess he really misses him," Gobber said as he gestured to Toothless. Astrid wondered if Hiccup missed Toothless, even in his sleep.

Did he miss her?

"Well, let's show him Hiccup's still alive," she said before leading them up the ramp. As they walked Toothless sniffed the ground, probably trying to locate Hiccup.

"I brought your axe. You left it behind on Dragon Island," Gobber said as he showed her the weapon. She took it, wincing when the heavy weight hurt her hands, still wrapped in thick bandages.

"It's a little damaged on that side," Gobber said, and she looked at the edge he pointed at. She remembered using that edge to saw through the remains of the pedal. The heat must have damaged the weapon.

"I can easily fix it, though. Free of charge. After all, you saved my apprentice!" Gobber said, and she tried to smile. She remembered how Hiccup had fixed her axe before. She wanted to have that again, laughing and assisting him in the forge.

"No, I want Hiccup to fix it," she said, and Gobber simply nodded. They reached the house, and Toothless ran in as soon as Stoick opened the door. The moment the dragon saw Hiccup he warbled loudly and all but pounced the boy. She smiled at the dragon's enthusiasm, though her smile fell when she saw Toothless' happy mood disappear when Hiccup didn't react. The dragon stopped warbling and laid his head on the bed, gently nosing Hiccup.

Stoick sighed deeply before sitting on the bed and lifting Hiccup. He felt the burns on his face, briefly lifting the blindfold to examine the scars as well. Astrid noticed a look of pain crossed the chief's face as he looked at Hiccup's eyes, but then the blindfold was shifted back in place and Stoick's face became neutral again.

Astrid sat down next to Toothless and scratched him under his chin. The dragon didn't respond, though. He just warbled sadly at Hiccup. Stoick lifted the covers to look at the stump, and Astrid saw another look of pain on his face.

"Oh son. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," Stoick softly said, and Astrid looked away, not sure if she should be hearing this. Gobber walked over and patted the large chief on his shoulders.

"He'll be okay, Stoick. Just remember that he'll need all our help to recover. Mine, Astrid's, Toothless', and your help. You told me how proud you are of him. Don't forget that you'll need to tell that him as well.

"I will. I see now that I was the blind one. I just… didn't see him. I didn't see what he needed. I thought that… I couldn't help him. I tried to do what I thought was best, but… I see now that that wasn't what he needed. He needed his father, not his chief. I was a fool. And now he's… he's blind and crippled and…" Stoick's voice broke, and Astrid realized he was crying.

No one spoke for a long time, as Gobber patted Stoick on the back and Astrid tried to cheer Toothless up.

Suddenly the door opened and a large Viking came in.

"Chief? Are you here? We need you at the docks. We're trying to decide what to take back to Dragon Island," the man said, and Astrid saw Stoick's face become stony and still again.

"I'll be right there," he said, and the messenger left. Stoick brushed his fingers through Hiccup's hair one last time before standing up.

"I have to go now. We're going back to Dragon Island with supplies. We need to bring the rest of the Vikings home. I truly wish I didn't have to go, but the village needs me more than ever right now. I… I hope I come back before Hiccup wakes up, and when I come back I won't leave again. I'll leave him in your capable hands. I'm sure you, and Gobber, and T-Toothless will do your best to take care of him," the chief said, and although his face was still and composed, Astrid could see he was doing his best not to cry again.

"We will, chief. I'm not going to let anything happen to him," she said as she grabbed Hiccup's hand.

"I understand you have to go, but this should be the last time, Stoick. That boy needs his dad," Gobber said before hugging the chief. Stoick nodded when he pulled away from the hug.

"It is the last time. And if he wakes up before I'm back, tell him I'm so, so sorry," Stoick said before leaving the house again, leaving Gobber, Astrid and Toothless behind with the boy who hadn't responded at all.

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It was odd to climb the stairs to Gothi's hut with Gobber again, knowing that she wasn't there to bring Hiccup. She was there for her own injuries. The itching and aching had gradually disappeared, but her hands still felt… weird. It was hard to determine what it was under the thick layer of bandages, but something felt… different than before.

Gobber was translating Gothi's runes as usual, and Astrid waited for Gothi to remove the bandages and reapply the salve as she had done every day for the past week. This time was different, though. Gothi inspected her hands for a longer time than usual, carefully feeling all the white blobs and reddened skin that now riddled her hands. Astrid tried not to look, and tried not to think about the fact that she barely felt Gothi's hands on hers.

Eventually Gothi released her hands and started writing in the sand.

"She says your hands have healed as much as they will. Thankfully no muscles or bones were damaged, so you should still be able to move and carry things like you used to," Gobber said, and Astrid was glad for that. She unsheathed her axe from her back, thankful that she didn't feel any pain, but mortified by something else.

She barely felt the handle at all.

Trying not to drop the axe from her shaking hands, she ran her fingers over the weapon, noting that she didn't feel any… texture on her fingers. She could feel that she was grabbing something, but the wooden handle and iron blade felt exactly the same. Some of her fingers were better, some were worse, but it still terrified her. All she felt was the scar tissue covering most of her fingers. It was like she was wearing thick gloves.

"I… I don't feel as much anymore. I can't feel the difference between the wood and iron," she said, trying not to sound like she was freaking out.

Gothi sighed, before scribbling more runes in the sand.

"Gothi says that that's to be expected. Your skin was heavily damaged, Astrid, and we can't fix that entirely. You're… You're going to have to live with this," Gobber slowly said, and Astrid tried her best not to give in to the surge of anger rising in her. She wanted to hit something, she wanted to scream, she wanted to punish someone for this injustice. So her hands were scarred and numb forever? And for what? Hiccup lost his leg anyway. It had been for nothing.

It had been a useless attempt to save what had already been lost. She had been so desperate to save Hiccup, to save the boy that made her feel so much. Maybe she wasn't allowed to feel, so the gods took away her sense of touch. Maybe this was a punishment for killing the Dragon Queen. Then she mentally slapped herself. She was feeling sorry for herself, while Hiccup was still unconscious and missing a leg.

Gobber must have noticed her tight grip on her axe, and walked over to her.

"Come on, Astrid, it'll be fine. You can still use that axe just like before. And now that you don't have to have all those bandages on anymore, you can help me in the forge. I'm going to make a prosthetic leg for Hiccup, and I could use a hand," he said as he opened the door.

Astrid slowly nodded, feeling numb. She wondered if this was how Hiccup felt when he got the blindfold. She remembered wondering why he looked so miserable when he was declared healed. Why he had been crying outside that first night. _"Crying doesn't help anyone,"_ she remembered thinking.

Now she understood. Just because you got a scar out of it, didn't mean it was fun. And sometimes there were invisible scars as well, hidden under sarcastic remarks and insistent I'm-fines. She wondered if Hiccup had been suffering more than she had ever thought. She used to think he got over it pretty quickly, never remarking on it.

She wondered if he just wanted to cry sometimes. She certainly felt like crying over her burned hands. When he woke up, she'd tell him it was okay to cry, and that she wouldn't think he was weak. She'd let him cry over his lost eyes, and lost leg, and he'd let her cry over her numb fingers.

Maybe then she would feel a little more healed.

"Okay, I'll help," she said before following Gobber to the forge.

When they arrived, she noticed one of Hiccup's copper drawing plates on the workbench, and Astrid remembered they would have to forge something else as well.

"Gobber, I want to make something else for Hiccup as well. A present for when he wakes up," she said. "Can we rebuild Toothless' tail fin? Hiccup had a pedal on his left foot he used to control the fin, but I suppose it will have to be changed now that…" her voice trailed off as she picked up the fin design and showed it to Gobber.

Gobber took the copper plate with a confused look on his face, before it lit up in comprehension. "He… He drew lines in the metal? That boy is too smart for his own good," he said, before he suddenly started to laugh.

"That was your 'secret project', wasn't it?! You were making a fin to make a dragon fly again. Right under my nose! Oh, you kids are lucky Hiccup is a hero now, or I'd be angry. But I'll see what we can do about that pedal. I think that Night Fury will kill me if he doesn't get to fly with Hiccup soon," Gobber exclaimed as he examined the design with his fingers.

Smithing wasn't as fun as she remembered it. Though she tried to laugh at Gobber's singing and bad jokes, it just wasn't the same. Every time he dropped something she wanted to pick it up, before remembering that wasn't necessary with Gobber. Gobber could see where everything was. He didn't seem to need her help that much, only asking her to keep the forge at a certain temperature, or explain details of the saddle, but she was grateful for the distraction.

Steadily the prosthetic and pedal were starting to take shape. She hated seeing the piece of metal that would be Hiccup's foot, and she was glad she couldn't really feel it in her hands. It still felt… unreal, somehow. She still couldn't believe Hiccup's foot was really… gone. That he would have to walk on this ugly contraption for the rest of his life. At least it would match the new tail fin, locking into the pedal with a mechanism Astrid didn't really understand.

When the forging was done, Gobber asked Astrid to grab a piece of cloth from the storage shed to complete the fin. Last time she had grabbed some simple brown cloth. There was so much brown cloth, she didn't think it would be missed. But now brown felt wrong. Hiccup deserved something brighter and nicer, even if he couldn't see it himself. So she grabbed a piece of red cloth with the Berk crest painted on. It would show everyone that he really was a Viking, and that he really was a Berkian.

Astrid would just punch everyone who disagreed.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"What are you doing here, Snotlout?" Astrid asked, looking at the nervous boy in front of Hiccup's house. He must have arrived on the ship that came in earlier. The Vikings had managed to repair two ships, and they were sailing back and forth between Berk and Dragon Island, slowly bringing all the Vikings home.

"I just… I wanted to see how Hiccup's doing. I mean… He's hurt! And… I want to make sure he's okay!" he stuttered, and Astrid narrowed her eyes. Snotlout had never cared before.

"He's not okay. He's been asleep for ten days straight, and he just lost his leg. I don't think he needs your 'jokes'," she said as she blocked the doorway of Hiccup's house.

"I know that! I'm not here to joke, or to pick on him, or something! I just… I don't know. I feel bad, okay! And I want to say sorry!" he said, and she sighed. She wished Gobber was here, but he was overseeing the supplies for the ship returning to Dragon Island. And Stoick was still at the nest.

So it was up to her to decide what was best.

"I'm going to be honest, Snotlout. I think you should stay far away from Hiccup. If he wants to be friends, that's up to him, but he should come to you first. But… I suppose you can come inside for a moment. Just… say what you have to say, then leave. And if you do anything, well… I've got my axe right here," she finally said, not mentioning that the axe was damaged.

Snotlout looked a little queasy, but he finally nodded. "Okay. You're right, I suppose. Thanks for letting me in," he said, and she moved out of the doorway.

"I'm not doing it for you, Snotlout. I just think Hiccup deserves a real apology from you," she said as he entered, and he simply nodded.

Snotlout sat down in the chair next to the bed, and leaned over Hiccup. Astrid moved a little closer, ready to intervene if he was going to try anything.

"Hey, little cousin. You're… you're not looking so good, are you? But at least you've got Astrid to look out for you, right?" he said, and Astrid took deep breaths, forcing herself to give him some time.

"I suppose… you're not so bad. I mean, you saved us all from that big dragon. That was pretty cool. And you got a big cool scar too! Though I guess you don't think it's cool right now," Snotlout continued, and Astrid wished he'd just apologize and leave already.

"I… I'm sorry for all those things I did to you. I thought… that I would be a better heir than you, I guess. But… you lead us into battle, and you took on that monster. You even trained a Night Fury! And you did those things blindly! That's… that's pretty awesome, I guess. Real chief stuff! So… sorry. I… I hope you can forgive me," Snotlout said, before standing up and exiting without another word, leaving a confused Astrid and a silent Hiccup behind.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"This isn't funny anymore, Hiccup. You've been asleep for two weeks now, and I'm getting worried, okay. Why can't you just wake up? Toothless really misses you, he barely eats! I don't know what to do about him," she told the boy on the bed. He still didn't respond, and she sighed deeply, before grabbing the bucket she brought.

He needed to be washed again. Thankfully the ashes were gone, but he still sweat, even in his sleep. His hair was greasy, and Toothless' incessant licking didn't help either. So she undid his blindfold, wincing when the scars were revealed to the world, and dipped the cloth in the bucket of soapy water. After wringing it out she ran the cloth over Hiccup's dirty face, trying to touch the scars as little as she could. He always seemed to wince when the cold water touched them, and even though she was glad to get some reaction, she hated causing him pain.

Toothless crooned unhappily as she wiped away his saliva from Hiccup's cheeks, but didn't move from his place next to the bed. The dragon had barely moved since arriving on Berk. He refused to sleep or eat, only looking at Hiccup with sad eyes. Only when Astrid brought Stormfly along did he eat a few fish before resuming his silent vigil.

She sighed before moving on to Hiccup's hair, rubbing a generous amount of soap in before dipping the cloth in the water again. He needed a haircut, she noted. His hair was starting to grow over his blindfold. She supposed it wouldn't matter much to him, but it looked wrong.

"We're gone for two weeks, and you're already washing his hair?" Astrid jumped up, startled by the unexpected voice. She looked around and saw her mother stand in the doorway. Astrid tried not to shriek. She thought her parents were still away. They must have been on the ship that came in today.

Astrid felt her cheeks heat up when she realized what her mother must have been thinking when she saw them. Touching someone's hair… meant stuff. It was something only betrothed or married couples did.

"Mother! It's… It's not what you think! It's just… His hair was dirty, and someone had to wash it, so… I just did it! It's nothing like… you know!" she exclaimed while flinging the cloth back in the bucket. Toothless raised his head to look at the intruder, but didn't respond further.

Kirsten giggled as she walked over. "Oh really? From what I hear from Gunborg, you've been feeding him as well. And why couldn't anyone else do it? Gobber maybe? Or Vali?" she said, and Astrid wished she could just disappear. It wasn't anything like that!

"Because Gobber couldn't really do it with his hook, and Vali was busy. And I want to do it," Astrid said, before realizing what she just blurted out. "Wait, I didn't mean it like… I just don't want him to get sick!" she said.

Kirsten laughed softly before sitting down next to her. "It's okay, Astrid. I won't tell anyone. And there's nothing wrong with liking Hiccup," her mother said, and Astrid just groaned. It wasn't like that. She didn't _like_ Hiccup. She just… felt really weird about him. He just made her feel all weird and mushy and soft.

"But you know, before things go further, you should probably ask Tolfdir to meet with Stoick for a contract, and…" her mother said in a light voice, like she could barely contain her laughter, and Astrid couldn't take the embarrassment anymore.

"No! Don't tell father! He'll just get angry, he doesn't like Hiccup. And I don't want a… _marriage contract_ ," she said, barely able to say the last two words. She never wanted to get married. She always wanted to be a shield maiden, focusing on fighting and war instead of… marriage and… kissing and… other stuff couples did. But now she didn't want to fight anymore. She was sick of fighting and war. But did that mean she wanted that other extreme? She couldn't imagine herself being married.

"Don't worry, Astrid. I was joking. It's a little early for a marriage contract. Let's wait for the poor boy to wake up first, right?" Kirsten said, and she involuntarily giggled. She supposed Hiccup should have a say in all this as well. Her smile fell when she realized he probably wouldn't want to be married to her. She was the one who maimed him, the one who kept hitting him, the one who couldn't stop him from getting hurt again. Why would he like her?

Why did that thought make her so sad?

"But I just want you to know that there's nothing wrong with the way you feel. Hiccup is a nice guy, and he's good for you," Kirsten said as she put her arm around her shoulders. Astrid didn't respond. She was tired of trying to convince her mother she didn't feel that way about Hiccup. Or… was she trying to convince herself she didn't like him?

She supposed Hiccup was a good guy. He's smart, and funny, and… stronger than she ever thought before. He was always nice to her, and he made her laugh like no one else could. And he was so… noble and brave, taking on the Dragon Queen by himself. And even though he was blind, he was still so… capable. He didn't let the blindness stop him from smithing and doing the things that were important to him.

But… just because he had some good qualities, didn't mean she… _liked_ him, did it?

"I suppose. But I don't know if that means… you know," she whispered, feeling more confused than ever.

"Think about it this way, Astrid. You willingly burned your hands to help him. Would you have done that for any other boy?" Kirsten asked, and Astrid frowned. She couldn't imagine doing that for Fishlegs or Tuffnut, let alone Snotlout. She remembered feeling so… scared Hiccup was hurt, and willing to do anything to make sure he wasn't.

Is that what… love is?

Astrid felt so confused.

Maybe Kirsten saw how confused she was, because she didn't press on anymore. She just rubbed her back some more, before standing up.

"I'm going to find your father. He's at Gothi's, getting his broken arm fixed," she said as she walked to the door. But before she left, Kirsten turned around.

"I won't say anything to Tolfdir, child. But if you decide you do want to have a marriage contract, I'll ask him, and I think he wouldn't be… that opposed to it," Kirsten said with a wide smile, and Astrid felt her cheeks heat up again.

"Mother! That won't be necessary!" she shouted, and Kirsten just laughed before exiting the house.

Astrid wasn't sure, but she thought her mother said one last word before leaving.

"Yet…"

Astrid just groaned, before being nudged by Toothless. The dragon was glaring at her, before turning his gaze to the bucket.

"I'm on it, Toothless. At least you don't ask me about my love life," she muttered as she grabbed the cloth and began rinsing Hiccup's hair, hoping his sleep was deep enough that he hadn't heard any of that.


	26. The Black Room

When Hiccup woke up he couldn't figure out why he felt so heavy. It felt like his arms were glued to the floor of the black room. And he was so tired, he just wanted to go back to sleep. But something told him to wake up and think, told him that something important had happened. He struggled to remember what that was. He remembered heat, and coughing. There was… wind? And screaming? He remembered swimming. He remembered flying. Flying on Toothless. But why had it been so hard to breath? Why had there been so much smoke in the air? It hadn't been an ordinary flight. But… why? And why did he remember a Deadly Nadder? Why was Snotlout there?

Why was his brain so slow? Hiccup just wanted to sleep, but he felt too confused to relax. Slowly, very slowly, the puzzle pieces started to come together to fill in the gaps. He had trained dragons… for the other teenagers. But he couldn't remember why, exactly. He remembered flying on the Nadder, but why hadn't he flown on Toothless? There was something with his father… Stoick… had taken Toothless… Suddenly a loud dragon roar echoed in his head and it all came back.

The dragon training finale. Telling his father about the nest. Astrid in jail. They had recruited the other teens and gone after them. Hiccup's breathing quickened as he remembered the battle. Nearly drowning. Saving Astrid, then leaving her behind. He vaguely remembered… rocks raining down on him, and then… cold air. But suddenly there had been heat all around them, and they had gone down. There was an… explosion, but Hiccup didn't remember anything else. He only remembered… fire. So much fire. He remembered burning and pain. He still felt pain, and itching on his face. And his leg felt really weird for some reason. It wasn't really pain, but it was… like nothing he'd ever felt before.

Was he dead? Before he could contemplate the question further something breathed in his face. He smelled… something familiar. Toothless? What happened to Toothless? If he was dead, then what happened to Toothless?

It took all of his power, but eventually he managed to raise his arm slightly. Moments later there was an excited warble, and something warm poked his face. Hiccup smiled. Wherever he was, Toothless was with him. But where was he? What was going on?

"Hey bud," he croaked, surprised by how raw his voice sounded. Toothless warbled again and rubbed and licked his face, and Hiccup reached out his hand to the dragon. That was when he found that his arm was under a blanket. In fact, almost all of his body was covered by thick blankets. He must be lying in some kind of bed. Were there beds in Valhalla? Or was he in Helheim? This didn't feel like what he imagined Helheim to be like.

He removed his hand from the nest of blankets and petted Toothless' warm face, somehow reassuring himself that he was safe, his friend beside him. Finally he moved his other hand and ran it over the wood under him, finding the familiar notches of his own bed. He was in his bed? Was he not dead? Toothless warbled louder, and suddenly something pushed into his gut, making him cry out in pain.

There was a concerned warble as the pressure on his stomach disappeared, and suddenly Hiccup's ears were bombarded with loud clanking and crashing sounds, as Toothless seemed to knock all kinds of things over in his happiness.

"Stop, Toothless! Calm down! Does my dad know you're here?" he shouted at the loudly warbling dragon who seemed to be scratching the wall now. He just realized that he must be in his house, since he was in his own bed. But… why was Toothless here, then? Was Stoick okay with this? His father had apologized before he flew away to fight the Dragon Queen, but did that mean he would allow a dragon into his house?

What was going on? He had to find out. Maybe he could find someone and get some answers. He threw the blanket off him and tried to put his feet on the floor.

But he couldn't. Something felt incredibly wrong with his left leg, and he moved his hands to feel it. At first he thought he was feeling wrong.

Why would there be wood and iron in his bed? And why couldn't he find his foot? His breathing quickened as he ran his hands all over his leg and the strange contraption attached to his leg with ropes, not comprehending. Where was his foot? Where was his foot?! This was just… this couldn't be… It was just covered by this weird wooden and iron thing! He just had to get it away, his foot had to be there, even though he knew there was not enough room inside the narrow piece of iron to hide a foot.

"No, no, no, no, no…" he muttered as he tried to untie the ropes attaching the wood to his knee, but his hands shook too much.

Suddenly there a warm paw was placed over his hands, and he stopped pulling at the rope. He forced himself to try and calm down. Toothless was right there, he was okay. He had to be. He wished he could just see his leg and find out what was wrong. Hiccup's breathing became more frantic when it hit him what the thing was.

He reached his arms out to embrace the dragon's head as he realized that thing _was_ his foot. Would be his foot. The foot was gone, and this… peg leg would replace it. Toothless just warbled sadly as Hiccup pressed his body against the dragon, trying not to break down completely. Why? Why again? Hadn't the gods had enough? Were they not content with taking his sight? Did they have to take his leg as well?

Why did the gods have to hate him so much?

Eventually he calmed down, mumbling thanks to Toothless and releasing the dragon's embrace. He had to get away from here. He had to get answers. He had to find someone who could tell him what the Hel was going on.

So, very slowly, he lifted the… prosthetic over the edge of the bed and lowered it down until he felt a strange pressure in his lower leg. Hiccup put his other foot on the floor as well, and took a deep breath.

Trying to stand up while not feeling any ground under one of your feet was the craziest thing Hiccup had ever felt. He leaned heavily on his right leg as he tried to get used to the weird feeling in his left leg, where the prosthetic pressed against his… It had to be a stump. Hiccup nearly lost his balance as his brain tried to imagine what his leg looked like right now, but he remained standing. He couldn't think about that right now. He had to focus on moving. He just had to make it to the door.

Taking another deep breath, he moved his right foot while keeping his left… thing on the floor. It felt like he was falling, like the floor of his black room had disappeared from under him, but he forced himself to take the step. He wondered if this was how Gobber had felt when he lost his leg. At least Gobber still had eyes to see the ground with. Hoping he wasn't about to hit something he slowly lifted his left leg and tried to place it on the floor in front of him. He couldn't figure out if it was securely on the floor, unable to see or feel where it was, and he didn't dare to lean forward to feel with his hands. Trying to take the step, the iron contraption slipped as pain shot through Hiccup's shin and he fell. He braced himself to hit the floor, but he never did.

It took a moment for Hiccup to realize that the warm surface his upper body was lying on was Toothless' head. Of course it was. Toothless wouldn't let him fall. How could he have doubted that?

"Thanks, bud," he said as he leaned on the dragon, trying to find his balance. He suddenly realized they were the same now, having both lost a limb. But Toothless had ended up okay. Hiccup had been able to make him fly again.

Maybe now Toothless could help him walk again.

"Okay, bud. Can you help me? Let's take it slow, okay?" he said as he tried to take another step, leaning heavily on the dragon. This time he didn't slip, though it still felt incredibly weird to walk without feeling ground under one of your feet. But he couldn't think about that. He had to look forward and see the bright side. If he and Toothless could fly together without Hiccup's sight and Toothless' tail fin, they could damn well make it to the door.

As Toothless led him through the house in a painfully slow pace, Hiccup wondered where Astrid was. Was she banished? Punished for helping him train the dragons?

Killed by the Dragon Queen?

No! He couldn't think like that. Astrid was the strongest person he knew, the Queen had nothing on her. She couldn't be dead. Maybe she was back in jail, or maybe she was already released and she was just in the forest to train with her axe.

Finally they reached the door, and Hiccup was already feeling exhausted. But he had to go on. Astrid didn't give up, and he wouldn't either. So, even though his shin burned and his head felt light, he still opened the door.

Only to slam it shut a moment later when a loud Monstrous Nightmare roar rang out. What was a Nightmare doing at his house? He could vaguely understand that Toothless was there, but a Monstrous Nightmare? His father would never allow that, they were at war with the dragons. Maybe he had imagined it. Or this was all just a crazy dream, and he was about to wake up realizing that none of this had happened.

Well, if he was dreaming, he couldn't die if he went outside. So he slowly opened the door until he felt sunlight warming his face, and listened carefully to the sounds coming up the hill.

There were many dragon sounds, but they didn't sound angry or vengeful, like they normally did during a raid. And people were laughing and shouting. Toothless pushed his way through the door, forcing Hiccup to follow his support in order not to fall.

All of this was crazy. Dragons in Berk? Vikings not attacking dragons? Dragons not attacking Vikings? Him without his leg? Toothless waiting by his bed? Hiccup shook his head, trying to make some sense of it. Had all this happened just because he… killed the Dragon Queen?

Was this Valhalla?

"I knew it. I'm dead," he said, only to be startled by a voice he hadn't expected.

"No, but you gave it your best shot," Stoick said before grabbing his shoulders and leading him down the hill.

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"No, Gronkles still need fish. They only eat rocks to make dragonfire," Astrid explained to one of the many Viking families that were taking in dragons. She could barely believe the influx of dragons into Berk after the defeat of the Dragon Queen (or Red Death, as the villagers called it). But she was even more surprised that, encouraged by enthusiastic children begging for a Monstrous Nightmare or a Deadly Nadder after Gustav bragged about being a dragon rider, many Vikings were starting to take care of a dragon.

While parents weren't willing to give their little son or daughter a Nightmare, they were willing to try small Gronkles or Terrible Terrors after seeing Fishlegs interacting lovingly with his own Gronkle, Meatlug. And as she was the foremost (conscious) dragon expert, everyone was asking her questions about how to take care of their new dragons.

Answering questions took up most of her time and, although she was happy to further Hiccup's vision of friendly interaction between dragons and Vikings, she hated that every day she had less time to watch over Hiccup. She knew it didn't really matter, Hiccup never seemed to respond to her presence anyway, but for some stupid reason she always felt better when she sat next to him.

Saying goodbye to the happy young boy petting his Gronkle, she walked back to Hiccup's house, hoping to get an hour alone with him. But when she approached the bottom of the hill she noticed something was going on. A crowd had formed around the front of the house, and she looked up to see Toothless sitting in the doorway. Why would Toothless leave Hiccup's side? Did something happen?

She started running up the hill and pushed through the assembled Vikings who were laughing loudly. And suddenly she saw him. Hiccup was so incredibly thin and pale, looking like he was about to faint, but he was awake! And he was… laughing!

How dare he be so damn happy?! She had spent all those hours at his bedside, miserable, begging him to wake up, and now he was awake and he looked like he didn't care at all! Why, that little… Why did he make her feel so much?! She wanted to scream, to giggle, to throw her arms around him and hug him and kiss him and…

Wow, where did that come from? She was Astrid the Strong! She wasn't supposed to feel this stupid! So she walked up to Hiccup and, without hesitation, punched him on the arm while saying "That's for scaring me!"

It made her feel good. For less than half a second. Hiccup stumbled back from her punch, his iron foot slipping out from under him, and then he was falling. Without thinking she grabbed him by the front of his vest to stop his fall. The close contact took her breath away, and suddenly she struggled to remember why she had been angry at him. As she looked at him, that red blindfold under brown hair, that shocked expression and open mouth, she felt something so different from anger she didn't even know what it was.

And without thinking, she pulled him back to his feet before putting her lips on his. A small part of her wanted to feel repulsed by his bad breath and the hint of saliva she could taste. But she didn't care. Because she was kissing this amazing boy, and for the first time in forever, she felt completely calm.

Hiccup didn't look calm when she released him, though. He wasn't breathing at all, and his hands were shaking. He seemed about to pass out, and Astrid grabbed his arms to steady him. A little squeak came out of his throat, and Astrid felt really stupid. Of course he didn't… like her like that. He didn't want to kiss her at all.

She tried her best not to feel hurt about that. But just as she was about to release him and stomp off he took a gasping breath before smiling the biggest smile she had ever seen, and suddenly all was right as she smiled as well.

"I didn't see that coming," Hiccup said, and she couldn't help but snort as she pulled him a little closer, careful of his metal leg. Astrid wished there weren't so many Vikings around her. She wanted to be alone with Hiccup and tell him what an idiot he was for sleeping so long and making her worry so much. She wanted to tell him what an idiot he was for going after the Red Death alone.

And above all, she wanted to kiss him again for being such a lovable idiot. But his father was watching, and Spitelout, and a lot of other people. She averted her eyes from Hiccup for a moment to look around, stifling her groan when she saw her parents standing nearby, her mother giggling while her father just looked shell-shocked. Gods, when had she become someone who kissed silly boys in front of everyone? If someone had told her a month ago that she would be kissing Hiccup Haddock she would have punched them.

But now she didn't mind so much. Maybe that's what that soft and mushy feeling was all about. She used to think that that made her weak. But maybe Hiccup had melted her with his friendliness and warmth, like an iron rod that used to be cold and stiff, turned malleable and glowing in a forge. Maybe he had reforged her into something stronger, like he could make a sharp sword or a powerful axe from shapeless metal. He turned her hard but formless being into a strong weapon. And now, standing next to him, she felt like she, they, were strong enough to defeat anything.

Maybe he had forged more than just a new axe blade that first day. Maybe they had made more than just a tail fin in those secret nights in the forge.

And Astrid couldn't wait to find out what more they would forge together.

She looked away from the smiling and blushing boy in front of her to see Gobber standing nearby, the new tail fin in his arms.

"Oh, Hiccup! We have a surprise for you!" she said as Gobber grabbed his hands and gave him the tail fin. Hiccup looked like he was about to slip again, so she put a hand on his back to steady him as he ran his fingers over the contraption.

"A welcome home gift. It fits your new leg," Gobber said, and Astrid swore she saw a flash of… pain cross Hiccup's face, before disappearing as quickly as it came as he started smiling again.

"It's a… tail fin? For Toothless? But what happened to the other one?" Hiccup asked as he examined the new pedal with his fingers.

"It got burned, Hiccup. After you defeated the Dragon Queen. Don't you remember?" Astrid asked, and Hiccup's face became… sullen again. But before he could formulate a response a cry went out.

"Night Fury! Get down!"

Astrid nearly ducked when she heard the familiar warning, before seeing that Toothless was simply knocking people over in his haste to get to Hiccup and examine the new fin. She looked up to see Hiccup smiling as he did his best to pet Toothless while keeping a hold of the fin, and she figured memories of that horrible day could wait. Maybe after Hiccup and Toothless tried out their new fin, and they'd filled Hiccup in about what was going on in the village, they could sit down and talk about their injuries and memories. But for now, Astrid was happy to look forward to a bright future.

Though she subtly tried to glare at her mother still giggling in the background. Astrid didn't want a marriage contract.

Yet.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hiccup was so tired. It was so stupid, he had only been up for a few hours, and he already felt like falling asleep again. It had been like that for the past few days. Get up, eat breakfast, practice with the prosthetic, be exhausted and fall asleep at the dinner table.

Everyone kept reassuring him that it was okay, that he should take it slow, that being tired was to be expected, but it just felt insulting. Like they were expecting him to do so badly at this.

Hiccup just felt weak and useless. Every day he'd spend hours just… taking steps. Learning to walk without falling. And progress was so slow. After a dozen hours of practicing, all he could do was make it from one end of the room to the other in a painfully slow pace. Every step took his full concentration, since he had to think about how he was moving the wooden extension of his leg, and if it was securely on the floor. It was hard to place the prosthetic just right without seeing it. And he couldn't feel it either. All he felt was the pressure against his stump, and that didn't tell him much of the angle or structure of the floor. The moment something distracted him while he was taking a step, he'd fall. Every time he fell, Toothless would catch him, but it still hurt.

He knew his father was silently watching, sometimes offering an encouragement when he'd made it to the wall without stumbling, more often sighing when he fell again. Stoick kept telling him how proud he was of him, that Hiccup was a hero, and that he was so sorry of how he treated him.

Hiccup had trouble believing it. Why would his father feel so differently? He supposed that, after all, killing a dragon was all he needed to do to earn his father's respect. He just wished the dragon hadn't needed to be so big. That it hadn't had to take his leg. And he certainly didn't feel like a hero.

It was hard to feel heroic or strong when you could barely walk. He tried not to think about what else would come. If walking across a straight floor he knew like the back of his hand was so hard, how hard would walking through the village be? Running? Walking on snow or ice? Climbing stairs? Navigating the forest? The very idea scared him. For now he'd lean heavily on Toothless when he'd need to climb the stairs to his bedroom, and he didn't really leave the house much, except to go to the outhouse, once again supported by Toothless. He was stuck in the little black room more than ever, and he hated it. It was even worse than with the blindness. At least then he hadn't felt so… stuck. At least he had been able to walk, even if he kept walking into things.

Now he just tripped over nonexistent things.

Sometimes Astrid would come by and watch him practice. He hated it. He loved her company, but he wished she wouldn't see him like this. He had heard her practice somersaults and back flips until they were perfect, and now she was looking at him failing to take two steps in a row without falling. Her presence only made him more nervous, so he'd fall even more. At least she never laughed or joked, she'd just ask if he was okay, before patting his shoulder and telling him to try again.

It made his stomach feel all funny and light.

Every time she touched him he was reminded of that kiss she gave him after he woke up. It had felt amazing, and made him feel all fuzzy, but he was sure she wouldn't want to kiss him anymore. Not after she had seen him fall dozens of times from tripping over nothing. What did he have to offer her, anyway? He was blind, he was lame, and he was weak. He wished he could see her face, but at the same time he was terrified there would just be pity and disgust there.

But somehow she stuck around, and kept telling him to get up and try again. So he did. Even though he was so tired, and he just wanted to lean on Toothless or go back to bed, he kept going. Because Astrid was watching, and he didn't want to disappoint her. She had promised to always be there for him, and he wanted to be there for her as well. He wanted to be able to accompany her, wherever she went. And for that, he needed to be able to walk.

He couldn't help but wonder why she still stuck around so much, though. Maybe she and Stoick or Gobber made another deal while he was unconscious? The thought scared him, but he couldn't imagine Astrid wanted to spend so much time looking at him hobble along for any other reason. After all, she couldn't like watching him, right? He couldn't imagine he was looking very attractive as he stumbled and made extremely slow steps.

But… she had still kissed him. He couldn't imagine that was part of any deal. He wanted to ask her, but he was scared to do it. Especially in front of anyone else. While he had to admit that he liked having his father around more, it was starting to get on his nerves. He just wanted to go to the cove with Astrid and Toothless again, and talk freely like they used to. He wanted to hug her and admit that he hated the prosthetic and that he was scared of going out of the house. He wanted to tell her that he liked her, and that that kiss was the best thing he'd ever felt.

He just wanted to be alone with Astrid in his little black room.

But he couldn't walk to the cove, and he didn't dare to ask Astrid to help him get there. Maybe that carefree time was over, burned away like his leg in a storm of smoke and fire. That battle, and the weeks he spent sleeping had changed something between them.

If only he knew if it was a change for the better, or for the worse.

But, even in the darkness of the black room he stumbled around in, each touch and encouragement from Astrid was like a ray of light. It made him hope that she would stick around, and be with him every step of the way.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Astrid tried not to sigh as Hiccup's foot slipped again on the slightly sloped part of the floor near the fire pit. After four days of practice he was reasonably good at walking from one end of the room to the other, and he she could see him improve every hour he trained.

She just wondered if he could see that as well. As the hours dragged on Hiccup seemed to become more annoyed and tired. He didn't shout or scream, he tried to hide it as best he could, but Astrid saw the signs. His hands balled into fists, his head bowed to face the ground, and he stopped thanking Toothless every time the dragon stopped his fall. But above all, he didn't say anything. He didn't joke, he didn't make sarcastic remarks. He just gritted his teeth and took another step in silence.

It worried Astrid. She tried to help him, tried to tell him it was okay that he stumbled, but it only seemed to make things worse. In fact, her very presence seemed to make him walk worse. He seemed nervous and jumpy, and Stoick told her he was calmer when she wasn't in the room. Astrid hated it. Hiccup normally calmed her racing heart and itching hands, and she wished she could do the same thing for him.

Maybe he needed a break. He needed some fresh air and something to do that didn't involve walking. She looked at Stoick sitting on the chair next to her, sharpening his axe, and she remembered her own damaged weapon. She had promised herself that she'd let Hiccup fix it.

Maybe now was a good moment for that. Maybe smithing would take his mind off his foot.

"Chief? Can I take Hiccup out for a while? We could go to the forge, get him some fresh air," she whispered to the large man, voice low enough that Hiccup wouldn't hear it.

Stoick didn't respond right away, only looking at his son for a while, wincing when Hiccup stumbled again, clearly hurting from seeing his son like this. Finally he sighed before nodding.

Astrid stood up and walked over to Hiccup, who was now taking a little breather, leaning against the wall.

"Hey Hiccup? Shall we go to the forge for a while? You're doing great, and I think you deserve a break," she said, and Hiccup seemed to cringe when she said he was doing great. Did he really not see it? It had only been four days, for crying out loud, and he was already doing so well!

He looked unsure, until Toothless nudged him and crooned sadly, clearly trying to tell him he should go. Then he slowly nodded, and Astrid grabbed his arm to lead him out of the house.

Somehow holding his vest in her hands felt familiar and right, even though she couldn't feel the fabric that well with the scars on her hands. She could hear his breathing quicken as she slowly lead him through the door, taking her time on every step he had to take. He must be nervous. She supposed he would. Walking down the hill would be harder than walking in his house. But he had to. She knew he could do it, and that he was brave enough to try.

She definitely wasn't going to carry him. Not because she would think it was disgusting or stupid, but because she knew he could stand on his own.

Even if he had to lean on her while taking a step.

"Don't worry, Hiccup. I won't let you fall," she whispered in his ear as she moved her arms so she had her left arm around his shoulders, holding his left arm, and her right hand held his right arm. She would be able to catch him if he stumbled, but hopefully to outsiders it would look like she was simply holding him close.

"I know, I know… I'm just… nervous," he slowly admitted as they stood on the edge of his porch, and she smiled.

"I know. But I know you can do it, okay? Take all the time you need," she said as she nudged him forward slightly.

And slowly, very slowly, he lifted his left foot and hesitantly put it on the ground in front of him. He leaned forward slightly, probably trying to test his balance, before putting his right foot forward as well. Then he repeated the process.

"See, Hiccup! You're doing great!" she said, but before she finished the sentence his foot slipped, and she tightened her hold on his shoulders, holding him in place as he regained his footing.

They descended the hill in an agonizingly slow pace, but Astrid didn't care. She briefly looked around to see Toothless a few steps behind her, looking at Hiccup with a happy expression on his face. Maybe he was happy Hiccup was getting out as well.

Finally they reached the bottom, and Astrid gave him a moment to catch his breath.

"Ready to go on? It's mostly flat from now on," she told him, and he smiled.

"Okay. I think my old step count isn't going to help anymore, though, so… you'll… I'd like it if you could tell me when we're there," Hiccup said, and she frowned. Why would he ask her? Did he think she would refuse?

"Of course I'll tell you, I'm coming with you! We're gonna smith together, remember? My axe needs some work, and I want you to do it," she said, and he bowed his head, looking embarrassed.

"You want my help with that? Why not ask Gobber?" he asked, and she resisted the urge to punch him. Why was he so… dense?

"Because you're much more fun than Gobber, and you did a great job on my axe last time," she said as she grabbed his right arm again and moved him in the right direction.

"Okay. Right. I'll… I'll try," he said, and she tried not to sigh. Why was he so insecure now? It was starting to get on her nerves.

They started walking again, Hiccup carefully feeling the ground with his prosthetic before taking a step. He didn't slip anymore, and Astrid thought she could see him become a little more confident as they got closer to the square. Astrid did her best to glare and warn any Vikings that looked like they might laugh at Hiccup's slow pace to not try anything. At last they entered the forge where Gobber was already working on some wooden parts.

"Hello Hiccup! How's it going! You wanted to be more like me, didn't you? Well, now you are!" Gobber said with a laugh, and Hiccup smiled and greeted the blacksmith, though it seemed forced to Astrid.

"So, what is wrong with your axe?" Hiccup asked, and she remembered why they were there. She unsheathed her axe and put it in his hands, and he ran his fingers over the ruined edge.

"I see. We just need to melt the edge and hammer it again. Should be easy!" he said while smiling, and she let go of him to light the forge. As she grabbed some coal she heard a bang behind her. Hiccup had slipped, and Gobber was helping him get up again.

She pumped the bellows, trying not to look at Hiccup… hobble around the building, collecting his tools. It was so different from earlier. That first time they fixed her axe he had easily navigated around all the obstacles, even though he couldn't see them. Now though, he was mostly hopping on his good foot, constantly colliding with the anvil and the tables. She could see the pain on his face every time he hit something.

This was not what she was hoping for. She had been trying to get his mind off the leg, but now he was confronted with it more than ever. Hopefully when they started the actual forging he'd feel better.

"The forge is hot, Hiccup," she told him, and he hesitantly hopped over, holding her axe in one hand. Eventually he made it to the correct spot, and she saw Gobber looking concerned from the other side of the room. She just tried to smile and not to think about his limp.

"Do we need extra iron?" she asked, and Hiccup's bad mood seemed to disappear as he lowered the damaged axe blade into the forge.

"No, we just need to wait until it's red-hot, and then we can fix it right up," Hiccup said, before starting a conversation with Gobber. Astrid smiled as she saw him cheer up a little. She suddenly saw Toothless' head appear above the counter, smiling his toothless grin when he saw Hiccup talking animatedly with Gobber.

Before long the metal was glowing and Astrid told Hiccup. He smiled as he lifted the axe and turned around to put it on the anvil.

Apparently completely forgetting about his leg.

Astrid was too late to catch him, her fingers grabbing nothing but air as Hiccup fell backward. He threw his arms up in panic, the glowing axe flying through the air and only barely missing Astrid's head. She gasped when she felt the heat pass right by her before the axe hit the table behind her with a loud clatter. Gobber quickly ran over to grab the axe while she tried to pull Hiccup to his feet.

When she looked at his face she gasped. He looked… broken. His hands were balled into fists, and he was biting his lips like he was trying not to scream.

"Give me the axe. I need to fix it," he eventually said in a thick voice, while taking deep breaths. Astrid had only seen him like that once before.

It was just after they had seen the Red Death for the first time, when they discussed leaving Berk. When he asked her if she really meant it when she said they were friends and she wouldn't let him go. She recognized that same expression and voice now, and she knew what it meant.

Hiccup was not okay. He needed comfort, and maybe he needed to cry. She had promised she would let him cry if he had to, and he'd let her cry in return. Maybe that time was now.

But she knew he would be mortified if he broke down in front of anyone else. She had to get him away from here. Away from the gossiping villagers and joking teens. Toothless crooned sadly, clearly disturbed at the Hiccup's unhappiness. That gave Astrid an idea. Toothless still had his new saddle on, and Hiccup had seemed happiest when riding Toothless during those few times Stoick had allowed it.

"Leave the axe, Hiccup. We're going for a ride on Toothless. Now," she said as she grabbed his arms and pulled him towards the door. She shot an apologetic look back at Gobber, but he only nodded before giving her a thumbs-up.

"No! I need to fix that axe!" he shouted, and she only pulled him harder.

"No, you need to fly for a while. Just us, alone in the sky, okay? Don't you want that?" she pleaded, and Hiccup eventually just nodded before climbing into the saddle and attaching his prosthetic to the pedal.

As she climbed into the saddle behind him, she promised herself again that she wouldn't let anyone bully Hiccup. Not even himself.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hiccup took deep breaths, trying to compose himself. Toothless warbled as Astrid climbed on behind him, and Hiccup only felt weaker. He was pathetic. Here he was, almost crying like a baby after failing to do the one thing he was good at. Smithing.

But he still felt protected when Astrid put her arms around him, and he reminded himself that she wouldn't hate him. At least he could still control the fin. The pedal positions were a little different, since he couldn't move his ankle anymore, but he had figured them out pretty quickly. It was much easier than walking. Sometimes he wished he could just fly everywhere.

Like now. After a whole day of being pathetic, he had to admit it was nice to be back on Toothless.

"Let's go, bud," he said after setting the fin to the 'up' position, and a moment later he felt the familiar feeling of flight. Astrid pulled him a little closer, and he could feel that she was laying her head on his shoulder.

"It's okay, Hiccup. You don't have to hide it from me. I can see that… it's hard, and that you're hurting. But it's just us up here. And I won't laugh, or pick on you, or do anything else. And Toothless won't either. You know that, right?" Astrid whispered in his ear, and he only felt worse. He did his best not to break down and cry. He shouldn't cry. Astrid was strong, she never cried, and he wouldn't either.

So he just nodded, afraid that the tears would start if he opened his mouth.

Astrid sighed as she rubbed his stomach in a comforting way, but she didn't say anything. She just rubbed him with her hands, and he had to admit it felt nice. Then her hands ran over his, and he noticed something was wrong. Her hands felt… weird. Almost like the scars on his face.

"Astrid? What's wrong with your hands?" he asked, glad for the distraction from his own problems. As long as he was thinking about Astrid he wasn't thinking of his own uselessness.

"My hands? Oh, you don't know, of course," she said, before taking a deep breath. Hiccup felt dread pool in his stomach. Why wouldn't he know? When had something happened?

"They were burned. After the… battle. After you defeated that monster. You had fallen off Toothless, but the pedal was still around your ankle, and it was burning and glowing, so I had to get it off," Astrid said, and Hiccup's hands started to shake as he started to understand what had happened.

"But… But I didn't have any tools, so I used my hands. It was useless, of course, we still had to… amputate, but… And now there are burn scars on my hands," she finished, and Hiccup felt a wave of guilt overwhelm him. Even when he was unconscious he hurt people. Astrid had burned her hands in an attempt to save his leg. To save his stupid leg! And now he couldn't walk anyway, and he was blind, and…

Somehow that broke down the last of Hiccup's defenses, and he felt himself break as massive sobs shook his body. "I'm sorry, Astrid," he managed to say between sobs, and Astrid just held him tighter.

"It's okay, Hiccup. It's okay. I'm right here, and I'm okay, and you're gonna be okay," she said, and he realized she was crying as well.

He could barely believe it, but he could hear her sobs and feel her tears fall on his neck. Astrid was strong, she didn't cry. But… maybe if she cried, he could cry as well.

So he turned in the saddle as best as he could to hold her better as they cried for lost hands and lost feet, lost sight and lost chances. For the first time Hiccup felt like she was really there with him in his black room, that he wasn't alone anymore. Hiccup felt all the frustration of the past few days, and maybe even all the frustration that had build up since he was blinded, pour away as he cried and held Astrid close. Toothless warbled sadly, and Hiccup wondered if the dragon was crying as well, crying for his lost fin, and for his rider's leg.

He didn't know how long they glided in circles far above Berk, just holding each other as they let everything out. But eventually he took deep breaths as his sobbing stopped. Astrid finally calmed as well, and they pulled apart a little, though never releasing each other. Hiccup felt better than he had in a long time, and he felt a need to thank this amazing girl for that.

"Thank you, Astrid. And I'm so sorry about your hands. I… You shouldn't have done that. It wasn't worth it," he said, and she just gasped.

"I know, it was useless in the end, but I tried to save you, and I couldn't let you get hurt anymore," Astrid said, and Hiccup just shook his head, not understanding. Why would she want that? Why would she risk her hands to save him, little Hiccup Haddock?

"But… why? I'm not worth that. You… Your hands are worth more than me! I'm just… I'm just Hiccup the Useless," he said as he nearly dissolved into tears again, but a punch on his arm ended the onset of tears.

"How dare you? Don't you dare think that you're useless! You're not! You're the best damn person on this whole damn island. And I would gladly burn my hands again to help you," she exclaimed, and Hiccup just couldn't believe it. But Astrid wouldn't lie to him anymore, would she? They had promised they would be honest with each other, that they would be friends, and friends didn't lie, right? But then why would she speak such clear lies?

"But… I can't be the best person. You're the best person, Astrid! You're strong, and brave, and… athletic and pretty and loyal and… I don't know, you're just the best Viking ever. I'm just… blind, and small, and weak, and I can't take two steps without falling over. Why would you… want to be friends with me? Why would you want to burn your hands for me?" he asked as he grabbed her hands again, the burns reminding him of the pain he had caused her.

"Maybe I'm a good Viking, but there's so many more important things, Hiccup. That's what you made me see. You're… smart, and funny, and just… good. I don't want to be just a good Viking, Hiccup. I want to be a good person. Like you are. Because you just… make me feel amazing, and I don't know what I'd do without you. Do you know how much I've cried when you didn't wake up? Did I feel weak? Of course. But I didn't care about that. Don't you get it? You've made me laugh for the first time in years, you made me care about another person for the first time in a decade. And when you're beside me I feel like I'm the strongest Viking in the world," she said, and Hiccup didn't know how to respond.

The confession made his head spin. He made her feel good? He made her feel strong? She didn't want to be a good Viking? It was like she was describing how she made him feel, and it was all backward and wrong.

"So… is that why you kissed me?" he finally asked, terrified of the answer, but needing to know anyway.

"I suppose. I… I like you, Hiccup. I like you a lot. I love that you're so smart and funny, and you're… you're way stronger than I am. I don't think I would have taken being blinded and losing a leg as well as you did! You might not see it, or believe it, but you're doing so well!" Astrid slowly said, and Hiccup just shook his head.

"I… It's hard to believe that. I feel so useless. I mean, you're doing all those perfect somersaults and axe-throws, and I'm just… failing at walking straight while colliding with everything in my path," he said, and she punched him again.

"Do you really think I did all those things perfectly on the first try? I trained for years and years before I was this good. You've been practicing with that prosthetic for four days, Hiccup! And you just lost your leg and your eyes! Do you think that I would be practicing jumps and somersaults after a week if I lost my leg? Of course not! You've got a lifetime to train in, so don't worry if it takes a few days. I don't mind. I really don't. I just want you to get well again, and not be so miserable," Astrid said as Hiccup rubbed his aching arm, Toothless softly warbling underneath them.

He wondered if the dragon agreed with Astrid. Maybe she was right, and up here, high above the clouds, he could believe her. It was just them, alone in the darkness, and somehow that black room became a space where they would always be honest with each other. Maybe he should be honest with her. She just told him about how he made her feel, and maybe he should return the favor.

"I'm sorry for making you… worry, even though I just don't understand why you would worry about me. But… you make me feel strong as well. You make me feel like… like I don't have to prove myself anymore. I only feel safe around you or Toothless! I've always liked you, but the past few weeks I've started to like you even more. I love how you don't laugh at me, or make me feel useless. You make me feel like I'm worth something, Astrid! And that's the best thing I've ever felt!" he said as he hugged her again.

"You are worth something, Hiccup! More than… more than I can explain. I made a promise to stand by you, and I intend to keep that promise, Hiccup. Can we promise that we won't let each other go? That we'll always help each other, that we'll tell each other when we're feeling bad, and that we'll… we'll be… I don't know… more than friends? Partners? I don't know, you're the smart one, you figure it out!" Astrid said, and he couldn't help but laugh.

"I promise, Astrid. I promise on everything I love. We'll be… I don't know! Maybe we don't need to capture it in words, Astrid. Let's just… be this thing, and never let each other go," he said, and suddenly his face was pulled forward into a searing kiss. And finally, Hiccup's black room was filled with light and warmth as he kissed Astrid back.

Unseen to the both of them, Toothless grinned before lifting them a little higher into the night's sky. They would have to come back down soon, but for now they were content for the people of Berk to be blind to them flying above. For now, the only thing someone would see if they happened to look up would be a dark shadow passing over the bright stars above, as black as night.

 

**THE END**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed reading this story! If you liked it, please leave a comment! I am writing a sort of sequel called 'Blind Spots', which is basically a series of one-shots taking place after Black as Night, as Hiccup and Astrid learn to deal with their wounds and disabilities in peacetime. So if you enjoyed the saga of Blindcup and Scarstrid, there's more!


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